Anxiety

[Snowflakey]

Hello friends. Hoping some of you may be able to give some pointers on dealing with anxiety. This is for my DD. This all just started this summer. Well, I'm sure she has had it all her life but the anxiety attacks have started. She is 21. Out of the blue she is getting these episodes. Feel sick, hot, like she may pass out, worrying, etc. Happens at times when she is happy. It seems to go hand in hand when she starts to think about not feeling good (has a headache). She has seen her primary doctor who said it is anxiety and I agree.

She is in control as much as she can be. She knows it is her mind and that nothing can happen. However it still gets the best of her at times leaving her wiped out once it is done. She has had about 4 episodes - but I see her now worrying about things she never has. This morning she texted me saying "my legs are weak should I not go to work". She has never done this before and it breaks my heart.

I have no experience with this at all. I am her "safety" as we are very close. She has been in a relationship for almost 6 years now. They get along great however he is gone now for 3 months and I'm thinking this could be some of her anxiety - just not having him home.

I am in the process of making an appointment for her to speak to someone who specializes in anxiety.

I've talked about her breathing while an episode is happening. I guess is there anything else I can do or suggest? Someone suggested taking Natures Tonic - it dissolves under the tongue when you feel an attack coming on.

Thank you in advance for your suggestions!

 

[FutureDisneyEventPlanner]

i think you are on the right track. having her speak to a therapist or psychologist is a great idea.

something else that worked for me (22 y/o, have had depression and anxiety for a longgggg time) is positive visualization, which was something my therapist suggested. if you're feeling anxious, take yourself to a place where you are most happiest, where everything is wonderful. for me that's Disney World of course! so i just picture myself doing my favorite thing in Disney World and i begin to calm down. just a suggestion!

good luck, it will be okay!

 

[Snowflakey]

Thanks FutureDisneyEventPlanner It will be okay but wow I just want to make it all better for her. I like the positive visualization - I will talk to her about that.

 

[dish rag]

There are breathing exercises, yoga and so forth. This all can help. It sounds like your daughters mind is in the right place with knowing what's going on. That's the important thing. Just to have the confidence that she can and will get through the episode.

 

[adelaster]

Breathing helps a lot. Knowing your "triggers" so to speak.

Making sure you are getting nutrients, vitamins, and proper sleep is also important.

It sounds like Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) might help her too.

Hopefully you are able to get more insight from the professionals. Just be wary of shoving a pill at the problem if it runs deep. Best wishes, and thank you for caring for and understanding her!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Hello friends. Hoping some of you may be able to give some pointers on dealing with anxiety. This is for my DD. This all just started this summer. Well, I'm sure she has had it all her life but the anxiety attacks have started. She is 21. Out of the blue she is getting these episodes. Feel sick, hot, like she may pass out, worrying, etc. Happens at times when she is happy. It seems to go hand in hand when she starts to think about not feeling good (has a headache). She has seen her primary doctor who said it is anxiety and I agree.

She is in control as much as she can be. She knows it is her mind and that nothing can happen. However it still gets the best of her at times leaving her wiped out once it is done. She has had about 4 episodes - but I see her now worrying about things she never has. This morning she texted me saying "my legs are weak should I not go to work". She has never done this before and it breaks my heart.

I have no experience with this at all. I am her "safety" as we are very close. She has been in a relationship for almost 6 years now. They get along great however he is gone now for 3 months and I'm thinking this could be some of her anxiety - just not having him home.

I am in the process of making an appointment for her to speak to someone who specializes in anxiety.

I've talked about her breathing while an episode is happening. I guess is there anything else I can do or suggest? Someone suggested taking Natures Tonic - it dissolves under the tongue when you feel an attack coming on.

Thank you in advance for your suggestions!

Number 1 thing to do first is to get your dd a health screening with blood work. Include full lipid panel & thyroid function. Try and get b12 AND Vit D as well if you can. Argue your way for the tests if you have to. Do your homework to have a reason why she needs this and that test.

Any of the above things can cause anxiety if you can believe that. For example, that is one of the symptoms of thyroid troubles.

 

[Christine]

OP, I don't have any advice but I am reading this thread with interest because my DD started having similar issues around the same age. I think she was in her junior year of college when it started. Now, I can say this: out of my two children, she *never* displayed/experienced anxiety growing up. I have it and I was so pleased that she did not (my son is a different story).

So, out of the blue, she started getting these symptoms when she was getting ready to go out for the evening with her friends. She wanted to go, was all excited, looking forward to it, etc. and then her heart would start pounding, she'd feel woozy, she'd get intestinal issues, etc. And it would ruin her evening. Then it would pass and she was fine. Sometimes it would pass in an hour, sometimes not at all.

