Dads in the Ladies' Room?

[Luv Bunnies]

I had never encountered this situation before, but have now seen it happen twice this week. Should dads with young daughters take them into the men's room, or the ladies' room?

Last weekend, I was in a large mall and saw a dad with two small kids (a girl around 4-years old and a boy around 5 or 6-years old) walk into the ladies' room. He took both kids into a stall and shut the door. After using the stall, they walked to the sink, washed their hands and left. Other ladies walked in and were clearly taken aback at the sight of a man in there. Right next to the ladies' room was a family restroom. I definitely think the dad should have taken his kids in there. It was a single-use restroom and there were several families waiting. I suspect he didn't want to wait. But should he have taken the kids into the ladies' room or the men's room?

The other day, I was on a field trip to a small community farm with my preschool class. We had lots of parents with us. This place had small public restrooms (the ladies' room had two stalls). I walked into the ladies' room and saw one of our dads in there with his 3-year old daughter. I decided to wait outside until they were done. I just didn't feel comfortable using a stall next to one of my classroom dads. I have taken this little girl to the restroom many times at school, and I know she takes a long time in there. I stood outside for close to 10 minutes while they finished up. I don't know if the dad also used the restroom while they were in there. Perhaps he didn't want to take his daughter into a men's room and possibly walk her by a man using the urinal?

I always took my young sons into the ladies' room and walked them directly to a stall. It never occurred to me to take them into the men's room. I know that all-gender restrooms are becoming more popular, however, people can decide if they are comfortable using them. If you see a sign on the door that says "ladies" or "men", you should be able to safely assume that there aren't adults of the other gender in there.

So, should dads use the ladies' room with their young daughters, or should they take them into the men's room (assuming a family restroom is not available)?

 

[Shanti]

I had never encountered this situation before, but have now seen it happen twice this week. Should dads with young daughters take them into the men's room, or the ladies' room?

Last weekend, I was in a large mall and saw a dad with two small kids (a girl around 4-years old and a boy around 5 or 6-years old) walk into the ladies' room. He took both kids into a stall and shut the door. After using the stall, they walked to the sink, washed their hands and left. Other ladies walked in and were clearly taken aback at the sight of a man in there. Right next to the ladies' room was a family restroom. I definitely think the dad should have taken his kids in there. It was a single-use restroom and there were several families waiting. I suspect he didn't want to wait. But should he have taken the kids into the ladies' room or the men's room?

The other day, I was on a field trip to a small community farm with my preschool class. We had lots of parents with us. This place had small public restrooms (the ladies' room had two stalls). I walked into the ladies' room and saw one of our dads in there with his 3-year old daughter. I decided to wait outside until they were done. I just didn't feel comfortable using a stall next to one of my classroom dads. I have taken this little girl to the restroom many times at school, and I know she takes a long time in there. I stood outside for close to 10 minutes while they finished up. I don't know if the dad also used the restroom while they were in there. Perhaps he didn't want to take his daughter into a men's room and possibly walk her by a man using the urinal?

I always took my young sons into the ladies' room and walked them directly to a stall. It never occurred to me to take them into the men's room. I know that all-gender restrooms are becoming more popular, however, people can decide if they are comfortable using them. If you see a sign on the door that says "ladies" or "men", you should be able to safely assume that there aren't adults of the other gender in there.

So, should dads use the ladies' room with their young daughters, or should they take them into the men's room (assuming a family restroom is not available)?

It doesn't matter. When there is no family restroom available, there is not going to be a perfect solution.

 

[Southernmiss]

I had never encountered this situation before, but have now seen it happen twice this week. Should dads with young daughters take them into the men's room, or the ladies' room?

Last weekend, I was in a large mall and saw a dad with two small kids (a girl around 4-years old and a boy around 5 or 6-years old) walk into the ladies' room. He took both kids into a stall and shut the door. After using the stall, they walked to the sink, washed their hands and left. Other ladies walked in and were clearly taken aback at the sight of a man in there. Right next to the ladies' room was a family restroom. I definitely think the dad should have taken his kids in there. It was a single-use restroom and there were several families waiting. I suspect he didn't want to wait. But should he have taken the kids into the ladies' room or the men's room?

