Debt Dumpers - 2019

[Deffenm]

As long as the weather is nice we will be traveling to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family Thanksgiving weekend. We have dinner at my in-laws on Thanksgiving and then get up really early on Friday and drive to my mom's (6 hours away) and come back home on Sunday. We might be going to get a Christmas Tree this weekend since Thanksgiving is so late and I don't want to wait until the first weekend in Dec.

Christmas Eve is our daughters birthday so we all go out for breakfast to celebrate and then she opens gifts. She is turning the big 16 years old this year! We then go to my in laws for Pizza dinner and games. Christmas morning we just hang at home and munch on snacks and go back to my in laws for dinner. My mom comes out for Christmas Eve and stays until the New Year as our son's birthday is Dec. 30th so we celebrate his too. Good thing my in laws only live 5 miles from our home.

Budget for Christmas and birthdays is around 1500 and I budget all year. It is a busy time but I love it.

 

[Bamaclan4]

Wow! It won't be traditional in terms of a "Christmas budget," either!

But how festive and fun with a winter, Christmas decorated wedding--and lots of family and friends already gathered around. I am sure it will be a wonderful and memorable holiday time--albeit a little tiring or challenging, right? Congrats to you and your son and his wife-to-be!

Wow! Is exactly right. And it has definitely been tough on the budget, and that’s just the groom’s side. But we are so excited and I know it will be beautiful but certainly tiring Thanks so much for the well wishes.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

For those of you who are staying home for the holidays (or are traveling to see family vs. going to WDW or other vacation destination), where do you choose to splurge financially, where do you choose to cut corners or do without, and where do you still "go for it" but try to be frugal?

Do you put money in a Christmas fund or savings account all year? I enjoy hearing about what people value most for their families in this upcoming season and, therefore, make their choices about splurging, economizing etc. based on those values. Do you set a total money figure and all gifts, travel, meals, pet boarding, decorating, cards, special clothing, etc. must come in under that amount?

For me, this is the first year I have funded a special account in my Cap One 360 savings account just for Christmas. It is at $900 right now, and that will suffice for our needs this year. I am not traveling but in hopes of enticing my sister from many states away to come, myself and another sister are offering to split the cost of a spacious AirbnB house for her and her daughter and some other folks in our family to sleep at. We did this last year because my home can't sleep everyone.

Because I didn't help pay for that last year, I bought two big catered meals for everyone over the 3-4 days they were here. I board our dog at New Years when we do travel one state over to hang with friends for 2-3 days.

I have cut down on the huge amount of gift exchanges I did with friend groups for years and years and now just exchange with family members, other than a couple of grab bag exchanges.
I enjoy shopping for my family but always try to hit a sale and have coupons. I did great last week with layering a 15% code with a $10 off of $25 code at Kohl's Veteran day sale which I heard about here on the BB. Yay! I did not pay for delivery but drove the 25 minutes to Kohl's twice to get the many orders. Good savings there. I am not done but I did get a lot bought and it is all picked up now. I hit up Old Navy and BBW a bit with that Veterans Day sale, as well.

I already have a lot of home decorations and wintry candles, so have not been buying any new ones for the last few years. I finally accepted that I mean well with Christmas cards, but I never get them out, so I don't even attempt them anymore. My job is super busy right through the end of December 23rd this year, so I just accept that I can't do everything. And I have never been one to buy new clothes for me, or my daughter since she was an adolescent and no longer into that. When she was little I would get her a new Christmas dress every year for photos, Christmas concerts, church, etc. Loved that!

How about you guys? What do you value and pay for willingly? What do you economize on, and what do you just let fall by the wayside? What are your favorite free, or nearly free, holiday activities, rituals, traditions that you like to do with your family?

And this is related to the debt-dumping board, for me, because everything must be paid for from my savings or my regular monthly budget--but not charged and paid for later on. You may do things differently, though--because some particular thing matters very much and is worth short term debt. I am not judging, for sure.

