At what age would you leave a child alone in a stateroom?

[StarSeven7]

You May be surprised at how late they can or will want to stay up on the cruise. On our first cruise we would keep going to the kids club to pick up our son so he could go to bed, each time he asked for 1 more hour - he ended up staying until close every night! They also have a little area in the kids club where they can lay down, relax and watch a movie (or even nap).
But if they do want to go back to the room and sleep, it’s completely dependent on your comfort level, parenting style AND what you know about your kids. I would have had no issues with my (then) 6 year old and 11 year old in the room alone together (as long as it was BOTH of them there, not just my 6 year old alone). For us, if we had to be back in our room every night by 9 we would have waited to cruise because that would not have been enjoyable for my husband and I and would not have been worth the money for us. Everyone is completely different, only you know what works for you.

My kids definitely CAN stay up later than 9pm, the problem is just that they don't sleep in at all. So after a few days of late nights and early wake ups, they start melting down! My DD9 is always bugging me to have a later bedtime (I'm currently making them go to bed at 8pm this summer) but she still gets up really early most mornings. I told her if she can stay in bed until 7am then she can have a later bedtime. But that hasn't happened yet! Hahaha!

Right now, my 9 and 6 year old are having the "you're breathing on me" fights, so there is no way I'd let the 9 year old be in charge of the 6 year old awake, let alone asleep. They both get scared when left alone, so if one woke and couldn't find us, ugh. My 11 year old routinely stayed out later than either me or DH last cruise, so perhaps on one of the nights we may ask him to be in the cabin while the other two sleep so we could do one late night activity. But usually, the swaying of the ship does me in and I'm the one looking to sleep early! They'll be 7, 10 and 13 on our next cruise in Nov 2020. I may revisit everything then if the 9 year old has matured a bit by then. Right now, the two younger ones together can't be trusted not to smack each other, lol.

Yeah, mine are definitely in that stage too!

Maybe we'll just try keeping them at the kids clubs a bit later and see how that goes, even with early mornings. I find it so hard to know when to give them a little independence! My DH thinks I'm super overprotective, but if I compare myself to all the other parents I know, I would say I'm in the middle (he's just suuuuuuper laid back and was raised without much parental supervision!) I have some friends who won't let their 8 or 9 year olds go into the bathroom by themselves at a restaurant or store and some who let their kids go to the park on their own and walk home from school having to cross a busier street. My DS6 is definitely not mature and I wouldn't consider leaving him on his own. But we do leave them sleeping in our trailer when we're camping and at one particular private campground that my DH's family rents out, we're far enough away from them that I wouldn't be able to hear them if they woke up. It kinda stressed me out when they were younger (our monitor didn't always work that far away) but I'm mostly ok with it now and ALL the other families there do this.

Thanks for the responses everyone!

 

[StarSeven7]

Nope. My mind always goes to worst case scenario. On a cruise ship, that would be a fire onboard. What if that happened and we couldn't get back to our cabin? Would our kids know what to do? Would they be able to handle that? So, no, at 9 and 6, absolutely no way would I leave them in a cabin and then go to the other side of the ship on a different floor to have a drink. If something happened. I could never forgive myself.

Oh man, this is totally me too! I'm getting stressed out just thinking about it! Lol!

 

[DisneYE]

My daughter has been leaving ME alone in the stateroom since she was 10. Most nights she closes down the kids club (or now Edge at 1 AM), and I can't stay awake that late! We started cruising when she was 8 and I'm sure she would have been fine if I'd left her alone in the room at night, but since she stayed up way later than me, that never happened. Like everybody has said, it depends on your kids. You know them best.

haha... that's me as well.. I'm usually ready to go to bed at 10-11 and our DD loves the clubs so much she's been coming back by herself since she was 9-10... nowadays she comes back at 12-1 am and sometimes we don't even hear when she comes back to the SR

the only thing I would worry about when kids are 6-10 and leaving them alone in the room is the verandah... our DD she was hyperactive at that age and only 'matured' kind of late at around 12...some kids are super curious/active when in that age group and they could open the verandah door, which is dangerous when no adults in the room... if an inside room I'd have no problem leaving a child by him/herself even when as young as 8.

 

[rwhistler92]

I don’t like the idea of leaving my “younger” kids alone in the cabin because we are not the only ones with access to keys to my room. As much as I trust my room host, there aren’t plenty of ways of getting a duplicate key card.
I would feel better with my kids in the room if they bolted the door, but if they are asleep when you get back you would be locked out of your room.

