babysitting conflict. am i being unreasonable?

[Southernmiss]

So you are close enough to the mom to call her 'like a cousin' but you can't share your concerns about not leaving enough milk?

Another idea, if mom is self employed, can you and baby go where she works for feedings, etc. sometimes?

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

 

[3 MEN AND A BOAT]

 

[MainMom]

bottle was empty.
yes i thought it was 3-4 every 3-4 but again that was when i was watching formula fed babies.

Back in the day, I was told Breastfed babies eat more often than bottle fed babies. I only BF so don't know if this theory is true. I only know I was feeding mine every 2 hours, more if they were in a growth spurt.

 

[disney world dreamer]

So, potentially, if there was more in the bottle, baby would have drank more? Also, now I'm confused... you said 2oz at a time. Is baby getting 2oz bottles or 4oz bottles? Main difference btw FF and BF babies is that bf stay at 4oz in general while FF increase over time, usually to 6-8oz bottles, because bm changes calorie/fat count while formula doesn't.

yes i think she'd drink more.
only about 2oz in the bottle to begin with.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

View attachment 185636

Try sucking on a pacifier. It certainly can't hurt.



Oh wait...

 

[disney world dreamer]

So you are close enough to the mom to call her 'like a cousin' but you can't share your concerns about not leaving enough milk?

Another idea, if mom is self employed, can you and baby go where she works for feedings, etc. sometimes?

well according to others i couldn't express my opinion about a paci so how the heck am i supposed to approach not eating enough?

its about a 30 minute drive.
it would be possible for my sister to take her but not when i'm the only one watching her.

 

[MSLRAC]

well according to others i couldn't express my opinion about a paci so how the heck am i supposed to approach not eating enough?

its about a 30 minute drive.
it would be possible for my sister to take her but not when i'm the only one watching her.

I would just tell the mom that you got to thinking more about the baby suckling and the pacifier issue and that you think that it and her fussiness are due to her needing more milk during the day. Tell her in your past experience that babies that age start to need more and you think she would have eaten more today if you had it to give to her. Ask her to please just try it for the baby's sake and that if she does spit up then you can reevaluate the situation. Maybe even suggest her calling their ped to ask if they don't have an appointment soon.

And I know you said the mom wanted to go back to work but she could be struggling with pumping enough for the day which could be upsetting to her if she doesn't want to supplement with formula. So yes, thread lightly with this one but also be somewhat insistent because if this is the true issue, it will continue to be the issue no matter who she gets to watch the baby.

 

[NHdisneylover]

the pacifier was what i had a question about not the food supply which is why i did not lead with that.
but again i've been told how many times that i can't have an opinion about a paci but now I'm supposed to tell her about feeding habits?

Wanting the baby to have a pacifier is primarily for your convienienve so as not to have to deal with a fussy baby.

Wanting the baby to receive adequate nutriotion is for the baby'S HEALTH and safety.

If you truly beleive that the baby is not getting enough sustinance on a regular basis, and you are not willing to do anyhting about it--you are contributing to the neglect of the child. On the other hand, if the baby is just fussy and the parents would like it dealt with in a way that does not involve a pacifier, no real harm comes to the baby at all and you are just pushing your opinion on the parents by complaining.

Honestly, I struggle to understand how the difference is not absolutely clear.

 

[jevs]

 

[disney world dreamer]

haha ok i get it.
so either way i'm the bad babysitter.
everyone has made their point.
i will tell her she needs more food and not a paci and i won't watch her anymore.

 

[disney world dreamer]

Try sucking on a pacifier. It certainly can't hurt.



Oh wait...

i think i'll join you on the sideline and chill.

 

[King Schultz]

+

=



Problem solved!!

 

[disney world dreamer]

+

=



Problem solved!!

thats what this thread needs. a bit more humor to lessen the tension.

 

[King Schultz]

thats what this thread needs. a bit more humor to lessen the tension.

I do what I can. . .

And for what's it's worth, I don't think you're being unreasonable- nor do I think the mother is either.

She asked you to watch her kid and put some parameters on it that you found made the task next to impossible.

You didn't go behind her back; just saying it's not something you feel up to doing is fine.

 

[kaytieeldr]

You are completely missing the point. OP asked if it us unreasonable to decline a babysitting job if she disagreed with parents instructions.

I'm glad to see you are not in favor of having human excrement all over your house. So I assume you WOULD decline the babysitting job if parents were against the use of diapers. I would not fault you for declining. Just as I am not faulting OP for exercising her right to decline.

Follow the bouncing ball! See that was easy. Wasn't it!

