Debt Dumpers 2023

[bababear_50]

Thanks guys,, lots of very kind advice,, I am sure I'll get this sorted into a new routine that is workable.
Yep I have been delaying the friends & family gift talk for toooooo long ,,thanks.
Thanks again
Hugs Mel

 

[pblack]

I'm also in the get paid once a month club (but my DH gets paid every 2 weeks). What I like to do is pay every bill I can when my check hits. I also keep a spreadsheet, or just a piece of paper, that lists whats in my account with the deposit and then everything that's coming out of my account. Bills/savings/etc. I guess kind of similar to like a check registry. This then tells me how much I have left after everything that needs to be paid gets paid (whether it comes out as soon as I pay it or if I have to schedule it later). It definitely takes some getting used to only getting paid once a month, but I think once you figure out a system that works for you you'll realize it's not that bad.

 

[barkley]

i prefer being paid once per month. when we first got into this (both of us retired) it took some getting used to (as suggested above-borrow from saving so you can be operating a month ahead of when the income lands) but i pay everything at the begining of the month and get it over with. it also helps us to assign every dollar in our budget and have it set to go into individual accounts-

'household account' (groceries, known monthly med co-pays, gas, cleaning products...)

'utilities/streaming' (we do a balanced payment plan on utilities so it's a fixed amount each month)

'xmas/bdays' (small amount each month to cover these costs when they arrise)

'reserve' (non monthly bills and unexpected expenses, an estimated yearly amount divided by 12 months so when they come up the money is there)

(if possible) 'savings' (if we get a c.o.l.a. on our social security or pensions and our cost of living does'nt necessitate using it we adjust this amount up).


THAT SAID, if a person can be disiplined about using a credit card and paying in full each month.......you can use a single credit card to make all payments on and then pay the balance in full each month. i do this b/c-

1. debit cards are too easy to hack/pain deal with bank on getting your funds back

2. i can monitor my household budget spending on a daily/weekly basis to see if i've overspent a bit and need to pull back OR if i underspent and can avail myself of a sale on something and stock up

3. generate a small 'bonus' fund-not talking about chasing card rewards but my credit union rewards mastercard only costs me $49 per year and rewards me 1-3% on every purchase (i select the highest setting for groceries/gas). between utilities, household expenses and such i end up charging at least $3K per month so at minimum i earn $30-$50 that i let sit and then let it sit until it builds up and do a hundred or so 'cash back' transfer to one of my bank accounts (frequently do this in november or december when i'm buying more groceries or gifts).

 

[slightly_obsessed]

Just wanted to chime in to say that I really like the energy of this thread (and disboards in general re:finances)--I pop in to read advice about finances and I appreciate the encouragement everyone's giving.

We've just moved into a new (to us) house and we're going through boxes we packed 2 years ago of old (even then) clothes and realize we'll never fit into some of those things and that they need to be donated/sold... any proceeds to help chip away at new house costs.

Welcome!! Congrats on the new home and good luck with the unpacking!

 

[goofytinkerbell]

Stupid busy week at work, and I haven't caught up on my home "stuff", but there's been things happening...

Financially:
1. Keep the credit cards empty - DONE! Still using them and paying them off before they start earning interest.
-One of my yearly major bills came in this week, so the card will take a hit soon. I've been putting off paying it, hoping to get most of the money together, but the extra costs of travel recently has made that impossible. It looks like I'll have to do this in the next week or two.
2. Figure out a way to put some sort of extra on the mortgage, even if it's the $100 minimum - DONE!
3. Get some things I NEED to have (rims/tires for the car, items that need replacing at home, etc)
-Still haven't installed the one thing I purchased last.
4. Get a savings plan going for the big stuff that comes due in one lump sum payment (insurance, property tax)
-No progress this week. I need to pay a fair bit for some #3 stuff, and need to determine how much that'll cost me before throwing money into savings. I also have several thousands of dollars of bills due in the next 2 months, and that's not even factoring in things like Christmas.

