I have no fear of responding truthfully and candidly, and I did. I don't charge people. I don't know if others do or don't, but I do not. If your financial circumstances prohibit you from offering free accommodations to family or friends, there's nothing wrong with that. For others, the ability to do so may very well be less of a financial burden and that's ok too. To suggest that people are "afraid" to volunteer a truthful answer, when they can simply choose not to respond at all, is a bit of a stretch.
The point was that after a bunch of people chime in to say they would never dream of charging someone, and some of the posts do suggest that it would be unkind to do so, I believe people are less likely to admit that they are charging. As you're demonstrating, people like to talk about their kindness.
What I'd find interesting is why those people that are assumed to be lying feel they can't be honest. Is there some implied stigma attached to charging friends and family? Do they feel there is some societal norm or convention that they think they have violated? People are typically less than truthful out of shame or guilt, or a sense that their actions are not aligned with generally accepted societal norms.
Right, but the very first seven posts in response to the question were in the negative. It's not like someone answered "yes" first, then everyone piled on with contrived responses to berate them or gang up on them (I don't think anyone has been outwardly critical of those who do charge family and friends). And no, I don't like to talk about my kindness (I actually suggested that everything balances out, and that it's not some charity effort on my part, so that's a non-starter), but I will respond when it's suggested that I am a liar.
I feel like we are reading different posts?
Indeed, I absolutely did not mean that anybody was lying! I assume everybody posting here is being honest. I have no reason to think otherwise!
I responded early in that I did charge my family, and honestly I deleted what I was posting before deciding to go back and actually post it because after reading so many people giving away free trips I kind of felt like a jerk.
And my point is that you said this:
Which suggests that a whole bunch of people (the vast majority in the thread) answered honestly that they don't charge, but that there are somehow some similar number who just happened to all be late to the party and would answer differently if not for all the "generous" folks tooting their own horns in "public statements" making them feel uncomfortable telling the truth. An answer skewed by someone "afraid to say" what they really want to say, is, but its very nature, untruthful.
You are interpreting my statement to mean something it did not. I am not saying that people would have lied, I'm saying the responses are skewed because those people just plain don't answer. On the first page there is already someone making fun of the idea of charging people for the room.
There is absolutely no reason to feel like a jerk. You do what is right for you, and your friends and family. As I said, I don't charge...but at the same time, my family and friends do things for me all year long, we help each other when we can. Sometimes they help remodel a rental unit, sometimes they provide transportation to/from the airport, or pay for a weekend getaway to the coast that they don't charge me for. As I said, my dentist gave me free dentistry for a year after I treated his daughter...so it kind of like an even exchange or barter. And as I said, everyone pays their park tickets and transportation to/from Orlando. If you don't have that type of relationship with your friends and family, or if they don't live near enough to reciprocate in some other way, charging them makes perfect sense.
To be fair, I really wasn't trying to make a big deal out of this. I didn't think it was a big deal. I only commented more in the conversation because I was being called out.
