Does anyone ever apologize anymore?

[DisneyHardin]

It's crazy when someone acknowledges they did something via their body language and then doesn't apologize. About a year ago I was in a parking lot loading grocery bags into the back of my van. A man in another van backed out of the spot across from and backed into me (my actual body, not my car). I was stunned and turned toward him - he slowed, made eye contact and then zoomed off. My DH was furious when I told him and he wanted to contact the store and see if we could get the guys plates from the surveillance videos, but since I wasn't really hurt other than a bruise, I didn't pursue it.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I don't view it that way at all I see as a service that they made my food or smoothie I see as a service that they waited on me so I can get what I want or needed that day so no I don't see in the above scenario that I did them a favor I see they did me one

True, they are providing you a service and it's polite to thank them for doing a good job. However, if no one ever went into their business and ordered food, they would go out of business. Also, you have a choice in where you choose to spend your money. When you choose to spend it at a particular place, they should be grateful and thank you for giving them your business.

 

[Magpie]

It's a millennial thing

Also, an entitled old person thing.

Actually, scratch that, I suspect it's pretty much an everyone thing!

 

[ronandannette]

This was so fun to read! Thank you! Reading on my phone, as I slowly scrolled down I found myself hoping it wouldn't end. I'm only sorry it didn't go on longer.

Oh, and if I ever visit Canada I will be sure to apologize both ways.....at the same time........frequently.......and with enthusiasm.

Yes, definitely do that. I'm still confused by the OP - didn't you apologize for getting in the way of the carts?

 

[BrinkofSunshine]

My go-to response to bumping someone, even when they bump me, is to say "sorry". I also apologize to animals and the occasional inanimate object.

OP, I'm sorry you had such unfortunate run-ins with rude people. I wish I couldn't believe that a vomiting baby wouldn't be enough to elicit an apology, but unfortunately I can.

 

[SirDuff]

I was hoping to see a fellow Canadian in this thread! Thank you for the link on the legal differences. I'd also add, culturally speaking, there are many different meanings the word "sorry" can have...



There's the sincere, "Sorry!" which has a slight rise at the end and is said quickly. That's what you say when you (gently) brush into someone, or cut them off walking.

The even quicker spoken, "Sorry!" which is an expression of surprise or startlement. This is what you say to the lamppost when you've walked into it.

The, "Oh God, I'm SO sorry! Are you okay?" For times when you've mowed someone down with your shopping cart or let your baby spit up on them.

The eyeroll combined with an annoyed, "So--orry!" if you think they're overreacting or being ridiculous.

The questioning, "Sorry?" when you're confused and need someone to explain what they've just said. It basically means the same as, "Wut?"

The "Sorry-sorry!" if you've just embarrassed yourself. Dropping the toast butter side down is a good time to use this one. It's not directed at anyone or anything.

The empathic, "I'm so sorry!" which just means, "I feel sorry for you."

And the purely passive-aggressive, flat-toned, "Sorry if I've upset you." Which usually leads to the other person hollering, "No, you're NOT!"

Yes, in Canada, "Sorry" can even be the equivalent of putting a middle finger up, depending on how it's said.


For the record, I apologize a lot.

I've been living the US for a while and now live in Europe. You skipped the "Oh, umm, sorry?" when told off for apologising so much

 

[AquamarineSteph]

I'm so very sorry that happened to you!

And what's worse, I can totally believe that nobody bothered to say 'sorry' or 'excuse me' or anything else.

 

[kaytieeldr]

When you buy something and give someone money, shouldn't they say thank you?

No? Was always taught/told to thank the person for the transaction, but not specifically for handing over cash. If that were appropriate, then thanking the seller for providing the purchased item would be as well

 

[kaytieeldr]

Imho...
I would like to see the presiding Mass. Judge ..
Apologize to the family of deceased Conrad Roy. A very sad day

The judge Just allowed the convicted Manslaughter defendant to walk....
He handed down 15 mos, then discounted that ... then Stayed it all..
Until an Appeal is heard.
She walks...

RIP Conrad Roy. Pray for the Roy family

and
Disagree.
Apologizing to the family of the deceased provides the defense with more ammunition for the appeals.
Carter was found guilty and sentenced.
She was sentenced to 2.5 years, with the sentence reduced to 15 months.I
It is not unusual to delay serving a sentence while there are active appeals. Better than The government having to apologize for wrongful conviction and for keeping someone in prison for years.
The findings and sentencing were not ever for the family. They are legal issues to punish a crime.

 

[Westcoastwild]

Imho...
I would like to see the presiding Mass. Judge ..
Apologize to the family of deceased Conrad Roy. A very sad day

The judge Just allowed the CONVICTED Manslaughter defendant to walk....
He handed down 15 mos, then discounted that ... then Stayed it all..
Until an Appeal is heard.
She walks...

RIP Conrad Roy. Pray for the Roy family

Oh, good grief. No. Not only does that have nothing to do with the actual thread...The court system decides the verdict based on what the person did, as an unbiased entity. They're no more obligated to apologize to the victim's family than they are to the defendant, and to do either would open them up to accusations of bias.

