Cancelling trip due to DAS concerns? :sad:

[cmwade77]

I know all too well how difficult it is to have a child with disabilities and I know all too well the wait that many of us go through to get help for our children. We do put up with stares and comments and people judging us for how they perceive we are raising our children.

But, that does not mean that we should expect special treatment. In fact, we are actually getting special treatment from Disney, just not as special as some would hope and not as special as it once was.

It is hard to adjust our expectations of how we enjoy Disney, especially since many of us are used to the old GAC system which was really an unlimited anytime fastpass. However, that old system is gone and it really is not going to come back.

So, what are we to do? Well, we can do one of three things.

1. We can learn a new way to tour the parks using the new system. We can be disappointed that things have changed for what we perceive as worse but we learn to work within the system.

2. We can refuse to use the new system the way it is being implemented and yell and scream and complain and berate the CM until they either give us what we demand or get security to escort us out.

3. We can simply spend our vacation dollars elsewhere.

For us, we are going to try #1 and if that does not work for our family, we will move on to #3. I refuse to even dip my big toe into option #2 because that is not who I am. Disney does not owe me anything just because my son is autistic and Disney does not have to change for me or our son. Disney is doing what is should do, give us the opportunity for equal access, which is not to say that it is "fair" access, just equal.

Life is not fair and that sucks but I have to teach my son to work within the world because the world is not going to change just because he has special needs.

There is an option 4, try the system and let GR know if there is some aspect that is not working for you. They will do what they can to reasonably accommodate you.

 

[samnbilly]

I hope you'll reconsider your trip & take this as a chance to work thru this together (all of you)

No one is denying how extremely difficult it is to raise a child with special needs, but this is how Disney is changing to make things fair & I'm sure they will keep working on it.

It's such an enjoyable place, it seems like your son loves it so much that it's hard to hear people say that they won't give this change a try.

People with special needs children have to adapt to new things all the time & believe it or not, you're probably better at dealing with change than most.

It's different & it's scary, but change occurs everyday & I don't know about you, but I appreciate all of those who gave suggestions that have already worked with the new system.

 

[mom2AidanAndEli]

I have to respectfully disagree- it is not the same to have a brother or other sibling or cousin who is disabled as it is to be the parent - you aren't there for all the FUD. You didn't go through years of broken expectations. You didn't listen to a doctor tell you that the future is uncertain for your delightful little 2 year old who has just been labeled with "significant, unspecified" disabilities and that he needs extensive therapies. You've taken over after the hard work is done and I understand that you may not see it that way but unless you have sat in a courtroom with your child, as a grown man (18) who starts to convulse in tears when the judge agrees that he will never be able to live independently, you haven't walked in my shoes. How do you tell a 16 year old boy that he can't drive a car? How do you tell a 12 year old that the other boys don't want to play baseball with him? Have you ever sat next to the hospital bed of someone for three weeks who at 21 was not expected to live due to reactions from his medication ? Have you watched a 15 year old cry while thoughtless teens made fun of the "short bus"? Have you watched 10 year olds stand up and leave a lunch table when your child sits down? Have you had to attempt to explain to a young adult who is very cognitively aware and quite intelligent that he will probably never have a girlfriend, never marry and never have his own home? I'm sorry for those of you who don't feel like you want something special for your special child - I can't agree with you and am thankful for the CM's with heart enough to agree with me. That's not why I'm here on this board though - I'm here for tips on how to make my son's vacation special because he lives in a world of disappointment and I believe he needs something special in his life; not because he wants or needs any compassion from those of you who are clearly not capable of it. Please let's keep this to helpful tips on how to deal with the changes.

I really didn't want to "go there" but you don't have exclusive rights on heartbreak and sadness! No, I'm not a parent. But you have no idea what I have been through, though you presume to know exactly what my experience has been. I grew up in a dysfunctional household with two alcoholic parents and a disabled brother. Who do you think got stuck with all the parental responsibilities? Yep. Who had to give up her own childhood to basically raise a younger brother with special needs? Yep. Who had to intervene with all those other kids who were doing the exact same things you describe to her brother? Yep. Who then, years later, had to explain to her brother why his mom was so sick and dying? Yep. Who had to make the decision on her own to place her brother in a group home when he didn't understand what was happening? Yep. Who still has to juggle her own family's wants and needs with making sure her brother is well cared for, healthy, and happy? Yep.

So you don't own the market on life difficulties, sorry to say. But as others have posted, there are many, many, many people in your shoes. It's up to you whether you go through life thinking everyone owes you something for your troubles or whether you make the best of what life has dealt you and move on--for you and your son!

 

[WDW1979]

He does like the pirates and a few years ago went to the Halloween party as Capt Jack and was thrilled when he was invited "backstage" with them. That's magic!

Wow that's great! It's wonderful to hear that the Disney CM's would do something like that for your son.

There are no disability issues in my family. One thing I have noticed reading this board is that disabilities can vary greatly, from difficulty walking long distances, to difficulty sitting for long periods of time, to anxiety issues, or certain conditions such as autism or developmental conditions and the many variations within each of those. Having read various comments on these boards, I have become sympathetic to those with family members who have conditions such as autism or other developmental conditions where the particlar severity of their condition will lead to what has been described on this board as "melt-downs" or similar problems when extended waiting is involved. And more so when I read of people with such conditions who find great joy at Disney, a kind of joy that they rarely get anywhere else. In my mind, it would be nice to have a system with a special accomodation for people with a certain level of developmental condition so that the Disney "magic" can remain a part of their lives, but I suppose that might lead to others with disabilities that are not related to developmental issues asking for similar treatment based on their own reasons...I wonder if there is any flexibility in the new system for certain conditions.

