Buying 16 year old a car- help

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Maturity doesn't suddenly get turned on when someone becomes a legal adult. Many college kids are far from what most people would consider to be mature. Evidence of this is the out of control partying and other bad behavior that some engage in. In this case, since the parents were providing their DD with a car, it is perfectly fine that they made the determination that she was ready before they made this kind of investment.

Yeah that's not what my comment was referring to at all...I know you know I wasn't referring to some magical age of turning an adult by legal definitions

As far as college kids not being mature far too many of them are that way because they were not given the opportunity to grow. Or they were sent off to college because that was the expectation but they weren't really the college sort of individual.

Partying my goodness that's been going on since the darn dawn of time the horror! That does not mean you aren't mature.

And as far as the parents providing that's the sort of thing I"m talking about when it comes to the opportunity to grow. You cannot hold everything over someone as a means of control. You're a junior in college and being told by your parents that you're mature enough for a newer car. At that age you should be making these sorts of decisions yourself you also should also have been given the opportunity to provide for yourself too. So many people complain about the youths of today.

Now if you're at the 17/18 age bubble I can totally see more control but a junior in college?

 

[piccolopat]

Yeah that's not what my comment was referring to at all...I know you know I wasn't referring to some magical age of turning an adult by legal definitions

As far as college kids not being mature far too many of them are that way because they were not given the opportunity to grow. Or they were sent off to college because that was the expectation but they weren't really the college sort of individual.

Partying my goodness that's been going on since the darn dawn of time the horror! That does not mean you aren't mature.

And as far as the parents providing that's the sort of thing I"m talking about when it comes to the opportunity to grow. You cannot hold everything over someone as a means of control. You're a junior in college and being told by your parents that you're mature enough for a newer car. At that age you should be making these sorts of decisions yourself you also should also have been given the opportunity to provide for yourself too.

Now if you're at the 17/18 age bubble I can totally see more control but a junior in college?

I would agree with you on the section I bolded if the DD was buying the car with her own money. While her parents were putting their money out, they had every right to make this decision. Parents could have said they would put in $xx and DD could add her own funds if she wanted something nicer or sooner. That is an example of "opportunity to grow" that I like. Of course at that age, DD should also be buying her own insurance and paying for all gas and maintenance on her car.

As for partying, I'm not talking about getting together with friends and having a good time responsibly. I'm talking about the kind of partying where people are getting so drunk that they don't remember what they did the next morning or they acted like fools or miscreants. There's nothing wrong with having a few drinks but drinking to that kind of excess is not a sign of maturity, IMHO.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I would agree with you on the section I bolded if the DD was buying the car with her own money. While her parents were putting their money out, they had every right to make this decision. Parents could have said they would put in $xx and DD could add her own funds if she wanted something nicer or sooner. That is an example of "opportunity to grow" that I like. Of course at that age, DD should also be buying her own insurance and paying for all gas and maintenance on her car.

As for partying, I'm not talking about getting together with friends and having a good time responsibly. I'm talking about the kind of partying where people are getting so drunk that they don't remember what they did the next morning or they acted like fools or miscreants. There's nothing wrong with having a few drinks but drinking to that kind of excess is not a sign of maturity, IMHO.

That's where I disagree wholeheartedly.

It's no wonder people complain about the youths that they are lazy, that they are moochers, that they aren't responsible, etc. You have to give them the opportunity to grow, to be their own adult capable of making many if not all their own decisions themselves, etc.

IIRC this is the poster who has one of their kids (could be the one she's talking about in her prior comments can't remember) staying at home saving money (like $60K, $100K can't remember) towards their 401K at the expense of living on their own. You can say all you want about the daughter adding her own funds.......if her parents allowed her to. Buying her own insurance paying for her own gas...yes.......if her parents allowed her to. I think what gets me is saying "I'm paying for it therefore I have the right to make decisions"..that may work when their are 17/18 but at some point help (especially if you're the one insisting on helping) shouldn't come with strings attached like that--at that point it's about control not about increasing autonomy, not about allowing them to grow and mature, not about helping them financially because it enables them to free up the money towards something else.

If you're using the definition of acting like fools pretty sure millions and millions of people would be categorized as immature .