Dh loves to splurge on gifts at Christmas. Over the years, as more and more of his siblings had more children (he is one of 6) we opted out exchanging gifts with siblings. It seemed to become much harder to buy for each other as we all got older and needed less. We would always get together at his sister's house on Christmas Eve but as my MIL became more ill, my SIL sold her home and moved in with my inlaws to take care of her until she passed, so Christmas Eve is quiet now for us. After that we tended to visit with my family for holidays and as my mom had some health issues, my sister and I started doing the hosting. My sister & BIL are wonderful cooks and everything from them has to be home made, even the optional whipped cream on the pumpkin pie. She takes the whole week off to make about 5 different types of pies.

Because I work in a hospital, I am lucky to have off Christmas Day at all. Same with Thanksgiving. So cooking TG can be a challenge but dh is our chef and I mostly help him when he feels like he needs 6 arms. We hosted TG and Christmas the past 2 years while my sister went to her in-laws. It gives me great comfort to know my mom spent her last 2 Christmases & TGs at our home.
My family is all local with the furthest one being my brother an hour away. I know so many people have to, but I can't imagine adding travel time & costs to holidays. I'd never get the time off work so if family wasn't local, we'd probably not see them.

We've bought a ton of decorations over the 23 years in our home so I have throttled back a lot in that area when I started dumping debt with no impact on the joy of our holidays. We are a bit crazy but we actually cap our gift spending on our kids to $1000 each. Dh just loves Christmas morning to be over the top (he grew up poor) so this is about right for that. Some years I have even gone over.
We don't spend that much on each other. We don't really have a set amount for that but most years dh gives me a few $1000 and tells me to book whatever trip I've been eyeing. He knows I love to travel as a family more than any material thing he could box and wrap up. I usually spend a few hundred on him. This year he wants a Bose sound bar for the living room TV. I bought my dad a new desktop computer; his is so old but he doesn't replace things that still work so he'd keep that dinosaur for 10 more years if we let him.
Since we started the debt snowball a few years ago, I've been funneling $4000 of our snowball to our Ally Christmas account usually some time over the summer. This year I think it was August and Sept. I like to have it all ready to go by mid October. It sounds like a lot but we include this $ for grocery shopping for hosting meals and a pretty hefty alcohol tab too. (Whew! My family can go through some wine!)

My in-laws have 12 grandchildren so we stopped buying for all the nieces and nephews years ago. We used to do Pollyanna among all the grandchildren but then once my MIL died and we stopped getting together on Christmas eve, we didn't see all of them or even some of them. With Pollyannas it has to be all there or none, otherwise someone ends up with no gift if the person who chose them doesn't come. Sigh...
We have lost so much of our family since 2014, both in-laws, my grandmother and my mother, so that is a lot fewer gifts to buy. This will be our first holidays since my mom died. I try to stay upbeat for my family but deep down I know it's gonna suck. Yesterday was her birthday and my siblings and I took off work and met at my dad's for lunch. It was nice to be together but just being in their house with all of her stuff, her little post it notes on her desk, it all just kills me.
I only have 2 nieces on my side and we still buy for them and my one niece's 2 boys.

There will probably be quite a bit of $ leftover this year. Whatever is left goes to whatever our financial goal is at the time.

 

[dayvewc]

Completely

Ok, so I'm trying to not jinx it, or count chickens before the eggs hatch, or anything like that. But, I'm riding the anxiety roller-coaster and just need to share or vent. I'm not sure which.

When I got out of the Army in 2003, I submitted paperwork to be evaluated with the VA for a couple of different issues. The VA lost my file. I've spent the last 16 years and 5 months trying to get them to start the claim on me from the injuries sustained while I was enlisted. In the intervening time, the initial problems have escalated and caused secondary issues that are actually much worse than the original problems that I was asking to be seen for. I have finally managed, with the help of a super awesome Veteran Service Officer, to get get the VA to open the claim and they agreed to backdate everything to my discharge date of July 7, 2003. BUT, they are only examining the original complaints, only using the medical records available at my discharge, and have an estimated decision date of next November. I swear, if I don't have PTSD yet, dealing with the bureaucracy is going to give it to me.

The VA does a lot of good a lot of the time. But when they drop the ball, it takes an act of God to get it fixed.

