anyone retire to diff state with no family/friends?

[HeatherC]

Could you buy a small condo or house somewhere and use it seasonally? Kind of the opposites of what snowbirds do? I think the idea of snowbirding is the best of both worlds.

 

[barkley]

Southern California born and bred here. Family and I have thought about moving out of CA due to the COL, but by the time I retire, the house will be paid off and all that has to be paid are property taxes, insurance, utilities. I'll get enough (knock on wood) in pension and retirement savings to have a good life in CA so why pack up?

for us it came down to-

being able to do most if not all (and more) of the things we did in california but at a greatly lower cost of living and much more relaxed pace of live.

financial-

we were able to get an almost identical home to what we had in california (but 40x the property it sat on) for a bit more than 50% of what we sold in california for (so more retirement money in the bank),

our property taxes though based on a higher assessed value vs. our california home (thanks to prop 13 rules in california which i keep hearing the powers that be are trying to tweak or get rid of) are less than half of what we we were paying back in 2000 in california,

despite snowy cold winters that have the heat running constantly in the winter (about the same amount of time we used the a/c for summer/fall in california) our utility bills run 50% less than we were paying in the early 2000's,

vehicle registration, car and homeowners insurance are a fraction of the price,

icing on the cake-no state income tax on our california pensions.

lifestyle-

we always used to say that the joy of living in california was you could go to the beach and the mountains in the same day. we never did b/c the traffic was horrendous. here it's considered a 'major backup' if the freeway speed drops below 50. we've got multiple ski resorts and while not an ocean beach-stunning lakes in abundance,

we enjoy going to the theater-hated having to go to san francisco and deal with the traffic, parking....here the same touring companies come to a great center with prices like i paid in the 80's for tickets and the access/parking is a breeze,

when travel is safe again-we have a great airport nearby (think john wayne airport back in the early 80's kind of traffic) so we can easily fly anywhere, we're a few hours drive from stunning portions of canada, and if we realy miss the hustle and bustle of urban life-we can drive to seattle (where we can again see an actual ocean beach).


it's not for everyone, but we love it and and don't regret it at all. i have family in southern california that i know would go stark raving nuts here but i've got others in northern who plan on packing it in and moving up in the next couple of years (esp. now that they keep having rolling blackouts).

 

[peabody58]

5 years ago we retires at age 57 and moved from our 30 year stay in central Illinois to the South Atlanta GA area. Still have lots of family in Chicago area, Iowa and MN.

We don't miss Illinois at all. Made new friends here, have a new active church and travel a lot. Love it here in GA.

 

[rinnythepooh]

Anyone at retirement age that was unhappy where they were and took the plunge to move someplace new, where they knew no one? How did it turn out? Were you able to make friends/connections in the new location? Were you glad you made the move or did you end up moving back?

We did this 5 yrs ago and love it! We both retired and within a year of our retirement moved from the snowy upper midwest to a 55+ community in Arizona. We did not know anyone in the community we moved to, but quickly made friends with all the activities this community has to offer. This has been a great 5 years and we dont regret the decision at all. This has been a brutal summer with most activities shut down because of covid. With temps that hit 117 degrees, we have considered renting or buying a summer condo back in the midwest. We will wait and see on that. Our community has many snowbirds who come and rent a house during the winter. Our HOA rules state that rentals must be a 3 month minimum. Renting for a summer or two may be something you may want to try.

 

[CdnCarrie]

To me my 40 year friendships and family > climate.
I can put on the heat or the A/c or travel if the weather is not too my liking.

 

[Southernmiss]

Just the other day, a couple I know told me they've decided to move from a temperate climate where they have friends, but no family, back home to Ohio to be closer to family. They are in their 70s and healthy, but want to be reestablished before things pop up.

 

[Kittyblue]

Theoretically I'm more than happy to move away with the right person. I have no ties to where I live. In fact, I never planned on spending the rest of my life here.

 

[RamblingMad]

This is why it's super important to live where you want to retire, especially near the end of your career. Don't wait to move until you retire. Find work where you want to live even if it pays less.

 

[DaisyDuck001]

Make sure to move into an over 55 community and should be lots of activity.