 

[lspst8]

On our cruise in May, my husband and I let our 8 and 6 year old daughters alone in the room for an hour or so after dinner if they didn’t feel like going to the kids club. They had strict rules not to open the door and not to go on the top bunk (we had an ocean view room so no veranda to worry about). They had a blast playing together, and one night they begged us to go back out so they could have more “alone time”. My daughters are pretty responsible for their ages andvery good about listening/following rules at school . We told them the first night that we would drop in unexpectedly so they had to be on the best behavior at all times, and when we we stopped by they were playing nicely to watching a movie together. It depends to the kid, of course, but we had no problems leaving our kids alone and would do it again on another cruise.

 

[Lisa F]

I lost my son in 2018 when he was 9 - I left him in the kid pool and was fighting with the app to get a message to my mom for about 5 minutes (he is a strong swimmer and there are lifeguards). To him it felt like a half hour so he got out of the pool to look for me and we must have crossed in the crowd because I couldn't find him.

I looked for quite a while and then just wasn't sure what to do. I was not worried about him but I just had no idea how to find him. Turns out he went to my parents' room after not being able to find me and a furious poppop came and found me and nearly made a scene that I had lost track of his grandchild. But in the meantime I had to start the process of talking to a CM about how to find him on the ship - I did not really expect to get separated there (we have plans for separation whenever we are anywhere else far from home, usually involving him identifying a relatively safe adult and having them call my cell phone.)

I think he would be perfectly fine at that age in the room by himself IF there was some kind of reliable messaging but the lack of reliable messaging is what gives me pause at any age and I would have to feel comfortable that my child would be ok with making decisions and potentially NOT being able to get my attention right away before leaving them alone.

He's 11 now and will have freedom at the edge club and I am completely fine with that but I do wish the messaging options were more consistent/reliable, but also at this age (as opposed to when he was 9) I feel more confident in his ability to make good decisions on the fly if he can't get in touch with me. We will have a verandah room and I am fine with him being in our room as well -we live on martha's vineyard and are on boats quite often, it's not some kind of novelty that will be tempting beyond belief for him. If I tell him the verandah is off limits without me being there he will stay off of it (he is a rules follower.)

A good rule that they had on a schooner sailing vessel I chaperoned his class on for 5 nights was "2 feet on deck while moving" and they enforced it. The rail was only about 10' above the waterline and kids sat on it and jumped off of it when we were anchored or moored but while loose, two feet on deck always (ie no horsing around either.) I think this a good rule to have with your kids on a larger cruise ship as well, when you are near the railing (both on your verandah and in the public areas): two feet on deck always - no jumping, kickboxing, play-fighting, climbing or doing anything where you are not in complete control of your body or putting people around you out of control of theirs when you're near the railing. There are plenty of places to horse around and let out energy in a safer location on a boat the size of a cruise ship. "two feet on deck" is a very clear, simple way to keep kids aware of how to behave safely near a railing.

 

[Ravenne]

No, I would not leave kids those ages in a stateroom by themselves. One of the biggest differences between ship and home for me, is that other people besides us have keyed access to the room.

 

[lklgoodman]

We left our dd in the cabin one night for about 30 mins. I was nervous the entire time, so going to the adult area wasn't a relaxing time. She was 9 yrs old at the time and it was her 5th cruise. She laid in bed and watch TV while we were gone. She had her phone to contact us if needed and was told where we were going. She usually stays in the kids club until it closes, but didn't feel like going to it that night. Not sure if I would let her stay in the cabin by herself again, only because I wouldn't be able to relax.

 

[Geomom]

Instead of doing evening alone time with your husband, on the sea days, when your kids are in the clubs during the day time, do something with just your DH. Go to the adult pool bar area or Cove Cafe and relax with a drink there. Or go to the MDR for breakfast or lunch with just your DH while your kids are in the club. You can still take them to breakfast/lunch at Cabanas/quick service on deck 9 if you want...doesn't mean that YOU have to eat there too!

My kids ARE old enough to stay alone (either alone or together). Our first cruise they were 12 and 16, second cruise they were 14 and 18. We left them sleeping in the mornings with the 'do not disturb' sign on so our stateroom host would know that someone was still in the room, and then we'd have breakfast together...sometimes it's 1/2 hr in Promenade lounge and then time spent gathering pastries/cocoa/tea to bring back for the kids, sometimes it's a sit down meal in the MDR for just the 2 of us...depends on when our port adventures were.

 

[Melissa S]

I personally wouldn’t do it. With master keys abundant you don’t know who has access to come in and out while you are not there. I know DCL runs background checks but there is always a first time.

Instead I would leverage the kids clubs late night. Our kids are sleeping by 9am every night except vacation. Our little guy was up till midnight last night after a day in the parks. If they are sleepy the clubs have cots for them to lay down or the fun activities may keep them up.

 

[smiths02]

Luckily, I have a large enough age gap where I don't have to worry about that with my kids, but my thinking is...
I *might* leave a mature 9 year old. I would never leave a 6 year old alone. I would not let a 9 year old babysit other children.
So the answer would be no.

