Disappointed

[bsmcneil]

In a different forum, someone posted this tonight about their own (separate from this place) experience with abuse and with some questions and statements about how people can "allow" abuse, it felt like a pertinent thing to share. I did get permission from the author to repost it; but, they asked that I not share their identity beyond the group we were in.

“As someone who spent time in an abusive marriage, I acknowledge the poor decisions that I made which contributed to my situation. But in no way is it my fault that I was abused by my spouse. Manipulative people manipulate. I was made to believe this was a good person. For months, I was treated wonderfully and made to feel so secure in our relationship. And then that rug was pulled out from under my feet and I was stuck in a situation that was very difficult to get out of.

There is a difference between accountability and victim blaming. I’m all for taking accountability. I am NOT about to excuse manipulation because I chose to trust someone and then they completely changed after months of being married.

I wasn’t willingly ignoring abuse. The abuse came on subtly, and slowly. Abusers are insidious and they spend time building a web of beliefs and lies, a facade, before revealing themselves.

You can heal, have accountability, AND blame your abuser. The abuser took advantage. The abuser manipulated. The abuser created the scenarios and the mentality that led to the excusing of any bad behavior.

Literally anyone can find themselves in abusive relationship without realizing, and it’s because you are manipulated into these kinds of relationships. Don’t pretend like there is something specific about victims that made them vulnerable. There may be commonalities, but it can happen to anyone.

You can hold yourself accountable for some things, but being a victim of an abuser is not one of those things.

There is no black and white, only grey. Your abusive relationship is not mine and vice versa. You can speak to your experience with abuse, and that’s really where it ends.

The reality is that victims are not to blame, even if they could have made better choices at times in a relationship. Someone took advantage of that and manipulated it. The not great choice never should have been manipulated.”

 

[LSUfan4444]

There is no black and white, only grey.

1000000000000000000%

This is where most people and most things live but a very loud minority live on one side or the other and constantly try to pull more and more people to their side. Those in power stay in power because of the conflict between those not in power struggling between black and white.

Happiness and life thrives in the grey.

 

[Skip Coffee for Rope Drop]

I am not cheering on Pete’s health. WTH? He drugged & raped people. Why are we cheering him on.

I am starting to understand why people are so angry. I only understood that Pete left for rehab and the website and the company fell into debt. Drugged and Rape is a different story. I will delete my posts. I only come on here for tips on vacations, dining, etc..God Bless the victims. I will delete my previous posts on this thread.

 

[ainswokp]

I doubt we will see videos with Pete removed, but it is probably a good move to remove videos with his thumbnail plastered on the Dis Unplugged YouTube page.

 

[starfrenzy]

In a different forum, someone posted this tonight about their own (separate from this place) experience with abuse and with some questions and statements about how people can "allow" abuse, it felt like a pertinent thing to share. I did get permission from the author to repost it; but, they asked that I not share their identity beyond the group we were in.

This is so well-written and absolutely true.

Abusers don’t abuse right away. They first get you to think they are wonderful and will help you handle all your needs. Once you are committed and somehow entangled (financially or with children, etc.) then slowly their true colors start to show.

Also, we’ve been well trained to recognize beatings as abuse. It can be harder to spot financial and emotional abuse. It can take time to look around and see the ways a person has isolated you and made you financially dependent. Getting out of abuse while financially dependent is very difficult. It takes time to work a plan to get out from under that. All the while the person (and their “flying monkeys” - friends & family knowingly or unknowingly doing the abuser’s bidding) is emotionally manipulating you to stay.

The poster who shared is absolutely right. Survivors aren’t “weaker” than the rest of us. They simply trusted, and that trust was taken advantage of in a very cruel, undercover way.

 

[18sprint]

Having just learned of Pete's resignation then searching and finding these posts on the DIS, I will admit I am stunned. Unlike sooooo many people who have posted that they have all the answers and inside information on the situation, I am claiming none of that. We have been watching the DIS and all the related videos over the years for 1) Entertainment value and 2) Information value. We have grown to view the folks who put on the shows and make the videos as virtual friends. We don't always agree with everything they say or review, but just how boring would it be if we did. We also had the privilege of meeting many of the DIS team on the podcast cruise last year. I can say from the short time we were able to interact with them, they were all very friendly and open considering they didn't know us from Adam!