 

[barkley]

Completely

Ok, so I'm trying to not jinx it, or count chickens before the eggs hatch, or anything like that. But, I'm riding the anxiety roller-coaster and just need to share or vent. I'm not sure which.

When I got out of the Army in 2003, I submitted paperwork to be evaluated with the VA for a couple of different issues. The VA lost my file. I've spent the last 16 years and 5 months trying to get them to start the claim on me from the injuries sustained while I was enlisted. In the intervening time, the initial problems have escalated and caused secondary issues that are actually much worse than the original problems that I was asking to be seen for. I have finally managed, with the help of a super awesome Veteran Service Officer, to get get the VA to open the claim and they agreed to backdate everything to my discharge date of July 7, 2003. BUT, they are only examining the original complaints, only using the medical records available at my discharge, and have an estimated decision date of next November. I swear, if I don't have PTSD yet, dealing with the bureaucracy is going to give it to me.

The VA does a lot of good a lot of the time. But when they drop the ball, it takes an act of God to get it fixed.

i've never worked with military cases but i did supervise eligibility cases for a number of programs in health and social services and have professional and personal experience dealing with the social security administration on disabilities. that said-it reads as a positive to me that they are looking at your paperwork from that 'moment in time' when you originally applied. it leads me to believe that they are trying to protected your original date of application so that if it meets their criteria you would be eligible to any monetary benefits retroactively. if for some reason they deny you i'm assuming you could appeal the decision (always appeal if possible vs. reapplying it also protects an application date) and if the entire appeal process fails then you could reapply at which time i would think all the post discharge information would come into play for evaluation.

fingers crossed for you-hopefully they fast track it and get done much sooner.

 

[pblack]

I'm so sorry for all you're going through @dayvewc. It's so sad to see how a**backwards things can be when it comes to our veterans.

 

[dayvewc]

i've never worked with military cases but i did supervise eligibility cases for a number of programs in health and social services and have professional and personal experience dealing with the social security administration on disabilities. that said-it reads as a positive to me that they are looking at your paperwork from that 'moment in time' when you originally applied. it leads me to believe that they are trying to protected your original date of application so that if it meets their criteria you would be eligible to any monetary benefits retroactively. if for some reason they deny you i'm assuming you could appeal the decision (always appeal if possible vs. reapplying it also protects an application date) and if the entire appeal process fails then you could reapply at which time i would think all the post discharge information would come into play for evaluation.

fingers crossed for you-hopefully they fast track it and get done much sooner.

The work of the super awesome VSO managed to get them to instate the claim from my discharge date, so if ( when ) they determine a disability rating, I'll get the retroactive benefits. Also, IF they grant an initial rating, my understanding is that I can then go and ask that the other be considered. I can also request, depending on what initial rating I receive, that the rating be increased. And there are always appeals if I am denied or don't fully agree with the decision.

Pretty sure fast track is off the board, though. They are supposed to complete all evaluations and reach a decision within a year of discharge (they obviously missed THAT deadline). From the time they opened the claim, they are providing themselves almost 14 months to decide. So, I'm getting pushed for an extra 2 months to begin with, and while it's still pretty new, I'm not seeing any movement that looks to be a "fast track". LOL It spent 3 weeks between the time the VA acknowledged receiving the claim and it being sent to an initial reviewer.

 

[jen7233]

Completely

Ok, so I'm trying to not jinx it, or count chickens before the eggs hatch, or anything like that. But, I'm riding the anxiety roller-coaster and just need to share or vent. I'm not sure which.

When I got out of the Army in 2003, I submitted paperwork to be evaluated with the VA for a couple of different issues. The VA lost my file. I've spent the last 16 years and 5 months trying to get them to start the claim on me from the injuries sustained while I was enlisted. In the intervening time, the initial problems have escalated and caused secondary issues that are actually much worse than the original problems that I was asking to be seen for. I have finally managed, with the help of a super awesome Veteran Service Officer, to get get the VA to open the claim and they agreed to backdate everything to my discharge date of July 7, 2003. BUT, they are only examining the original complaints, only using the medical records available at my discharge, and have an estimated decision date of next November. I swear, if I don't have PTSD yet, dealing with the bureaucracy is going to give it to me.

