Cool DNA story

[Tinijocaro]

Wow-first of all, I haven't been on these boards in a while, not sure how long.

Here's my story:

Last Friday night I was cleaning out my yahoo email and saw two emails from 23 and me from the same person. She said "Hello, you're my aunt and I believe your brother is my father. I've been looking for my dad for 37 years."

Of course it was midnight. My sisters (3 of them) were asleep. Everyone was asleep. I couldn't sleep at all! My brother is 64 and has no children. His wife has four daughters and a bunch of grandchildren that he considers his.

Next morning my sisters and I do a conference call so I can tell them all the news at the same time and ask for advice. Do I tell my brother? Do I stay out of it and assume he knows already? What if he is not an email checker and doesn't know?

I ended up calling him and asking if he has checked his 23 and me messages lately. Long story short, he was in huge denial about it at first but by the next day he had already contacted his daugher and they've been talking on the phone and texting ever since. He lives in Florida and she lives in NY state, where my sisters and I live. My dad is still living and will turn 95 soon. He didn't believe my brother when he told him!

Anyways, I have a new niece, my brother is now a dad and my dad has another granddaughter. My family is very excited about the whole thing and are hoping to meet her when my brother comes up in August to visit.

I'd love to hear some other ancestry stories!

 

[DisneyDebbie]

That is wonderful to hear and Congrats on the new family member.

A bit of my story- I'm an adoptee and I did 23andme as well as Ancestry. I matched with a sister right away (we share a father) My biological father didn't know I existed either and it was quite a shock, It took about 2 months for him to wrap his mind around it. He thought he had 3 girls and now has 4. I am fully embraced and we enjoy many family gatherings. It has been a true blessing for me to gain this knowledge and perspective, and I never knew I was missing this internal contentment

The really fascinating part is that as a dance teacher, I come into contact with many children and families. I had taught my niece dance for 4 years without knowing it! I was already friends with her mom (my sister)!!

 

[Tinijocaro]

That is wonderful to hear and Congrats on the new family member.

A bit of my story- I'm an adoptee and I did 23andme as well as Ancestry. I matched with a sister right away (we share a father) My biological father didn't know I existed either and it was quite a shock, It took about 2 months for him to wrap his mind around it. He thought he had 3 girls and now has 4. I am fully embraced and we enjoy many family gatherings. It has been a true blessing for me to gain this knowledge and perspective, and I never knew I was missing this internal contentment The really fascinating part is that as a dance teacher, I come into contact with many children and families. I had taught my niece dance for 4 years without knowing it! I was already friends with her mom (my sister)!!

That's crazy that you were already teaching your niece and knew your sister. We had a couple things like that with our situation. One of my nieces went to college with the new niece-they were in the same department and worked on group projects together!

 

[robinb]

First of all, I'm glad that your family is happy with the news! Good for you .

However, this kind of story is exactly why I have never shared my DNA with any of those places like 23 And Me or Ancestry. I am not curious enough about my ancestry to open myself up to finding out about random relatives. I don't think there are any hiding anywhere but I have zero interest meeting them if they exist.

 

[DisneyDebbie]

First of all, I'm glad that your family is happy with the news! Good for you .

However, this kind of story is exactly why I have never shared my DNA with any of those places like 23 And Me or Ancestry. I am not curious enough about my ancestry to open myself up to finding out about random relatives. I don't think there are any hiding anywhere but I have zero interest meeting them if they exist.

My husband feels the same as you!

 

[luvthatduke]

Also, I believe what you consider
"your" DNA is not protected and can and will be sold.

 

[mousefan73]

First of all, I'm glad that your family is happy with the news! Good for you .

However, this kind of story is exactly why I have never shared my DNA with any of those places like 23 And Me or Ancestry. I am not curious enough about my ancestry to open myself up to finding out about random relatives. I don't think there are any hiding anywhere but I have zero interest meeting them if they exist.

Same with me. I’m pretty sure these DNA tests are very polar. You have some people who are thrilled and some families that are torn apart. My cousins found a half-sister that confirm the fact that their dad had cheated on their mother. Both parents are deceased, but the half sister found them. Me personally I’d be devastated if I found out I had a half sibling somewhere out there.

