Dealing with Anxiety and being a Disney fan.

[Dis_couple269]

Good evening all,
Its been some time since I have been on here much less posted anything.
I have been a lifelong Disney fan, my favorite place in the world is, Disney World (join the club right?)
I've been there twice now, each time was such a freeing experience where I could really let my Disney colors fly.

The last time I visited was 3 years ago with my ex. It has been a highlight of my life that I will always look back on fondly. Since then many things have changed in my life. The past 3 years have been nothing short of a struggle. I've dealt with leaving a broken relationship, having my special needs son only 50% of the time, 3 close friends dying within a year of each other, then to top it off having a series of unfortunate events which has caused a few job changes. This current job is my longest one in 2years now. It is a solid job that isn't going anywhere and i am plugged in at. I also recently purchased a new truck (it is the nicest vehicle i've ever owned). My current relationship has its struggles like any other but it is extremely promising and I am looking forward to the future with her. So things are looking up.

However,
Around January 30th 2019 something happened to me, I experienced my first full blown panic attack. I've had anxiety issues many years ago but it seemed to had went away for 5 years. Then out of nowhere it hit me like a freight train while I was on the highway driving. Ever since the day I have had incredible amounts of anxiety attacks and a few more full blown panic attacks. I have taken counseling, tried medicine (which seemed to only make it worse) meditation, working out, going out shooting, focusing on hobbies, everything one would do that has anxiety/stress retention issues. I am finding a pretty solid way of handling the attacks when they happen now.

Now that you are somewhat up to speed,
I still struggle with long drives (anything on a highway for over 45mins usually has me looking for a way out of the car/truck), I am terrified of flying (this has been like this for day 1, some people are terrified of snakes, well for me its flying), what does this have to do with anything you ask? Well, I live in Michigan, 18hrs from my front step to Magic Kingdom parking lot.

When saying its Only 18hrs away, it doesn't sound that bad at all. Sounds like we could do that drive in day, we leave at 6am arrive at hotel by Midnight. Then you have food, bathroom, gas, and stretch the leg stops bump that up to a 22 - 24 hr drive. I know because my ex and I flew down and drove back.

Now with the anxiety and panic attacks I feel stuck and unable to go to my favorite place. The want to go is there. I even have two tickets (3 day passes we got from the nearby Disney Store). My significant other is more than excited to go, but it's my anxiety and fear of having a panic attack holding me back.

My question to everyone or anyone,
Am I alone with this? Its a very isolating feeling, just trying to find any thing that may help, or heck maybe someone else is in the same boat and needs a friend to relate to. I'm not sure which I am looking for but, something?

Thank you

 

[stsomewhere]

My daughter hates to fly. We live in Michigan, too. We drive to just south of Atlanta and spend the night, then drive the 4-5 hours the next morning.

 

[Sweetpancake]

I’m sorry you’ve been going through such a difficult time. I have suffered from anxiety my whole life. You’ll find you’re definitely not alone. Have you tried cognitive behaviour therapy. I used to be terrified of flying but now I fly all the time and with considerable ease. The key to recovery from anxiety is doing the things you’re afraid of. I know, as an anxiety sufferer that sounds horrible but it does work. As for panic attacks they go away once you stop fearing them and learn to accept them. Lucinda Bassett has a great “Attacking anxiety” program that I did several years ago. You can probably find a copy off eBay. It’ll truly help you understand anxiety and panic and how to deal with it. You can get better, I’m proof! That said know that some level of anxiety in life is normal and won’t ever completely go away but won’t stop you from doing what you want to do. Good luck!

 

[kaytieeldr]

What about hypnosis? What about taking a train? It sounds like driving would take more than twice as long (three days?) for you than for most Michiganders.

 

[Christine]

You're not alone with the driving issue. I have had it since 2013 and I cannot get it to stop.

In 2013, I was involved in a workplace shooting where 12 people were killed. It was an extremely stressful event and the aftermath of being held for hours and questioned by law enforcement made it worse. After the event, we were all sent home and had to telework for several months as our office space was demolished. About 2 weeks after the shooting, I had to drive up to the area where it happened to attend a meeting in another building. I was a little nervous but really didn't think much of it. I was about halfway to the meeting, going about 70mph (too fast I know) and I just got hit really hard with a panic attack. It was awful. I almost wrecked the car and was about to pull over to the shoulder when I actually hit a traffic jam and slowed down. Then I was okay for the most part.