I would have called out the lady who allowed the kid to puke on you, OP. That's not even just rude. That's disgusting and something that probably could have been brought to CM's attention.

 

[NFLDERS]

I must live in a different world cause everyone apologizes where I live including me

A lot of snowbirds in Florida Eh! The saying around here is, If a tree falls in the forest will it be heard; Yes, and if it's by a Canadian, they will say sorry!

 

[NFLDERS]

The second two episodes the OP mentioned would have annoyed me, but the first one is absolutely inexcusable to not apologize for it. Gross!! I know if it happened to me I would not have been able to keep myself from telling her what I thought. She should have been very apologetic to the OP. Wow.

I think some people are just plain losing their sense of manners these days, also not bothering to teach their children basic manners as well. Very sad.

If I inadvertently do something to another person like bump them with my cart or step in their way, etc. I always apologize.

I try to hold doors open for people if I see they might struggle with the door themselves, and most of the time the people say thank-you but there have been times that people will just breeze on through and I always say "you're welcome!" in a raised voice. Some are just oblivious that the door was being held for them, and a light bulb suddenly goes off and then they say "oh, thank you."

If I hold the door, and several people go through with a resounding thank you, thanks, and sometimes a comment about my gesture; I'll say: Maybe, I should consider asking for tips. Always garners smiles. The occasional chuckle but, never a tip. Unless the tip of a cap counts.

 

[NFLDERS]

The second two episodes the OP mentioned would have annoyed me, but the first one is absolutely inexcusable to not apologize for it. Gross!! I know if it happened to me I would not have been able to keep myself from telling her what I thought. She should have been very apologetic to the OP. Wow.

I think some people are just plain losing their sense of manners these days, also not bothering to teach their children basic manners as well. Very sad.

If I inadvertently do something to another person like bump them with my cart or step in their way, etc. I always apologize.

I try to hold doors open for people if I see they might struggle with the door themselves, and most of the time the people say thank-you but there have been times that people will just breeze on through and I always say "you're welcome!" in a raised voice. Some are just oblivious that the door was being held for them, and a light bulb suddenly goes off and then they say "oh, thank you."

It's a millennial thing

At least it isn't something else, we (general we) Boomers are getting blamed for here (general here).

 

[Poohforyou]

I live in the northeast which gets a bad rap for being rude. However, I can't imagine those situations happening here and there not being an apology. The Disneyland one is particularly disgusting. Did you say something to the mom? I certainly would have, not in a rude jerky way, but she'd understand I wasn't pleased.

 

[NFLDERS]

Yes, intonation and emphasis can give Sorry a multitude of meanings. I am a klutz (Their Queen, according to my DH) so I say sorry quite often. I linked the BC law as that's where I'm from, but there are others for different Provinces.

I'm a retired insurance underwriter. In the industry this was stressed to the interns in the underwriting of claims too.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I live in the northeast which gets a bad rap for being rude. However, I can't imagine those situations happening here and there not being an apology. The Disneyland one is particularly disgusting. Did you say something to the mom? I certainly would have, not in a rude jerky way, but she'd understand I wasn't pleased.

I was thinking the same thing. I also live in the Northeast and people apologize for stuff all the time.

 

[NFLDERS]

Also, an entitled old person thing.

Actually, scratch that, I suspect it's pretty much an everyone thing!

Whew! Dodged that one, the old person part, but "Almost" didn't.

 

[NFLDERS]

I've been living the US for a while and now live in Europe. You skipped the "Oh, umm, sorry?" when told off for apologising so much

Amen, and Women.

 

[usnuzuloose]

It's not just apologies that are lacking, but social graces in general! When you buy something and give someone money, shouldn't they say thank you? Or are they doing me a favor by giving me what I paid for? When I worked at McDonald's (many years ago), it was drilled into our heads that when someone gives you money, you say thank you. They are doing you a favor by buying something, which in turn pays your salary. You are being paid to do your job, not doing the customer a favor. Thank them when they give you the money, give them their order, and thank them again! Now when I walk up the register, I am rarely greeted with a smile, and "Hi may I take your order, etc." It's usually a blank stare or in one case, "Go ahead." When I hand them money, there's no response. When they hand me my order, there's not much more than a "here go you." When I say, "Thank you," as kind of a hint, I usually get, "No problem" or "No worries." Why would it be a problem and why should I worry about buying something from you?

Boy I understand, I go into stores and never get a hello, how are nothing. And then never hear thank you, have nice either. I always ask how there day is, I understand you can have a bad day. I think so many people have not been taught any of things. What I hear is workers talking down about their fellow workers and how bad they are. Geesh

 

[usnuzuloose]

Imho...
I would like to see the presiding Mass. Judge ..
Apologize to the family of deceased Conrad Roy. A very sad day

The judge Just allowed the CONVICTED Manslaughter defendant to walk....
He handed down 15 mos, then discounted that ... then Stayed it all..
Until an Appeal is heard.
She walks...

RIP Conrad Roy. Pray for the Roy family

I watched it, could not believe that there was not apology to the family for the stay either. To me it was like why bother handing down a sentece period. UGH