Depends somewhat on the area, but such communities tend to have high HOA fees, so also make sure you are willing and able to keep paying those.

 

[Kittyblue]

More than likely I’ll end up near where my kids settle down.

 

[disneychrista]

Theoretically I'm more than happy to move away with the right person.

That is how I feel too. So I guess I am staying right where I am since there is no "right person" for me.

 

[shh]

Can't tell you how much I appreciate everyone's posts - interesting and insightful to read the comments.

I read somewhere that the majority of retirees move to be closer to family, so I really admire folks who relocate for entirely different reasons. Must be great to feel that internal confidence and sense of adventure.

I tend to overthink absolutely everything before doing anything. After I'm done visualizing all the worst case scenarios, I usually talk myself out of whatever I was thinking of doing! That has saved me costly mistakes...and likely cost me some wonderful opportunities too. But I definitely feel the clock is ticking here.

Many have suggested snowbirding with 2 places and I know that's popular. But I can't see that as the right step for us. We're not the type to maintain two residences, with all the associated ownership obligations or rental costs. We have pets, plus costs for rent, taxes and home/auto insurance and other living expenses here are very high: tough for us to both maintain a winter residence here and summer place elsewhere.

Our family is all extended family - we're not super close. But we do gather at holidays and they're good people. They'd be there for us if we needed help and we're there for them...comforting backup when you don't have kids.

I also think covid has made life here on the surface of the sun feel 10x more suffocating. It's hard to think objectively right now after hiding indoors in AC virtually 24/7 for the past 6 months, with the exception of a weekly grocery drive for curbside pickup and a daily evening walk. Otherwise, I'm online, exercising or watching TV.

This isn't meant as a rant: no one is living their best life right now. Many have it far worse. I imagine many up north will soon deal with this same cabin fever in reverse, during the winter months ahead.

But it's definitely exacerbating my restlessness and frustration. Hearing experiences of others does help me think through the options.
Thanks again for taking time to post!

 

[peabody58]

Here in our GA 55+ HOA Commumity, the number one reason people leave the community is to be closer to family/grandkids. Even if it means moving back to snow/ice country.

 

[Feralpeg]

I retired and moved from Missouri to Florida. My daughter and sister moved with me. I have never regretted the move, although the area we moved to has changed a lot since we arrived here. I have a relatively small family. Other than my daughter and sister, I have two brothers. They have never been that involved in my life, so it wasn't that difficult to move away from them.

 

[Miffy]

My only advice is to make sure the move passes what I call the Death Test, i.e., how either of you would feel about living in the new area/place if the other died. I know two couples this happened to, and in both instances this happened not that long after their move. Also, as a PP stated, make sure the new area has the same kind of health coverage as you have now. My sister, for example, can't move, since her excellent health insurance is available to her only as long as she stays where she is.

 

[StephMK]

We are in our 50s (50, 54) and made a pre-retirement move this year. My parents always intended to move at retirement but ended up staying put. I knew with a passion that I did not want to spend the rest of my life in our previous city.

Absolutely no regrets! We love our new state and area. We are now 4 hrs instead of 20+ from family, spend way more time outside, and will be working on a local network through meet up groups and volunteering.

Cost of living is similar but weather is so much better. We moved into a new neighborhood and have met lots of fellow transplants of all ages.

We bought a house with small yard and first floor master. We know there is at least one knee replacement in DH's future. There are no steps on the first floor so we hope to age in place as long as we up to it.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[shh]

My only advice is to make sure the move passes what I call the Death Test, i.e., how either of you would feel about living in the new area/place if the other died. I know two couples this happened to,

Thanks for posting...actually thought about this a lot and have no easy answer. Being alone in a place with no family or connections feels frightening if I get sick or hurt and just going by stats, men are the first to pass. Yet living the remainder of my days in a place I truly dislike, just out of fear, feels a little sad. Thus, my continuing dilemma.

I'm positive DH would move back home if I passed away first.

While I don't think it's too hard to meet new acquaintences via 55+ communities, social activities, etc, I'm guessing it's rare to build a real friendship one can count on during tough times.

As far as healthcare, that's actually the easiest part...our policy has extensive nationwide coverage and is guaranteed for as long as we want it (govt retiree benefits).

