Advice taking grandkids

[tinkerjo]

So we are pretty seasoned WDW travelers , going every 2-3 years for the last 25 years or so with the kids. We are planning a trip in the spring of 2025 with the 3 oldest grandkids (boys ages 10,9,6 at the time of travel all of them within a month of turning the next age) my youngest DS17 will be with us also. My biggest worry are that the kids aren’t used to traveling/or doing much in general other than school. They all are very immature for their ages and oldest is on medications for ADHD. We try to take them places when we can but both DH and I work full time and are busy being mom and dad to a teen. I guess I’m worried about them being overwhelmed. I am prepared for the long drive from Ohio(DH does not fly) and we are staying at Ft wilderness with a couple resort days scheduled. We are not park commandos, usually rope dropping and being done about 3 or so. Anyone with any experience with taking “sheltered from the world kids”? We invited their mom and dad but don’t think they will have the money and honestly I think it will be easier without them. The last trip with DIL was a nightmare.

 

[DL1WDW2]

I guess my first priority would be to keep an eye on the Fort Wilderness booking window .
I would also want a golf cart. I think there are 4 and 6 seaters but fewer available for the size you would want. Ask about reserving that when you make a reservation.
Second thing is to realize that age seems to like to sleep in . Hopefully they will realize after the first day …they need to wake up early . Staying at the Cabins does give you all a casual visit to enjoy those simpler things like the roasting marshmallows and watching the outdoor movie with ChipnDale and the fireworks without crowds and the Water Pageant Parade nightly from the docks.
The horse barn is interesting even if you don’t plan to ride a horse.
Do you think they would prefer Animal Kingdom or something like Star Wars or just the basic Magic Kingdom on the PeopleMover etc? We can give suggestions for the easier simpler things to explore or the more advanced structured style .
You have given us the basics so just a few more hints maybe .
But definitely keep an eye on getting your desired resort location at the Fort.

 

[tinkerjo]

We are actually going to rent a camper at the fort and plan to schedule soon (for early May 2025) we plan on getting a golf cart with it (we have a golf cart at home and love riding it) they are pretty early risers and never let me sleep in when they spend the night so don’t anticipate any issues getting up. They will love Animal kingdom and plan on doing that park first as I think it’s not quite as busy and they love animals. I just really want them to have a good time but I can’t even get them interested in videos on YouTube. I don’t think they get it is a real place. They do watch Disney Jr but don’t have much of an attention span for movies. If it’s not animated they aren’t watching it so they don’t know much about Star Wars

 

[Cindra]

Have recently visited w/sheltered/ADHD great-nephew children; although they are a bit younger. Parks/crowds were ok at first but became overwhelming. Ft. Wilderness sound perfect for your trip. Sounds great that they are early risers which can accommodate the rope-drop itinerary.

Be flexible about the time to be done. Gauge if it is becoming overwhelming and call the depart time earlier if needed. It is a lot of stimulation for individuals not used to it.

With a golf cart at Ft. Wilderness there are so many options to get away from the crowds if it becomes overwhelming.

Tri-Circle-D is great and there is an inter-resort bus to Wilderness Lodge, as well as all the things to do moving around the campground. There are ways to see the electric parade from both locations if still up (although maybe not, if doing the rope drop itinerary.

I like that you indicate that you aren't park commandos. That would likely not go well with what you have described (as well learned!).

 

[rdaky]

If I can give perspective from the other side. I am "the DIL" obviously not the original poster's DIL lol but I am a mom of kids with ADHD, sensory issues, and one who is immature for age. It's often NOT easier for grandparents to handle it without the parents. You are not with them daily, so you don't see the daily quirks and redirection and what works and what doesn't on the mundane daily tasks. So I would prepare yourself as much in advance to learn those things, what works, what doesn't, what to do in the middle of a meltdown and what not to do. We have well meaning grandparents who are absolutely not allowed to take our kids on a trip without us because we've experienced one to many times where they don't know what they're doing and make things a lot worse and then the kids are miserable. It sounds like you don't want DIL to go. I am in the exact place of your DIL with the in-laws not wanting me to be there. But usually mom (and dad) are the ones who know how to redirect. So again, it would help you a lot to have DIL fill you in on what works and what doesn't. Otherwise you're going to have miserable kids in the middle of meltdowns. I'm a local and my own child with ADHD can't last more than a few hours in a park and would prefer to spend the entire time in the pool. Just another perspective coming from care and a mom who has traveled with grandparents who have a lot of ideas about how things will go and then are frustrated when the kids are acting up.

