Do I 'have' to Baptise.....

[Mouse House Mama]

You don't HAVE to do anything. It is your choice as a parent what you want to do. However, I personally think you need to give your children something to believe in. It doesn't matter what but something. JMHO of course.

 

[JoBird]

My Pastor was raised in the Catholic faith- he left the church and is now our Pastor---nondenominational type.

What he says about Baptising babies is actually very funny.

He says that If you want to baptise them, that's great. However, It won't get them into Heaven, and that The only thing you'll have is a wet Baby.

I do tend to agree-
Instead of baptising our childern at an early age, we had a "dedication" ceremony with the Pastor, saying that we in actuality "give" them back to God and ask for His hand to be upon them thru life, asking for guidance to rear them to the best of our ability with His help.

We aren't "Promising" God that we will raise them in a particular faith- just that we dedicate ourselves to raising them with God's help.

Once our childern grew up a bit and invited Christ into their hearts, then they began to ask about baptism, and that's when we had them baptised. And it was very very special, knowing that in their hearts, they decided the time was right for them.


Good luck with your decision.

Jo

 

[NotUrsula]

Baptism of babies does nothing for the child. When the child is old enough to understand what baptism is, he can make his own choice about what to do.
The only reason I would ever support baptism of babies is for the parents (and others) to make a commitment to raise the child in Christ.

If that's your faith's theology. If you happen to be Roman Catholic, there is a strong theological emphasis on immediate Baptism, and some quite serious reasons why it is considered a very important thing to do for your child.

For the OP, yes, you probably did hear prayers in Italian. Your DH's relatives are worried that if [God forbid] something should happen to the baby to cause her death before Baptism, that she would end up in Hell for eternity.
Again, the Pope has recently offered a differing opinion on what the consequences *might* be, but people tend to continue to believe the theology that they absorb in childhood, so I would say that you are in for a whole lot of pressure. If you wish to just set their fears to rest, then let one of those family members babysit over a weekend. I can almost guarantee that someone will take the baby to Mass and informally baptize her with Holy Water from the wells at the church doors. It happens a lot in devout families when someone balks at the formal ritual of infant baptism.

PS: the informal (and undocumented) type of baptism is supposed to work just fine in securing one's access to heaven. However, it won't help you get earthly permission for a church wedding later on.

 

[KatheeME]

Um, NO.

Kathee

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

I know this as I am Catholic, too. Maybe that's why I'm afraid?

My DH family is Italian Catholic.

When I told my one SIL about this, I think I heard her praying in Italian for my DD while she was holding her!

OMG speaking from experiece as another Italian whose grandfather converted his whole family to protestant becasue he could not stand the hypocrisy of the Catholic Church I still got pressure from my mother to baptise as I also did from my Irish Catholic MIL. Honestly, I basically did it to get people off my back . It might be easier for you to just do it and keep them from tormenting you . I KNOW how Italian and also Irish mothers can be.

 

[Mahnahmahnah]

Hmmm, if my mother wasn't an only child I would swear she was your SIL.
I've seen babies at our church baptized because the grandparents want it done.

Oh - I see you're from JERSEY too! That may have a little somethin' to do with it too! You REALLY understand!

Thanks everyone- I appreciate the responses!


Also - I don't see how God would "punish" my innocent baby for a decision "I" am making.

(Sorry - don't know how to multi quote )

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

I don't believe any sort of religious ceremony for an infant is a 'must do'. We didn't do it for DS and he's turned out relatively normal.

For me, personally, I think religion is something you have to figure out on your own and baptism is a BIG step that only YOU can decide to take. I don't like infant baptisms because I believe a person should decide for themselves whether they actually want to be baptised or not.

 

[KirstenB]

We're Episcopalian, and like Catholics, we do infant baptism. It was something I felt very strongly about having for both our daughters. The world is a tough place, and it felt like they were starting off life with God watching over them. I understand your question, and you really do need to make your own decision on this.

 

[Sandy V.]

Why would God send an innocent child to Hell just because it wasn't baptised yet?

Very good point.

 

[akhenaten]

I voted other LOL

I think baptism is important..i had my children baptized...

I think any religious ceremony could be lovely

I know you won't burn in hell if you don't have your child baptized..

BUT...... having a ceremony to welcome your little one it is beautiful....a gathering of family and friends...there are non religious welcome ceremonies also...( i think marianne williamson?(she was on oprah years ago) has some in her books)

the italian catholics may make you pay for not having your child baptized..... it may be worth the family peace to do it!!!!

 

[Laura]

You can have a Naming Ceremony, and not the Hindu/Jewish religious type. I guess the nearest would be the Humanist kind - it's just about welcoming the child into the world. I've been to many and they've all been wonderful, but none of them have had a ceremony. The parents made speeches about their child and some chose to name a friend or two who they gave responsibility to in helping to guide their child to adulthood, kind of like godparents but without the religion.

I like that idea; I'll probably wind up doing something like that when I have a kid.

Mahnahmahnah, I was raised Catholic, too. I don't believe in it any more, though, and I don't want to be a hypocrite and perform a ceremony on my future child that I don't agree with. DH was raised Methodist, and they don't baptize infants--his family won't give us any flak, but I wonder about my Catholic relatives. Lots of Christian sects, though, let the children decide the timing of baptism for themselves.

