Anyone else here NOT in the holiday spirit?

[design_mom]

I feel you, too. My problems seem small compared to what some of you are facing (my thoughts are with all of you). This is also the first year that I haven't sent out Christmas cards. And it's not because I made a conscious decision not to... it just didn't happen. I have 15 years of photo cards with the kid(s) in front of the tree, but not this year.

The shopping is done, the gifts are wrapped, and I have some cookies baked... so from the outside, I'm sure everything looks fine. But I am not excited about the gifts (and would have liked to have gotten a few people a lump of coal instead!), and I haven't baked nearly the amount of cookies I normally do. I'm just not feeling it this year. I know I'm mixing my literary references, but I feel like a Grinch this year. Bah-humbug.

 

[mom2rtk]

Not really feeling it this year.

 

[AquamarineSteph]

Dear OP and others feeling sad this holiday season,

The holidays can be terrible if we try to force something when we don't feel like it. What I have found useful is to give myself permission not to celebrate in a previously traditional manner, so to speak. So I'm not cooking a dozen courses. The decorations leave a lot to be desired. It's okay. The important thing is to hold onto the people around us who need us, who care for us. Even when we can't do that the way we're used to doing it - it still counts.

That probably sounds lame, and I know your circumstances are completely different from mine or anyone else's. But for what it's worth, people are thinking of you this holiday season. And that's a great deal more than many people have to look forward to.

 

[mrsheppo]

I haven't really been into it the last 2 years now. Last year my DDIL was diagnosed with cancer and we had been stressing over her condition and just not in the holiday spirit not knowing if the chemo treatments she was receiving were going to work. This year she received a stem cell transplant and is due to have her PET scan done on the 29th to see if she is cancer free. Also, we have family drama that is just never ending and the stress of being drug into it is causing me headaches. We are having our big family dinner tonight and hopefully then DH, DD & I can celebrate quietly on Christmas Day. I'm at the point in my life I'm ready just to say to heck with all the drama and go away for Christmas.

 

[Kitty 34]

It's a new MS treatment I'm trying. It's going to kill my immune system and, in theory, the new one that grows will be healthy. I'm looking forward to it and scared to death of it at the same time..

Good luck with it.

 

[lorimay]

No, not in the spirit at all...... pretty m much a shut in with a broken foot, they did surgery and put in screws so I can only walk on my heel, so uncomfortable.
I have not been to a store, My husband got gift cards at Costco for everyone. The only presents we got was for our grandkids, thankfully I did that before the broken foot.

I am pushing myself to go to my sister's on Christmas Eve because my parents are elderly and I need to spend the time with them.
My younger sister is doing Christmas Day I will again convince myself to go.
New Years Eve home with hubby and Chinese Food.

 

[FINFAN]

Definitely not feeling it. Then there's my inlaws who insist on a Christmas Day get together. Ugh

my IL's too...11 am Christmas morning. Every year I tell DH (who's company closes EVERY Christmas week that we are getting the heck outta dodge. Every year he finds an excuse..and his mom is still alive at 90 so I get wanting to be there for her, but there are 4 other siblings who can travel in(who have the good fortune of living elsewhere) next year and cover the base. I'm outta here one way or the other next Christmas.

 

[prprincess]

I am not feeling it either. My husband's aunt passed away the week of Thanksgiving, and then my own aunt last week. So I have been in a a funk since November. I'm doing my best because my children, but I have to admit that I'm super excited that so far we have no plans for New Year's Eve. I just want to lay in bed and watch the Twilight Zone marathon on SyFy!