That was 2013. Ever since, I have not been able to drive on the highway for more than 5 or 10 minutes. I do okay at around 50-55 mph but once I get going faster, I just start feeling weird. I can drive on non-highways at 60 mph or so and I don't have the same issues. So weird. I've never been able to get any help for this. Xanax could help but you don't want to drive on the amount of Xanax that would work.

Fortunately, I have no issues with flying.

I don't have any advice, just to let you know that you're not alone.

 

[Skippyboo]

What about using some headphones and tablet to help distract you? Watch some Disney movies. Do the license plate game. My sister lives in Michigan and I live in Atlanta. It’s definitely a long drive between the 2 cities. I would also recommend therapy too.

 

[J'aime Paris]

Sorry you are struggling. Just pouring it all out here is brave!

I live in WI, so my trips to Florida are long as well. I don't like to fly, and turbulence makes me almost sick.
But I force myself to do it...I've read many articles on the safety of flying....and I justify it to myself as a quick means to an end.

Maybe you can work on trying to lengthen your tolerance in the car? Start with the 45 min. you can handle, and then gradually increase it by 10 minutes...increase it by 25 minutes....increase by an hour.
Not sure if it'll work, but maybe worth experimenting with?

 

[Pooh2]

Until 5 years ago, I had only flown a few times in my life.
But.. I had a lot of places that I wanted to see that driving was not practical (or possible in the case of Hawaii and Alaska!) so decided to just do it.
Five years later, I have about 30 round trip flights logged,about a dozen long distance train trips ,3 cruises and have visited 48 states.
Each time got a bit easier. My desire to travel was strong enough to just do it and deal with the anxious feelings knowing it will pass when I get there.
Good luck!

 

[RUDisney]

This is off the cuff and please don't respond. It's something to consider. Pot smoking can increase anxiety, especially when used with anti-anxiety medicine.

I have no issue with those who use pot or edibles. However, you'd think that pot would reduce anxiety, but it actually increases it in some people.

That would be an easy fix, if that is adding to your anxiety.

Otherwise, my friends who don't like to fly, take valium before getting onboard a plane. It takes the edge off and they do well on planes with it.

 

[Micca]

Are the panic attacks and the fear of flying the same thing? I ask because there are solutions for overcoming fear of flying. I've heard about people who take valium or Xanax for flights, as RUDisney said it takes the edge off (i.e. you pretty much don't care about anything.)

One last thought: Is it possible to travel by rail? Best of luck getting back to WDW, sounds like you'll be a happier person when you do.

 

[J'aime Paris]

This is off the cuff and please don't respond. It's something to consider. Pot smoking can increase anxiety, especially when used with anti-anxiety medicine.

I have no issue with those who use pot or edibles. However, you'd think that pot would reduce anxiety, but it actually increases it in some people.

That would be an easy fix, if that is adding to your anxiety.

Otherwise, my friends who don't like to fly, take valium before getting onboard a plane. It takes the edge off and they do well on planes with it.

I'm confused by your post...and I re-read OP's post.
He made no mention of using pot or edibles for his anxiety....

 

[luvsJack]

I totally get the flying fear. I have it too. I have never set foot on a plane but my fear of going into a full on panic attack as soon as the doors close is very real to me. There are places I want to go and I know I will have to fly to get there so I have already talked to my doctor. He assures me that he will give me something to get me on the plane (and back on at the end of the trip).

I know a lot of people do not like to take meds and feel that one should be able to distract themselves from whatever it is they are afraid of buy with phobias it just doesn't work that way or at least not for everyone. My mom could just read while she was on a plane and it kept her from thinking about it. I can't do that.

I have a friend that went to Hawaii a year or so ago. Her first time on a plane. Not sure what her dr. gave her, but she got on the plane, sat down, and immediately went to sleep. They had to wake her when they go there. She did have to check in the hotel and sleep off whatever it was for a few hours and then get on with her vacation but she said it was the only way she was going to get there.

So, don't feel bad that you may need to take something to get on the plane. If it helps you to get to a place that you love, it will be worth it. Talk to your doctor and see what they suggest.

If it was me and the choice was taking something to get me to fly or take a chance on a panic attack while driving, I would choose the flying. But of course, you have to make your own choice.

 

[luvsJack]

I'm confused by your post...and I re-read OP's post.
He made no mention of using pot or edibles for his anxiety....

I did the same thing! Actually read it twice! I was very confused.

 

[RUDisney]

I'm confused by your post...and I re-read OP's post.
He made no mention of using pot or edibles for his anxiety....

