Babies -What has changed? Advice for newbie Grandmoms

[Hisgirl]

I had my babies in the late '80s and helped with my step daughter with her five other the past 18 years. I'm wondering what is new with babies...trends? New medical advice? Safety?

What do new grandmoms need to know?

 

[nancipants]

Safety issues: put baby on their back to sleep is the main one. Use a bassinet or crib or other flat surface. Babies aren’t meant to sleep in rockers or dock a tots, etc. (I know that they do; my baby napped in a swing. But I watched him the entire time.) Put nothing in the sleep space except baby. No blankets - use a swaddle until they can roll, then use a sleep sack to keep them warm. Definitely no pillows.

 

[LSUmiss]

I had my babies in the late '80s and helped with my step daughter with her five other the past 18 years. I'm wondering what is new with babies...trends? New medical advice? Safety?

What do new grandmoms need to know?

I just wanted to say how nice it is that you’re asking. So many grandmothers (including my mil) want to challenge the new trends, safety & medical recs etc instead of trying to learn what is new best practice.

 

[sheilafri]

As a relatively new grandma, my advice is to defer to baby’s parents in all issues. You’ve had your chance to raise a baby. Now it’s their rules.

Congrats and enjoy the new one. Your question shows you care about the well-being of your grandchild. You’ll be a great grandma.

 

[Hisgirl]

I know each generation learns.

My mother's generation would put coca cola in baby bottles to quiet a fussy baby. Our formula was made from PET milk, corn syrup and water. We wore cloth diapers with big sharp pins and had crib bumpers, blankets and pillows. So much has changed!

 

[RoseGold]

We wore cloth diapers with big sharp pins and had crib bumpers, blankets and pillows. So much has changed!

The cloth diapers are back in. It's come full circle.

 

[Travel60]

My DD would not use either the baby bed or the huge playpen I saved. If a soda can can fit through the slats of bed, the gap is too wide and baby's head could get stuck. And the playpen had a drop down side that could trap baby. Who knew?
Be sure you get whooping cough vaccine.

 

[tvguy]

The cloth diapers are back in. It's come full circle.

LOL. Yes and no. I wore nothing but cloth diapers 65 years ago. No disposable diapers yet. My mom kept the old diapers and insisted on using them on my kids......briefly.......and became a believer in disposable diapers. My DIL was all for cloth diapers when her first child was born......briefly.....and became a believer in disposable diapers.
However, the cloth diaper services are still around so someone still uses them.

 

[QueenIsabella]

The most important thing--love your new grandchild!

The second-most important thing--recognize that things have changed. My MIL tried to give me advice when I had babies--I reminded her that, when she was pregnant, she could drink and smoke, but God forbid that she gain weight! Allow the new parents to dictate how they'd like the child to be raised--it's their call on everything. You can remark on how different it is, but follow their lead.

On the good side, there are specific things you CAN do, to make their lives easier. From bringing meals to babysitting to keeping yourself healthy, there are many things that they'll be grateful that you do.

P.S. When in doubt--bring books! Doring-Kindersley makes fun, tactile books for infants (and great books for older kids, too!). Classics like Dr. Seuss and Richard Scarry never go out of style.

 

[Dan Murphy]

What do new grandmoms need to know?

Congratulations @Hisgirl, and to all other new grand parents here. It's a nice trip.

 

[Micca]

When I hit the nursing home I’m demanding cloth diapers. I have to think about the world I’ll leave behind for Keith Richards.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I had my babies in the late '80s and helped with my step daughter with her five other the past 18 years. I'm wondering what is new with babies...trends? New medical advice? Safety?

What do new grandmoms need to know?

So that was probably right about the time they were changing to the "back to sleep" campaign? That's still the recommendation, and as someone said above, no crib bumpers, etc.

I remember just in the short time between when I had DS and when my neighbor had her youngest, the advice on when to introduce the "top allergen" foods changed (and quite possibly has changed back by now!) so keep that in mind to ask the parents when the time comes.

I also second getting your whooping cough vaccine.


Some fun ideas I've seen:

Take a picture of them each month of their first year, and put them in one of those frames designed for school pictures, like these:

(You can do the newborn or first birthday in the center.)


Keep a journal where you write about their visits and give it to them when they're older.

 

[NAB]

Take videos , now it’s easier with the phones. I was watching my son’s today on Cd’s . My heart melted could only find birth to age 2 . Need to go searching. Still pictures are fine but to hear them talk and walk …my son is going to be 26 next month.

 

[jdb in AZ]

When I was a young mom I told my mom (new grandma) something my pediatrician recommended and she said, "He's old school." The dr was much younger than she was. There will always be new trends with new generations, so now that i'm the gma, I'm careful to check with my DD instead of trying to convince her my way is better. (Even when it is.)