She did end up going to a therapist/psych for it and they started treatment with propranolol (Inderal) which is often given to performers for stage fright. It doesn't do anything to the thoughts (which my daughter claimed not to have any negative thoughts), but it would blunt/suppress the physical reactions and hopefully get her through it. It seemed to help for awhile and she was okay for a bit, but then it has come back and she's been dealing with it for about 2 years now (she is 26 now). Honestly, no one really knows how to stop it and she does see someone. Her doctor thinks it is just a physical overreaction to adrenaline in her system. She does fine in job interviews and things that would make most people nervous, but if she has to go to a party or a concert or a wedding...anything like that...she has this issue and it's quite debilitating. I think she's sort of lost two boyfriends over it.

 

[Snowflakey]

OP, I don't have any advice but I am reading this thread with interest because my DD started having similar issues around the same age. I think she was in her junior year of college when it started. Now, I can say this: out of my two children, she *never* displayed/experienced anxiety growing up. I have it and I was so pleased that she did not (my son is a different story).

So, out of the blue, she started getting these symptoms when she was getting ready to go out for the evening with her friends. She wanted to go, was all excited, looking forward to it, etc. and then her heart would start pounding, she'd feel woozy, she'd get intestinal issues, etc. And it would ruin her evening. Then it would pass and she was fine. Sometimes it would pass in an hour, sometimes not at all.

She did end up going to a therapist/psych for it and they started treatment with propranolol (Inderal) which is often given to performers for stage fright. It doesn't do anything to the thoughts (which my daughter claimed not to have any negative thoughts), but it would blunt/suppress the physical reactions and hopefully get her through it. It seemed to help for awhile and she was okay for a bit, but then it has come back and she's been dealing with it for about 2 years now (she is 26 now). Honestly, no one really knows how to stop it and she does see someone. Her doctor thinks it is just a physical overreaction to adrenaline in her system. She does fine in job interviews and things that would make most people nervous, but if she has to go to a party or a concert or a wedding...anything like that...she has this issue and it's quite debilitating. I think she's sort of lost two boyfriends over it.

I'm so sorry to hear about your DD. Honestly I'm a bit worried about her boyfriend too. Like I said he has been with her for almost 6 years and just now this anxiety starts up. Not sure if he is going to understand - but time will tell. My DD doesn't do a lot of going out with people. Its mostly her and her boyfriend. She did go out last Friday with her cousin and got the symptoms before she went. She's a strong girl and can really hold her own and doesn't take any "crap" so all of this is just blowing me away.

 

[Snowflakey]

Breathing helps a lot. Knowing your "triggers" so to speak.

Making sure you are getting nutrients, vitamins, and proper sleep is also important.

It sounds like Dialectial Behavior Therapy (DBT) might help her too.

Hopefully you are able to get more insight from the professionals. Just be wary of shoving a pill at the problem if it runs deep. Best wishes, and thank you for caring for and understanding her!

Just started her on a multivitamin because she is a picky eater. She gets great sleep - 8+ hours a night. I don't want her to take any pill for this. I want her to learn how to manage/beat/understand and work through it.

 

[Shutterbug]

Just started her on a multivitamin because she is a picky eater. She gets great sleep - 8+ hours a night. I don't want her to take any pill for this. I want her to learn how to manage/beat/understand and work through it.

Yes docs so easily prescribe a drug and those drugs can have awful side effects and addiction. Definitely go with finding a therapist that will teach coping skills and someone to talk with. I have also found exercising helps. Even it's going out for a hike.

 

[Wendy31]

I have anxiety and panic attacks.

I also have a huge, huge doctor/hospital phobia, so I haven't been able to go to a doctor.

I think it is important to learn what your triggers are. For me, I can't drink a lot of coffee - like maybe one cup every 2-3 days is my limit. I can't have coffee every day because too much coffee, I've learned, makes me jittery & nervous/anxious & causes my heart to race & jump. Ditto w/ energy drinks - I can't drink energy drinks at all!

And I've noticed that my anxiety increases in relation to my hormones.

W/ your DD, a good bit of her recent anxiety may well be because her boyfriend is out of town. For me, I need a "constant" - and it's my DH. I feel un-grounded when he's away or working lots of overtime, & it ramps up my anxiety. He's understanding & supportive & patient. However, lots of time when I may feel anxious or panicky & can't pinpoint an exact reason, he wants to try to "fix" things for me when there's nothing really to fix, if that makes sense. But he's also my safe place.