That's why I said it was off the cuff.

Sometimes, people will try to eliminate anxiety with pot when it can be counterintuitive. The OP didn't say he partook, but in case he had tried it for anxiety, it could be adding to it.

I just heard a doctor speak on this last week. I'd have never seen a collation to the same. I'm just mentioning it as an in case scenario.

 

[scrhsa]

I have dealt with anxiety/panic attacks for along time. Both in myself and others around me. Last year I had to talk my son-in-law down from a very panic-y panic attack. It was really scary. Glad I was there, my dd was not able to handle it, having a 1 month old baby and all.
I am flying to Disney on Sat. The first time I've flown in 30 yrs. I'm a bit nervous because I am VERY claustrophobic. VERY. Even some queues at Disney kind of send me over the edge. As long as I can redirect my brain I think I will be ok. When I had an mri a couple of years ago they gave me something. All it did was relax me physically and make me slur my words. My brain still didn't like going in that machine. It was rough. Being a religious person I just closed my eyes and said a rosary. Prayer helps me. Which, is another way to redirect the brain. I am, oddly, looking forward to facing this challenge. I'm really wanting to face this and conquer this.
The only advice I would give---and it's really silly advice---is maybe drive for 30/45 mins. get out of the car for awhile. Drive another 30/45 mins. etc, etc. Yeah,I know, doesn't sound very feasible. But an option none the less Also, I don't know how your sleep patterns are but when I was in the heart of my anxiety/panic attacks I was getting very little sleep. Not my needed 8 hrs. I don't know if that will help or not. For me, it does. That and being able to redirect my brain. But redirecting is the hard part. It has taken me a long time to get to the point I can "talk my self out of it".

 

[VandVsmama]

I went through a lot of anxiety post-partum after the birth of my 2nd child. It was overwhelming at times and I'd have intrusive thoughts, kind of like a tape that kept replaying in my head and I couldn't turn it off. Medication helped, but I did have to switch to a different med due to some side effects that bothered me a lot. For me, personally, I found a few different things to be helpful:

• trying to make sure I got enough sleep
• replace the 'intrusive thoughts' tape with something else.
• relaxation & deep breathing techniques
• allow myself just a minute or two to calm down a bit, even if the baby was crying her head off in the crib
• went to a local support group in person for awhile

With regards to airplane travel, here are some factors that I personally consider. My YDD (age 11) gets nervous sometimes on planes and sometimes I do, too (especially when the turbulence is REALLY bad...like bad enough for their flight attendants to sit down), so these suggestions have worked for us:

• bring a pair of Seabands bracelets for each person who's nervous or has a queasy stomach
• whenever possible, try to get a direct flight (sometimes possible but not cost affordable, so this one can be tricky)
• if you do have to change planes on the flight to Orlando, consider: (a) the time of year you're flying; (b) possible bad weather at the plane-change airport at that time of year; and (c) select your plane-change-airport accordingly. For example, where possible, if flying in the winter, if your options were to change planes in Chicago or Dallas, I'd pick Dallas any day of the week.
• try to fly out early in the day. Morning flights have lower odds of having significant delays.
• use head phones with soothing background music to use during times when you're really stressed out.
• close your eyes at take off. Use deep breathing techniques.
• sit toward the middle of the plane instead of a window in case seeing out the window stresses you out
• bring some of your own favorite snacks. As much junk food as you want, whatever your comfort food is. Forget the diet on flight day.
• get to the airport early enough to give you plenty of time to park and get through security, etc. Sometimes, this can be very nerve-wracking.

Traveling with non-special needs kids can be stressful. And when you throw a special needs situation into the mix, that can magnify one's anxiety. I'm not sure what your son's special needs are, but just know and trust in yourself that you are his mom and, as a result, you know your son. I mean, you're his mom after all. You know how he ticks, what works for him and what doesn't work for him. So come up with a plan for managing various "what if" scenarios if your WDW trip will include him.

When I get really anxious and start to super duper worry about the "what if's," what helps me is to think of THE worst possible scenario and then I come up with a solid plan for how I would handle that situation. And, ironically, it calms me down a lot. It's sort of like computer programming in a way...a series of "IF...THEN...ELSE" statements. Like "If X happens, I am going to do Y. If A happens after that, I will do B." And so on.