While you're a seasoned Disney visitor, I would let go of any expectations. The kids might want to swim in the pool the entire time. They might want to spend a lot of time playing in the fountains in Fantasyland instead of riding rides. Let them do it. Let them stop and don't worry so much about how much they can see or do. It's tough to say what they'll want but odds are that it might not be what you think. We went on a trip with grandparents years ago and my husband's dad reminded my husband how much they had paid for park tickets and the kids were done after about 2 hours and just wanted to swim in the pool and hang out in the hotel room because the hotel room was more exciting to them than rides. lol.

It's great to hear that you're not park commandos. I'd let them sleep in or at least sleep until their normal wake up time and not rope drop unless they actually normally wake up that early. Make a decent breakfast with protein. If you're rushing, they're going to feel stressed.

 

[theMoreDisneytheBetter]

My biggest concern in your trip plan is what happens if your 17 year old’s needs are different from your grandchildren’s needs?

For grandkids, my best advice would be to try to be as flexible as possible with them. If they aren’t used to waiting in lines Genie+ could be hugely helpful, if budget allows. Also don’t go in with the idea of having to “DO” everything. Pick a few things, or not, and let them dictate what they get out of the experience. Depending on when in spring, it could be quite crowded, which, as others have said, can be very overwhelming even for seasoned Disney travelers.

BUT…where does that leave your son? What if he wants to do rides that the “kids” don’t want to do? Or wants to stay longer when the younger kids are done for the day? Would you or your husband be ok splitting up the group? Would you son feel abandoned, or would he prefer some one on one time (or alone time)?

IMO, the important thing is to build positive (Disney) memories with your family - not checking off every single ride in every single park AND having a lot of meals AND shows etc etc. Disney will be there next year, and the year after that.

 

[3rd_time_the_charm]

Flexibility is key - and if they are more interested in the pool and not the expensive parks you paid for- so be it. My sister was upset when my nephew with Asberger's didn't want to do anything but play with his monorail. She got over it, but what she pictured as a perfect Disney trip didn't happen for her.

 

[MissDisney21]

Let the grandchildren take the lead in how much you do each day. Kids who haven’t experienced Disney will get joy out of just riding the monorail, see the castle, and some of the more mellow things that more seasoned Disney goers may take for granted and don’t notice that much anymore.

Ask the parents what they think their children would enjoy and what they think you should avoid. Hearing their perspective and giving them a voice may truly be appreciated by them.

Consider indoor quiet places for food or snacks to help the kids regulate.

Stress balls or fidget things are good to have in your park bag for the kids to do while waiting in line.

Have fun!!

 

[tinkerjo]

If I can give perspective from the other side. I am "the DIL" obviously not the original poster's DIL lol but I am a mom of kids with ADHD, sensory issues, and one who is immature for age. It's often NOT easier for grandparents to handle it without the parents. You are not with them daily, so you don't see the daily quirks and redirection and what works and what doesn't on the mundane daily tasks. So I would prepare yourself as much in advance to learn those things, what works, what doesn't, what to do in the middle of a meltdown and what not to do. We have well meaning grandparents who are absolutely not allowed to take our kids on a trip without us because we've experienced one to many times where they don't know what they're doing and make things a lot worse and then the kids are miserable. It sounds like you don't want DIL to go. I am in the exact place of your DIL with the in-laws not wanting me to be there. But usually mom (and dad) are the ones who know how to redirect. So again, it would help you a lot to have DIL fill you in on what works and what doesn't. Otherwise you're going to have miserable kids in the middle of meltdowns. I'm a local and my own child with ADHD can't last more than a few hours in a park and would prefer to spend the entire time in the pool. Just another perspective coming from care and a mom who has traveled with grandparents who have a lot of ideas about how things will go and then are frustrated when the kids are acting up.