General stuff:
1. Make a will - DONE!
2. Continue to clear out the crap. I need to go through my clothes and that sort of thing. I got a pile done in 2022, but it really wasn't enough.
-12 items gone this week.
-Still no bites on the things I've posted for sale.
3. Look for a new job. The reason nothing has been getting done is because I'm burned out from my existing job and I'm being severely underpaid for the work I do.
-Checked the email notifications and jobs when I got the chance, but this has been largely put off due to the massive cluster that is my life
-I did manage to ger 3 applications out the door
4. Get my passport.-DONE!
5. Knock some half-finished projects off the list. Everything from making a scarf to some jewelry. Lots of stuff has been started, but not finished. Enough already!
-Progress halted again
6. Get into better shape. I'd like to say 'lose weight', but I'd be happy to be able to run up my own steps without getting winded. The weight loss may or may not come, but it's not as important.
-1 workout
7. Spend more time with loved ones. I don't see friends/family much. I guess I really need to do #3 in order to facilitate this one.
-Nothing this week
8. Organize my stuff!
Sorted through a small pile of papers, and made a pile of more things to post for sale

Work has been even worse this week, and there are big changes happening. I'm worried if I don't find something else soon things will get ugly. In the meantime the next week is probably a writeoff.

 

[ariel1025]

Credit card #1 paid in full as of 1.5 weeks ago!!

Next up, working on credit card #2 w/ $587.17 balance.

Doing better with not going out to eat but still have plenty of room for improvement…

Credit card #2 paid off!!

Having to shift gears from the snowball method. I just realized I have a 0% interest offer expiring in May, so that's next up on the list. Starting balance $5,419.67

Did horrible on not going out to eat this past week. Choosing today as a reset instead of using my old "I'll just wait until Sunday" excuse.

 

[barkley]

Credit card #2 paid off!!

Having to shift gears from the snowball method. I just realized I have a 0% interest offer expiring in May, so that's next up on the list. Starting balance $5,419.67

Did horrible on not going out to eat this past week. Choosing today as a reset instead of using my old "I'll just wait until Sunday" excuse.

 

[Tygerlilly]

I have no idea what my last update was, I think it was my mom's car crash at the beginning of the month. We were supposed to go car shopping last Saturday, but she didn't answer my calls or texts for 2 day. It's not totally abnormal for her and she's flaked out on our plans more times than I can count, but by the 3rd day I was worrying. An hour before the cut off time I was going to call the local police to go check on her, I finally got a text that says "I just found my phone" and then no other contact for another 2 days. She finally called me Tuesday and says not to be mad, but she fell Saturday and hit her head and had been crawling around since then and can't get up. I made her call the paramedics immediately to come get her and met her in the ER a little while later after hubby got home from work. I wanted to give them a little bit to do whatever testing needed done. I ended up taking her dogs to the kennel in the morning and she got transferred to the bigger hospital in the city. She's been there since Wednesday and they're going to move her to an inpatient rehab facility back in her town by Wednesday where she needs to be until she can walk on her own sufficiently. I have to try and get ahold of the kennel tomorrow and see if they can keep them 2 more weeks.

Y'all, we leave on the 3rd for our trip. Nothing is refundable and we have other family from out of state meeting us there so we can't really postpone. It's all a mess right now. I'm literally all my mom has here. Not only do I doubt they want her driving, but she doesn't even have a car right now.

Send some good thoughts our way that this all works itself out in time.

I also realize I sound bad, but I've been fighting with her for months about either needing to find a retirement facility or having a home health aide because she's not taking care of herself or her house and she's kept refusing. Had she had someone there to check on her, she wouldn't have spent 4 days crawling around instead of getting medical help. She's at least agreed to visit some places with me after we get home.

 

[barkley]

I have no idea what my last update was, I think it was my mom's car crash at the beginning of the month. We were supposed to go car shopping last Saturday, but she didn't answer my calls or texts for 2 day. It's not totally abnormal for her and she's flaked out on our plans more times than I can count, but by the 3rd day I was worrying. An hour before the cut off time I was going to call the local police to go check on her, I finally got a text that says "I just found my phone" and then no other contact for another 2 days. She finally called me Tuesday and says not to be mad, but she fell Saturday and hit her head and had been crawling around since then and can't get up. I made her call the paramedics immediately to come get her and met her in the ER a little while later after hubby got home from work. I wanted to give them a little bit to do whatever testing needed done. I ended up taking her dogs to the kennel in the morning and she got transferred to the bigger hospital in the city. She's been there since Wednesday and they're going to move her to an inpatient rehab facility back in her town by Wednesday where she needs to be until she can walk on her own sufficiently. I have to try and get ahold of the kennel tomorrow and see if they can keep them 2 more weeks.