 

[kerry1379]

This may have been mentioned-if so I apologize. But will your teen be driving it to school? If so, consider the parking lot. Our high school parking lot spots seems to be on the slightly smaller side. We live in Texas, so many of the kids want trucks. But my son much preferred a smaller car so he didn't have to stress so much about squeezing a large car into a smaller spot with a teenage driver parking skill level.

 

[MrsPete]

I'm kinda laughing at the idea of describing someone who is 21 (roughly) and a junior in college is deemed by her parents that's she's finally mature enough for a vehicle.

Note that you're focusing in on one reason out of several /are pretending that it was the sole reason.

When the child in question was 16, no, she wasn't all that mature. She was never a wild or bad kid in any way -- but she was only 16. We provided a third family car that she could use as a junior /senior in high school. During high school we limited when /where she could drive (for example, we didn't let her drive after dark for a while). When she came home from college, she still had access to that third-family car -- and her only restriction was that she had to share the car with a younger sibling.

When she went away to college at 18 she wasn't 'specially immature, but she also wasn't really a full-fledged adult. Our larger reasons for NOT providing her with a personal car were that 1) dorm students don't really need cars. 2) cars on campus are really expensive. At the same time, though, we also didn't want her to need to deal with car-problems such as flat tires, etc. two hours away from home.

Those circumstances changed when, as a junior, she needed to drive to various locations for nursing clinicals. Yes, she was 20 at that point and much more mature than she had been at 16. Also, as I said earlier, we wanted to wait to buy her a car because we wanted her to graduate with a car that would last well into her first job.

If you see a problem with that progression of car-provision, you see something I don't.

Partying my goodness that's been going on since the darn dawn of time the horror! That does not mean you aren't mature.

Who said our decisions were made because of partying?

Just for the record, my kids are not lazy, irresponsible or ungrateful either.

And as far as the parents providing that's the sort of thing I"m talking about when it comes to the opportunity to grow. You cannot hold everything over someone as a means of control. You're a junior in college and being told by your parents that you're mature enough for a newer car. At that age you should be making these sorts of decisions yourself you also should also have been given the opportunity to provide for yourself too. So many people complain about the youths of today.

Now if you're at the 17/18 age bubble I can totally see more control but a junior in college?

You're creating a narrative here that didn't exist.

The child in question went away to school at age 18, excelled in a science-heavy major, graduated in four years, and was offered a job before graduation. She's made great decisions, which her father and I have supported.

If she'd chosen to buy herself a car at 18 or 19, she could've done it -- but she was smart enough to realize she was fine on a college campus without a personal car.

IIRC this is the poster who has one of their kids (could be the one she's talking about in her prior comments can't remember) staying at home saving money (like $60K, $100K can't remember) towards their 401K at the expense of living on their own.

Yes, but you're twisting my daughter's choices.

My younger child is a senior in college, and the choice SHE has made is to return home after college and live with us (which is what she wants to do for the immediate future anyway). She's concerned that she's going into a rather low-paying profession, and she has set a goal to continue to live like a college student until she has $200,000 in savings. She has between 10-15% of this saved from part-time work during college, and her idea is to save while she's young /put this away so the magic of compound interest can work in her favor, and she'll be able to retire with a healthy nest egg. Her second goal -- after she has invested some serious money -- is to buy a couple duplexes to rent. She's still playing with that rental property goal, but she's rock-solid on wanting to put away real money while she's young.

Where'd she get these ideas? Reading books on finance. I think she's making good choices.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Note that you're focusing in on one reason out of several /are pretending that it was the sole reason.

Your exact wording was "she was mature enough that we felt she was ready to really care for a car of her own". I was specifically discussing that aspect of your comment. Any other reasons mentioned (which I'm not for nor against) aren't going to take away your above comment and my responses to you or the PP.

When the child in question was 16, no, she wasn't all that mature. She was never a wild or bad kid in any way -- but she was only 16. We provided a third family car that she could use as a junior /senior in high school. During high school we limited when /where she could drive (for example, we didn't let her drive after dark for a while). When she came home from college, she still had access to that third-family car -- and her only restriction was that she had to share the car with a younger sibling.