If the DIS continues, which I certainly hope it does, we will support the show(s) along with Dreams Unlimited Travel. To all you keyboard jockeys who can do nothing but bad mouth everyone working there and spout theories about which you have no factual information......go somewhere else. Seek political careers where you are not held accountable for anything.

I do have one thing to say. Since John actually announced that Pete is no longer involved.....I will be
so happy not to hear him (pete) constantly say, "Monera is the CRACK dealer of the DVC world". Disgusting.

If any part of the small post offends anyone.....tough!

 

[TraderStitch]

The videos will stay up because of youtube's algorithm. Typically videos are only 5-10 minutes, to get as many views that Dis has with 50-over an hour is good. It will keep them relevant in searches. There is a whole metric behind it. If they remove those videos they will lose traction in searches.

It is great to be altruistic on the company's behalf but those older videos need to stay up there. I'm by no means saying I side with PW,(please see my previous posts), I'm just being practical for the team to keep money coming in from the channel.

 

[Ursula J]

The reason we all want to believe the other staff knew is that we all want to believe we would know. It feels vulnerable and scary to think we might be around abusers and not realize it. So we blame the people around the abuser--why didn't you stop it/step in? It's not that simple. I wish it were. As someone in a family that has been entirely broken by generational abuse--which stopped with my dad, may he rest in peace--I've spent so much time working through this.

 

[whiteness]

I purchased two properties through Moving to Orlando. The first, Joshua Evans was my agent. The second, Sean Faulk was my agent. I've also met PW and corresponded with him a bit.

Josh was very hard working and dedicated. Almost obsessively so. He might not have been the most knowledgeable agent I've ever worked with (full disclosure: I've bought and sold a fair number of properties), but his very positive attitude and genuine concern compensated for that.

Sean, on the other hand, seemed hands off and distracted by comparison. For various reasons, time was of the essence, and the deal almost fell through. That would have been very costly for me. I had to personally stay on top of all parties and shepherd things. It was very stressful. If Sean had been more supportive and engaged, I feel that would have helped me get through it. I often found myself wistfully looking back at Josh's time as my agent (unfortunately, I had been told that Josh left the company, which is why Sean was helping me.)

Sometime after closing, I was notified by Pete that Sean was no longer with MTO. I never complained to Sean or Pete or suggested that he didn't do a good job. But I wasn't as effusive in my praise of him as I was for Josh. I've done a lot of deals, so lack of experience was less of an issue for me than lack of enthusiasm. For me, Josh was a better fit.

In hindsight, after everything that has since been posted about that time period, it is perhaps understandable that Sean was going through a lot, too. I'm sure he's a fantastic agent when he's not having to deal with toxic *** in his life.

Sean, thank you for helping me even with everything else you were going through, and I wouldn't hesitate to work with you again in the future.

 

[Titanium]

Oh I absolutely remember it.

And tbh it does relate to the current situation, because I generally find as a multiply marginalized person that the people who scream the loudest about enforcing respectability politics and "you people are making us look bad" are the absolute worst behind closed doors.

In retrospect the "Go Get a Room" column is appalling and hypocritical to the nth degree but not really shocking. As you point out the ones screaming the loudest are often the worst in the light of day.

 

[themando]

I purchased two properties through Moving to Orlando. The first, Joshua Evans was my agent. The second, Sean Faulk was my agent. I've also met PW and corresponded with him a bit.

Josh was very hard working and dedicated. Almost obsessively so. He might not have been the most knowledgeable agent I've ever worked with (full disclosure: I've bought and sold a fair number of properties), but his very positive attitude and genuine concern compensated for that.

Sean, on the other hand, seemed hands off and distracted by comparison. For various reasons, time was of the essence, and the deal almost fell through. That would have been very costly for me. I had to personally stay on top of all parties and shepherd things. It was very stressful. If Sean had been more supportive and engaged, I feel that would have helped me get through it. I often found myself wistfully looking back at Josh's time as my agent (unfortunately, I had been told that Josh left the company, which is why Sean was helping me.)