Y'all, we leave on the 3rd for our trip. Nothing is refundable and we have other family from out of state meeting us there so we can't really postpone. It's all a mess right now. I'm literally all my mom has here. Not only do I doubt they want her driving, but she doesn't even have a car right now.

Send some good thoughts our way that this all works itself out in time.

I also realize I sound bad, but I've been fighting with her for months about either needing to find a retirement facility or having a home health aide because she's not taking care of herself or her house and she's kept refusing. Had she had someone there to check on her, she wouldn't have spent 4 days crawling around instead of getting medical help. She's at least agreed to visit some places with me after we get home.

talk to the doctors at the facility she will be in-be TRUTHFUL about your concerns, be forthcoming about being out of the area until a specific date and that there is NO ONE else to help her with a discharge-despite anything she may say to the contrary. tell them to make her PROVE she can do things vs. just saying she can to be eligible for release. tell the doctor you want something written up to say she is physically and mentally capable of operating a motor vehicle b/c of the head injury (don't assist her in getting another car until she has a medical release). call the ombudsment and/or adult protective services where she lives and share your concerns regarding her ability to self-care in her home, if they share your concerns they can go in (if she insists on going home alone) and make an assessment and take action to assure her safety.

dealt with these issues w/late mom and late mil-much easier to transition from rehab ficility to assisted living vs. them going back home and promising to accept help and 'look into a few places, see how it goes, take it one day at a time...'

 

[DisneyMandC]

I have no idea what my last update was, I think it was my mom's car crash at the beginning of the month. We were supposed to go car shopping last Saturday, but she didn't answer my calls or texts for 2 day. It's not totally abnormal for her and she's flaked out on our plans more times than I can count, but by the 3rd day I was worrying. An hour before the cut off time I was going to call the local police to go check on her, I finally got a text that says "I just found my phone" and then no other contact for another 2 days. She finally called me Tuesday and says not to be mad, but she fell Saturday and hit her head and had been crawling around since then and can't get up. I made her call the paramedics immediately to come get her and met her in the ER a little while later after hubby got home from work. I wanted to give them a little bit to do whatever testing needed done. I ended up taking her dogs to the kennel in the morning and she got transferred to the bigger hospital in the city. She's been there since Wednesday and they're going to move her to an inpatient rehab facility back in her town by Wednesday where she needs to be until she can walk on her own sufficiently. I have to try and get ahold of the kennel tomorrow and see if they can keep them 2 more weeks.

Y'all, we leave on the 3rd for our trip. Nothing is refundable and we have other family from out of state meeting us there so we can't really postpone. It's all a mess right now. I'm literally all my mom has here. Not only do I doubt they want her driving, but she doesn't even have a car right now.

Send some good thoughts our way that this all works itself out in time.

I also realize I sound bad, but I've been fighting with her for months about either needing to find a retirement facility or having a home health aide because she's not taking care of herself or her house and she's kept refusing. Had she had someone there to check on her, she wouldn't have spent 4 days crawling around instead of getting medical help. She's at least agreed to visit some places with me after we get home.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with that, that's really tough. It sounds like this has basically confirmed all your fears since your dad died. My mom and her siblings had to get pretty tough with their mom (my grandma). She fell in a grocery store at 86 and didn't tell anyone for days. Turns out she had spinal stenosis, couldn't feel her feet anymore, and broke a vertebrate when she fell. They basically just took her keys away and told her they were selling her car and moving her into a retirement home. She was furious at first but the whole family was just united in telling her she was going and she ultimately gave in and loved it there. It's really tough when you have to start parenting your parents. I dread the day we have to put my only remaining grandma into a retirement home. She just turned 85 and is in fantastic shape currently, but I know that can all change in an instant. My dad and uncle are dead, so it's up to me and my brother when the time comes.