While you're a seasoned Disney visitor, I would let go of any expectations. The kids might want to swim in the pool the entire time. They might want to spend a lot of time playing in the fountains in Fantasyland instead of riding rides. Let them do it. Let them stop and don't worry so much about how much they can see or do. It's tough to say what they'll want but odds are that it might not be what you think. We went on a trip with grandparents years ago and my husband's dad reminded my husband how much they had paid for park tickets and the kids were done after about 2 hours and just wanted to swim in the pool and hang out in the hotel room because the hotel room was more exciting to them than rides. lol.

It's great to hear that you're not park commandos. I'd let them sleep in or at least sleep until their normal wake up time and not rope drop unless they actually normally wake up that early. Make a decent breakfast with protein. If you're rushing, they're going to feel stressed.

Yes, I’m prepared for them to love the pool. I do take them swimming occasionally because they love it! I’m sorry to hear about your relationship with your in-laws. I really try not to be “that mother in law” but my DIL is not an involved parent (my son either to be honest) there are actually 4 kids but we aren’t taking the smallest (he will be 3) but we have the kids a lot on The weekends. It’s just hard for us to take all 4 (vehicle size) but do have land so they can play outside to their hearts content. Honestly, When their parents are around the behavior is just terrible and the last time we took them (oldest 2 were 18 months and 6 months ) We have structure at our house and they seem to respond pretty well to it but it takes a day or so. I have taken them to the zoo and a smaller park with kiddie rides but nothing big. I figured fireworks on the beach if they can stay awake (they are early birds. Parents put them to bed at 7 most nights) and chip and Dale are in the plans and the only meals we plan is Ohana breakfast and hoop Dee doo. I plan a lot of kid type meals at the camper

 

[tinkerjo]

My biggest concern in your trip plan is what happens if your 17 year old’s needs are different from your grandchildren’s needs?

Luckily my DS is a saint!! He is excited to take the kids and he has been probably been to WDW 8 times and DL twice. (Along with 3DCL cruises, universal, sea world, Myrtle beach etc.) he will be a huge help as the boys adore him and DS is cool with nostalgia rides too. I’m not saying me and him might not go back to the park some evening and ride a few rides while DH watches the grands. There is also a possibility my DD (30) and family might tag along also and he could hang out with them.

 

[serenitynow]

I have taken grandkids to Disney a number of times. Some trips have been easier than others. Our family has a strict “time out” rule, which includes the adults. Whenever someone feels upset or overwhelmed, they can call a “time out”. A time out means we find someplace quieter to sit and sip a cup of free ice water, refill the popcorn bucket and just relax.

And yes, the adults get called out for time outs too. It is amazing how much better everyone feels after a time out.

We also try to devote the afternoons to splitting up, if possible, to allow folks to relax in the hotel or swim in the pool. The bigger kids sometimes go back to the parks to ride the big thrill rides in the afternoon without having to deal with the Dumbo loving littles.

Also accepting that things are going to go wrong and try to just make the best of it. Some of our best memories have come from Disney “disasters”.

 

[tinkerjo]

I like the timeout idea!! We will have to use it.

 

[Rory607]

You have gotten good advice. My kids are far from sheltered and have been traveling to many places, including Disney, their entire lives. That being said, my youngest has adhd and definitely gets over stimulated easily. Breaks are a necessity and preferably before he gets too overwhelmed. Snacks and water also need to be easily accessible. Waiting in line is hard, but one thing he loves are the paper park maps I keep them in my bag and pull them out in line and he reads them over. The Peoplemover is a great way to relax in MK, although it does have that super dark part if any of your kiddos would be scared.

It sounds like you have reasonable expectations. I would have one goal for each day. One certain ride, character meet, special snack, etc. If you accomplish that goal, great! Everything else is the cherry on top. There is so much to see and do, but it’s not fun for anyone when the kids are miserable.