Sometime after closing, I was notified by Pete that Sean was no longer with MTO. I never complained to Sean or Pete or suggested that he didn't do a good job. But I wasn't as effusive in my praise of him as I was for Josh. I've done a lot of deals, so lack of experience was less of an issue for me than lack of enthusiasm. For me, Josh was a better fit.

In hindsight, after everything that has since been posted about that time period, it is perhaps understandable that Sean was going through a lot, too. I'm sure he's a fantastic agent when he's not having to deal with toxic *** in his life.

Sean, thank you for helping me even with everything else you were going through, and I wouldn't hesitate to work with you again in the future.

I appreciate it and thank you for trusting us twice despite being new agents at the time. I no longer have access to emails to fully remember this deal, but I do remember the bulk. I know you were 1031 exchanging into an investment property that was a new construction home that wasn’t completed yet. I remember COVID caused a lot of supply delays which I think I remember being the issue, but it was a couple of years ago so I might be misremembering. I know after the closing you weren’t thrilled with the service and bookings you were getting with the on-site management company and you and I both reached out to them a few times about why your home wasn’t renting well and from what I knew, things improved.

While these items weren’t in my control, communication is and I apologize that I didn’t relay this situation better. 1031 exchanging into a home under construction isn’t usually what I would recommend someone do but I know you had been happy with Josh and the first home you had recently closed on in that same community so I moved forward that way.

Josh was a fantastic realtor and luckily with him being new, he didn’t have a lot of leads. When I first trained him he was extremely attentive to clients, which I told him was great but he would need to dial it back to have a work life balance in the future and he was setting himself up for burn out. The agents were 1099 and didn’t ‘work’ for Moving To Orlando, they work for their respective broker but I did have an internal policy that heavily encouraged agents to take minimum one week off - every 9 weeks and that I would step in and work their contracts for those times so they wouldn’t lose commission or leads. He chose not to do that and unfortunately burned out very quickly and left for his mental health. After recovery, he came back and worked as the administrator and Pete’s assistant until Pete and I sold. But Josh really did do a great job.

 

[whiteness]

I appreciate it and thank you for trusting us twice despite being new agents at the time. I no longer have access to emails to fully remember this deal, but I do remember the bulk. I know you were 1031 exchanging into an investment property that was a new construction home that wasn’t completed yet. I remember COVID caused a lot of supply delays which I think I remember being the issue, but it was a couple of years ago so I might be misremembering. I know after the closing you weren’t thrilled with the service and bookings you were getting with the on-site management company and you and I both reached out to them a few times about why your home wasn’t renting well and from what I knew, things improved.

While these items weren’t in my control, communication is and I apologize that I didn’t relay this situation better. 1031 exchanging into a home under construction isn’t usually what I would recommend someone do but I know you had been happy with Josh and the first home you had recently closed on in that same community so I moved forward that way.

Josh was a fantastic realtor and luckily with him being new, he didn’t have a lot of leads. When I first trained him he was extremely attentive to clients, which I told him was great but he would need to dial it back to have a work life balance in the future and he was setting himself up for burn out. The agents were 1099 and didn’t ‘work’ for Moving To Orlando, they work for their respective broker but I did have an internal policy that heavily encouraged agents to take minimum one week off - every 9 weeks and that I would step in and work their contracts for those times so they wouldn’t lose commission or leads. He chose not to do that and unfortunately burned out very quickly and left for his mental health. After recovery, he came back and worked as the administrator and Pete’s assistant until Pete and I sold. But Josh really did do a great job.

The first property is still doing better than the second. I suspect that the second one isn't a good fit for current market conditions. Hopefully, as the market evolves, that will change. If not, It'd probably be a great place to live if I ever decide to downsize LOL. It's for sure a very nice property and everyone that's stayed there has loved it.

Josh was a good guy. Sorry he got burned out. People cannot neglect their own needs and health when taking care of others. If you are still in contact with him, please tell him we still remember what a great job he did for us and what a good person he was. I hope PW didn't give him a hard time, too. I seem to recall he once told me he was related to PW, but I may be mistaken.

Things have a way of working out, even when it doesn't seem like they will. I'm glad you're in a better place, now. I always liked PW's public persona (he's the reason I choose MTO), and he seemed like an OK person during my brief interactions. I wish he could have continued to be that person that was loved and admired by his fans. Maybe, someday, he can be, again. It's tragic, and all too common, that someone who is talented is also destructive.