The other day, I was on a field trip to a small community farm with my preschool class. We had lots of parents with us. This place had small public restrooms (the ladies' room had two stalls). I walked into the ladies' room and saw one of our dads in there with his 3-year old daughter. I decided to wait outside until they were done. I just didn't feel comfortable using a stall next to one of my classroom dads. I have taken this little girl to the restroom many times at school, and I know she takes a long time in there. I stood outside for close to 10 minutes while they finished up. I don't know if the dad also used the restroom while they were in there. Perhaps he didn't want to take his daughter into a men's room and possibly walk her by a man using the urinal?

I always took my young sons into the ladies' room and walked them directly to a stall. It never occurred to me to take them into the men's room. I know that all-gender restrooms are becoming more popular, however, people can decide if they are comfortable using them. If you see a sign on the door that says "ladies" or "men", you should be able to safely assume that there aren't adults of the other gender in there.

So, should dads use the ladies' room with their young daughters, or should they take them into the men's room (assuming a family restroom is not available)?

I would think family restroom.

But I'm also one who thinks there need to be more family restrooms available.

At home there are not men's rooms and ladies' rooms. We all use the same one.

Dh always took our sons in the men's room and I took dd in the ladies' room.

I think we as an American society became too 'proper' with different sex bathrooms.

 

[leebee]

At home there are not separate men's and women's bathrooms, but while we all use the same one, we are not using it at the same time!

 

[Hikergirl]

I had never encountered this situation before, but have now seen it happen twice this week. Should dads with young daughters take them into the men's room, or the ladies' room?

Last weekend, I was in a large mall and saw a dad with two small kids (a girl around 4-years old and a boy around 5 or 6-years old) walk into the ladies' room. He took both kids into a stall and shut the door. After using the stall, they walked to the sink, washed their hands and left. Other ladies walked in and were clearly taken aback at the sight of a man in there. Right next to the ladies' room was a family restroom. I definitely think the dad should have taken his kids in there. It was a single-use restroom and there were several families waiting. I suspect he didn't want to wait. But should he have taken the kids into the ladies' room or the men's room?

The other day, I was on a field trip to a small community farm with my preschool class. We had lots of parents with us. This place had small public restrooms (the ladies' room had two stalls). I walked into the ladies' room and saw one of our dads in there with his 3-year old daughter. I decided to wait outside until they were done. I just didn't feel comfortable using a stall next to one of my classroom dads. I have taken this little girl to the restroom many times at school, and I know she takes a long time in there. I stood outside for close to 10 minutes while they finished up. I don't know if the dad also used the restroom while they were in there. Perhaps he didn't want to take his daughter into a men's room and possibly walk her by a man using the urinal?

I always took my young sons into the ladies' room and walked them directly to a stall. It never occurred to me to take them into the men's room. I know that all-gender restrooms are becoming more popular, however, people can decide if they are comfortable using them. If you see a sign on the door that says "ladies" or "men", you should be able to safely assume that there aren't adults of the other gender in there.

So, should dads use the ladies' room with their young daughters, or should they take them into the men's room (assuming a family restroom is not available)?

I think men should bring their small kids in to the men's room because of the bolded. And yes it is because of societal norms, it isn't the norm to see men in the woman's room or vice versa so there is nothing wrong with expecting adults to use the restroom that matches their gender.

 

[jrmasm]

I’m an old fart. Men do not belong in the ladies’ room.

 

[Shanti]

I think men should bring their small kids in to the men's room because of the bolded. And yes it is because of societal norms, it isn't the norm to see men in the woman's room or vice versa so there is nothing wrong with expecting adults to use the restroom that matches their gender.

But it's understandable to not want your little girl in the men's room, either, where men openly urinate at urinals & where the stalls sometimes don't have doors.

So there is no best solution when a family restroom is unavailable. I'm a single mom with a son, and had to deal with the same issue, but in reverse.

 

[sam_gordon]

I think he should have brought the kids in the men's restroom. BUT, don't all women's rooms have stalls with doors? Aside from the thought "oh, there's a man in here", if you think logically, what is the fear? Presumably (unless he's peeking under the stalls which is a whole other topic) he can't see anything he shouldn't. So, realistically, where is the harm?

 

[ADLFAN]

I feel for these dads! If your daughter is still little and needs some assistance in a public restroom, I think that it is totally ok for dad to accompany her. I would rather see a dad in the ladies room than see a dad walking his daughter past a row of urinals to the one stall in the men's bathroom in hopes that it is vacant. I would not assume ill intent unless I saw it - otherwise we are all just trying to pee...

 

[lifesavacation]

A man with his two young kids in the ladies room wouldn’t bother me at all.