 

[piglet1979]

I have no idea what my last update was, I think it was my mom's car crash at the beginning of the month. We were supposed to go car shopping last Saturday, but she didn't answer my calls or texts for 2 day. It's not totally abnormal for her and she's flaked out on our plans more times than I can count, but by the 3rd day I was worrying. An hour before the cut off time I was going to call the local police to go check on her, I finally got a text that says "I just found my phone" and then no other contact for another 2 days. She finally called me Tuesday and says not to be mad, but she fell Saturday and hit her head and had been crawling around since then and can't get up. I made her call the paramedics immediately to come get her and met her in the ER a little while later after hubby got home from work. I wanted to give them a little bit to do whatever testing needed done. I ended up taking her dogs to the kennel in the morning and she got transferred to the bigger hospital in the city. She's been there since Wednesday and they're going to move her to an inpatient rehab facility back in her town by Wednesday where she needs to be until she can walk on her own sufficiently. I have to try and get ahold of the kennel tomorrow and see if they can keep them 2 more weeks.

Y'all, we leave on the 3rd for our trip. Nothing is refundable and we have other family from out of state meeting us there so we can't really postpone. It's all a mess right now. I'm literally all my mom has here. Not only do I doubt they want her driving, but she doesn't even have a car right now.

Send some good thoughts our way that this all works itself out in time.

I also realize I sound bad, but I've been fighting with her for months about either needing to find a retirement facility or having a home health aide because she's not taking care of herself or her house and she's kept refusing. Had she had someone there to check on her, she wouldn't have spent 4 days crawling around instead of getting medical help. She's at least agreed to visit some places with me after we get home.

I am so sorry. We are dealing with the same thing with my husbands grandma. She fell in August but didn't tell anyone. Once we found out we got her to the doctor and started to do test and then she fell again. This time My husband was there and she broke her wrist. She was refusing any care or to do anything to help herself. It took a lot of convincing but she is now getting PT and OT for gait training and for her wrist and she has an aid that comes everyday for right now (she can't use her right hand at all until it is healed). They have been getting her to do her exercises and she is finally walking again. She was basically refusing to walk after the second fall. She was scared she would fall again. The doctor was blunt with her and told she needed to do this to be able to stay independent. We also got her a med alert necklace because she is home at night on her own.

 

[Tygerlilly]

talk to the doctors at the facility she will be in-be TRUTHFUL about your concerns, be forthcoming about being out of the area until a specific date and that there is NO ONE else to help her with a discharge-despite anything she may say to the contrary. tell them to make her PROVE she can do things vs. just saying she can to be eligible for release. tell the doctor you want something written up to say she is physically and mentally capable of operating a motor vehicle b/c of the head injury (don't assist her in getting another car until she has a medical release). call the ombudsment and/or adult protective services where she lives and share your concerns regarding her ability to self-care in her home, if they share your concerns they can go in (if she insists on going home alone) and make an assessment and take action to assure her safety.

dealt with these issues w/late mom and late mil-much easier to transition from rehab ficility to assisted living vs. them going back home and promising to accept help and 'look into a few places, see how it goes, take it one day at a time...'

I saw her yesterday and we had a long serious talk about the future. She agreed to the independent living place and even sounded kind of excited at the idea of it. She's sad we have to rehome her dogs because they have weight restrictions, but I told her once she's settled we'd find a small dog for her. I appreciate all the advice. I have no idea where to even begin with all of this.
She also agreed to not drive for a while, which was a massive relief to me.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with that, that's really tough. It sounds like this has basically confirmed all your fears since your dad died. My mom and her siblings had to get pretty tough with their mom (my grandma). She fell in a grocery store at 86 and didn't tell anyone for days. Turns out she had spinal stenosis, couldn't feel her feet anymore, and broke a vertebrate when she fell. They basically just took her keys away and told her they were selling her car and moving her into a retirement home. She was furious at first but the whole family was just united in telling her she was going and she ultimately gave in and loved it there. It's really tough when you have to start parenting your parents. I dread the day we have to put my only remaining grandma into a retirement home. She just turned 85 and is in fantastic shape currently, but I know that can all change in an instant. My dad and uncle are dead, so it's up to me and my brother when the time comes.

She's definitely coming around to the idea of the independent living place. I was telling about all the things they have for fun, the food she won't need to cook herself if she doesn't feel like it, that it's an apartment and not a room. She can have a car, in the future, if the doctors okay it, but I'm hoping she just let's me come get her when she wants to do something. The place does "field trips" and scheduled trips over to the stores if she wants to shop. Just have to get her thru rehab first.

Hopefully when the time comes, it's a smooth transition for you as well. I'm an only child so it's been a lot for me to deal with. Hopefully your brother and you can share the burden equally.

