Coming to grips with the fact that I cannot afford to go to Disney.

[Alucard84]

My wife talked me into going to Disney World for the first time in 2018. We were mostly debt free and we financed the trip using our income tax refund. I wish I hadn't went at all. I've become obsessed with the place and I constantly think about going back. We did go back in March of 2019. We had accumulated some debt in the time-frame in between the trips and we again financed the trip with our income tax refund. A better use of it would have been paying debt. Fast forward to now. Over $20000 in debt due to a lack of self control and immaturity. I've borrowed student loans to pay off credit cards only to turn around and fill the cards up again. Things could be worse I guess. I make the average income for my area($35000/yr) so at least I'm average.

 

[Marionnette]

My wife talked me into going to Disney World for the first time in 2018. We were mostly debt free and we financed the trip using our income tax refund. I wish I hadn't went at all. I've become obsessed with the place and I constantly think about going back. We did go back in March of 2019. We had accumulated some debt in the time-frame in between the trips and we again financed the trip with our income tax refund. A better use of it would have been paying debt. Fast forward to now. Over $20000 in debt due to a lack of self control and immaturity. I've borrowed student loans to pay off credit cards only to turn around and fill the cards up again. Things could be worse I guess. I make the average income for my area($35000/yr) so at least I'm average.

OUCH!

That debt really piled up! At least you acknowledge that you made some poor financial decisions. Now you need a plan to pay down that debt so that you can go to Disney, or vacation in the Bahamas or purchase whatever luxury you desire without feeling guilty.

There are lots of debt-free gurus out there who can set you on the right path. Some people on here swear by Dave Ramsey’s snowball method. I hope things begin to turn around for you. Disney will still be there when you get out from under your debts.

 

[RamblingMad]

My wife talked me into going to Disney World for the first time in 2018. We were mostly debt free and we financed the trip using our income tax refund. I wish I hadn't went at all. I've become obsessed with the place and I constantly think about going back. We did go back in March of 2019. We had accumulated some debt in the time-frame in between the trips and we again financed the trip with our income tax refund. A better use of it would have been paying debt. Fast forward to now. Over $20000 in debt due to a lack of self control and immaturity. I've borrowed student loans to pay off credit cards only to turn around and fill the cards up again. Things could be worse I guess. I make the average income for my area($35000/yr) so at least I'm average.

When I made that Disney wasn’t on my radar.I find that going to WDW costs more than Hawaii. My trips at that income were exclusively camping trips.

Now I make a lot more, but I find DL a better value for my time and money. If you haven’t gone, I suggest checking it out and staying at a off property local hotel. It’s much cheaper.

 

[QueenIsabella]

Acknowledging that you have a (debt) problem is the first step towards fixing it. Maybe you can use a Disney trip as an incentive to pay off your debts, and take a paid-for trip down the line.

 

[kirstyfly]

I don't know about in your country but here in New Zealand there are a few companies/banks that will let you consolidate debt (they take all your debts pay them off then you have just one debt (payment) with the company).

Also look around your house anything you don't use that is taking up space you can sell on the local facebook buy/sell or market place without any fees. That money could go straight towards your debt.

Do you have a spare room and are you able to take in a roomate to get some extra money into the house ?

 

[robinb]

I admire that you realize that you can’t continue to use your tax refund to bankroll Disney while your debt increases. Disney will be there after you dig yourself out of debt. $20k is a lot, but you can do it.

 

[momof2gr8kids]

Check out the Debt Dumpers forum here on the budget board.

https://www.disboards.com/threads/debt-dumpers-2020.3781306/
Great group of Dis'ers that are very supportive of each other in their quest to pay off debt. Lots of good ideas on there and a great motivation!

 

[Tallis]

Move to Florida and buy a cheap, used camper and a weekday AP. Worked for me.

 

[houstonmama]

Getting into debit is easy and getting out is hard but you can do it! I watch TBM (The budget mom) videos on youtube and really love her budgeting strategy. You don't have to be a mom (obviously), she just happens to be one hence the name of her channel.

 

[MillauFr]

Move to an area of the country that has high incomes and moderate cost of living. That is how we are able to afford to go often.

 

[theluckyrabbit]

Good for you for realizing that you have a debt problem. That is the first (hard) step in the right direction. Many DISers understand where you are coming from. The Debt Dumpers thread (https://www.disboards.com/threads/debt-dumpers-2020.3781306/) is a great one -- join in! Have you talked to your wife about this? It is super important that you both be on the same page with this and working together to get out of debt so that you can both move forward together. Make a debt free, paid for Disney trip your reward goal for paying off the debt -- that trip will feel so good when you get there (and you can get there)!

