Anyone navigating differing family expectations re: quarantining, milestone events?

[mommasita]

Where do you live that there's no motorcycle helmet law?

I see this in Florida A LOT

 

[donac]

I have been to the grocery store a few times. Dh has been to the hardware store a few times because he is keeping busy doing some things around the house. I do spend Thursday night and Friday with my mother. She has had some health problems and someone needs to be with her. She is not letting anyone in except my sisters who are all working from home and not going anywhere else.

We have not really seen my sons, their wives and our granddaughter. We did see our older son on his birthday because we dropped off a card, a present and some balloons. We put them on his porch and then went back in the car when he came out to get them.

The worse part of this is that our grandson was born today. I really don't know when we are going to be able to hold him. At least we got to see some pictures right away.

 

[ronandannette]

I see this in Florida A LOT

I know people do it, probably everywhere, but I assume they're defying the law. I read the PP to imply there was no law against it where (s)he is.

 

[mommasita]

I know people do it, probably everywhere, but I assume they're defying the law. I read the PP to imply there was no law against it where (s)he is.

I see. I think there are a few states with no such law, we shall see what they come back and say. I did this once at 17, my Mother found out and wanted to skin me alive.

 

[wenrob]

I know people do it, probably everywhere, but I assume they're defying the law. I read the PP to imply there was no law against it where (s)he is.

There are three states that have no helmet laws at all and only 19 where everyone must wear a helmet. The rest vary with most of them being required for kids under 18-21. We were absolutely stunned when driving through Utah and seeing people without helmets. They are required here but you see a fair bit of riders using the “bucket” type. Basically enough to be following the law.
https://www.rideapart.com/articles/337084/mandatory-helmet-laws-across-us/

 

[texaslover]

Our stay at home order was lifted. I was home with only grocery visits every other week from March 13 until this weekend. Saturday I went to a friend's house and went into the pool with my 3 best friends. We didn't touch, just talked from across the pool and entered/exited from the gate (no one inside the home). Sunday I went and saw my mom for the first time, again my brother, sis in law, nephew, me and my 22 year old son entered and exited through her gate and sat outside apart. No touching. My brother did bring take out chicken and sides and we used paper products and all served ourselves.

My 22 year old son came home from college when his internships fell through and has been respectful about not seeing his friends. But he is about to start delivering DoorDash bc it's the only job he can get and I am fine with that. He will wear a mask when needed and wash clothes and hands when he comes home.

Also, I'm a teacher and I'm required to be at the school several times a week going forward to help gather kid's supplies, organize books, check in technology, and close up the building. Even with a mask and gloves the student exchange where every family drives up to get their stuff and drop off materials will expose me to more than very small get togethers with family and friends and social distancing.

I read on local forums and Facebook pages that I'm endangering every elderly citizen and am selfish and foolhardy. So I guess my family/friends expectations are in line but community's certainly are not.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Where do you live that there's no motorcycle helmet law?

A lot of states really when you consider the age limit. Heck the state next to me recently (I think in the last year or two) tried to repeal their helmet law which actually states everyone has to wear it. The repeal didn't pass though. My state is under 18 has to wear one but 18 and older do not.

This list is from the IIHS (Insurance Institute for Highway Safety)-HLDI (Highway Loss Data Institute) and gives an idea on the nuiances of the law. There are things like mopeds, motorized bikes, cc's, etc listed as well: https://www.iihs.org/topics/motorcycles/motorcycle-helmet-laws-table

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

For the original topic yes there are some variances between our family members that we're trying to work with. At the moment I'm the strictest of them all. Discussing with my husband he's at the point of wanting to loosen up some things.

Basic things such as hand washing, using hand sanitizer and wearing masks (when required) are the same. It's the sharing of the food,keeping exactly 6ft or more apart (he's more like "we don't need a tape measurer honey") we're not quite on the same page about. We share the same decision of keeping visitations (with social distancing still there) outside rather than letting people inside our home though.

His family is more lax and that concerns me to a degree. My mother-in-law is all about saying "yes I agree about wearing a mask inside buildings" yet she also isn't good about keeping distance as much and doesn't have a problem sharing food, def. hugs one of her daughters whom we all consider to have the riskiest behavors, etc. I don't mind being around my mother-in-law but only when it's her, her husband and the other sister-in-law. When it's like that I feel the tendency will be more to keep up social distancing and less falling back on old habits.

My mom is ok with the social distancing (and she wears her mask everytime she's in a store which is more than my husband and I do) but also thinks it's a bit silly that no one is allowed in my house still. Eventually we'll get there but I'm not yet comfortable with that just quite yet.

 

[ronandannette]

There are three states that have no helmet laws at all and only 19 where everyone must wear a helmet. The rest vary with most of them being required for kids under 18-21. We were absolutely stunned when driving through Utah and seeing people without helmets. They are required here but you see a fair bit of riders using the “bucket” type. Basically enough to be following the law.
https://www.rideapart.com/articles/337084/mandatory-helmet-laws-across-us/

Gotta say, it just sounds crazy. Are there places where seatbelts are optional and you can talk or text while driving too?

