I don't know why this keeps coming up. I'll say it a million times more and more... No one knew anything. If you read my story, you'll know that I hid everything for a very long time. The most anyone knew is that we had a tumultuous on again/off again relationship. I had only ever revealed what truly happened to my wife (when we first got serious.) I would bet money that Pete didn't even really remember that these events even happened. I never brought them up. He would've swept them under the rug thinking they'll never see the light of day again.
I kept all of this incredibly close to the vest. I truly wish the guessing of who knew something happened was not a part of the conversation. I was struggling to even come clean about a relationship with a man. It was never fully acknowledged on the show. My friends and family didn't know until the very end.
Again (and again) while their may have been concerning behavior and toxic environments... no one truly knew how deep any of this went with the exception of me and Sean (maybe there are others? I don't know) I can't reiterate enough that these people are good human beings and at the end of the day would've stood up for what's right.
I'm not coming at anyone in specific. I'm just trying to squash what I feel is an unnecessary point that keeps being brought up. These are decent humans, who did the best with the information they were provided, while also being subjected to bullying, torment, control, and verbal abuse themselves.
Please give them the benefit of the doubt. You are entitled to your opinions.... but seriously, that's all I ask.
Charles Boda here:
Pete confessed to me the truth of what he did to you after almost two years of villainizing you as the one who "broke his heart." Here is how that played out:
As most DIS fans know, I have a felony. What they don't realize is that the "domestic partner" everyone thinks I stabbed was actually an abusive roomate who drugged my drinks and sexually assaulted me. We were never in a relationship, and although I suspected he was obsessed with me, I wasn't entirely aware of the assaults until he showed me pictures of them. I vomitted. The next time he put his hands on me I defended myself. My abuser even tried to visit me in jail to get me to move back into the apartment we shared. Instead, I became homeless but my abuser continued to stalk me for months.
Cut to a few years later. I was living in Pete's spare bedroom and working for the DIS. Pete was my sponsor in an addiction recovery program. He was sitting in his office with me and explained his true behavior to you in some detail. No one else on staff knew, and they likely believed his fictional account of how you "broke his heart."
I told Pete what he did to you was essentially what my abuser did to me. Pete replied that he decided to be my sponsor (after initially thinking I was hot and then finding out I was straight) because helping me would be making amends for what he did to you. This was an emotionally damaging revelation (I was his penance for abusing someone else) and I felt like a fool for letting another abuser get close to me. I did not give him the judgement-free response he thought he was owed. After 3 days of checking my bathroom for hidden cameras (he admitted he had used them before), I moved out of the house but could not afford to quit the DIS.
I continued working and tried not to focus on what I knew about him. I didn't want to be homeless again after so much work turning my life around. I was scared and confused. Eventually, on a trip to DL, I lwt Pete know I was upset that he was involved in fat-shaming Kevin and John at a work dinner without them present. Pete does not accept any criticism from anyone, so he immediately cut me off from certain jobs responsibilities. I spoke with my girlfriend about his behavior when I got home and she helped me confrot what I'd been trying to block out the entire time. Pete is a narcissistic sexual predator who controls eveyone he knows, friends, family, employees, by getting them on his payroll somehow and using his money to exert power over them. Things that were treated normal by Pete ("take close-up pictures of that hot singer at at Tiana's Place, I'm gonna ask the Maitre D' if I can get a private meeting. They know who I am here.) that we'd just avoid and get back to our real work suddenly couldn't be avoided.
Once I faced that reality, I couldn't pretend anymore. I couldn't even look Pete in the face without revulsion. I refused to be controlled, left the DIS, and went freelance.
I internally debated coming out openly about what I had learned, but telling my story meant telling yours. I didn't think it was right to bring you into a public discussion. The internet can be very cruel and victimshaming.
Please forgive my lack of communication, but I have a lot of PTSD about what happened to me by my abuser and then Pete's confession after years of lying to me to gain my trust.
While working for the DIS I loved my job and my coworkers. Few people enabled Pete, most folks were just controlled or extorted by him. There are a lot of victims to go around.
I don't know if this reply will see the light of day. Life has been much more healthy and happy since I left the DIS. I don't want to open up Pandora's box of internet cruelty. Even if I have, I guess it's important to remember what was at the bottom of that mythical box after all the negative forces were set loose on the world: Hope.
I hope you're well. I hope you forgive my silence. I hope someone, somehow, learns from this.
TLDR: I knew, Pete confessed to me, I'm sorry