 

[fhtpdw20]

I also defer to my kids' way of doing things. I am fortunate enough to live close and get DGS for a couple of hours in the morning once a week. Gives mom a break to do what she wants/needs and I don't miss too many milestones as he grows. My sister got him a safe as a time capsule to be opened on 18th birthday/graduation for DIL's shower. Every year a write him a letter (ongoing word doc) letting him know what and when he experienced things during each year. My little guy turns two tomorrow. This years' letter gives him an idea of covid (outbreak at work so quarentined for a bit), what we did on our days together, what he liked and disliked doing, that we did not spend as much time due to my father's health and subsequent death, a copy of my dad's biography about his growing up and the guides from our first family vacation. Best advice is to enjoy rocking and holding while asleep as long as you can. Once child gets mobile, there is too much to explore. Turn the TV off and spoil them rotten with attention. Just get down of floor and play with them. READ, read and read some more. Sing songs and act silly making funny faces and noises. Let mom and dad do the raising and you do the spoiling within reason.

 

[AleaDaisy]

Love all the comments here. I am blessed with many grandmas for my Peanut (she has a Nonny, a Grammy, a Granny, and a Ba Sau), and it's been wonderful to learn from each of them.

Okay, for practical things -- one thing that has surprised grandparents is car seat rules. We rearfaced a bit past age 3 and they were surprised. We're also very careful with things like puffy coats in the carseat. I (subtly) tightened the straps when my wonderful MIL buckled my daughter in for probably the first 10 times, until she caught me and I told her the best practices of how tight the straps should be and where they should be located.

So if you are driving your new grandbaby at all, you may want to take a peek at some resources.

But mostly? Congratulations and know that we are lucky to have Grandmas like you!

 

[margareton27]

Our grandson is just turning 21 months and there was a lot to learn. I truly relied on my daughter and son-in-law and the reading and research they had done and followed their lead. As first time parents they may want to follow everything to the letter, and as they learn their new little one they will make adjustments. And for me, I would just ask to make sure I was doing things the way they wanted them done. At the very beginning, everything was by the book/blog/expert website. We did laugh about things along the way. For example, every ultrasound our daughter had, our grandson had his hands up over his head, like he was calling a touchdown lol. The guidelines are to swaddle them til four months. Within the first week or two he was fighting one of the swaddles she had bought and when I mentioned his ultrasounds she popped his arms out of the swaddle and up they went over his head and he was sound asleep. They learn like we did and I just follow their cues. I am blessed to be able to spend time with him as they live 5 minutes from us.

 

[LSUmiss]

Our grandson is just turning 21 months and there was a lot to learn. I truly relied on my daughter and son-in-law and the reading and research they had done and followed their lead. As first time parents they may want to follow everything to the letter, and as they learn their new little one they will make adjustments. And for me, I would just ask to make sure I was doing hints they way they wanted them done. At the very beginning, everything was by the book/blog/expert website. We did laugh about things along the way. For example, every ultrasound our daughter had, our grandson had his hands up over his head, like he was calling a touchdown lol. The guidelines are to swaddle them til four months. Within the first week or two he was fighting one of the swaddles she had bought and when I mentioned his ultrasounds she popped his arms out of the swaddle and up they went over his head and he was sound asleep. They learn like we did and I just follow their cues. I am blessed to be able to spend time with him as they live 5 minutes from us.

DS never liked to be swaddled. Even the nicu nurses couldn’t make a swaddle tight enough that he couldn’t get out of! He could get his hands out of the sleep sack swaddles too so we gave up lol. Whatever you want, kid!

 

[AnnaS]

Congratulations!!! Grandchildren put a smile on your face - always, no matter what, and melt your heart.

I have 5 (latest a 3 month old) and one coming in a few weeks.

Car seats have/sort of expiration dates - I had no clue on that.
No mobile, sheets, blankets, pillows, bumpers in crib.
No sleeping on tummy - they do have "tummy time" at a certain time and limited time.
They give gripe water for the longest time. I use to boil water with a bay leaf and a tiny drop of sugar. Let it cool off - made a fresh small bottle every two days (not as soon as they are born of course/no water).


Yes, new parents follow everything to a T from reading books and what the pediatrician tells them no matter how many times you might say, each child is different, etc. etc. And they will say, yes, I know."

These come to mind this early - I am sure there are others and some were mentioned here .

I also agree with @fhtpdw20 , Read, Read, Read, Sing, Sing and of course give them all your attention. We have the time to do that. Enjoy - it all goes by so fast.

 

[nancipants]

Okay, for practical things -- one thing that has surprised grandparents is car seat rules. We rearfaced a bit past age 3 and they were surprised. We're also very careful with things like puffy coats in the carseat. I (subtly) tightened the straps when my wonderful MIL buckled my daughter in for probably the first 10 times, until she caught me and I told her the best practices of how tight the straps should be and where they should be located.

Yes, this! My mom still comments on how tight the straps are for my son (he's 3 now). I'm like, yes, that's the POINT.

We live in Florida so never had to deal with coats in the car until last Christmas, when we spent 3 weeks visiting the in-laws in Seattle. We had to keep reminding them that he should NOT wear his coat while in the car seat. We gave him a blanket to use in the car and put on the coat when we got to our destination.