coaching and parent issues

[dolphindan1]

I coach basketball at a local school..I have coached the B-team for several years..This year I was asked to coach the JV...which I agreed to for a small salary...However I still coach the b-team, which is volunteer...this is a small school so there are never alot of players...we are lucky we keep the Bteam going...

this year...I have 13 kids between the 2 teams...only 2 are HS age that cant play b-team...So I decided to have 1 team to play all games just those couple wont dress on bteam..that way I can keep them together for practice etc etc....just easier really...

I have 5 or 6 middle school kids get alot of time on bteam and of course start just cause they have too...They also get time on the bteam but I also make it so the younger, less experienced kids get most of the time on bteam but all the kids get time at each level if it works out...only on JV if its a close game do the younger less experienced kids not get alot of time...but they dress out and get to experince the JV games..

Well I have never had an issue with parents till this year. We are 3-0 on Bteam and 9-2 on JV...so we are doing very good...However when I put those kids that get alot of time in on JV in a bteam game I have 1 or 2 parents that start screaming at me that this is a bteam game and that its stupid...stuff like that...I gave my 4 most experienced kids exactly 1 minute at the start of the 2nd qtr last game and soon as they went in those parents went crazy behind my bench...

The AD has seen 2 of our 3 bteam games and says what I am doing is fine...and he supports me....but its really getting to me and I am not sure what I should do...Do I just ignore it and not worry about it? Do I approach the parents? Any advice? hope all that is clear and makes sense...

thanks

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I coach basketball at a local school..I have coached the B-team for several years..This year I was asked to coach the JV...which I agreed to for a small salary...However I still coach the b-team, which is volunteer...this is a small school so there are never alot of players...we are lucky we keep the Bteam going...

this year...I have 13 kids between the 2 teams...only 2 are HS age that cant play b-team...So I decided to have 1 team to play all games just those couple wont dress on bteam..that way I can keep them together for practice etc etc....just easier really...

I have 5 or 6 middle school kids get alot of time on bteam and of course start just cause they have too...They also get time on the bteam but I also make it so the younger, less experienced kids get most of the time on bteam but all the kids get time at each level if it works out...only on JV if its a close game do the younger less experienced kids not get alot of time...but they dress out and get to experince the JV games..

Well I have never had an issue with parents till this year. We are 3-0 on Bteam and 9-2 on JV...so we are doing very good...However when I put those kids that get alot of time in on JV in a bteam game I have 1 or 2 parents that start screaming at me that this is a bteam game and that its stupid...stuff like that...I gave my 4 most experienced kids exactly 1 minute at the start of the 2nd qtr last game and soon as they went in those parents went crazy behind my bench...

The AD has seen 2 of our 3 bteam games and says what I am doing is fine...and he supports me....but its really getting to me and I am not sure what I should do...Do I just ignore it and not worry about it? Do I approach the parents? Any advice? hope all that is clear and makes sense...

thanks[/QUOTE/]


Are these parents of kids on your team?
Do your parents and kids not sign a code of conduct at the beginning of the season?

We do and we've had parents thrown out of games due to their behavior.

 

[dolphindan1]

I coach basketball at a local school..I have coached the B-team for several years..This year I was asked to coach the JV...which I agreed to for a small salary...However I still coach the b-team, which is volunteer...this is a small school so there are never alot of players...we are lucky we keep the Bteam going...

this year...I have 13 kids between the 2 teams...only 2 are HS age that cant play b-team...So I decided to have 1 team to play all games just those couple wont dress on bteam..that way I can keep them together for practice etc etc....just easier really...

I have 5 or 6 middle school kids get alot of time on bteam and of course start just cause they have too...They also get time on the bteam but I also make it so the younger, less experienced kids get most of the time on bteam but all the kids get time at each level if it works out...only on JV if its a close game do the younger less experienced kids not get alot of time...but they dress out and get to experince the JV games..

Well I have never had an issue with parents till this year. We are 3-0 on Bteam and 9-2 on JV...so we are doing very good...However when I put those kids that get alot of time in on JV in a bteam game I have 1 or 2 parents that start screaming at me that this is a bteam game and that its stupid...stuff like that...I gave my 4 most experienced kids exactly 1 minute at the start of the 2nd qtr last game and soon as they went in those parents went crazy behind my bench...

