Dating Red Flags?

[Smugpugmug]

Golden Retrievers are amazing dogs, just throwing that out there.

I love all dogs but my dream team is a Corgi, Rottweiler and a Borzoi. My future partner will need to accept my weird collection of dog breeds lol

 

[sk!mom]

I would never have asked this years ago, but now I would want to know a little about their political beliefs. I am fine with differences of opinion and even voting for a different party. I'd welcome discussions about the topic if someone is level-headed. If they are hardcore one way or the other and believe deeply in certain conspiracy theories, I'd probably think twice.

Agreed, but After the last few years,
Are you a Republican?
would be asked right away. With the answer being a potential deal breaker.

 

[LuckyL3gends]

Well, when I was in the dating scene, I did have a go-to question. I used to ask about their future goals and aspirations. It gave me a sense of their ambition and whether our paths aligned. But hey, sometimes I broke my own rule because, let's be honest, loneliness can cloud our judgment. But trust me, it's better to stick to your deal-breakers in the long run.

 

[Nicnicnic.nic]

Religion, politics, height, dating intention (like casual vs long term)

 

[Buzz Rules]

My red flags:

1. Extreme (far left or far right) political views are a big no for me. I'm a moderate who likes some things from each side of the political spectrum.

2. If you absolutely hate history/historical places, that's a big no.

3. If you hate cats, then the date would be over quickly.

4. If you hate my religion and would not let any future children be raised with those views (whether they follow the religion when they are adults would be their choice), then that would be a no as well.

5. If you would ban watching soccer in the house, that would be a big deal breaker.

6. If you are divorced or separated (especially with kids in a custody situation), that relationship would not last long either.

7. If you have a criminal record, the date would end immediately.

8. If you never want to have kids, that would be a deal breaker too.

 

[disneychrista]

If I am going to date someone we need to have similar interests, outlook on religion, politics. They need to not be a smoker, not do hard drugs, not be into the 420 lifestyle (but an occasional joint or gummy would be okay). We would have be looking for similar things out of the relationship.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

I love all dogs but my dream team is a Corgi, Rottweiler and a Borzoi. My future partner will need to accept my weird collection of dog breeds lol

Wow, now that's a trio. You know that old painting, Poker Dogs? of 3 dogs, well, playing poker? I'd really like to see that group of pooches. My other fave breeds are Cavalier King Charles and Samoyed. When I lived in Poland last year, this GORGEOUS Samoyed lived in my building and I always loved seeing her in the elevator. She wagged her tail when I greeted her in Polish.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

If you are divorced or separated (especially with kids in a custody situation), that relationship would not last long either.

The others, fine, to each his own...but really? Why would you rule someone out just because they are divorced? You equate a divorced person with a convict? I'm divorced! You wouldn't date me??

 

[disneychrista]

The others, fine, to each his own...but really? Why would you rule someone out just because they are divorced? You equate a divorced person with a convict? I'm divorced! You wouldn't date me??

When I first started dating I meet a man with 2 teenagers. They are why things didn't work out for us. It did make me question whether I wanted to date someone with children again.

 

[Buzz Rules]

The others, fine, to each his own...but really? Why would you rule someone out just because they are divorced? You equate a divorced person with a convict? I'm divorced! You wouldn't date me??

My religion would be against it. We believe (unless it's annulled) that marriage exists until death, even when legally separated. Also, I feel, most divorced people are more likely to be divorced again. Custody would also be an issue if the other parent was still involved in their kid's lives. I personally don't want to raise another man's kid if he is fully involved in their lives' (I think it's great though when divorced parents make their kids still the most important thing while divorced/separated).

 

[Lord Manhammer]

My religion would be against it. We believe (unless it's annulled) that marriage exists until death, even when legally separated. Also, I feel, most divorced people are more likely to be divorced again. Custody would also be an issue if the other parent was still involved in their kid's lives. I personally don't want to raise another man's kid if he is fully involved in their lives' (I think it's great though when divorced parents make their kids still the most important thing while divorced/separated).