 

[limace]

This is so well-written and absolutely true.

Abusers don’t abuse right away. They first get you to think they are wonderful and will help you handle all your needs. Once you are committed and somehow entangled (financially or with children, etc.) then slowly their true colors start to show.

Also, we’ve been well trained to recognize beatings as abuse. It can be harder to spot financial and emotional abuse. It can take time to look around and see the ways a person has isolated you and made you financially dependent. Getting out of abuse while financially dependent is very difficult. It takes time to work a plan to get out from under that. All the while the person (and their “flying monkeys” - friends & family knowingly or unknowingly doing the abuser’s bidding) is emotionally manipulating you to stay.

The poster who shared is absolutely right. Survivors aren’t “weaker” than the rest of us. They simply trusted, and that trust was taken advantage of in a very cruel, undercover way.

This is exactly right. I’ve worked in the field of child abuse and sex offenders for decades now-and something that always has stuck with me is the concept that those who sexually abuse others have to focus all of their energy on getting access to victims and concealing their behavior in order to keep that access. It’s just like an addiction-you’ll never stop an alcoholic by hiding the alcohol. The rest of us are living our lives and juggling many areas of importance and it is very very difficult for us to put as much energy into exposing this behavior as they put into concealing it.

It is also human nature, I believe, to want to think things are ok and that those around us are doing their best, just like we are. Some folks go through life suspicious of everyone and while they might be safer, they probably aren’t happier.

This isn’t an excuse for anyone-just a comment that it is very very common, when abusive behavior (sex abuse, domestic violence, substance use disorder) for those who are close to look back and put all the pieces together and feel like they should’ve known, or it’s so insipid in hindsight. And I’m not saying we shouldn’t learn things from our hindsight-I definitely have had similar experiences where I’ve learned later a friend was being abused by her husband, or that a coworker was sexually harassing younger women at work-where I’ve agonized over what I missed and what I should’ve done differently.

But abusers are expert manipulators. They often hide their true selves from those who think they are closest-Pete’s mom, for instance, I’m sure loves her son dearly and has probably believed the stories he’s told her about why his relationships ended.

I’m sick with all of you, by the way. I’ve religiously listened for years. I’ve always hated Pete’s rants and the way he addressed his employees or Disney employees on occasions, but I’ve liked a lot of his other content. I do this work-abuse intervention-for a living and had no clue this was happening behind the scenes.

 

[DisneyDaddy01]

Look, I get there’s a lot going on right now at the Dis. But I am feeling so many emotions. Shocked by the rumors, saddened about the possibility of the show ending- it’s been a big point of comfort for me over the past few years. But idk, feels like they’re handling this wrong like they need some sort of crisis management team or something. It’s not helping, how they’re handling it now…..just making the implosion feel even worse. Just my opinion

I could not have said it better. Thanks for doing it for me.

 

[leaf44]

As a victim of narcissistic emotional and mental abuse by a “friend” I echo everything people are saying. It starts so subtlety that you don’t know you are in it until it’s too late. People like Pete too, often use other’s empathy and compassion as a weapon by relating their tough background to guilt and trap their victims.

In my case it was my friend’s past abandonment by her mother, adoption and mental health battles that kept me trapped by my own empathy which she weaponized.

I was also vulnerable because I was going to grad school full time and working full time, changing careers at 40 while caring for elderly parents. She knew my resilience was low and had not tolerance for my lack of time for her own personal needs.

Reading Dustin’s and Sean’s accounts brought back so much anxiety because it was incredibly familiar. The insane responses when I didn’t immediately communicate back, the bullying to break down my sense of self worth (followed by crazy compliments and apologies), the gifting and kind gestures purely as a form of future manipulation, the unpredictable anger, the long never ending conversations (like hours) about how I needed to change or just accept that fact that I was wrong about my own judgement, the boundary crossing, and most of all the suffocating feeling of being trapped.

My own abuser was at the center of the running community around which my social life was built and was considered a leader and amazing person by so many people. This made it incredibly difficult to walk away and made me feel crazy. When I finally had the strength to walk away, I had to leave behind the entire community to get myself back. That is until months later when other victims came forward because it’s rarely just one person being victimized.