The AD has seen 2 of our 3 bteam games and says what I am doing is fine...and he supports me....but its really getting to me and I am not sure what I should do...Do I just ignore it and not worry about it? Do I approach the parents? Any advice? hope all that is clear and makes sense...

thanks[/QUOTE/]


Are these parents of kids on your team?
Do your parents and kids not sign a code of conduct at the beginning of the season?

We do and we've had parents thrown out of games due to their behavior.

Yes...parents of kids on my team

and

Yes...there is a code of conduct that has been signed

 

[teller80]

Help me understand. Of the 13 kids, only 2 HAVE to play JV, the others can play either JV or the B team?

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Yes...parents of kids on my team

and

Yes...there is a code of conduct that has been signed

Then to me it's unacceptable and something needs to be said. It was so bad one year at DS's school, a parent threatened the coach with bodily harm.
If u knew the parent in question , u would know he has the personality for it also.

At first , this parent was talked to about his bad behavior. It didn't stop so his kid sat the bench.
That's when the bodily harm threat came in.

His kid was banned from trying out again. It's a shame but this dad was a class A jerk. He unnerved the whole team and obviously the coach.
It also made the rest of us parents look bad.

Someone needs to nip it now. Why sign the code if its not enforced?

 

[java]

What are they complaining about? That their child isn't getting playing time? Gosh stuff like that makes me hate youth sports leagues.

 

[dolphindan1]

Help me understand. Of the 13 kids, only 2 HAVE to play JV, the others can play either JV or the B team?

Correct...

Bteam is 6,7,8th graders

JV is 6th -10th graders....

I have kids that are in 9th and 10th...they cannot play bteam...the rest of my JV starters are 7th and 8th graders...but all the 6th, 7th and 8th dress for JV and I try to get them all some playing time...

Here is another issue that I didnt explain...being this is 2 teams, I have no assistant...we play 5 days a week...so I cant practice...I have been using the bteam games as a practice time to work on things here and there with the ones who play alot on JV...its the only time I get a chance to do that...but they have yet to play a full qtr on bteam...last game it was for one minute to practice a defense to get ready for a region JV game...does that make sense?

 

[dolphindan1]

What are they complaining about? That their child isn't getting playing time? Gosh stuff like that makes me hate youth sports leagues.

actually that the other kids play too much...which translates to their kid doesnt play enough...but there kids played 3 1/2 qtrs last bteam game...Oh and this is actually a school...not rec league

 

[java]

Sounds like it is time to drop the b team. If it is only 6 th graders that can't try out for jv why not just let them? One team since that is basically how it is working out now. Plus then you can have practice.
Also may be time for a parents meeting. Laying out the issues give them a choice , either it stays the way it is and they zip it, or you drop the b team and just focus on jv. Remind them that it is a volunteer position to coach the b team and they are more than e to step up to take over.

 

[bballmom56]

As a veteran parent of many, many years of rec., travel, high school and AAU basketball on all levels and both genders, I sympathize with you. I sometimes wonder why coaches are willing to coach given the issues they have to deal with.

You have the support of your AD. Maybe he can talk to the parents? If not, you will just have to ignore them. Do what you need to do to produce a successful basketball team (and "success" does not always mean wins). We were very lucky to have only one vocal parent over the years who was out to get the coach fired which he ultimately did, though it was after his kid left the team. His kid also ended up quitting the team in the middle of the season which kind of divided the kids who were left (those that supported that kid and those that did not).

Good luck, you have a very tough job!

 

[teller80]

What are they complaining about? That their child isn't getting playing time? Gosh stuff like that makes me hate youth sports leagues.

I agree. Sounds like OP is doing the best he can to get playing time for all, but at what point in sports does it become more about ability and less about equal playing time?

Also, you mentioned you can't practice because you don't have an assistant. Won't any of your parents step up and help you?? That's too bad.

 

[dolphindan1]

Sounds like it is time to drop the b team. If it is only 6 th graders that can't try out for jv why not just let them? One team since that is basically how it is working out now. Plus then you can have practice.
Also may be time for a parents meeting. Laying out the issues give them a choice , either it stays the way it is and they zip it, or you drop the b team and just focus on jv. Remind them that it is a volunteer position to coach the b team and they are more than e to step up to take over.