 

[Planogirl]

I am still in the hospital struggling with walking so I don't feel much spirit. I'm trying though.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

I am not sure how i feel this Christmas. I told my extended family that I am not hosting Christmas Day dinner this year. First time in about 14 years I am not doing it. I am at odds with my oldest sister and her kids since my father passed away at the end of July. I decided that I wasn't going to host a meal for them when they don't appreciate it. I told my own family (dh & kids) we are going out to dinner and to a movie on Christmas Day instead. They are fine with it but I feel lost - like I need to have that meal cooked as its part of the routine - baking, cooking, cleaning etc. I keep telling myself it will be fine - we will get through it and my family will be happy to not have the drama of my extended family and I will too. Its just different this year without my dad and no real dinner on Christmas.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

I am still in the hospital struggling with walking so I don't feel much spirit. I'm trying though.

Hang in there Planogirl and I hope that you can walk soon and bust out of the hospital for Christmas

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

I'm so-so this year. I think that if we weren't going away the 26th for 5 days, I would be worse. I'm just counting down the days until I have 5 days of no cooking or cleaning or baby crying (I had forgotten how grating it can be sometimes...)

I haven't done a real tree in 2 years. Nor have I put out all my Christmas decor. Same as last year, it's a little fake tree with no ornaments. Last year was because I just didn't care; the last 7 years of medical stuff (DH) just hit...I was worn out trying to keep things going for 7 years, and after the transplant (and the majority of the medical stuff over with), it all finally hit. I went through all the motions of shopping, but I didn't bake, not one single thing. I didn't cook; we ate Chinese food (my favorite tradition of the last 10 years!) and opened presents Christmas Eve.

This year, I'm not decorating because of the baby and cats. I have zero room for a tree with grandson's stuff (and DD#2's) all over my house. I'm not doing major cooking either. I got a turkey from Honeybaked Ham store (and only reason we have that is because DH got a GC from work for turkey day), and I'm making the fixings to go with it, including pies (but frozen, not homemade). There is the small tree we got for DS's room a few years ago (same one I "put up" last year), that's about 2 feet tall with lights, and that's all. I kinda feel bad it's not all Christmas-y for GS's first holiday, but he doesn't care about those things anyway, and I don't feel like pulling everything out and putting it back away...and being constantly worried that he's going to climb the bookshelves to get to the pretties or eat the light cords.

I did send out Christmas postcards (handcolored) this year, but only because I'm doing the coloring as therapy for my hands. Otherwise, it's been 5+ years since I sent any out except to my girls.

It's perfectly fine to not do the "traditional" things. Sometimes (like with my Chinese leftovers on Christmas Day, no more being stuck in the kitchen while the kids play with their toys) you might find you like the "non-traditional" things better.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

my IL's too...11 am Christmas morning. Every year I tell DH (who's company closes EVERY Christmas week that we are getting the heck outta dodge. Every year he finds an excuse..and his mom is still alive at 90 so I get wanting to be there for her, but there are 4 other siblings who can travel in(who have the good fortune of living elsewhere) next year and cover the base. I'm outta here one way or the other next Christmas.

So with you! We close & DW works for the school, so every year we toy with the idea of leaving & we never do

 

[FatOldHillbillie]

i am really struggling to get through this week.

My father has been in and out of the hospital the past month. He is being transferred to rehab today, and we don't know if he will be able to leave the facility to celebrate Christmas with us. I was really sick the first week of December which put me behind on shopping, wrapping, etc. I'm also having some ongoing health problems right now. This is the first year ever I will skip sending out Christmas cards.

The main problem I'm having is that I host Christmas Eve every year and really don't want to this year. I forgot to call in the catering place I use and when I called, they no longer have availability. I just really want to cancel but my family (mom, brother, my kids, etc) would be furious. I will just be happy when Monday is here.

Anyone else feeling the same?

for me I can very easily go into a frump or I can embrace the spirit, as can you. Its not about preparations or presents. Its about your attitude. At my age I get up with pain each morning from 1 thing or another. I could decide that the pain is intolerable and roll back over and stay in bed, or, as I do, I decide that I will not let something deter me from living my life for what little time I have on this planet. I hope that helps, but it really is about your attitude.