 

[Dakota731]

I’m going to say the same as others on this thread. Congratulations for realizing you have a problem since that’s the first step to fixing the debt issue. I also second turning to Dave Ramsey for helpful advice and solutions. Once you get through this you will feel like a weight has been lifted, and you will be able to sleep at night. Good luck to you!

 

[Darcy03231]

One method I've found helpful for making a budget was to write down all of our monthly income and then list all of our monthly expenses. You can use your bank statements from prior months - it will give you a good idea where the money is going. Then categorize your spending into necessary and unnecessary expenses. You'd be surprised at how much you might be spending on stuff that you don't think about (coffee on your way to work, lunch out, etc). When shopping make a list and stick to it. This will most likely free up some cash to put toward your debt. If there are things that you can cancel - gym memberships you don't use, cable, etc. that will also free up more cash.

I know most people advocate that you not go on any trips until you have your debt paid off, but like any kind of a diet the odds of you sticking to it without some kind of reward on a regular basis are slim. I would earmark a small amount each week, say $25 to put into a vacation savings account. Once you have enough to do something you would enjoy, take a long weekend away. It may not be Disney, but it would be something.

 

[PerfessorZ]

Well, if there's any time to take a break from Disney, it's right now with the parks not even being open.

That said, I understand (somewhat) what you're going through. I'd taken my family on a handful of Disney trips over the past 4 or 5 years, when, while not going in debt to do so, I wasn't saving as much as I should have been. Fast forward to my job of 22 years being downsized, and then being unemployed or unemployed for 18 months and the credit card debt built up in a hurry. This year was the first in awhile that I had to disappoint the kids and tell them no Mickey this year. The good news is that I've moved to a more affordable area, gotten a new job, and the debt could be gone in as short as a couple months, but at most 2 more years. (Lots of variables and details I've left out.)

Anyway, yes, I understand the desire to go back, even when it's not financially prudent, but taking a year or two off to bolster your bottom line will make it that much more enjoyable the next time you can go. I'll be sitting on the sidelines with you.

 

[MrsPete]

Multiple thoughts:

- You're out of control (your debt-to-income ratio is outrageous), but you know it. Knowing is the first step in fixing the problem.
- You say you took out student loans to pay off credit cards. You can NEVER borrow your way out of debt. Restructuring debt is just moving the deck chairs on the Titanic.
- Get rid of your credit cards. You have a bad track record with them.
- You jokingly (I hope jokingly) say you're average. The average American is in debt and poorly prepared for retirement. Do not aim to be average.
- In another thread you say you're planning a trip in March, June or October. Bad idea. Your budget is on fire right now, and another Disney trip is a luxury you can't afford.
- In the entire world, there're only three ways -- only three ways! -- get out of debt: earn more, spend less, or both earn more AND spend less.
- In another thread you say that you're in retail. That's not a field that'll allow you to move up financially. You have student loans, so does that mean you have a degree? What can you do to move into a higher-paying job?
- Can you pick up a second job (short term) job until you have the debt paid-off? I know, doing that while you have two small children isn't a great idea, but neither is carrying all this debt.
- How can you lower your expenses? Can you get rid of cable TV, cut out fast food, brown bag your lunch, buy fewer clothes? LOTS of the things we buy are not necessities -- look seriously at where you can slash your budget. Don't say, "I don't want to give this up, or giving that up wouldn't be convenient." You're in trouble, and whatever you do will not be easy.
- Do you have two cars? Consider getting rid of one (yes, you can -- not easily, but you can). We did that for the first three years of our marriage, and it was a HUGE money saver -- really helped us get a good start /allowed us to stash away a bunch of money early in our adult lives.
- You have a one-year old? Are you paying child care? Could you start working opposite hours to eliminate child care? Do you have a relative who might help? OR, if your wife isn't working, can she take on a part-time job (while you're home) to bring in some money? Again, not convenient, not pleasant, but neither is staying in debt -- and if you can do something like this /bite the bullet, you'll get out of this situation in a hurry. If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll likely owe more in another year or two.
- You have a six-year old? You MUST get your financial situation under control before your kids are teens. Teens are more expensive than you expect, and if you aren't back on track by that point, you almost certainly won't "catch up" during that time frame -- and then suddenly you'll be on the cusp of retirement. NOW is the best time you'll ever have to fix this problem.
- Given your circumstances, moving to Orlando sounds like a pretty good idea -- after the current Corona crisis is over. At the moment, focus on paying off debt.

