Anyone have any courage to share?

[Deparfea]

In just a few days, I have a big social event to go to which brings me to tears at the very thought of it. Without getting into all the details, some of the people who will be there have been told terrible, incorrect things about me, and as a result, they don't see me in a positive light anymore. There has been conflict between me and another person, and this other person has chosen to blab THEIR SIDE of the story to other people, while I have not. I figured it would be better to keep the issues between us and not bring others into it. Sadly, this has put me at a huge disadvantage and a very uncomfortable situation.

It is important to some people that I do attend this social event, which is the only reason I am going. My question for all of you is how do I get me some courage??? I strongly believe my best plan of action is to go in there and smile, be friendly, and show people through my actions that I'm not the terrible person they've been told. However, I just don't feel that courageous right now. The person I'm in conflict with has been known to be inappropriate in public, and I don't know if I'll be strong enough to just ignore. Plus, the very thought of people who used to be kind towards me suddenly not being kind due to comments from this one person, makes me feel literally sick. Defending myself by talking to everyone before the event simply isn't possible.

Any ideas on how to get more courageous in the next little while? Any relaxation technique? Thanks for any help or encouragement.

 

[jamiesmom07]

First off...

I don't know what your religious views are, but if it was me I would ask God for strength, it sounds like you need it.

Good Luck!

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

For relaxation, try deep breathing or mantra meditation. Try having a quick chat with a few of your friends beforehand so they can remind you that you are a good and likable person. Then get dolled up, walk in there with confidence and a smile, and find someone you know is on your side. Try to avoid the troublemaker, but if you can't, be the bigger person. It's the best way to prove them wrong. Good luck!

 

[Mackey Mouse]

These are my quick thoughts this morning.... First, I would walk into that event holding my head high...speaking to those who speak to me or who I choose to speak to, and smiling. If this person has an outburst and you do not get into the sandbox with him/her, it will speak volumes about courage... social events are not the place to air your dirty laundry and if they do, I would think they would look inappropriate and you will be the bigger person by not getting into it..

Courage is a word that I use a lot lately... I feel sometimes that I am so strong that I amaze myself... I look at myself in the mirror each day and think I will go forward with my life with grace and dignity... that is all I can think of right now.. Hold your head high.

 

[Deparfea]

Thank you, everyone. I'm trying to figure it out and your advice is invaluable. I will try to hold my head high. I just worry about not being able to control any of my unwanted tears. I plan to just walk away if such a thing happens, but I really want to be strong and just keep smiling. Thanks again.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Practice mindfulness and have something pleasant ready in your mind to "switch to" if you become upset.

In my experience, most people know who the real jerk is in situations like these, FWIW. But because we personalize it so much, we think everyone's thinking something else that may or may not be true. If the person your worried about is that bad, chances are others have either been on the receiving end as well and know what's really going on, or at the very least have witnessed this person's venom spewing, etc.

Be careful about bringing yourself down to the other person's level in defending yourself. Just be a class act when you go in.

Good luck.

 

[Deesknee]

I agree most people know who the drama queens/gossip queens are. And the fact of the matter is most don't trust them, afraid they may turn on that at any moment. If you feel insecure, I would suggest this, be very careful not to consume too much alcohol. Surely you will either end up in tears, or say something you may wish you didn't. Also, I have found a very helpful expression to get me away from what would otherwise be an arguement, I simply say... "I'm sorry you feel that way". It is very different than " I am sorry" I may very well not be sorry for what they are accusing me of, but am most definately sorry they feel so angry/betrayed/jealous/hurt ...whatever.
The person you are going for will be happy you are there, I'm sure. He/She must be very important to you for you to put yourself out there like this. Just remember how important that person is to you. And, I have to admit when going into something I am so insecure about, I always pray...
God grant me the serenity to:
Accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Good Luck and let us know how it goes.