I would decline that job in a hot minute. I'm wouldn't then - or ever - ask on the internet if I were being unreasonable.

she is her own employer.

She may absolutely love her job, even live for her job. But as her own employer, if she doesn't work, she has no business. No job, no income...

well according to others i couldn't express my opinion about a paci so how the heck am i supposed to approach not eating enou

Use common sense?

 

[Nancyg56]

well according to others i couldn't express my opinion about a paci so how the heck am i supposed to approach not eating enough?

its about a 30 minute drive.
it would be possible for my sister to take her but not when i'm the only one watching her.

The pacifier seemed to be the issue with you at the onset of this thread. A fussy baby that you wanted to calm by using a method Mom was opposed to. That is why we all told you that no matter your own opinions, Mom gets the final say, and you said that was a deal breaker. For me, having a hungry baby that I was not allowed to feed would be the deal breaker. Unless there was a very good reason to withhold food from a baby, I would not be able to go along with I that, and I would discuss with Mom.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I agree with others that the baby might not be getting enough food. It can be difficult to tell, especially with BF babies, how much they're getting.

It's important for the mom to know that all babies spit up--it's perfectly natural and doesn't harm them. My oldest spit up some, not a lot--she was formula fed. I nursed my second, and he spit up ALL THE TIME! Constatnly! I had burp cloths all over the house. I would have to do laundry, just because I ran out of burp cloths. It was nuts! But, it was just him. My younger two were more like my oldest--occasional spitting up, nothing serious. FTR, #2 is now 19, 6 feet tall, and weighs 200 pounds. It kills me, because he had such a sensitive tummy as a baby, and now he eats everything that isn't nailed down.

Hopefully, this baby has a 2-month check-up coming up, and the pediatrician can evaluate if she's growing adequately. Feeding can be a tricky thing--I failed at nursing my oldest, succeeded with #2 and #3, and then had to supplement with formula for #4. Apparently, I don't produce a lot of milk, and my middle two were aggressive enough to get what they needed. It is not maternal failure to struggle with proper feeding.

Another thought, in this particular case. Since the mom works for herself, might it be worthwhile to bring the baby and sitter to work with her? That way, she could nurse whenever. I have no idea if this is a possibility.

 

[Figment Mom]

Wait. A 6-week-old baby is giving hunger cues by trying to suck on you, is drinking all of the milk provided, is being fed every 3-4 hours, and is inconsolable much of the time?

Do I have all of those facts correct? (I skipped some of the pages because my own nursling needs me.)

If so, I'm speechless.

Please don't babysit anymore until you've taken a class or something.

And this is NOT something to hesitate talking to the mom about just because she didn't agree to your pacifier question.

Sounds to me that the baby's basic human need for adequate nutrition is not being met.

Talk to mom about offering more milk more often. If the baby rejects it, fine. But you owe it to the baby to find out.

ETA: I went back and read some more and apparently you mentioned this to mom and she said no? Have the discussion again. There are other reasons for spitting up besides overfeeding.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

the pacifier was what i had a question about not the food supply which is why i did not lead with that.
but again i've been told how many times that i can't have an opinion about a paci but now i'm supposed to tell her about feeding habits?

It's not that hard.
Paci=Not a necessity... Proper nutrition/adequately supplied childcare provider=Necessity.

also i'm not a mother as many has so clearly pointed out so how should i know how much food the baby should be eating?
this is why i defer to the parent.

But... You said you've watched plenty of babies and know how to care for them. You don't get to back peddle and feign innocence. I think that the tone you've taken when responding has rubbed a lot of posters the wrong way. There was nothing wrong with your original post, you just didn't seem to like the answers you got.

Wanting the baby to have a pacifier is primarily for your convienienve so as not to have to deal with a fussy baby.

Wanting the baby to receive adequate nutriotion is for the baby'S HEALTH and safety.

If you truly beleive that the baby is not getting enough sustinance on a regular basis, and you are not willing to do anyhting about it--you are contributing to the neglect of the child. On the other hand, if the baby is just fussy and the parents would like it dealt with in a way that does not involve a pacifier, no real harm comes to the baby at all and you are just pushing your opinion on the parents by complaining.

Honestly, I struggle to understand how the difference is not absolutely clear.

Exactly.

The pacifier seemed to be the issue with you at the onset of this thread. A fussy baby that you wanted to calm by using a method Mom was opposed to. That is why we all told you that no matter your own opinions, Mom gets the final say, and you said that was a deal breaker. For me, having a hungry baby that I was not allowed to feed would be the deal breaker. Unless there was a very good reason to withhold food from a baby, I would not be able to go along with I that, and I would discuss with Mom.

Yep.