My twins are 6, and we got lax for a few weeks in the summer and they were up until nearly midnight. I had to dial it back, but you'd be surprised at how late your kids can stay up. (They can definitely do it later than I can!) So I would not rule out kids club. Also, some fun things are earlier. We did mixology one afternoon with kids in the club and then picked them up and went to dinner.

 

[Yokelridesagain]

Our two older children (boys, 10 and 9) don't like the kids club at all. When we cruised last summer we left them in the room for Palo dinner and a tasting or two, but didn't let them go anywhere by themselves.

This year we let them do a lot of things by themselves (movies, dinner in the rotational dining restaurant when we went to Palo) and as far as I know things went fine. We have a younger daughter (5)--personally I would have been OK with the three of them watching a movie in the room for a brief activity (<1 hour), but daughter really took to the club this time and asked to go there even when we weren't looking for babysitting, so it wasn't an issue.

I couldn't really see sending a child younger than 8 to the dining room without adult supervision. Even though the servers may encourage you to do it, they clearly are too busy to take care of someone who isn't reasonably self sufficient.

 

[Groomer Gal]

While 6 seems young to me.....only you can decide how mature your almost 10 yr old is.

I know my twin daughters (at that age and still at 15) are rule followers in every sense of the word. If I give them rules or guidelines , I KNOW they won’t ever from them.
My oldest son on the other hand....turn your back for a sec and he’s doing something you literally JUST told him not to.
Luckily, he’s now 28 and out of my house and hair ! LOL

 

[MausFan]

Our kids loved the various kids clubs as they grew up, so we would take them there after the nightly show (we had early dinner when they were younger). The kids clubs were sometimes open until midnight. After midnight, most of the adult areas of the ship are like ghost towns anyway, and we had to be up in the morning at a reasonable hour anyway because the kids were up, so it worked out for all of us.

Worst case if they don't "love" the clubs, they can still go there and you can explain that it's basically like having a babysitter, except that there are many more fun things to do.

 

[Sun_soakin]

My kids stay up as late as we'll let them on cruises. Even the one that usually voluntarily goes to bed before anyone else.
My 7 y/o and 10 y/o were at the clubs / movies , etc past 11 pm

 

[Rob1872]

I think that each family is best suited to make the determination of when kids are left alone.

We didn't let the kids go off on their own until they were 11 and could go to the 11-14 club. When we had an 11 and 9 year old, the 11 year old could come and go, but the 9 year old was either in the 3-12 club or with us. For our last cruise (ages 14 and 12) they could come and go from the room as they wished. We just set up certain times when everyone would have to come back to the room to check in.

In hindsight, I probably could have let my oldest son come and go when he was 8 and there wouldn't have been any problems. He's the one when we were in London that I trusted over my wife to figure out how to get back to the hotel if we split up. On the other hand, my youngest is slightly autistic and I was a little nervous about him moving around alone even when he was 11. But everything worked out fine for us.

 

[tinkerone]

It's always safe until it isn't.
I really don't like the thought that if you would do it at home you would be fine on the ship. Do complete strangers have keys to your home and access to it when you slip out for a drink. Probably not however several people have access to your stateroom if they want. I would bet most staff could get access to it if they wanted. Its not like these sort of things never happen on cruise ships, a quick google will show you different. And yes, it has happened on DCL. This is a floating city with 6000 strangers on board. Even those you meet in the chat rooms before your cruise, do you know them? Hardly. And that is only one scenario. What happens if there is an issue with the ship and you can't get back to your cabin? What happens if for some one in a million chance a fire starts in the stateroom. What happens if your ten year old who is brave enough to say go ahead and leave us wakes up and suddenly realizes she/he is not as brave as she/he thought? How scary could that cabin be at night when no adult is around?
Leaving young children alone is not something I would ever do but that is just me. I know people who do and nothing bad has happened but I bet if something did they would regret it for the rest of their lives. The cost of going out to get a drink could be more than someone is willing to pay.
Sorry if I sound dooms dayish but that's the way my mind goes. I'm a 'better safe than sorry' type of person. Only you can make the decision for you. Just make sure to have a good, safe vacation.

 

[shoes99]

In the kids club they have mats and blankets for kids to rest/sleep until their parents pick them up. That might be another option not discussed.

 

[MonaMN]

My twins are 6, and we got lax for a few weeks in the summer and they were up until nearly midnight. I had to dial it back, but you'd be surprised at how late your kids can stay up.

Not all kids are flexible though. My kid pretty much never sleeps in more than maybe 30 minutes... otherwise pretty much always up at 6-6:30 AM. Every. Single. Day.

So on our 4 night, we pushed the limits (she was 9) of staying up, and by the last day, she was so tired that she cried when we had to wake her up to get off the boat.

So yeah... not all kids can handle it!

 

[smmco]

Whatever age you think they’re mature enough to be alone in stateroom,