 

[mickeyboat]

I don't have any good reason for it, but I am having trouble getting into the spirit this year, too. We don't celebrate with friends or family, so it is just the four of us. Maybe it is because the kids are older and I miss doing the Santa thing. I enjoy ordering Chinese food on Christmas Eve and staying home in my pjs on Christmas Day, but I feel a lot of pressure to make Christmas special for my teens, so much so that DH and I don't get each other gifts any more because we just buy what we want and we would rather spend the money on the girls. DH does not help with the preparations at all - except he does the cooking on Christmas Day, which I really appreciate. I miss celebrating the Holidays with extended loved ones. I am also having some dental pain and I can't get an appointment with my dentist until the third week of January I am on vacation the week between Christmas and New Years, and I am planning to have a fun time with my kids, then!

Hugs to all. Merry Christmas!

 

[Sweetpancake]

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. I would think most people would be understanding if you didn't host Christmas Eve this year or maybe did something super low key. Maybe order in some food? Don't bother cooking. I know a lot of people have very set expectations when it comes to the holidays, but sometimes we have to be flexible. As long as you're spending time together, I think that's all that matters.

 

[dyna]

NOPE but then it not really anything that new for me yet it is. My 85 yr old Mother has cancer an thus far not able to tolerate chemo treatments, she is now in rehab till at least mid Jan an she is not happy about it. I'm the only sibling left in family I live 1,000 miles away. I'm sure she wouldn't be happy with me right now if I was there as I agree rehab is the place for her for now.
dH has been sick since Thanksgiving an illness that he's had for yrs has flair up big time because he was to stubborn to go to DR for new med when insurance stopped paying for currant med. He hasn't hardly been able to leave house since Thanksgiving he can't get far from bathroom. DH does have med now but it hasn't started working yet not sure if it ever will.
Gson has gone mental again an will be spending Christmas in the hospital. We are waiting for residential care for him that won't happen before Feb or March till there is an opening there. He will be returning home n the meantime.
I'm feeling guilty about not being home for Christmas this year I have a feeling it will be mother's last. DH does not allow me to travel by myself NO WAY he can make it 1,000 miles ( he's been to the bathroom twice since he started eating supper)
The cookies I made right after Thanksgiving are the only cookies I've made DH doesn't want me to make anymore, he knows we really do not need them an really aren't supposed to eat them, least it would give m something to do. The oysters are ready to be fried for Christmas supper. Cards are mailed.

Anxiety an bored just not a good mix...

 

[MataHari22]

Christmas is always a struggle for me each year, but this year I'm especially not feeling it. My health has really not been good at all lately and I was actually in the hospital about three weeks ago and I'm still really feeling poorly. I didn't finish doing my Christmas shopping and I'm probably not going to. honestly I just don't even care this year. I just really don't feel well enough to care.

 

[superme80]

I am so sorry to those struggling and those who have lost loved ones.

 

[Rylee]

One of my closest friends was moved to a Hospice House one week ago today. (She thought it was too hard for her teenage son to watch her die at home.) She's 55 years old and was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer in Aug. We are heartbroken. I was taking care of her one day a week up until Thanksgiving but she wants people to remember her the way she was so is no longer allowing visitors other than her immediate family. I respect her wishes.

My mother passed away 5 years ago Thanksgiving week. A time that used to bring excitement and kick off the holiday season is now filled with sad memories and a certain degree of depression sets in.

DH's mother died Dec. 26, 2000.

DH's sisters have always caused stress, drama and chaos at Christmas time and manage to suck all the joy from the season.

On the other hand, we have 5 beautiful children and 2 grandchildren, including a new granddaughter celebrating her first Christmas, to be grateful for and who bring us much happiness.

I am emotionally and physically exhausted during the holiday season but if I focus on my children, I can get through it.

I am also working really hard on learning to let go of needing to have everything be perfect.

With the loss of loved ones associated with the holidays, there will forever be a general sadness around us but I know there will be moments of joy, too.