And, speaking of grounding, one thing I've learned is when I'm having a really bad anxiety or panic attack, I need to physically ground myself - look around & find 5 things I can see, 4 things I can touch, 3 things I can hear, 2 things I can smell...

I also have a salt lamp in our bedroom & use lavender essential oils a lot. I need lots of sunlight & natural daylight. Walking outside is therapy for me. Noisy, chaotic environments also bother me, so I try really hard to make our home peaceful & soothing.

Anxiety is awful, & I so wish I could just turn it off. I know your DD doesn't want to be anxious either. There's not always a quick fix though. I think the best things you can give her are encouragement & support & acknowledgment.

 

[smiths02]

This is worth a shot when an attack is coming on
http://www.therapistsb.com/blog/post/5-4-3-2-1-coping-technique

 

[gillep]

I am sorry about your daughter. I started experiencing anxiety a few years ago (around the time DH ramped up his work travels). Eventually, I decided that I needed to talk to someone about it. I found a good cognitive behavioral therapist, who was great at challenging me and helping me work through some issues. I am extremely analytical, so at first, the CBT exercises seemed really silly, they still do, but they also helped me approach the anxiety in an analytical manner, which was great for how my brain works. We also did some deep breathing and visualizations which were helpful as well. I went on psych central's website and read dozens upon dozens of profiles for therapists and emailed a few, and had first appointments with a couple, until I found someone that I thought I clicked with, and would be challenging enough that I would get something out of our meetings. Good luck and hugs to you both.

 

[Tattylou]

I am a counselor/therapist. I definitely think getting her an appt with a professional is the way to go so she can identify triggers, learn coping skills, etc. @Wendy31 has a useful suggestion with grounding herself during a panic attack by focusing on items around her. A daily relaxation practice is more effective than someone just trying to relax/breath while they are in a panic state. If they do a relaxation/breathing exercise daily and are familiar with it then they will respond better to using those breathing techniques in an anxiety situation. I think finding a therapist with training in CBT and mindfulness would be helpful. Mindfulness training is a great tool to use for anxiety management.

 

[tamerbelles]

Yes docs so easily prescribe a drug and those drugs can have awful side effects and addiction. Definitely go with finding a therapist that will teach coping skills and someone to talk with. I have also found exercising helps. Even it's going out for a hike.

"Those drugs" can also be really helpful. You have to find the right kind and dosage for you! I used to be afraid of taking medication for my anxiety, so I did everything I could to treat it on my own - supplements, therapy, exercise, meditation, etc. But I finally started Lexapro and can't believe I waited so long! I don't have any side effects. I'd say my medication and regular exercise are the two things that help me the most.

OP some advice: As you're looking for options for your daughter, remember that the first doctor/therapist she talks to may not be the right one. It really helps to find someone you click with and who makes it easy to be open and honest. Don't be afraid to try a couple of therapists if she's not comfortable after a few visits.

 

[Snowflakey]

I am a counselor/therapist. I definitely think getting her an appt with a professional is the way to go so she can identify triggers, learn coping skills, etc. @Wendy31 has a useful suggestion with grounding herself during a panic attack by focusing on items around her. A daily relaxation practice is more effective than someone just trying to relax/breath while they are in a panic state. If they do a relaxation/breathing exercise daily and are familiar with it then they will respond better to using those breathing techniques in an anxiety situation. I think finding a therapist with training in CBT and mindfulness would be helpful. Mindfulness training is a great tool to use for anxiety management.

Thank you for this help!

 

[Snowflakey]

"Those drugs" can also be really helpful. You have to find the right kind and dosage for you! I used to be afraid of taking medication for my anxiety, so I did everything I could to treat it on my own - supplements, therapy, exercise, meditation, etc. But I finally started Lexapro and can't believe I waited so long! I don't have any side effects. I'd say my medication and regular exercise are the two things that help me the most.

OP some advice: As you're looking for options for your daughter, remember that the first doctor/therapist she talks to may not be the right one. It really helps to find someone you click with and who makes it easy to be open and honest. Don't be afraid to try a couple of therapists if she's not comfortable after a few visits.

Thanks! Believe me, my DD won't stay with someone she isn't comfortable with. That I don't worry about.

And please don't think I'm against any drugs. Since this all just started I'm hoping we may be able to get ahead of it and instead learn to work through it without any meds.

 

[Snowflakey]

I have anxiety and panic attacks.

I also have a huge, huge doctor/hospital phobia, so I haven't been able to go to a doctor.

I think it is important to learn what your triggers are. For me, I can't drink a lot of coffee - like maybe one cup every 2-3 days is my limit. I can't have coffee every day because too much coffee, I've learned, makes me jittery & nervous/anxious & causes my heart to race & jump. Ditto w/ energy drinks - I can't drink energy drinks at all!