 

[DisneyOma]

Same with me. I’m pretty sure these DNA tests are very polar. You have some people who are thrilled and some families that are torn apart. My cousins found a half-sister that confirm the fact that their dad had cheated on their mother. Both parents are deceased, but the half sister found them. Me personally I’d be devastated if I found out I had a half sibling somewhere out there.

Why? It's not the sibling's fault, not your fault, and if it happened, it happened.

 

[DisneyOma]

Husband and I have each done both Ancestry and 23 and Me. He's found one "new" cousin, and I've found 3 and a murder mystery

 

[leebee]

Same with me. I’m pretty sure these DNA tests are very polar. You have some people who are thrilled and some families that are torn apart. My cousins found a half-sister that confirm the fact that their dad had cheated on their mother.

I won't go into my family's story here as I shared it about 20 years ago and took on a ton of abuse, but yes... this doesn't always end well.

 

[Disney Ella]

Husband and I have each done both Ancestry and 23 and Me. He's found one "new" cousin, and I've found 3 and a murder mystery

That sounds interesting. What is the murder mystery?

 

[DisneyOma]

That sounds interesting. What is the murder mystery?

Not sure how much I should go into online, as it is mostly speculation (all involved have passed away) but my oldest uncle fathered two daughters with his best friend's married mother. This is what we figured out with the DNA testing. Uncle then drowned in a lake while out sailing with the best friend (or it could have been the husband, as they have the same name). Uncle was an excellent swimmer, and was joining the coast guard. He was only 20 when he died. So, growing up, it was all about how odd it was that my uncle, an avid sailor and swimmer, drowned while the other person survived. Knowing that he fathered 2 children with the mother of the family he was with when he died - makes us all go "hmmmmmmm".

 

[CGB]

OP, that is quite a story and I'm happy for your family.

DH was deployed to Dhahran immediately after the Khobar Towers bombing in 1996 as a squad leader of 12 airmen. One of the them was an Italian immigrant named Roberto who had just gotten his U.S. citizenship and was around 20-21 years old. DH was proud of him during the deployment because he'd performed well. As they were coming back, there was a freak accident on the flightline and Roberto received a head injury and knocked unconscious. Unfortunately, Roberto was left behind for medical reasons (irreversible coma) and his father traveled to Saudi Arabia to terminate life support. My husband and his squad were completely devastated. We had memorials and erected a monument on base in his honor. Years later, my husband got an email out of the blue from a young man, graduating high school and joining the Air Force, who said he was Roberto's son. It turned out Roberto's girlfriend found out she was pregnant while he was deployed. We never knew. The son wanted to know about his dad and what had happened. Even through the tears and lingering grief, it felt so good to know a part of Roberto lives on.

Another quick story: we recently found the burial site (in 1950) of DH's half-brother, which had been a mystery for decades in his family. His father had been married/divorced before DH's mom and had a baby that died. DH's mom refused to ever talk about the previous marriage/baby, so no one really knew where he was buried. The cemetery is massive and only a certain cousin knew the location (who lives in AL now). This past spring DH's sister decided to find it. We searched and searched where they thought the gravesite would be... and then I finally found it on findagrave.com (what a great site!) We went back and walked straight to the grave! We've since cleaned the rock and put flowers on it.

If you're interested in geneaology, definitely check out the findagrave website. I was stunned how much of my own family history is on it.

 

[loves to dive]