Good luck.

 

[Pesky]

I think you've received a lot of good advice here (I agree Dave Ramsey is pretty good and the success stories are encouraging) but something I would add: while you love Disney and really want to go back, realize Disney trips can quickly add expenses. APs aren't cheap and once you are there, Disney has kindly thrown up lots of things to try and get more money from souvenirs (including special ones for AP holders that can trigger FOMO) to great treats to immersive dining experiences. I know this seems almost blasphemy on a Disney board but I'm going to advise you NOT to go back. At least not for a long while. Two things: a Disney trip a ways out, like 5 years, in a financial road map designed to reduce your debt load gives you a great incentive to work towards. Second, there are so many things you can do to get a Disney fix in the interim that can be free or nearly there. Disney movies -- you could even rent for free from your local library. Books about Disney you can get from the library. YouTube has a number of folks who post great streaming of music from the parks (I use that music to do chores and work). You can even try making those Disney treats at home and having Disney movie nights with themed food (family board had a thread on this a while ago I think). Long story short, I'd look to get your Disney enjoyment as cheaply as you can while making debt reduction and repayment a number one priority. Once you have that taken care of and have worked to get more solvent and financially secure (i.e. having a good emergency fund, parking away money for retirement, etc.), those Disney vacations can be a more regular occurrence.

 

[tvguy]

My parents grew up in the depression so financial responsibility was drilled into my head. My wife's parents were younger, but were of a similar mindset. W have deviated a bit though. We were the first generation to have a mortgage. My parents and my in laws saved and paid cash for VERY modest homes, almost a shack for my parents at $2,500. And we are the first to get an auto loan, instead of pay cash.
We are the same with vacations, and have stuck with it, pay cash or don't go. I did take out a parent loan for our son's College, but it was paid off 3 years after he finished. And we could have paid cash for his college, but wanted to preserve cash for his 4 year younger sister's college. Her's we did pay cash for.

 

[focusondisney]

My wife talked me into going to Disney World for the first time in 2018. We were mostly debt free and we financed the trip using our income tax refund. I wish I hadn't went at all. I've become obsessed with the place and I constantly think about going back. We did go back in March of 2019. We had accumulated some debt in the time-frame in between the trips and we again financed the trip with our income tax refund. A better use of it would have been paying debt. Fast forward to now. Over $20000 in debt due to a lack of self control and immaturity. I've borrowed student loans to pay off credit cards only to turn around and fill the cards up again. Things could be worse I guess. I make the average income for my area($35000/yr) so at least I'm average.

Let me make sure I’ve got this straight.......you make $35,000 a year & have 2 small kids. In 2 years you have gotten over $20,000 in debt plus taken 2 Disney vacations. You have student loans & credit cards debt, so I’m assuming this is way more than car loans & a mortgage. I’m also assuming your wife‘s income isn’t much more than yours. Racking up half your income in impulse generated consumer debt is not average. Let alone doing over the course of 2 years. Lack of self control & immaturity is more than an understatement. Seriously, you need way more help than the budget board here can give you. Maybe instead of being obsessed with taking your kids on a Disney vacation, you should be obsessed with keeping a roof over their heads & food on their table. Coz you sound a small setback away from disaster IMO. Stop thinking about what you want & more about what your kids need. Or don’t. After all, you want another Disney vacation. Heck with anything else.

 

[rascooby]

Good thing to realize. Unless they live close, most people can't afford it. My husband makes a good living and we can't afford Disney every year. We go every 3-4 years and we save up to make that possible. Other years we do less expensive vacations and we have just as much fun. Even if we could afford it, I want my kids to have other experiences. We love to rent beach houses or cabins and hang out and explore. Kids get more and more expensive, so I wouldn't be setting up expectations for things that you can't afford.

 

[okeydokey]

The first time I went to Disney was also the first time my kids went to Disney and I was in my late 30's, pushing 40. Things were a lot harder than they are now, and our financial situation has improved every year. This can happen for you too You can be in a much better place two years from now, especially since you realize you need to make some changes. There is nothing better than a good night's sleep because you are more financially stable, and that should be your goal right now. Disney will be there for you when you are able. Good luck, you can do this!