At what age do you let your kids go to movies alone?

[me again]

My kids are 10 & 11. Every summer we have free movies in the mall during the week. This year my daughter is begging to go alone, just with her friends. Well, since I have to drive, just what am I supposed to do for 2-3 hours, anyways? She wants me to drop them off, then she will call when the movie's over to pick them up. Well, that's what I used to do at that age, even younger, about 9 or so, my mother would drop us off at the movies, then I'd call when it was over.

We live in a different world now. I just don't feel right dropping my daughter and a group of girls all about age 10 or so at the mall, then pick them up when they call. I told daughter, sorry, for this summer, I will still chaperone. So daughter asked if I would at least not sit with them! Ok, I understand, she want's to be independent, mother cramps her style, I can do that, just sit in another part of the theatre, but they will still be under my supervision.

Same as riding her bike to the park and pool. Ok, she can do so, but I follow in the car and wait with her at park/pool. My husband says I'm too protective, but I say better safe than sorry. Its not that I don't trust daughter, just I know what the world's like a little better than she does.

So, how do the rest of you handle such things? Am I too protective? I also have myself to think of, it is partly selfish, I'm simply too worried when she's unsupervised for long periods of time. she's still my baby, I'd rather spend the time with her than apart and worrying.

 

[Keara'sMom]

This past fall, I let my dd10 (then 9) go to a movie with a friend without me. The movie only lasted about 90 minutes, and I actually checked on the girls midway through (a big thank you to the management for letting me do that!). While the kids were watching the movie, I shopped in the mall for a little, and I was waiting inside the theatre when the movie was over.

Actually, I don't think dd really enjoyed the independence as much as she thought she would, because when asked if she wanted me to go along to the movies with her and a friend recently, she resoundingly said, "yes!"

Now, I don't let her ride her bike out of our cul de sac, and I'm not sure I would let her walk around the mall without me, but she hasn't asked to do that yet!

 

[Suzanna1973]

My DS is 11. He is wanting to go to the movies with a group of friends by himself. I'm just not quite ready for that to happen. Now when my DD was his age (now 16) I had no problem dropping her off at the movies and picking her up when it was over. But mind you, I waited to drop them off until 10 minutes before movie started and was waiting outside 15 minutes before it ended so that I would see her leave the theatre. Just not ready to cut those apron strings and watch the last little bird try to leave the nest.

Just go with your gut. You know your children better than anyone and you will do what is right for you and your DD.

 

[Hannathy]

I let my DD go to the movies alone with her girlfriend at 10 during the day, actually it may have been 9 1/2, and then 11 1/2- 12 for an evening show. Usually one Mom dropped off and then another Mom picked up so nobody had to hang around. By 10/11 she was allowed to ride her bike to the park and to Dairy queen if with friends.

Following her in the car does sound very overprotective and checking on her during the movie. By 7th grade she'll be going to school dances alone( I would hope) in the evening so starting with movies is a good start. We don't actually live in a different world, statistics have not changed it is no more dangerous now than 20 yrs ago. kids need to learn independence and is natural to want to.

 

[me again]

Well, I don't actually follow her on her bike to the park or pool. I just meet her there, sometimes allow a little space.

Insofar as the mall/movies, I just feel better being there. I could hang out at the starbucks while they're in the movie, she can check in with me via cell phone, then the girls can wander the mall as long as I'm in the general area. That gives her a chance to try her wings without too much independence too soon.

 

[swillis]

My daughter is 12 and she has gone to the movies with friends for the first time this year. Usually one parent will drop off and another will pick up since the theater is about 25 minutes away.
Now...my son...who is 11. He won't be going to the movies alone for a long time. They are just two different kids, and my son could not be trusted to not fool around and disrupt people. Especially if he was with a friend..you know how they like to egg each other on!
I also wouldn't drop my daughter off at the mall to hang out. There is no need for that, even though I did it for years when I was her age.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Hmmm...this one has never come up for me. My kids are 15 and 13. That is probably because the closest move theatre is 4 towns away, so when we go, it is normally as a family. That said, me and DH sit in the back and the kids scatter on their own. I think it all depends on how responsible and mature your kids are if you allow them to go on their own totally. I would allow mine to go on without us now, but not a few years ago.