Fascinating. You’re the real McCoy. So, would you ever break any of your rules for the right girl? What would it take? I’m genuinely curious, not goading.

 

[AprilsZoo]

I agree with this. Political beliefs were not even on my radar years ago. Now, I would definitely find out.

Back when dh and I were dating, we were too young to know whether or not we even *had* political beliefs.

But that was nearly 35 years ago, so…

 

[Magical2017]

The others, fine, to each his own...but really? Why would you rule someone out just because they are divorced? You equate a divorced person with a convict? I'm divorced! You wouldn't date me??

He is cat person so I am not sure how you can say the others are fine? (Kidding, but I do love my dog).

 

[Buzz Rules]

He is cat person so I am not sure how you can say the others are fine? (Kidding, but I do love my dog).

I love dogs too. I just won't get rid of my 2 awsome cats.

 

[ScottOKW2K]

My religion would be against it. We believe (unless it's annulled) that marriage exists until death, even when legally separated. Also, I feel, most divorced people are more likely to be divorced again. Custody would also be an issue if the other parent was still involved in their kid's lives. I personally don't want to raise another man's kid if he is fully involved in their lives' (I think it's great though when divorced parents make their kids still the most important thing while divorced/separated).

Statistics bear that out. Over half of marriages end in divorce. If one of the people in the marriage has been previously divorced it rises to over 70%, and two previous divorces kicks it to 80% or more. Kinda makes sense - if one chose that as a solution in the past it's reasonable to suppose it would be on the table as a solution in the future.

 

[Buzz Rules]

Fascinating. You’re the real McCoy. So, would you ever break any of your rules for the right girl? What would it take? I’m genuinely curious, not goading.

I would give up soccer (though it would hurt me deeply). The other flags I would not break.

 

[disneychrista]

I would give up soccer (though it would hurt me deeply). The other flags I would not break.

Well technically, according to your list, you could watch soccer elsewhere. Go to the local pub, grab a beer and enjoy the game.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Statistics bear that out. Over half of marriages end in divorce. If one of the people in the marriage has been previously divorced it rises to over 70%, and two previous divorces kicks it to 80% or more. Kinda makes sense - if one chose that as a solution in the past it's reasonable to suppose it would be on the table as a solution in the future.

That statistic was bogus. It was taken by dividing the marriage rate in a year by the divorce rate in the same year. Well you instantly see the problem. In a single year, the couples getting married and the couples getting divorced are not one in the same. And the statistic happened to be taken in a year when a large generation was entering prime divorce years and a smaller generation was entering prime marriage years. Even then it wasn't 50%. It's just that if the trend held, it would get to 50%. Which of course it never did because it was a function of how it was taken and of generation size.

Measured properly, IE looking at the percentage of Marriages of a time period years later to see if they divorced, the divorce rate was about 35% when the media screamed it was 50% OH NOES!!! and it has been falling. For marriages initiated between 2000 and 2010 it appears that about 80% will make it to their 15th year.

 

[Dan Murphy]

That statistic was bogus. It was taken by dividing the marriage rate in a year by the divorce rate in the same year. Well you instantly see the problem. In a single year, the couples getting married and the couples getting divorced are not one in the same. And the statistic happened to be taken in a year when a large generation was entering prime divorce years and a smaller generation was entering prime marriage years. Even then it wasn't 50%. It's just that if the trend held, it would get to 50%. Which of course it never did because it was a function of how it was taken and of generation size.

Measured properly, IE looking at the percentage of Marriages of a time period years later to see if they divorced, the divorce rate was about 35% when the media screamed it was 50% OH NOES!!! and it has been falling. For marriages initiated between 2000 and 2010 it appears that about 80% will make it to their 15th year.

You beat me to that clarification, CW4D. I'd be doubting even 35%.

 

[Travel60]

I would want to know what he/she likes to do on vacation and in spare time. I married a "sleep late and lay around room all day" person and I'm a "Let's get out and see the world" person. I figured that out on honeymoon. It has caused a few problems through the years but now I just try to do my thing and he sleeps. Harder when we are out of the country or in unfamiliar area. But, I try.