 

[Tygerlilly]

I am so sorry. We are dealing with the same thing with my husbands grandma. She fell in August but didn't tell anyone. Once we found out we got her to the doctor and started to do test and then she fell again. This time My husband was there and she broke her wrist. She was refusing any care or to do anything to help herself. It took a lot of convincing but she is now getting PT and OT for gait training and for her wrist and she has an aid that comes everyday for right now (she can't use her right hand at all until it is healed). They have been getting her to do her exercises and she is finally walking again. She was basically refusing to walk after the second fall. She was scared she would fall again. The doctor was blunt with her and told she needed to do this to be able to stay independent. We also got her a med alert necklace because she is home at night on her own.

I'm also sorry for you. I think a lot of my mom's issues is the same thing, fear of falling again. I'm considering one of those necklaces or bracelets until we can get her moved. I'm hoping she gets out before we leave for vacation and then we can move her when we get back. I'd love to give her two weeks at home to "say goodbye" to it properly. I also want her to be able to say goodbye to her dogs, because we will need to rehome them (which is a whole separate problem). I just worry about her being alone.

 

[Nettlelondon]

I'm also sorry for you. I think a lot of my mom's issues is the same thing, fear of falling again. I'm considering one of those necklaces or bracelets until we can get her moved. I'm hoping she gets out before we leave for vacation and then we can move her when we get back. I'd love to give her two weeks at home to "say goodbye" to it properly. I also want her to be able to say goodbye to her dogs, because we will need to rehome them (which is a whole separate problem). I just worry about her being alone.

I am in the UK so things are a bit different but I got my mum one of the care pendants a while ago. It's not ideal - if something happens when she is upstairs the base is too far away for her to hear what the people from the monitoring company are saying but they would call me and we could get something sorted. She was reluctant to wear it at first but then one of her friends had a fall and lay for several hours which persuaded her to put it on. It is such a reassurance and she is happy to pay for it.

My father-in-law fell over a couple of years after mum got her alarm and couldn't get up. He could reach his phone and rang his daughter who ended up calling an ambulance to him. At that point my husband and his sister decided that he should have an pendant. He was very grumpy about the idea, but they said we don't care, we are going to pay for it as reassurance for us, even if you don't want it. He didn't put it on to start off with and would just hang it on his table. However, whenever either of his children went to visit they would put it over his head and eventually he got bored of the battle and wears it now. And admits that it does make him feel a bit less nervous at times.

The peace of mind it give family is well worth the monthly fee.

 

[DisneyMandC]

I saw her yesterday and we had a long serious talk about the future. She agreed to the independent living place and even sounded kind of excited at the idea of it. She's sad we have to rehome her dogs because they have weight restrictions, but I told her once she's settled we'd find a small dog for her. I appreciate all the advice. I have no idea where to even begin with all of this.
She also agreed to not drive for a while, which was a massive relief to me.



She's definitely coming around to the idea of the independent living place. I was telling about all the things they have for fun, the food she won't need to cook herself if she doesn't feel like it, that it's an apartment and not a room. She can have a car, in the future, if the doctors okay it, but I'm hoping she just let's me come get her when she wants to do something. The place does "field trips" and scheduled trips over to the stores if she wants to shop. Just have to get her thru rehab first.

Hopefully when the time comes, it's a smooth transition for you as well. I'm an only child so it's been a lot for me to deal with. Hopefully your brother and you can share the burden equally.

My grandma's retirement community also had a bus that would take them out. It was fantastic because it had wheelchair/scooter accessibility since we got her a little Rascal scooter. She would just take the bus out anytime they were going to stores, even if she didn't need anything, and really enjoyed it. Honestly I think she liked it better than us taking her out because we couldn't get her big scooter in our vehicles like they bus could.

 

[piglet1979]

I'm also sorry for you. I think a lot of my mom's issues is the same thing, fear of falling again. I'm considering one of those necklaces or bracelets until we can get her moved. I'm hoping she gets out before we leave for vacation and then we can move her when we get back. I'd love to give her two weeks at home to "say goodbye" to it properly. I also want her to be able to say goodbye to her dogs, because we will need to rehome them (which is a whole separate problem). I just worry about her being alone.