 

[chickapin parterre]

Here in our GA 55+ HOA Commumity, the number one reason people leave the community is to be closer to family/grandkids. Even if it means moving back to snow/ice country.

very true here in Yuma also, folks leave here to go back north to snow/ice /rain to be near grandchildren and family. Health being the number one issue and secondary, that senior parent has lost their Yuma community, so no one to depend on nor care to expended energy to build a new community. Community is number one priority...wake up the next day and it is a whole new world. March 31 I was walking four hours a day in the desert. April, I am looking at a year or more of cancer treatment. I have no desire to set foot in the desert (granted it is way too hot)

Our Oregon community is still in the chilly oregon because of grandchildren, ill parents, thanksgiving...but thanksgiving seems to be the last straw....then they all come down to Yuma....then pulled in late march or early april...when every plant is blooming beauty...to see grandkids....My problem with this is that we have women and men serving over seas or on the seas, on long term deployment...not even seeing their spouses for long durations. What has changed in our culture that thinks 6 months is too long to go without?

 

[chickapin parterre]

Thanks for posting...actually thought about this a lot and have no easy answer. Being alone in a place with no family or connections feels frightening if I get sick or hurt and just going by stats, men are the first to pass. Yet living the remainder of my days in a place I truly dislike, just out of fear, feels a little sad. Thus, my continuing dilemma.

I'm positive DH would move back home if I passed away first.

While I don't think it's too hard to meet new acquaintences via 55+ communities, social activities, etc, I'm guessing it's rare to build a real friendship one can count on during tough times.

...and that is the key.....are you willing to pay the fees to live in 55+ communities. And then that may not work, our friends tax sheltered buying a home in a HOA, only one person greeted them in the high dense HOA over the 5 months, our friends are young and neighbors did not have the energy or personality. Also to consider, what was the former occupations of an HOA....white collar or blue collar. Yuma tends to be high in blue collar or small business owners, not use to board meetings, company picnics, training camps, etc, so weak on social skills

....or have two different places to visit summer north and winter south.. Two different places are better, have one as an anchor to pull back to when needed. Wife has two children, solid folks, who at moments notice can rescue her back to Oregon if needed. That really helps in the struggle of living summer in YUma. Our dwelling is a primitives' single wide constructed for southern California living, not Yuma. Cousin owns the property and good about wall unit air conditioning, but slow on the windows, so we build thick, styrofoam shade our windows and turn the air on at 88 degrees inside...it is a struggle....though one not encountered by folks living in modular, heat pump units or stick built stucco houses. The only way we survive here, in a dwelling designed for Nov-April living, is that we are off the ground, so house cools off quickly and does not absorb ground heat. ( bought at auction , owned by Canadians. )

as for building friendship....the number one question that was asked of us when house next door was for sale...."What is you happy hour like?" That is where you build real friends who will help and a status of who is living in your neighborhood. Just what is happening around the property you are considering?

 

[JimMIA]

Could you buy a small condo or house somewhere and use it seasonally? Kind of the opposites of what snowbirds do? I think the idea of snowbirding is the best of both worlds.

We've thought about doing something like this, but I don't know if we'll actually do it. It hasn't been an issue, but DW just retired in April and her Mom passed in May. DD is a freshman in college, so we are empty nesters and actually "free" for the first time in 25 years of marriage.

We have a beautiful home that we love, and we love Miami, so I don't see us moving somewhere else even though all of our work friends have since they retired. But we also have numerous good friends here who are not going anywhere, and I have a daughter and grandkids who live here. There are many places with lower costs of living than Miami, but Miami has a lot of other factors that outweigh the cost of living.

Our more immediate focus it to get Grandma's affairs wrapped up. We're in the final stages of that now -- just put her condo on the market last week. Once that's done, we would love to do some serious traveling but Covid's in the way.

Longer term, once Covid is over, I think we'll take a series of bucket list trips rather than become "sunbirds." We're 30 minutes from a major hub airport with great flight options, so that's a big plus.

Several previous posters have mentioned healthcare options/insurance, and that's a big consideration for us as well. We are both healthy, but we have world-class medical facilities here and great insurance. When you are used to those amenities, it's hard to give them up -- and moreso as we get older.