I need strength and motivation to get me through it, if I could only see into the future to know that everything will turn out ok and I'll survive 1 day at the Food & Wine and a night at the Beach Club.
...but I say why should I? This has been going on for about 5 years and I'm sick of it!!! I want to go and have fun just like everyone else!
I think your last two and a half sentences says it all. It sounds like you're ready!
I know everyone is different, but I also have/had anxiety issues. Every once in a while, I would even have a panic attack. They suck and yes, friends/family that had never experienced either truly don't understand what it's like. Then one day, I also decided that I wanted to experience more and I started doing things (going to crowded or unfamiliar places) that I would have previously avoided. It helps to have someone - anyone - have faith in you that you can do it. But even more so, it seems like
you have faith in yourself and that's the
most important! I am lucky enough to have my husband as my supportive safety net because I don't always have faith in myself, but I'm getting better. Now, I've gotten used to going places that I would have been worried about. Not that there aren't still some butterflies (or kangaroos) in my stomach before I go, but once I get there, I'm so glad that I made the effort. And I've also met some great people and had wonderful conversations because I went.
Like I said, everyone is different, but I think you've got a great shot at going and having a great time! And if it ever gets to feel too much, find a quiet spot to re-group. Each time you go back into the crowd, it may be easier for you (it has been for me), but that first try is usually the hardest and most terrifying. Once you get through it, hopefully the rest will be better.
Best wishes and I hope you do have the most wonderful time!