I see so many people here reacting the way those in my life did when I finally revealed my own experience. Giving the abuser a pass or making me feel crazy.

It makes me sad angry for Pete’s victims because it took incredible courage for them to come forward, especially about their own experience which included far more horrific violations.

I often call on this meme to illustrate why people need to look beyond their own experience:



The point is this can happen to anyone, anywhere and you may not see it coming. So have compassion for those who share their experience and if it doesn’t happen to you be grateful instead of judgemental

 

[bsmcneil]

Reading Dustin’s and Sean’s accounts brought back so much anxiety because it was incredibly familiar. The insane responses when I didn’t immediately communicate back, the bullying to break down my sense of self worth (followed by crazy compliments and apologies), the gifting and kind gestures purely as a form of future manipulation, the unpredictable anger, the long never ending conversations (like hours) about how I needed to change or just accept that fact that I was wrong about my own judgement, the boundary crossing, and most of all the suffocating feeling of being trapped.

My own abuser was at the center of the running community around which my social life was built and was considered a leader and amazing person by so many people. This made it incredibly difficult to walk away and made me feel crazy. When I finally had the strength to walk away, I had to leave behind the entire community to get myself back. That is until months later when other victims came forward because it’s rarely just one person being victimized.

The point is this can happen to anyone, anywhere and you may not see it coming. So have compassion for those who share their experience and if it doesn’t happen to you be grateful instead of judgemental

So much of this resonates with me and my own experience with being abused. Thank you for speaking out.

 

[dvcgirl67]

He sure does. It's suspected that much of the Amex debt could be gambling or cash advances for the purpose of gambling.

I wondered if there was a gambling addiction. That makes sense how he got to that level of debt so quickly. When did the two alleged victims start to speak out? It would seem that their speaking out really made him completely spiral. I remember he announced he was going to rehab....then came back a month later....and then shortly after that he decided that he didn't need to be on the main podcast anymore (which I thought was really odd....he seemed to thrive on the attention). And then when they said, we're moving the studio so Kevin can get in there....I thought....that makes no sense, because Kevin had been in there a million times and that was a pretty dedicated studio that he had in that house. That's when I figured something big was up.

 

[RAD]

I wondered if there was a gambling addiction. That makes sense how he got to that level of debt so quickly.

IMHO he just likes to spend money. I’ve seen his shows where he comes back from a cruise and shows off all the jewelry he’s bought. He’s mentioned about all the electronic toys he buys from watches, smart phones, gaming systems and the games that go with them. He’s always talking about when he does his reviews of cruises, rooms at Disney resorts they are paid for and not comped by Disney. Plus he’s always flying business class on all his trips and that isn’t cheap.

 

[DLgal]

IMHO he just likes to spend money. I’ve seen his shows where he comes back from a cruise and shows off all the jewelry he’s bought. He’s mentioned about all the electronic toys he buys from watches, smart phones, gaming systems and the games that go with them. He’s always talking about when he does his reviews of cruises, rooms at Disney resorts they are paid for and not comped by Disney. Plus he’s always flying business class on all his trips and that isn’t cheap.

Sean said he is a huge gambler. He even spends money to gamble on his phone where the prizes are not even ACTUAL money but, like, cartoon coins or whatever. He spends the majority of his time on non DCL cruises in the casino.

 

[dvcgirl67]

Also, we’ve been well trained to recognize beatings as abuse. It can be harder to spot financial and emotional abuse. It can take time to look around and see the ways a person has isolated you and made you financially dependent. Getting out of abuse while financially dependent is very difficult. It takes time to work a plan to get out from under that. All the while the person (and their “flying monkeys” - friends & family knowingly or unknowingly doing the abuser’s bidding) is emotionally manipulating you to stay.

This is exactly right, what has been described, especially by Sean is coercive control. Luring one into a relationship with lavish gifts like big DVC contracts, luxury cars for the person and family.....and then whenever there's an issue or the victim tries to leave, the threats begin to fly....like "well, if you leave, I'm not making the payments anymore"....classic coercive control.

This guy is like Dirty John....if he dressed like Tiger King. Just insane.