Charging guests for a wedding after party

[Vijoge]

I worked with a bride who had two separate bridal registries that were based on how much the guest earned. All I can say is these people have brass balls!

 

[kimblebee]

http://www.winnipegomyheart.com/2011/06/weird-wedding-traditions-of-winnipeg-socials/

This was a very interesting thing to read. I never heard of this.

The comments are all over the place. But this one was so full of entitlement:

"We both have full time jobs, and even with that – we can’t afford a wedding we believe our love deserves. It won’t be flashy and over the top (our hall actually costs less than our social hall to rent!) but, with weddings naturally costing more than my car – I don’t really know how any one expects us to pay for one ourselves.....I think to say it’s all a money grab is kind of ridiculous and insulting to us......it helps someone achieve a wedding they’ve always dreamed of."

Lol! They can't afford a wedding their "love deserves".

And weddings DO NOT cost more than cars. If you choose for your wedding to cost that much and you can't afford it, well you are off to a very bad start.

I agree with you on this point. If you can't afford unicorns at your wedding, leave them out.

But, again, if YOU don't want to have a party and charge people, good news, YOU don't have to.

Cluck cluck and grab your pearls all you want, but leave us out of it.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

What dictionary uses that as its definition? I couldn't find one..

Where is it written that you don't go up to someone and burp in their face? Where is it written that you don't ask your neighbor how much they get paid? Where is it written that you don't take off your shoes and plop your feet on the workplace lunch table while people are eating (or ever). Where is it written that you don't invite people to a wedding reception and then charge them at the door?

Not in the dictionary perhaps, but there are social norms most people follow.

 

[Vijoge]

I recently retired and now that I'm home all the time I've noticed that there are items in my home that are getting shabby and need to be replaced. I guess it didn't bother me all that much when I was working 12 hour shifts. Please come to my retirement party. I'd like a new sofa, a kitchen remodel, a walk in shower in my bathroom, my front lawn re-sodded, and a convertible two seater sports car so i can drive around looking like a really cool old lady. I mean, I should be able to enjoy my retirement, right?

 

[Chocolate Cake]

I agree with you on this point. If you can't afford unicorns at your wedding, leave them out.

But, again, if YOU don't want to have a party and charge people, good news, YOU don't have to.

Cluck cluck and grab your pearls all you want, but leave us out of it.

Not grabbing pearls.

But rolling eyes for sure at "We can’t afford a wedding we believe our love deserves" and "I don’t really know how any one expects us to pay for one ourselves."

Laughing too.

How entitled to think in that manner!

 

[mi*vida*loca]

A wedding only costs as much as the marriage license. It's the after party that costs money. Yes, a reception is a big party. Throw the party you can afford.

 

[kimblebee]

Not grabbing pearls.

But rolling eyes for sure at "We can’t afford a wedding we believe our love deserves" and "I don’t really know how any one expects us to pay for one ourselves."

Laughing too.

How entitled to think in that manner!

There's exceptions to every rule. No one I know has that attitude, same as you, probably.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

There's exceptions to every rule. No one I know has that attitude, same as you, probably.

I am sure everyone that asks people to help pay for their wedding has that attitude
Um, or else they would have a wedding that is within their budget and pay for it themselves.

 

[kimblebee]

I am sure everyone that asks people to help pay for their wedding has that attitude
Um, or else they would have a wedding that is within their budget and pay for it themselves.

You're determined to argue and I'm not so *shrug*

 

[Chocolate Cake]

You're determined to argue and I'm not so *shrug*

Argue? My goodness. It's a discussion board.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

Throw the party you can afford.

Such a simple concept. Yet people just can't seem to grasp it.

 

[bcla]

Such a simple concept. Yet people just can't seem to grasp it.

Understand the sentiment, but that basically would put a lot of wedding planners, bridal outfits, and venues out of business.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Such a simple concept. Yet people just can't seem to grasp it.

That's why I eloped. Well last minute city hall marriage but we never redid it when he returned from Iraq like we planned to.

I believe when you throw a party you cater to your guests with food, drinks, entertainment, etc. You do it the right way (without asking for money!) or don't do it all. Since we didn't want to spend the money for this big event we just didn't do it. To invite our families it would've easily been 200 people. We didn't want to leave people out or cheap out on food or drinks or anything else. So we just didn't do it.

We are doing DD's quinceanera in a little over 3 years. We will do it the "right" way or we won't do it at all.

 

[Vijoge]

My husband and I had a lovely wedding and we were pretty broke at the time. We wanted a nice event so rather than not do it we opted to do most of the work ourselves. I made all of the floral arrangements, for both the church and the bridal party. DH did all of the cooking and baking, except for our cake. We held our reception in the church hall, which was way less expensive than renting a venue. I purchased my dress on clearance. We did hire a DJ, a photographer, and had a bakery do our cake. The church organist charged a very small stipend to play or the ceremony. And a couple of friends acted as servers/bar tenders. Yes, it was a lot of work, but it enabled us to have the wedding we wanted without going into debt, and certainly without asking our guests to foot the bill. It was also fun and we have great memories of that day.

 

[dish rag]

It is very tacky to invite people to a reception and then charge them.

Worse than tacky. Probably not even a work for that.

 

[RedAngie]

I worked with a bride who had two separate bridal registries that were based on how much the guest earned. All I can say is these people have brass balls!

Did Bridezilla subpoena their W-2, 1099, and/or 1040 forms with various schedules to determine income?

My cousin's daughter recently told a story of a wedding shower invitation that sort of "told" her what gift she would be giving.

 

[Vijoge]

Did Bridezilla subpoena their W-2, 1099, and/or 1040 forms with various schedules to determine income?

My cousin's daughter recently told a story of a wedding shower invitation that sort of "told" her what gift she would be giving.

No,lol. She didn't really have to. Everyone there pretty much knows how much everyone else is making. They don't pay anyone anything extra for experience or less because you're new, so if you know how much one person in the job classification makes you know them all. I wasn't even aware she was doing this until I was discussing with a co-worker what to buy and she said the things I was mentioning weren't on the list. So we compared notes lol

 

[here757]

Where is it written that you don't go up to someone and burp in their face? Where is it written that you don't ask your neighbor how much they get paid? Where is it written that you don't take off your shoes and plop your feet on the workplace lunch table while people are eating (or ever). Where is it written that you don't invite people to a wedding reception and then charge them at the door?

Not in the dictionary perhaps, but there are social norms most people follow.

Lol

 

[wenrob]

Understand the sentiment, but that basically would put a lot of wedding planners, bridal outfits, and venues out of business.

I doubt they'll be running out of over the top brides any time soon. I have two daughters, this mama won't be paying for any $10,000, $15,000, $20,000 weddings. Sure as heck not $100,000 and would never be any part of soliciting guests for cash in any capacity. Thank goodness so far it seems I've raised the oldest to have reasonable expectations and a sense of frugalness. I would hope my girls are like me and the only thing that matters to them is that groom shows up. If the wedding industry suffers for it, not my problem.

Like Vjoge we did everything ourselves. I even made my own cake topper and veil. Two years later my sister borrowed both when she got married. We're a crafty bunch that keeps the bigger picture in mind.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Wow. I've been lax. I'm going to have a 20 year after party to get more gifts and make the guests pay for it.