 

[1GoldenSun]

We're still keeping to ourselves and so are our friends and family. My dad mentioned coming for a visit when "this is all over," and my mother-in-law says she wants us to get together "just as soon as it's safe," but no one is trying to rush anything. Lots of texting and WhatsApping and waving at/chatting with neighbors from afar. The kids "play" with their friends online.

I'm not in a hurry to get out at all until we see how we fare as things become more relaxed. I'm just fine at home and will let others be the guinea pigs!

 

[wenrob]

Gotta say, it just sounds crazy. Are there places where seatbelts are optional and you can talk or text while driving too?

I don’t think so but I think in some places you’re not required to have seatbelts in Classic cars that didn’t originally have them.

I agree, not wearing a helmet is nuts.

 

[elphaba91]

Our extended family is spread out pretty far, so the issue hasn't really arisen. My aunt is living at her beach house, a bit over an hour away, her daughter lives in another state (and the closest airport to her is in another state again which has closed its borders) and her son and his family are in Uganda. My uncle is out from London at his beach house and his wife, son and grandson are in the UK. I believe my aunt and uncle have seen each other a couple of times, but kept their distance, and both live alone and haven't seen anyone else. As of today we are allowed to have up to 5 guests over, but think we will leave things another few weeks, mainly because my mum works in pharmacy and both her siblings are in their 70s so we don't want to put them at unnecessary risk.

 

[Kestryl]

We- that is, my husband and I- are more socially distanced relative to our families, but that’s because of distance. So my parents and sister are still seeing my grandmothers and a few of their siblings (but not the nurse or ones who keep traveling), and his parents have seen their kids and siblings, but we haven’t seen anyone because we live 8 hours away.

I have gotten many hints and comments that they would like to visit us, but my work is being pretty strict- two week quarantine for leaving the area or having anyone visit from outside. I’m actually a bit angry over the policy- I get it, but under the way it’s written, we can visit anywhere freely within the area, including a major tourist destination that’s re-opening. So I can go be around hundreds (if not thousands) of people from who knows where, but I can’t see my parents because they live in a different state.

 

[tzolkin]

Gotta say, it just sounds crazy. Are there places where seatbelts are optional and you can talk or text while driving too?

Yes.

About half the states have a “backseat exemption” to the seatbelt law. (And in many states that do have a seatbelt law you cant be pulled over for not wearing a seatbelt. It can only be a “secondary” citation if you are pulled over for something else.)

There are plenty of states that allow the handheld use of cell phones, but only two that still allow texting.

 

[easyas123]

Everyone gets to decide what their personal risk is, but I can still think they are idiots that don’t have the sense god gave a goose (really channeling my late great grandma here).

Exactly. Except when they do (even within the letter of the current "law") some are still getting slammed.

 

[nkereina]

The original intent of the closures and quarantine was to prevent the hospitals from being overwhelmed. To "flatten the curve", as PP mentioned. Like PP, I also know a lot of people who have somehow morphed this into full prevention of transmission which is impossible to do, no matter what restrictive measures we take as a society. And not with essential businesses still functioning.

I think as long as people are heeding their locally mandated and recommended practices, whatever they may be, then do whatever you want to do that's within your risk tolerance. If you're not comfortable and want to stay inside for a while, so be it. If you want to go to someone's house who is on the same page as you and it's allowed within your local guidelines, so be it. It grinds my gears when people shame others or make others feel guilty on either side of that. All we can do is abide by our local government's mandates/recommendations, which will differ for every location.

 

[Darcy03231]

Yup. In my case it's my parents, brother & his family and sister and her family. DH has a heart condition so is in a higher risk category. We've been doing everything we can to keep him safe. My family, on the other hand, is not social distancing, wearing masks, etc. My mom is 83 and dad is 88 and they're not living their life under "house arrest." They and some of their friends have been having dinner/card parties. They've been to a dinner party at my brother's house and had a get together on Mother's Day. I stopped by to drop off a card and present but stayed on the porch and wore my mask. My brother and his family and sister and her family spent the day there. My issue is that while I respect their decision to not take the same precautions we do, they don't respect our decision to stay away.

 

[wenrob]

Exactly. Except when they do (even within the letter of the current "law") some are still getting slammed.

This is what is making me crazy. People putting their own spin on how they think things should be done and applying their interpretations to everyone else. If you don’t do it their way even if you are obeying the current laws/guidelines of where you are, you are somehow out to murder grandma.

 

[easyas123]

Yup...

 

[MamaLema]

Everyone on both my and DH’s family hasn’t been gathering since beginning of March. All the people I know have no interest to gather for the next few months. My neighborhood has become quite funny. When going for a walk, as soon as people see you they cross the street or we cross.
I feel bad for some PP who are having issues with their family over this. It much be so stressful.