Another perfume vent

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

My thought is if I can suck it up someone else can too. If that makes me a bad person well I guess I am

The whole issue is she can't suck it up. Sucking perfume up would make things worse for her.

 

[Disneylover99]

My thought is if I can suck it up someone else can too. If that makes me a bad person well I guess I am

I think being able to put up with situations in your life can show strength of character and is admirable, but you can’t always expect others with different problems or challenges to do the same.

 

[Twilight Sparkle]

OP, I understand completely. I have asthma, too, and perfume and other strong scents affect my ability to breathe. Being around them is definitely detrimental to my wellbeing. Not being able to breathe, wondering if this is when your respiratory system just stops working entirely, is the worst.

 

[disykat]

Nobody wearing perfume assaults anyone by the mere act of wearing it and when you're using such inflammatory rhetoric, you shouldn't be surprised if someone takes that rather personally and becomes less receptive or outright hostile to your point of view because of it.

This was clearly labeled as a vent.

I agree that the terminology is inflammatory, however I do feel like I was assaulted. I am ill as the direct result of being across a room from someone. If they hit me, ran me over with a vehicle, etc. it would be assault. I made it very clear it was the distance and amount of perfume that is what made me consider it that. I used the term purposely because I feel like there comes a point when your actions, even if unintentional, do become assault when they hurt other people. I wanted to make it clear that this is no small annoyance for me, but a life and death one. I would not claim "assault" as a technical term in a court of law, but I do feel like I was assaulted. (Thus the use of "vent" in my title letting people know I was going to be sharing strong feelings) I had no ability to defend myself. I moved away the minute I figured out there was a toxicity issue, but the damage had been done and after 72 hours of breathing issues, very little sleep, and no way to know when I can get back to my life I wanted to vent.

The other poster claiming I would feel that way about anyone wearing any amount of perfume is clearly not reading my posts. One strong word I used about this particular incident doesn't change that.

 

[Planogirl]

I see this discussion about dogs being in public places too. It's a big problem.

I was always told that if anyone can smell your perfume or lotion when they're more than a few feet away, that you're using too much. I don't use any of it but some can smell nice. A little goes a long way though!

 

[AllyBri]

We were sitting next to a woman at the Kindani pool last summer and she must have had a heavy hand with the perfume spray. I was wondering why would someone wear that much frangrance to the pool?
Two different groups of people sat down at the table on the other side of her and left after 5;minutes.

 

[BadPinkTink]

honestly, if I want to wear perfume I will and if you have a problem with it, then you should takes steps to prevent yourself being affected. For many years I didnt have the money to buy expensive perfume and I worked in an industry where I was not allowed to wear it. Now that I can, I will.

Im not about to think, oh golly gosh, what if someone on the bus is allergic to perfume, I better not use any. Nope, Im going to use my perfume. Being allergic to perfume is YOUR problem, not mine!

 

[dclpluto]

There was a lady at work that people complained about for using too much perfume. They had a talk with her. Than we found out why she was using so much perfume. She stunk big time.

 

[disykat]

honestly, if I want to wear perfume I will and if you have a problem with it, then you should takes steps to prevent yourself being affected. For many years I didnt have the money to buy expensive perfume and I worked in an industry where I was not allowed to wear it. Now that I can, I will.

Im not about to think, oh golly gosh, what if someone on the bus is allergic to perfume, I better not use any. Nope, Im going to use my perfume. Being allergic to perfume is YOUR problem, not mine!

I guess this attitude shouldn't surprise me, but it really does. I don't understand why anyone wouldn't understand the difference between wearing fragrance that people with close contact with you like a hug or a close conversation might smell vs. the amount of fragrance it must take for people to be reacting (in any way) to it from across the room. Since it's been very clear that this post is about excessive perfume that reaches well beyond your personal space, I'm going to assume you wear a lot and truly want the entire bus to smell you. What steps would you think people can take to not be affected? To me, allergies are an issue (and are already being treated every way medically possible) and thus excessive perfume can be a huge issue, but I'm sure there are other people who simply don't want to smell you from 50 feet away. It's obtrusive. I find it truly beyond comprehension that someone would WANT people to be able to smell them from far away.