And I've noticed that my anxiety increases in relation to my hormones.

W/ your DD, a good bit of her recent anxiety may well be because her boyfriend is out of town. For me, I need a "constant" - and it's my DH. I feel un-grounded when he's away or working lots of overtime, & it ramps up my anxiety. He's understanding & supportive & patient. However, lots of time when I may feel anxious or panicky & can't pinpoint an exact reason, he wants to try to "fix" things for me when there's nothing really to fix, if that makes sense. But he's also my safe place.

And, speaking of grounding, one thing I've learned is when I'm having a really bad anxiety or panic attack, I need to physically ground myself - look around & find 5 things I can see, 4 things I can touch, 3 things I can hear, 2 things I can smell...

I also have a salt lamp in our bedroom & use lavender essential oils a lot. I need lots of sunlight & natural daylight. Walking outside is therapy for me. Noisy, chaotic environments also bother me, so I try really hard to make our home peaceful & soothing.

Anxiety is awful, & I so wish I could just turn it off. I know your DD doesn't want to be anxious either. There's not always a quick fix though. I think the best things you can give her are encouragement & support & acknowledgment.

I really think you hit the nail on the head with this. He grounds her.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Number 1 thing to do first is to get your dd a health screening with blood work. Include full lipid panel & thyroid function. Try and get b12 AND Vit D as well if you can. Argue your way for the tests if you have to. Do your homework to have a reason why she needs this and that test.

Any of the above things can cause anxiety if you can believe that. For example, that is one of the symptoms of thyroid troubles.

Yes, absolutely this. Check first for an underlying medical cause. Magnesium deficiency is another common reason one may suffer anxiety and panic attacks as well as, in my case, a hormone imbalance. Does your daughter have clear anxiety triggers? Because I didn't. I was either in a state of severe anxiety (along with a multitude of other physical symptoms, and the episodes lasted for days at a time) or I wasn't, and external factors had no bearing on that. No amount of positive thinking and breathing exercises is going to help when the problem is in your body (hormone levels, vitamin deficiency, etc.) and not your head. Rule out medical causes first, especially since it sounds like this came on rather suddenly.

ETA: As I just learned, you can go to any Labcorp/Quest Diagnostics type place and have any and every type of bloodwork done that you request without a doctor's referral as long as you're willing to pay OOP. I wish I had known this years ago when my health problems were at their worst. It would've saved me a lot of aggravation of having to plead with my doctor to get him to order certain types of bloodwork when he was already convinced my problems were just in my head.

 

[Kay123456]

Yup I can relate to all the wierd feelings (legs not wanting to work right), etc and all the other symptoms. i can be totally looking forward to something and it’ll still happen. Thats because good stress, is still stress. Thats why I am so better at last minute plans. If I dont know its coming, I dont have time to stress over it, and I prefer it that way as well.

I agree she needs a really good workup done. Labs, ekg, maybe even a ct of her brain to put her mind at ease. Once she realizes nothing is wrong with her body, she may be mentally more accepting.

Mine also gets worse around hormones. I had my first real attack when I was pregnant. Pregnancy did not suit me well. Afterwards, I could basically mark on a calendar because it would happen for a few days 7 days before my monthly. It still does honestly.

For my initial attacks, I ended up on lexapro. Mind you there was other personal stuff going on that attributed, but it did help immensely. And not just in the short term. It helped me be able to think in a different more rational manner. I still have that ability even though I don’t take it any longer. Getting through the initial side effects of those drugs is difficult though, and was easier for me starting at a very low dose and slowly tapering up to a good level. Im sure her boyfriend being away so much does not help anything.

Short term drugs only made things worse for me simply because the anxiety would abate then a few hours later coming rushing back full force.

Its a very difficult thing to deal with even when you have a healthy grasp on it. Initially she may not be able to and she may need help. There is nothing wrong with that. I highly suggest a good psychiatrist who is going to assess her thoroughly to determine the cause (after she has been thoroughly checked by a regular MD). I had to do hundreds of questions on a questionaire so the pysch could determine where it was coming from. Depression can cause anxiety and anxiety can cause depression. There are different meds for both so its important to find the root of the matter. Have her hormones checked, have her cortisol and thyroid checked. Get her a pregnancy test because who knows! Clear her of any possible medical issues and go from there. Sometimes when I am having a bad day, I will go on to an anxiety forum and read other peoples posts and it helps put my mind at ease as well. When you are going through it, its very hard to remember that its only temporary. Bad ones will knock me off my feet for a whole day. They are physically exhausting.