When it comes to access, it seems it must not be easy to sort it all out given the wide range of differing disabilities that exist. I hope the new system works well for everyone.

 

[Gracie09]

I have to respectfully disagree- it is not the same to have a brother or other sibling or cousin who is disabled as it is to be the parent - you aren't there for all the FUD. You didn't go through years of broken expectations. You didn't listen to a doctor tell you that the future is uncertain for your delightful little 2 year old who has just been labeled with "significant, unspecified" disabilities and that he needs extensive therapies. You've taken over after the hard work is done and I understand that you may not see it that way but unless you have sat in a courtroom with your child, as a grown man (18) who starts to convulse in tears when the judge agrees that he will never be able to live independently, you haven't walked in my shoes. How do you tell a 16 year old boy that he can't drive a car? How do you tell a 12 year old that the other boys don't want to play baseball with him? Have you ever sat next to the hospital bed of someone for three weeks who at 21 was not expected to live due to reactions from his medication ? Have you watched a 15 year old cry while thoughtless teens made fun of the "short bus"? Have you watched 10 year olds stand up and leave a lunch table when your child sits down? Have you had to attempt to explain to a young adult who is very cognitively aware and quite intelligent that he will probably never have a girlfriend, never marry and never have his own home? I'm sorry for those of you who don't feel like you want something special for your special child - I can't agree with you and am thankful for the CM's with heart enough to agree with me. That's not why I'm here on this board though - I'm here for tips on how to make my son's vacation special because he lives in a world of disappointment and I believe he needs something special in his life; not because he wants or needs any compassion from those of you who are clearly not capable of it. Please let's keep this to helpful tips on how to deal with the changes.

Just like I haven't lived your life you haven't lived mine. Spending tens of thousands to get pregnant, lose several babies, get preeclampsia with one that is born premature and in the nicu. Then every cold becomes pneumonia and you have to quit work to keep her well. Then deal with her developmental delays and cp and after years of pushing get the MRI that shows the grey matter pockets in her white matter which mean its a matter of time, no one knows how much time, before she starts seizing. Seizures that are likely to me uncontrollable. In the mean time, start taking in foster kids because you have the room and the heart so why not. Staying up night after night with babies withdrawing from drugs, segregating your bathrooms so that the five year old who was abused in every way possible by her father feels comfortable using the bathroom with a man in the house. Fighting school districts to provide an appropriate education even though the child in question is not living in their district but started the school year there. Then when you get them in a good spot finding out that even though mom doesn't have a job or a place to live besides the homeless shelter the kid is going back to her.
Add in a disabled husband who at one point lost his job because he had the Gaul to go to a doctors appt to get the medication he needs to control his disability.
Life is tough for just about everyone out there. The difference is we have the luxury of taking our kids to Disney so we can escape, as much as any parent can, from the grind of every day life. Good luck with your trip but like most things in life if you go in expecting it to be horrible, your expectations will be met.

 

[KPeveler]

Ok - The original question has been answered as much as possible, and this is turning into a debate about, basically, who has suffered enough to not wait in park lines.

Please remember, no one here is "specialer" than anyone else. We know very little about one another based on what is posted online, and cannot make assumptions about the other person's life and experiences. Any other DAS specific questions can be put on the DAS thread.

 

[Aladora]

I have to respectfully disagree- it is not the same to have a brother or other sibling or cousin who is disabled as it is to be the parent - you aren't there for all the FUD. You didn't go through years of broken expectations. You didn't listen to a doctor tell you that the future is uncertain for your delightful little 2 year old who has just been labeled with "significant, unspecified" disabilities and that he needs extensive therapies. You've taken over after the hard work is done and I understand that you may not see it that way but unless you have sat in a courtroom with your child, as a grown man (18) who starts to convulse in tears when the judge agrees that he will never be able to live independently, you haven't walked in my shoes. How do you tell a 16 year old boy that he can't drive a car? How do you tell a 12 year old that the other boys don't want to play baseball with him? Have you ever sat next to the hospital bed of someone for three weeks who at 21 was not expected to live due to reactions from his medication ? Have you watched a 15 year old cry while thoughtless teens made fun of the "short bus"? Have you watched 10 year olds stand up and leave a lunch table when your child sits down? Have you had to attempt to explain to a young adult who is very cognitively aware and quite intelligent that he will probably never have a girlfriend, never marry and never have his own home? I'm sorry for those of you who don't feel like you want something special for your special child - I can't agree with you and am thankful for the CM's with heart enough to agree with me. That's not why I'm here on this board though - I'm here for tips on how to make my son's vacation special because he lives in a world of disappointment and I believe he needs something special in his life; not because he wants or needs any compassion from those of you who are clearly not capable of it. Please let's keep this to helpful tips on how to deal with the changes.

My son is autistic so I guess I can reply to you.

I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt for so many of the things you wrote about in the above quote.

I have an issue with the part I bolded above. How dare you assume that because I don't demand better access than others that I do not feel like I want something special for my son. I absolutely want something special for him, that's why we've taken him to Disneyland 4 times in the last 2 years. But I categorically refuse to teach him that he DESERVES better than others just because life has dealt him a hard hand. He needs to learn to work within society and by teaching him otherwise, I am actually doing him a disservice.

You've been given some good ideas here about how to work WITH the new system rather than fighting against it. The one thing that has possibly not been posted yet is a link to the new guide that WDW and DL have put out to help prepare people with cognitive disabilities so that is my last bit of advice for you.

Here is the link for WDW:
https://wdpromedia.disney.go.com/me... guide for guests with cognitive disabilities

And here is the link for DL/DCA:
DL/DCA guide for guests with cognitive disabilities

I really hope that you get some help from either of those guides. We've take our son to DL 4 times and I found some great hints and tips when I read the guide.