It took at least a year before the rest of our family "got it", it even took my husband at least 6 months after diagnosis. There's nothing wrong with him, he's just a little off-schedule, my sister's co-worker's neighbor had a kid that didn't talk til he was 3 and there's nothing wrong with him now. Sigh. But I knew something was wrong, I was the one that pursued it.
That led to a problem as I was much further along in the "mourning" process than everyone else. I had already gone thru denial, anger, mourning, trying to "fix" it, most of the phases, while everyone else was still in denial. So not only trying to deal with the autism, but also apparantly consoling the rest of the family. That was tiring.
The reality hit when he got approved for SSI. And when they approved us without a fight. I remember that hit me really hard, too, for some reason. It was one thing, I guess, to hear a bunch of medical terminology from good doctors, it's another thing when (essentially) the government decides your child is disabled. Like a ton of bricks.