The VA does a lot of good a lot of the time. But when they drop the ball, it takes an act of God to get it fixed.

Next November, wow, that's a good long while. I understand the frustration, particularly as that time period not all was online to track, and the period of backlogs, etc. You should be able to see your claim track on ebenefits, if you aren't on there already. I believe you have to file a secondary claim on the secondary issues later, don't quote me on that confirm with the VA and your VSO. That's the direction I'd take anyway, but I haven't personally had experience with secondary claims and it's best to hear it correctly from a proper source. But I say that because as I understand it for secondary service-connected, you'd first have to have your initial medical issues from service to be determined service connected before you can claim for after service medical type issues that stemmed from those problems. Hopefully your VSO is good on explaining the process for you. If you have any medical documentation on the secondary, gather it. I haven't been tracking on the latest on the VA process for a long while. I have been through the process twice, doing the paperwork shuffle on my own, I had an initial, and also through a reevaluation. But, a VSO can be a good step when needing support to figure out the cumbersome process if needed.

 

[dayvewc]

Next November, wow, that's a good long while. I understand the frustration, particularly as that time period not all was online to track, and the period of backlogs, etc. You should be able to see your claim track on ebenefits, if you aren't on there already. I believe you have to file a secondary claim on the secondary issues later, don't quote me on that confirm with the VA and your VSO. That's the direction I'd take anyway, but I haven't personally had experience with secondary claims and it's best to hear it correctly from a proper source. But I say that because as I understand it for secondary service-connected, you'd first have to have your initial medical issues from service to be determined service connected before you can claim for after service medical type issues that stemmed from those problems. Hopefully your VSO is good on explaining the process for you. If you have any medical documentation on the secondary, gather it. I haven't been tracking on the latest on the VA process for a long while. I have been through the process twice, doing the paperwork shuffle on my own, I had an initial, and also through a reevaluation. But, a VSO can be a good step when needing support to figure out the cumbersome process if needed.

A good VSO is priceless. Way back in the day, I worked with the local VFW, and when the VA missed the initial 12 month deadline, the local VSO - who was also the local VFW commander - told me that there wasn't anything that could be done, that I had missed my only chance. I literally spent years trying to get help from someone or anyone to figure out how to initiate a claim. The closest I ever got in the process was about 3 years ago, I got a single meeting with the DAV VSO at the VA near where I live. They filed the request for my medical records, and then never answered or returned my phone calls or emails after that. I gathered as much medical documentation as I could on my own and uploaded it, but I honestly was really just kind of thrashing in the dark.

I had honestly pretty much given up completely, and said as much in a Facebook post on the state VFW page about the difficulties in attempting to navigate the system on your own. A VSO from 4 states / almost 1000 miles away messaged me and asked if I would be willing to accept their help. If it hadn't been for this particular VSO, I doubt the VA would have opened the claim, and I know they wouldn't have agreed to backdate it to my discharge date.

And yes, as I understand it, you have it correct. I have to be approved for the initial service connected issues first, and then I can request that they consider secondary issues. I'm just torn between anxiety and frustration and the potential for relief. It's the not knowing what is going to happen, or when that is causing the anxiety. The frustration is that after so long, I'm still in the dark about everything. Yes, I can track my claim on ebenefits, but it's stuck in the "gathering evidence, review, and decision" stage. Which I expect it to be there until next fall, honestly. It sat in the "received" for 3 weeks, was sent to "initial review" for 2 days, and now has been in "GERD" for 6 weeks. 17+ years of backpay won't let me retire, but it will certainly make life easier. If things fall my way. If they find in my favor. If I don't have to spend years on appeals. I just don't know how much energy I have left to spend. (1 more issue to add)

 

[jen7233]

@dayvewc yes it's quite a process, and there was less of a visibility of the VA disability claims process in the past. Glad you were able to find someone to assist you in filing your claim. Hopefully the decision won't take as long as it's quoted.

 

[dayvewc]

@dayvewc yes it's quite a process, and there was less of a visibility of the VA disability claims process in the past. Glad you were able to find someone to assist you in filing your claim. Hopefully the decision won't take as long as it's quoted.

Thanks. That's my hope as well!!