For example, I am always freaked out that we're going to miss our plane. So I work backwards from the departure time. Yeah, it's anal retentive and this sort of thing drives my DH crazy (but he's late to stuff a lot and it stresses me out). So my anxiety-reducing planning with that sort of goes like this in my head the first time around...

• Ok, our flight to Orlando is departing PHX on Saturday at 6:30 am.
• It takes about 45 min that early in the morning to get to the airport...
• should we Uber/Lyft it or drive and park in the long term lot?
• What if our car doesn't start when we get back home at the end of the trip and then we're stuck having to jump start a car at 1:00 in the morning?
• We'll take Uber or Lyft to the airport.
• DH won't like that, but I don't care. It'll probably be about the same as long term parking anyway.
• How long will it take to get through TSA security checkpoint? I better allow for 30 min for that. Oh wait, there's that TSA smart phone app where you can check current TSA wait times at airports. I should download that.
• Ok, **I** want to be at the gate 45 min beforehand. That's 5:45 am.
• Subtract 30 min from that. Means we get to airport at 5:15 am.
• What if there's a traffic jam on the way to the airport? Unlikely given it'll be a Saturday morning, but there's a couple of different routes to get to the airport.
• Forget it, let's get to the airport at 5:00 am, that's 90 min before the flight leaves. We'll eat breakfast at the airport.
• So I need to have the Uber or Lyft pick us up at 4:15 am at our house.
• DH will need 30 min to drag himself out of bed and get dressed, so he needs to be up at 3:45.
• So I'll set my alarm for 3:30.
• And we should have our bags packed the night before.
• I'm going to go set an alarm on my phone for 3:30 wake up for that morning.
• I wonder if you can schedule an Uber or Lyft ahead of time? I'm going to go look into that.

And then...I go and write down the departure schedule on a piece of paper....so I can go back to it when I later start to get stressed out again about it and I can remind myself that it's all going to work out. I'm not sure if the above example was helpful at all and some folks here might think that this is a little nuts, but stuff like this is what has helped me mentally & emotionally manage the stress of getting myself, DH, and 2 kids out the door and to/from the airport for trips like this.

I even make packing lists and print them out. Why? I used to not do that and then we'd forget stuff at home. That is an enormous hassle and pain in the neck when you're dealing with young children for sure!

 

[mousefan73]

There are many resources to deal with fear from flying. Look into those. I love flying ( but don’t me near a ski lift!). I know you know this but driving 18 hrs significantly increases your chances of let‘s say dying than getting on a plane.
Ask yourself What is it about air travel that you fear? The unnaturalness of humans being up there, not being in control, the tie space? And work on those issues. PP gave great tips on flying. I friend of mine didn’t fly for 8 years got sudden anxiety over it. Now she is fine, but takes pops a pill she has prescribed for it.

there are many YouTube videos on this topic watch them.If you decide to do it don‘t medicate un less you have experience with that drug and don’t mix with alcohol.

you know those people that freak out and get dragged off planes? Well they are normal people who in most cases pop an axienty pill from a friend they never took. Their body reacts to it. Or they mix with alcohol. A know an airport cop and he deals with this all the time. If you medicate know what you are are doing.

 

[Flowers12]

I'm confused by your post...and I re-read OP's post.
He made no mention of using pot or edibles for his anxiety....

Of course he didn’t. People read what they want to on here and make assumptions. It’s ridiculous.

 

[jalapeno_pretzel]

You should get an appointment with a psychiatrist and find a med that will work for you. There are several. Some people get lucky and find one that works right away. Others take a little more trial and error to find the right one. A good psychiatrist will work with you to get you on the right meds. Your anxiety is impacting your quality of life, and you deserve better. It sounds like you could benefit from both something used regularly, plus something to help with extreme stresses like flying.

I used to be afraid to fly. After many childhood flights with no issues, I developed it in my 20s. I tried one med that just made me feel drugged and lethargic. I was still scared, but just felt sedated. I managed to get beyond the fear between yoga, meditation, and a fear of flying website. However, I still take something for long flights, and it's something I found working with the psychiatrist.

I think you should keep working with therapists and psychiatrists to find the right solutions. Anxiety is not an easy fix. Good luck.

 

[luvsJack]

Of course he didn’t. People read what they want to on here and make assumptions. It’s ridiculous.

The pp came back and explained himself. And to be honest, after considering it, he has a point. A LOT of people with anxiety have tried using pot to help and it does help a lot of people. But there are those that it can have a reverse effect and anyone trying it needs to know.

No reason for you to get snarky about a post that wasn't really about you.