You certainly have a right to do whatever you want. Maybe this thread will at least give you some idea of what many people around you are thinking if that is of interest to you.

 

[Disneylover99]

honestly, if I want to wear perfume I will and if you have a problem with it, then you should takes steps to prevent yourself being affected. For many years I didnt have the money to buy expensive perfume and I worked in an industry where I was not allowed to wear it. Now that I can, I will.

Im not about to think, oh golly gosh, what if someone on the bus is allergic to perfume, I better not use any. Nope, Im going to use my perfume. Being allergic to perfume is YOUR problem, not mine!

This line of thinking is obnoxious to me.

I would say there are probably very few people who are truly allergic to perfume, but I bet that most of the people on the bus sitting in your vicinity are probably bothered, annoyed or affected in some way by the smell of your perfume.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

You shouldn’t be able to smell anyone more that a foot away whether that be sweat, perfume, clothing fragrance etc... What’s the point of even wanting people to be able to smell you from father away?

 

[anniemae]

I think some people don't realize how potent perfume can be when they apply it, I have been around people who seemed like they bathed in it. I am not allergic, but I simply don't like strong scents. I don't like perfume, scented candles etc. They give me a headache. That said, I don't think there is much you can do, it's not like a peanut allergy, which everyone is aware that people are allergic to and can die from peanuts. Perfume allergy simply isn't on most peoples radar.

 

[Christine]

I am definitely bothered by some perfume. Some will make me feel as if I can't breathe, while others are just gross and distracting. There are some people who can "classily" wear a light scent and I'm okay. I had a coworker who would actually have her vocal chords kind of seize up when someone had heavy perfume on and she lost her voice. It's really kind of amazing to watch. We had to ban a few ladies and one gentleman from visiting our office for concerns about her reactions. These people were not "light" perfume wearers. They wore it to the point that they just STUNK and you knew they were coming because you smell them yards away.

I don't get the whole heavy-handed perfume use. There is nobody in the room who is enjoying it and and generally people are talking behind your back about how awful you smell. Guess there's no fixing obliviousness.

 

[dish rag]

honestly, if I want to wear perfume I will and if you have a problem with it, then you should takes steps to prevent yourself being affected. For many years I didnt have the money to buy expensive perfume and I worked in an industry where I was not allowed to wear it. Now that I can, I will.

Im not about to think, oh golly gosh, what if someone on the bus is allergic to perfume, I better not use any. Nope, Im going to use my perfume. Being allergic to perfume is YOUR problem, not mine!

Wow!!!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Perfume and oftentimes cologne sets off my allergies. It's typically worse in spring when my body is already reacting to pollen and whatnot. Scented lotion does not affect me though.

Growing up my mom whenever she would go out for the night and whatnot would give me a hug and a kiss and then in the garage right when she was leaving she'd put on perfume. Even nowadays if she'll be coming to my house she does not put on perfume. If I see her after work her perfume has faded enough to wear it's not affecting me much.

There's not much I can do honestly, even my sister-in-laws wear too much perfume sometimes and I just discretely move away from them though me sneezing isn't exactly discrete lol.

Oftentimes in public I have to cover my nose and mouth and if it's really bad I have to try and find somewhere away from the offending person (by that I mean the person cloaked in perfume). It's really bad when you can taste the perfume.

Some people do just put on too heavy and I have a feeling that setting off allergies is just one reaction people have to that. In enclosed spaces scents can be quite overwhelming. I have no idea why people put on that much perfume either.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

honestly, if I want to wear perfume I will and if you have a problem with it, then you should takes steps to prevent yourself being affected. For many years I didnt have the money to buy expensive perfume and I worked in an industry where I was not allowed to wear it. Now that I can, I will.