Sorry that was suppose to be 6th thru 10th...the 6th graders do dress out and I do my best to get them time on JV when I can

 

[dolphindan1]

I agree. Sounds like OP is doing the best he can to get playing time for all, but at what point in sports does it become more about ability and less about equal playing time?

Also, you mentioned you can't practice because you don't have an assistant. Won't any of your parents step up and help you?? That's too bad.

Yeah...they couldnt find a Bteam coach this year...so I kinda felt obligated to coach it again...I thought it would work out and really it has for the most part but its kinda being ruined by these couple of moms..

 

[sam_gordon]

I think it would be nice to have a sit down conversation with the parents, or at least offer. This can be done right after a practice (don't do it after a game). Explain your philosophy and what you're trying to do.

It sounds like you're doing the right thing. Not every coach does. My DD played softball for her middle school team (6-8). 8th graders could only play the 'A' game, 6&7 could play A or B. She got a new coach her 8th grade year who's DD was a 6th grader. My DD played the A games, and occasionally pitched, doing well, not great. When it came time for district tournament, she didn't play at all in the first round and they won. In the second round, her team was getting beat pretty handily (6 or 7 to 1 I think). My DD is still on the bench. Did the new coach put the 8th grader in the field for the end of the last game of the season? No, he put in his DD. My DD sat on the bench for the last two games of her middle school career. She hasn't picked up a softball since.

Sorry, off topic, but this still bothers me two years later.

 

[luvsJack]

Can you or the AD not tell these parents in no uncertain terms that if they have an issue with coaching they are welcome to meet with you and him after the game or at some other time but they would not be allowed to sit in the stands and yell at you or any other coach?

Even in rec league, that was the number one rule of every coach ds had. Especially in high school, offending parents would be asked to be quiet or leave.

 

[scoutie]

I'm not surprised. When I leave my teaching job, it will be because of the parents.

Can you or the AD not tell these parents in no uncertain terms that if they have an issue with coaching they are welcome to meet with you and him after the game or at some other time but they would not be allowed to sit in the stands and yell at you or any other coach?

That. I would also suggest that you tell them if they think they can do your job better, they are welcome to it.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I just want to preface this with saying that I volunteer A LOT. I get it that you are trying to let all the kids have a great experience. However, if I am being honest I think you took on too much. You don't have time for a real practice and you are juggling both teams. That doesn't seem fair to either team. That is why you are probably having problems with the parents. They feel slighted. Not just with playing time but not having actual practices is a huge thing. Games are not practice time. You can't work on your lay up in a game. You can't practice your defense moves in a game. You can't work on new plays in a game. I think it is just causing strife because neither team is getting 100%. I understand both sides of the issue but honestly I think you had great intentions but the reality of the situation is much different. JMHO.

 

[dolphindan1]

I just want to preface this with saying that I volunteer A LOT. I get it that you are trying to let all the kids have a great experience. However, if I am being honest I think you took on too much. You don't have time for a real practice and you are juggling both teams. That doesn't seem fair to either team. That is why you are probably having problems with the parents. They feel slighted. Not just with playing time but not having actual practices is a huge thing. Games are not practice time. You can't work on your lay up in a game. You can't practice your defense moves in a game. You can't work on new plays in a game. I think it is just causing strife because neither team is getting 100%. I understand both sides of the issue but honestly I think you had great intentions but the reality of the situation is much different. JMHO.

I agree..Like I said earlier...they couldnt find anyone else so I said I would do it...I had planned on JV only...its tough on me for sure and its not fair to either team...I agree but right now it is what it is and there is no turning back....So now I am just trying to figure out how to deal with this situation...next year if I do it again...will be JV only

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Why not have a parent meeting? Then you can explain in a non confrontational way that you realize this isn't the ideal situation but you are trying the best that you can. That you would welcome a parent volunteer etc. Maybe they will be more sympathetic?

 

[Janepod]

Around here there is always a parent meeting at the beginning of the season where the coach addresses this (along with expectations regarding attendance, notifying coach if missing practice, etc.) How about something like that?