 

[Lady V]

I let my DD go to the movies alone with her girlfriend at 10 during the day, actually it may have been 9 1/2, and then 11 1/2- 12 for an evening show. Usually one Mom dropped off and then another Mom picked up so nobody had to hang around. By 10/11 she was allowed to ride her bike to the park and to Dairy queen if with friends.

Following her in the car does sound very overprotective and checking on her during the movie. By 7th grade she'll be going to school dances alone( I would hope) in the evening so starting with movies is a good start. We don't actually live in a different world, statistics have not changed it is no more dangerous now than 20 yrs ago. kids need to learn independence and is natural to want to.

see-I think I would do the same things!! I just wouldn't be able to live if something happened during the trip by themselves. Forget independence!! My babies are my babies and I might even chaperone them when they are 30!! haha just kidding-although It will be a long time before my kids are ever able to be anywhere alone.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I think if you think they are ready then that is what you have to go with. I will never let my kids hang out at a mall. In my opinion that is not a hang out and no good can come of that. I think as far as the movies though, I would feel better if the theater wasn't in the mall. I would prefer just a regular freestanding theater. I can't explain why but it would just make me feel like the kids were safer vs. a large theater in a large mall. KWIM? Good luck. Parenting isn't always easy.

 

[tmarquez]

Luckily I don't have to worry about this for awhile, as DD is only 4. But...thinking about myself around that age I would say I would let them. Then yesterday there was an article in our local paper about a 9yo boy that was assaulted in the bathroom at a local Walmart. The area where this happened is not considered a "bad" area...it can happen anywhere.

I don't know if there are more crazies out there nowadays or if you just hear about them more...but to me...it's just not worth the risk until they are old enough and big enough to protect themselves...when is that? I have no idea.

It's really a sad situation for kids growing up these days.

 

[Darcy03231]

My DD is 15 and I still don't let her "hang out" at the mall by herself. Actually, our local mall won't let parents drop teens off. Security is at all the doors and makes sure they're with a parent. I take her and her friends and bring a good book. I sit in the food court, get a drink and/or snack and read until they're ready to leave. She ends up checking in with me quite a bit as I don't give her any $$. If she wants to buy something she then has to get me.

 

[trennr]

My DS12 has not went by himself yet...but he's never asked.

I feel if you have a responsible kid...then go for it.

 

[barbmouse]

My dd has done this with a friend. She was 12 the first time I let them go. It was a matinee and I was waiting for them after the movie. She has also gone with a friend to a diff movie while ds and I saw a movie he wanted to see. We met in the lobby after the movie.

 

[me again]

My dd has done this with a friend. She was 12 the first time I let them go. It was a matinee and I was waiting for them after the movie. She has also gone with a friend to a diff movie while ds and I saw a movie he wanted to see. We met in the lobby after the movie.

I guess I'd be more comfortable doing something like this. Dad and I could go to another show in the same complex and meet them later, or I could hang out in the lobby or somewhere in the mall, or I could just sit apart from the girls during the movie. I just don't feel comfortable yet letting a young girl totally alone in the mall. Not that I don't trust her, just that my gut tells me she's not quite ready to solo. Maybe next year!

 

[lcrane]

I only just let my DD (15) go to the movies by herself, I drop off and pick up I am also there early, my DS (13) does not go to the movies by himself same rules apply to both. I also do not let either of them go to the malls I even go with them and there friends. My DS hates it but will get use to it, my DD didn't like it either but learned to live with it. I guess each to there own on this one.

Lisa

 

[blessedby3]

I didnt let my oldest go to the movies with friends only until she was 13. 9 and 10 is just way too young in my opinion. My middle is just turning 12 and I wont let him go with friends only yet. He will be at least 13, maybe 14. There are just too many things that could go wrong. Even at 13 I was apprehensive to let my oldest go.

 

[pha1226]

We don't actually live in a different world, statistics have not changed it is no more dangerous now than 20 yrs ago. kids need to learn independence and is natural to want to

Thank you for posting this! I have a debate with my mother about this all the time. She was not overprotective at all when we were little. Now that mine are little, she tells me all the time how different the world is and how I should be raising my kids differently than I was raised.

Learning about "stranger danger" is great but your kid really needs to know that the person who would most likely hurt them is not some monster but rather a teacher, uncle, friend's father, scout leader, priest, etc.

 

[PolyAddict]

Mine were about 12 or 13.

I am sure DD6 will be asking in about a week.

Those 3rd children sure grow up fast!!!