Im not about to think, oh golly gosh, what if someone on the bus is allergic to perfume, I better not use any. Nope, Im going to use my perfume. Being allergic to perfume is YOUR problem, not mine!

It's kinda funny that you interject "For many years I didnt have the money" as if the stranger next to you is thinking that.

IDK I finally have money to buy leggings galore..doesn't mean I'm going to at this stage in my life

But in all honesty I do take steps and by that I mean I take steps away from you...as far away from you as I can, because that's about the only thing I can do

I'm def. about personal responsibility and fully accept I'm in a world full of perfume wearers. Luckily I do not have as bad of a reaction as the OP and some others. I feel very fortunate about that honestly. But on the same token truly some people wear way too much perfume, just like cologne can be way too much too. I don't get why but alas it happens.

 

[Jennasis]

I should not be able to smell you (good or bad) if I am standing next to you. Period.

Dh wears aftershave to work and the only time I can smell him is when he kisses me goodbye in the morning (swooon!).

 

[LovesTimone]

I have allergies and asthma... certain ( not all) perfumes can really start an allergy or asthma attack as well as pollen, dust, mold, and a list of other things .... so living here in Florida its something that I fight daily......

I wear perfume very light fragrance or lightly scented lotions in very very light application ... Its those folks ( men and women) the over-sprayers... that have that cloud of fragrance that envelopes them and you can smell them from across the room, or there is a trail of fragrance that follows them as they walk or the scent lingers even after they have walked away...

So for me, I try to prepare myself when we travel which is often, head to the parks, or even just out shopping... I take a Benadryl before I ever leave the house, only one, I also have extra's in my little pill containers, as well as my inhaler, I find that if I prepare ahead of time... that things go much better for me, and I can enjoy whatever I am doing...

As far as travel, I am almost neurotic, I wipe off everything in the resort room, I have a food allergy as well so wipe off everything, not the fact that I think that its not clean, more to the point that the housekeeping or mousekeeping, might have been wearing a fragrance that does not agree with me, or that they might have been eating something with my allergen in it... DH checks out the any of the products that are for your use in the bathroom, to see what in them...

Air travel is were I really get neurotic... wipe down everything, as well I take a mask with me... a plane has a closed system so its better to be prepared, I have had to use the mask three or four times in the last few years... I also make sure to keep on schedule with the benadryl make things easy for me in the long run... and taking my other med's on time...

A few weeks ago I ran into the grocery store, and was walking down an aisle, and a lady passed me, and I started sneezing like crazy, I'm talking about uncontrolled sneezing, and gasping for air... I was trapped, the cloud of fragrance was so bad... luckily I had my jacket and I put it up over my nose and mouth... and flew down the rest of the aisle... luckily I had only a couple of things to grab... paid for my things, and out the door I went... so when I was putting my cart up, the lady with the perfume cloud, is putting up her cart... and looks at me and said, you should stay home if your sick, your spreading germs you should show some consideration for others....... I replied, I'm not sick, I have allergies, and that cloud of perfume you are wearing is what is making me sick, and you should show some consideration for others.. and a man walked by right about that time and started sneezing... It was a classic moment... I could not help it I started laughing... she stomped off...

At the dermatologist and asthma specialist... that I go to, It states on the door that NO - fragrances, or lotions with fragrance are allow... If you are wearing them you will not be seen, and will have to reschedule your appointment...

I understand that everyone has the right to wear or put on whatever they like... using some restraint is what I think most folks like me are asking for...not to stop, more like asking you to please limit the fragrance to your person and not a cloud of fragrance following you that envelops everything and everyone in its path...

 

[Ellie008]

DH has migraine issues and strong scents trigger a headache for him. He won't go in certain stores (think bath and body works) because of it. Generally it isn't a big deal, but we have had to swap seats in restaurants because of people who smell way too strongly. I don't understand why people do that either. I do not want to smell you. Period. You shouldn't need that much perfume/cologne/whatever, it is ridiculous.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I don't get how people can be so deliberately insensitive to others.