 

[Hikergirl]

But it's understandable to not want your little girl in the men's room, either, where men openly urinate at urinals & where the stalls sometimes don't have doors.

So there is no best solution when a family restroom is unavailable. I'm a single mom with a son, and had to deal with the same issue, but in reverse.

I don't disagree. I'm a SAHM with 2 boys, I am well aware of the challenges parents have when using a public restroom with kids.

 

[Shanti]

I think he should have brought the kids in the men's restroom. BUT, don't all women's rooms have stalls with doors? Aside from the thought "oh, there's a man in here", if you think logically, what is the fear? Presumably (unless he's peeking under the stalls which is a whole other topic) he can't see anything he shouldn't. So, realistically, where is the harm?

It's easy to see into a lot of stalls even if you're not trying to. No need to look under- the cracks on the sides can be pretty wide.

 

[mjkacmom]

DH brought our young boys and girls into the men’s room, I brought them into the ladies room. Heck, DH would sometimes bring girls into the men’s room due to a long line for the ladies room.

 

[AppleDumpling]

OP, in the first situation, the dad should have used the family restroom, but maybe it was urgent that one of the kids really had to go, and he thought that was the better option than them having an accident.

In the second situation, on the school trip, I think the dad should’ve asked one of the moms or female teachers (you?) to take his daughter.

In general, I think grown men should not be in ladies rooms and women should not be in men’s rooms, but I think there are some situations where parents of young children have to make a judgement call and it’s not so black and white.

While I might be surprised, I wouldn’t let it bother me. I would understand that the priority to most parents is their child’s safety and comfort. Most will do their business quickly and get out; they’re not looking at the other people in there.

 

[sam_gordon]

It's easy to see into a lot of stalls even if you're not trying to. No need to look under- the cracks on the sides can be pretty wide.

So you combat that with a young female potentially seeing the private parts of adult males as they walk by urinals.

I would hazard a guess that unless those cracks are an inch or wider, you're STILL not seeing anything other than there's someone in there (then you should avert your eyes).

 

[Floridaman999]

This is a tough one. I can see and understand arguments from both sides on this one. I don't know what to think of this without having the ability to ask him why he did what he did.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

Its hard when you have a young girl and a dad taking them to the bathroom.
My dad had a hard time with this himself as he would take us girls places on the weekend whether my mom could come or not (he had a Monday-Friday job and she had to work every other weekend).
It was the most difficult with my oldest sister since there was no other girl for her to go to the bathroom with.
My dad took her into the men's room when she was very little.
I believe when she was 5 he started having her go in the ladies room by herself.
The first time I think he peaked his head in because he felt like she was in there too long. She was washing her hands by the point.
She came home and told my mom and anyone else that would listen "dad walked into the ladies room today!"
By the time I came along and was old enough that I was going to the bathroom on the toilet my sister was plenty old enough to be responsible for me in those situations.

I think if the man walks in the ladies room, heads directly for a stall with the child, walks out, washes hands and exits its really no big deal and I would not feel uncomfortable.
Sometimes there's not always a mom to take the kids and I get it.

 

[Wendy31]

I've never encountered a dad in the women's restroom w/ his little girl, but I want to say, if I did, while I might be a bit taken aback at first, I don't *think* I'd be offended or upset. I can see why a dad would want to take his daughter into the women's restroom as opposed to the men's restroom. Plus, as others have pointed out, there are stalls in a women's restroom, &, even w/ the gaps, you have to really be trying in order to see into the stalls.

However, in the scenario of a female teacher & a dad in the same restroom, I can easily see where that could be awkward. And, like the OP, I don't think I could have been able to continue into the restroom & use the facilities while the dad of one of my students was in there.

If a family restroom is available, I think the dad should take his daughter there instead of the women's restroom though.

 

[mom2rtk]

It's easy to see into a lot of stalls even if you're not trying to. No need to look under- the cracks on the sides can be pretty wide.

That's really the issue. Those stalls and doors are not designed to have men and women using the same bathrooms. Those cracks on the sides are too wide to really call them private.

 

[kimblebee]

It would take me a second to adjust to a guy being in the womens washroom but after that I wouldn’t care. It’s not like there’s an announcement ‘the pee you are hearing is coming from stall number seven’

As far as the pervert part, women can be perverts too. Plus, when you’re in a stall, the worst someone is going to see is that you’re sitting down.