We went with the ADP one. She doesn't wear while the aid is there but they put it around her neck when they leave. I can see her taking it off because she is annoyed with it but I don't think she can. She has bad shoulders so she can't lift her arms very high. Since Jeff and I live the closest to her (his mom lives over an hour away, we will get a call if she ever pushes the button. We are about 5 minutes from her and about the same distance as the closest fire station with an ambulance so we would get their at about the same time. It is a great pierce of mind that she has it.

 

[barkley]

but I told her once she's settled we'd find a small dog for her.

when you shop around rental insurance for her new place make sure they will allow for a dog so you don't have to go seeking a new policy down the line.

 

[goofytinkerbell]

I have no idea what my last update was, I think it was my mom's car crash at the beginning of the month. We were supposed to go car shopping last Saturday, but she didn't answer my calls or texts for 2 day. It's not totally abnormal for her and she's flaked out on our plans more times than I can count, but by the 3rd day I was worrying. An hour before the cut off time I was going to call the local police to go check on her, I finally got a text that says "I just found my phone" and then no other contact for another 2 days. She finally called me Tuesday and says not to be mad, but she fell Saturday and hit her head and had been crawling around since then and can't get up. I made her call the paramedics immediately to come get her and met her in the ER a little while later after hubby got home from work. I wanted to give them a little bit to do whatever testing needed done. I ended up taking her dogs to the kennel in the morning and she got transferred to the bigger hospital in the city. She's been there since Wednesday and they're going to move her to an inpatient rehab facility back in her town by Wednesday where she needs to be until she can walk on her own sufficiently. I have to try and get ahold of the kennel tomorrow and see if they can keep them 2 more weeks.

Y'all, we leave on the 3rd for our trip. Nothing is refundable and we have other family from out of state meeting us there so we can't really postpone. It's all a mess right now. I'm literally all my mom has here. Not only do I doubt they want her driving, but she doesn't even have a car right now.

Send some good thoughts our way that this all works itself out in time.

I also realize I sound bad, but I've been fighting with her for months about either needing to find a retirement facility or having a home health aide because she's not taking care of herself or her house and she's kept refusing. Had she had someone there to check on her, she wouldn't have spent 4 days crawling around instead of getting medical help. She's at least agreed to visit some places with me after we get home.

That's scary! And no, you don't sound bad. My parents can be extremely difficult, and someone who hasn't been in that sort of position just might not understand.

It's nice to see that things are looking up a bit. It's hard for them to let go of their independence. My parents haven't hit that point yet, but I can start to see it coming, especially with all the problems my Dad's had lately. If it helps, I find if they start to push back to hard it's sometimes beneficial to let it slide and then revisit it later (unless it's an immediate safety concern, obviously). Maybe pick a battle you think you can win in the meantime. Specific examples that back you up never hurt, but sometimes they just dig in their heels and there's nothing you can do

My aunt moved into one of those "senior" apartment complexes a few years back. Took us years to convince her to sell her house, but she absolutely loves it now. It's important to find a place that's a good fit. Anyhow, good luck. Feel free to rant to us when you need to!

 

[goofytinkerbell]

Where did this week even go? I did say I didn't expect to get much done

Financially:
1. Keep the credit cards empty - DONE! Still using them and paying them off before they start earning interest.
-I just had to dump over $2000 in bill payments (unavoidable) onto the card. Technically, I'm still "good" because it'll be weeks before interest is a accrued, so I'm going to try and find a way to cover it before then.
2. Figure out a way to put some sort of extra on the mortgage, even if it's the $100 minimum - DONE!
3. Get some things I NEED to have (rims/tires for the car, items that need replacing at home, etc)
-Still haven't installed the one thing I purchased last. I'll probably wait until after Halloween.
4. Get a savings plan going for the big stuff that comes due in one lump sum payment (insurance, property tax)
-No progress this week. I need to pay a fair bit for some #3 stuff, and need to determine how much that'll cost me before throwing money into savings. I also have several thousands of dollars of bills due in the next 2 months, and that's not even factoring in things like Christmas.