When she went away to college at 18 she wasn't 'specially immature, but she also wasn't really a full-fledged adult. Our larger reasons for NOT providing her with a personal car were that 1) dorm students don't really need cars. 2) cars on campus are really expensive. At the same time, though, we also didn't want her to need to deal with car-problems such as flat tires, etc. two hours away from home.

Those circumstances changed when, as a junior, she needed to drive to various locations for nursing clinicals. Yes, she was 20 at that point and much more mature than she had been at 16. Also, as I said earlier, we wanted to wait to buy her a car because we wanted her to graduate with a car that would last well into her first job.

If you see a problem with that progression of car-provision, you see something I don't.

She's wasn't 16, she's wasn't 18..she was a junior in college and my comments were framed with that aspect. A lot of your comments have one thing in common....control.

Who said our decisions were made because of partying?

I didn't bring up partying..the other poster did. If you have a problem with that bring that up with the poster not me.

Just for the record, my kids are not lazy, irresponsible or ungrateful either.

Never said they were. I said there's a reason why many call youths that.

You're creating a narrative here that didn't exist.

The child in question went away to school at age 18, excelled in a science-heavy major, graduated in four years, and was offered a job before graduation. She's made great decisions, which her father and I have supported.

If she'd chosen to buy herself a car at 18 or 19, she could've done it -- but she was smart enough to realize she was fine on a college campus without a personal car.

Then let her make the decision. Let her decide she's up for a new car and if you wanted to help help without strings attached, let her take on the role of determining things. In one breath you discuss how smart she is, how she excelled at this, how she graduated in 4 years, how she was offered a job before graduation, how she made great decisions but in the next breath you are dictating when she is mature enough to have a newer car and she was a junior (so roughly 21 at that point). That would be so stifling to me.



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Yes, but you're twisting my daughter's choices.

My younger child is a senior in college, and the choice SHE has made is to return home after college and live with us (which is what she wants to do for the immediate future anyway). She's concerned that she's going into a rather low-paying profession, and she has set a goal to continue to live like a college student until she has $200,000 in savings. She has between 10-15% of this saved from part-time work during college, and her idea is to save while she's young /put this away so the magic of compound interest can work in her favor, and she'll be able to retire with a healthy nest egg. Her second goal -- after she has invested some serious money -- is to buy a couple duplexes to rent. She's still playing with that rental property goal, but she's rock-solid on wanting to put away real money while she's young.

We've already been through that road but no I don't believe I'm twisting your daughter's choices. There's a past thread for that whole thing so no need to rehash that (and I'm not trying to be rude here) I brought that up to give context for the other poster and my responses to you

 

[MrsPete]

Your exact wording was ...

I'll say it again: you're creating a narrative that doesn't exist.
If our oldest child had wanted to buy a car for herself at 18 or 19, she would've done it.
If our youngest wasn't fully motivated to move home after college, she wouldn't be trying to sell her icky-old furniture and sub-let her college apartment right now.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I'll say it again: you're creating a narrative that doesn't exist.

Mmkk. Guess we'll agree to disagree respectfully then

 

[seashoreCM]

About shopping for a used car, it should work excellently from your point of view. Specifically, do not accept excuses from the seller, like, "it needs a tuneup." Why didn't the seller give it the tuneup first? Did it really need something else like an engine overhaul? (musings from my younger brother q.v. below)

Test all the features. Go through the manual if needed to be sure you got everything. You don't want a surprise some rainy night when you discover that the back window won't roll up again.

After you find everything working with your own checking then think about having a mechanic go over it if you wish, still recommended if you are a novice.

How new and how much to pay? One answer to consider, how much of a heartbreak would it be if the car got wrecked?

In my earlier lifetime my brother, who was an auto buff, helped me buy a used car on two separate occasions, the first when I was 23. (Rode subways and buses a lot back then and now also. ) Each time the car worked for us well enough that we did not get a second opinion from a mechanic. Both were two years old, bought for about half the sticker price, but had high mileage (something like 80k). I was very happy with each and got many thousands of miles of use. For each the final end came after I could make a lengthy list of what had gone wrong with it (rust included).

 

[Minnie824]

After a lot of research, we ended up getting a Honda HR-V. It's been a great first car for DD.