 

[koalababy]

Unless you believe that to get into heaven you need to be baptised....

What happens if the child dies at an age before they've decided they want to be baptised?

If you believe that your God will take an innocent baby's life then send him to hell because of something the parents didn't do, then perhaps you need to reexamine your faith and why you feel the need to praise such a diety.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

I asked that question once, when I was a teenager, and the pastor of my mom's church just kind of got squirmy.

 

[DevilDuckie]

I believe that participating in such things if you don't actually believe in them is kind of disrespectful. These ceremonies are important to believers- they aren't a checkbox to tick off on a list. I hate seeing them done just to shut up grandma.

I also believe that baptizing people who cannot choose for themselves is pointless- YOU cannot promise that someone else will be a good Christian. My son is 10 and when/if it matters to him he will be baptized. For now he knows God and that's good enough. Formalizing the relationship needs to be his choice.

 

[ICF]

If you believe that your God will take an innocent baby's life then send him to hell because of something the parents didn't do, then perhaps you need to reexamine your faith and why you feel the need to praise such a diety.

Did I say that they were going to hell? Some religions feel that only those baptized can get into heaven....

Some could also argue that if a childs parents (not directed towared the OP, just in general) don't care enough or have enough interest in "religion" (not saying any certain one, but just the general concept) to get their child baptized, they may not actually believe in a heaven or hell, just that when you die....you die...in which case hell would never enter the equation.

 

[waltskids]

You need to do what feels best for your family, not what someone else tells you is right (or wrong). For us, we were both raised in Christian households (DH is Methodist and I am Catholic). We were married Catholic and we baptized our DS as a Catholic as well. We both attend Catholic church and our son does as well. Ultimately, DH felt I was stronger in my faith which is why we decided on our child being baptized in the Catholic church. Good luck with your decision.

And as other posters have said, it shouldn't be done as part of a 'checklist' or for a grandparent. If it is not important to your faith, then what's the point...

 

[englishteacha]

I'm Protestant, so my opinion may differ from a Catholic's perspective. Babies started to be baptized when the infant mortality rate was very high. People were afraid an unbaptized child wouldn't get into heaven. I was baptized in a Methodist church when I was a year or so old. When I was 13 I decided to become a confirmed member of my Congregational church, which is a reaffirmation of baptism. The cermony is almost the same, without the water. I have many friends whose parents waited to baptize them, wanting the child to make their own decision, and they were then baptized when they chose to join a church. Personally, it's not a big deal to me, and I honestly don't think that God cares whether or not a child is baptized. It's how you choose to raise a child that's important. Dunking them just to be "on the safe side" seems a bit silly to me.

 

[fortheluvofpooh]

it depends on your religion. We are Episcopalian and yes we do baptize. Our friends are I believe methodist or presbyterian, not sure and they do a blessing and when the child is old enough they are baptised. I do believe the baptist do this also.

 

[NY Disney fan]

All you NEED to do is what you and DH are comfortable with. Who cares what others think. It's NONE of their business.

I took this approach...and it backfired on me. I'm agnostic (former Catholic) and when my daughter was born I had no intention of baptizing her (in other Christian sects they baptize as adults or when the person is old enough to accept Christ.) In Catholic church they get them as babies. So, I had no intention of baptizing. My family hounded me and hounded me. I kept arguing and discussing. I am very close to my family and they are important to me. Both sides of the family was getting more aggressive toward me "When are you gonig to baptize?" "When, when, when...!!!" When she turned 18 months I decided to baptize her in the Catholic church just to get my family off my back! I have to live with them. I have to love them. I did it for them.

 

[goofy4tink]

I know this as I am Catholic, too. Maybe that's why I'm afraid?

My DH family is Italian Catholic.

When I told my one SIL about this, I think I heard her praying in Italian for my DD while she was holding her!

I know that my mom 'baptized' each one of her grandchildren the first time she held them. Too funny. I don't think my brothers ever knew that. Was she a priest or a pastor? Nope, just did it on her own.
Now...we grew up in the Episcopalian church. I still attend..same church I grew up in. We were all baptized. We were all confirmed...well, I was. I think 2 of my 3 brothers were, but not sure.
All three of my children were baptized, all three have had first communion. My dd, 14, is looking at being confirmed next year. Other two kids (35, and 32 were not confirmed).
Why do I tell you all this?? Because it's a family thing. It's what I believe is the spiritually right thing to do.....for my family. You? It depends on what you believe. If you don't care either way, and don't belong to a church, then I guess it may be hypercritical to baptize your child. If any of the grandparents actively belong to a church, they may feel strongly though. You 'may' want to look into baptizing your child in a grandparents church just to make them happy.

My brother actually had his only child baptized because it was a good excuse for a big party!! And th baby would get gifts, and money!! Yep, hard to believe.
My other brother didn't have either one of his two boys baptized. But, then again, Mom took care of that on the sly. Made her feel better.

It's up to you, the parents what you want to do with your child. Baptism doesn't automatically make a child more spiritual. It's just a formality...welcoming the child into the body of Christ, as a member of the church until he/she can make those promises him/herself. There are other much more meaningful rites of passage in the church...depending on what denomination you are.

Go with what your gut tells you. If your child grows up and doesn't like your choices on his/her behalf, they can make new ones for themselves. Nothing is etched in stone. Well, there are some Jewish rites that are pretty permanant but we're not going there!