General stuff:
1. Make a will - DONE!
2. Continue to clear out the crap. I need to go through my clothes and that sort of thing. I got a pile done in 2022, but it really wasn't enough.
-1 item gone this week.
-I've been having issues with my 'for sale' items. Some of the bigger ones have higher price tags, and when I wasn't coming down to the level where I was basically giving things away I had threats. I'm starting to feel less than safe trying to sell things online
3. Look for a new job. The reason nothing has been getting done is because I'm burned out from my existing job and I'm being severely underpaid for the work I do.
-Checked the email notifications and job sites daily. Nothing this week to apply to.
4. Get my passport.-DONE!
5. Knock some half-finished projects off the list. Everything from making a scarf to some jewelry. Lots of stuff has been started, but not finished. Enough already!
-Progress halted again
6. Get into better shape. I'd like to say 'lose weight', but I'd be happy to be able to run up my own steps without getting winded. The weight loss may or may not come, but it's not as important.
-2 workouts
7. Spend more time with loved ones. I don't see friends/family much. I guess I really need to do #3 in order to facilitate this one.
-Spent the weekend with my family. It was a great time! It prevented me from getting other things done, but totally worth it.
-Did an escape room with co-workers. I'm friendly with them, so that counts... right? I didn't have to pay, and I had fun, so I'm calling this socialization.
8. Organize my stuff!
Sorted through some papers, and set aside more things to sell.

I have a huge list of calls to make and business type stuff to sort out, so that might eat up a lot of time this week. I also have to sit down with my list and prioritize some things.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

My dad's pendant is with Lifefone. They are pretty good. There's a box that you plug in kind of centrally located and you can silence the alarm on the box if you don't need help or you're just testing it, which they do recommend once per month. It has automatic fall detection. He remembers that part but forgets that there's a button on it too. It can go in the shower but he is so stubborn and insists on taking it off for showers. I keep telling him if he is showering when my niece isn't there, he absolutely needs to wear in the shower. He could fall and break the glass door/surround. I have to remind him that he spent 7 hours on his garage floor in winter. Ugh.

Lifefone warned me that we'll have false alarms and they were right. When my niece is there Mon-Fri, she quick hits the cancel button on the box. Last Sunday night/Mon morning, it alarmed at 3:00am. So they go down the list of phone numbers calling everyone and of course I can't say for sure by phone that he's fine so whenever they don't get a response, they send paramedics. They are given the passcode to open my dad's garage door to enter. Several times he has been startled awake by paramedics checking on him. I'd say it happens around once every 2 months.

I felt so guilty but after returning home 1am Friday am from San Diego, I could not adjust to Eastern Time all weekend. Sunday night at midnight I was finally getting to sleep and had to get up at 5am. When my niece isn't there to silence the alarm, and it's the wee hours of the morning, I have driven over there (2.5 miles) in my nightgown to see what happened. By the time I get there, paramedics usually have already left and he tells me I just missed them. With the alarm going off at 3am, I was so freaking tired I just couldn't. I figured either it's a false alarm or the paramedics will take him to the hospital and they will contact me. I felt so guilty but I just could not go all day at work on 3 hrs sleep. As it was I got around 4 hrs sleep. Wouldn't you know, I was on call (in case evening tech calls out) and sure enough she called out sick so I had to work 3 hours extra. That gets me home around 8pm. What a crappy day.

The dementia makes him say a lot of inappropriate things, sometimes very rude and hurtful. Sometimes he thinks he's making a joke but really it's just something crazy, off the wall, and it just wears you down to be around him more than a day. The one time I had him bring a cane with him to come to our house for dinner, he walked in and used the cane to poke dh in the butt and said, "Hurry up with making dinner!"

Anyway, thanks for letting me rant. With all this talk about caring for elderly parents, and after enjoying our 14 nt cruise through the Panama Canal this month, thanks to my niece being willing to stay 2 additional weekends when they would normally go home and have a break from him, I couldn't help but feel so fortunate to have her taking care of him. (So many of my patients tell me how they haven't had a vacation in years because of taking care of elderly parents.) I did pay her a good chunk for her added time there.

So today I booked a 4 nt Disney cruise for my niece & her family for Jan 31. It was a great deal. I have SW points for their flights. Her husband & kids all put up with him so they're all deserving of it.

Last weekend, his alarm went off at 8pm. I drove over there and paramedics were still there. It was a man and a woman. As I walked them to the front door, the man said, "I remember her!" but didn't point to anyone.
At first, I didn't know who he was referring to. Me? His collegue? No, he saw a portrait of my mom on the living room wall not far from the door and remembered her from 4.5 years ago. He took her to the hospital twice before she passed away. I was so shocked I just stood there at the door & cried my eyes out. I miss her so much.