So far I've discovered 2 first cousins. My Daddy's brother was a bit of a rouge and fathered kids all over the place. He disappeared when I was a little girl and no one has heard from him since. I had discovered one of his sons while looking on a message board from the small Georgia town where Daddy grew up. The son was looking for his father. We emailed a bit but I couldn't help him. Then another son found our grandmother, again in the small Georgia town, easy enough to do since she had never left there. He was in contact with her and met with her a few times and came to her funeral. He has since died of cancer. Then I got hits to these two women as my first cousins. I knew immediately how we were related since I knew all my other cousins and since it was on Daddy's side of the DNA it was obvious. One of them messaged me through Ancestry asking about her father. Her mother had told her he was also married to a couple of women while married to her. She found a half sister on Ancestry. The half sister had a half sister by another father who was actually a professional genealogist so she had discovered who their father was but couldn't get any further. None of them knew anything about that side of the family. I could tell them all about our grandmother, my Daddy and our half aunt (my grandmother was a bit of a run about herself and married 3 times). I only knew a little about their father since I never met him but had heard stories from my Daddy and my mother who did know him. I told the cousin who emailed me that I wasn't sure if he was married to one woman at the same time, I was pretty sure he wasn't actually legally married to any of them. I told her about her other two brother's and gave her the email of the one I had. We have a 2 times great grandfather that I've never been able to trace and even the pro. hasn't had any luck. Seems every generation there is one man on that side of the family that just disappears off the face of the earth (I have a brother that has done it in our generation). I only had one picture of him as a kid with my Daddy. I have a couple of other mystery pictures of a grown man that are either him or our grandfather (the one in that generation that also disappeared but Daddy found right before he died). My Daddy died a while ago and so has Mama so I have no one to ask who would actually know who the man in the picture was. My aunt's father was a different man and she never met the brother in question and, of course, never knew my grandfather. Gotta love families.

 

[kymom99]

I know a young lady who found her father through one of those services. Her mom always maintained that her ex husband was her father, but it was proven years ago that wasn’t the case. So she grew up thinking her father didn’t want her. She was able to identify her father and now has a relationship with him. She is not happy with her mother who lied for nearly 40 years, but at least she has answers now.

 

[TippyThomas]

I'm adopted and neither of my birth parents had siblings. As I have no family left that I am aware of, I sent mine in and confirmed that when I pass away my family will be gone as well. I guess I'm the rare case where nothing hidden was discovered.

 

[GAN]

Wow …THAT is a great story! Thanks for sharing….

 

[kdonnel]

The stories don’t always turn out so happy.

A cousin of mine was contacted by a woman saying she thought she was his sister. She also contacted his sister. He did not react well and neither did his mom. The other sister was indifferent.

The moms response was, I didn’t want you then, I don’t want anything to do with you now.

In the end it was the talk of the family for weeks. Some of the family has remained in contact with the long lost relative but the majority have said they don’t want to have anything to do with her.

I’m glad your family reacted better.

I still remember multiple young woman with babies showing up at my parents doors looking for my brother. Some were forthcoming in saying they were looking for child support, others just moved on when told we didn’t know his location. I wonder how many nieces and nephews I have but don’t know about?

 

[tvguy]

The stories don’t always turn out so happy.

A cousin of mine was contacted by a woman saying she thought she was his sister. She also contacted his sister. He did not react well and neither did his mom. The other sister was indifferent.

The moms response was, I didn’t want you then, I don’t want anything to do with you now.

In the end it was the talk of the family for weeks. Some of the family has remained in contact with the long lost relative but the majority have said they don’t want to have anything to do with her.

I’m glad your family reacted better.

I still remember multiple young woman with babies showing up at my parents doors looking for my brother. Some were forthcoming in saying they were looking for child support, others just moved on when told we didn’t know his location. I wonder how many nieces and nephews I have but don’t know about?

My cousins and I all had the same experience with our parents regarding a half sibling of theirs who was born to our Grandmother 8 years before our Grandparents were married. My mom had 2 full sisters and 2 full brothers (one who died two days after being born). All of my cousins knew this half sibling and her husband, but some thought she was a family friend of our parents, not a half sister and our Aunt. But ALL of our parents reacted the same when any of us asked about who her father was. "That's not your concern, don't ask again" was the stern response we all got. All of our parents died within a few months of each other 10 years ago, and one of my cousins did find a birth certificate and death certificate for our Aunt. No father listed on either. It was a different time for use, including the fact that our Grandparents marriage was arraigned, they only met once before they got married.

 

[Mle8308]

Also, I believe what you consider
"your" DNA is not protected and can and will be sold.

Exactly, that is why the cost of the kits are low. Your results are sold - research and pharmecutical companies. Big no for me.