 

[crazycatstacy]

Leaving in the morning to go to Madison to bring my daughter home. Trying to remind myself to be responsible at Trader Joes, Costco and Aldi's on the trip! We will get home Sunday then I work Monday and Tuesday and we head to Disney next Saturday!

 

[pblack]

Leaving in the morning to go to Madison to bring my daughter home. Trying to remind myself to be responsible at Trader Joes, Costco and Aldi's on the trip! We will get home Sunday then I work Monday and Tuesday and we head to Disney next Saturday!

What do you mean by responsible at Costco?! Those two things just don't go together.

 

[crazycatstacy]

What do you mean by responsible at Costco?! Those two things just don't go together.

That's what I'm afraid of!!!

 

[barkley]

Leaving in the morning to go to Madison to bring my daughter home. Trying to remind myself to be responsible at Trader Joes, Costco and Aldi's on the trip!

when we moved to our current home from northern california every time we visited back home i was stocking up at trader joses. i ended up buying so much non perishable stuff we would have to go to a ups store to ship it home b/c it would'nt fit in our airline luggage. i was never so glad to see a single company finally locate on our side of the state. i do much better on my costco trips now that i'm no longer chasing their sales. now that i know that if an item goes on sale within 30 days they will refund the difference i just keep an eye on their monthly ad and hold off going unless i will get some $ back (and then ideally turn around and walk out the door).

note-this is from the woman who just bought 3 big tins of trader joe's almond rocha the other day but i justify that by knowing they only carry it this time of year

 

[imbatman]

Back from a magical weekend at DL, followed by a mountain of work on Tuesday and Weds.! I believe we blew our food budget for the DL trip, but I promised myself not to freak out over DL prices. Those mint juleps, though...they kill my budget!!! It was 71 on Friday and 94 on Sunday, so quite the temp swing. DH and I really enjoyed our time, rode Smuggler's Run twice (he did it three times), visited Oga's (my opinion: never again), and he LOVED the World of Color dessert party. Worth the splurge? Absolutely. Because...

We are coming home to a tighter budget (on purpose), my dad is losing his battle to cancer (and his horrible attitude isn't helping), DH is going through the first steps in a major foot surgery, and our power was turned off again by PG&E because of winds.

BUT, there is joy: the power is back on now, my SUPER big surprise to bring my oldest's friend home for Thanksgiving is still lined up, insurance is playing nicely in the sandbox with the requirements for surgery so far, and I get to go on a short road trip with my mom to see my sister tomorrow. My biggest thanksgiving joy is that DH is on board with budgeting now (after thousands and thousands of dollars being run up by him, for those who don't know my story). I pray that this time next year, we will be in such a different place.

AND starting tonight, I'm turning on my Christmas lights.

 

[pblack]

I'm so glad you had a magical time at DL @imbatman!!! There's nothing quite like the Christmas season at DL in my opinion. (I'll get my first very small taste of the season at WDW next year.) I hope your dad's passing (when it comes) will be an easy one and your DH's foot surgery goes well and that PG&E will stop being jacka**s with people's power. (Yeah, yeah i know what the alternative is, but still.)

Enjoy those Christmas lights!! Mine have been up and on since the beginning of the month....well at least inside my house. Outside is about halfway there lol.

 

[jen7233]

I have a Trader Joe's within a few miles and have been exactly once

We just got Costco memberships a month or two ago. We've had it before in other locations we've lived, but it's been about 6 years. We're using that pretty well!

 

[pblack]

I love trader Joe's, but I only get a few select things from them when I go, which isn't very often. The 2 near me are always crazy busy. But I love their frozen mashed potatoes and their vodka sauce for pasta.

 

[barkley]

I love trader Joe's, but I only get a few select things from them when I go, which isn't very often. The 2 near me are always crazy busy. But I love their frozen mashed potatoes and their vodka sauce for pasta.

we always have their srirachi bbq on hand (not that hot to begin with but the hot goes away when its cooked on something and it has an amazing flavor). if calories and fat were not an issue i could eat their frozen mac n cheese constantly (ds loves the pizza one). it's also the only place i can get certain items locally like dolmas and pure ground horseradish (not the diluted stuff).