Don't worry...Dr. Phil is here.

[Sparx]

I think Ms. Amos was banned. She tells me she just doesn't remember her password.

Milla Jovovich doesn't either... hmm. glad they aren't having that game anymore! lol

 

[CASTAWAYCAYCUTIE]

OMg i was laughing thru this whole thread!!!!!!

ok... hmmm ok i will make this up...

Dear Dr. Phil,
There is this guy i kinda like, but i am not sure if he likes me. what shoukld i do?

sincerely,
girl who thinks dr phil is a fake

 

[TiggerLove101]

Dear Dr. Phil,

honestly i dont think you could even fathom the problem i'm having.

Sincerly,
Girl with problems.

 

[The Dark Dancer]

Dear Dr. Phil,


My Science teacher is 4'8" and I'm 5'5"......How can I convince her to wear platform shoes so I can hear what she's saying...?

Sincerely,

Girl Who Needs To Go To Bed So She Can Get Up Tomorrow.

 

[Princess Ash]

Dear Dr. Phil,

I am paranoid and OCD...this is my second letter. You haven't answered my last one.
WHERE ARE YOU???

Sincerely,
Paranoid-Insomniac

PS- I AM KIDDING PEOPLE!!!

 

[U Just Got PUNKD]

Dear Dr. Phil,
You suck at being Dr. Phil is there anyone esle you know that can help me
Your Friend,
Morgan

 

[AllyGirlie]

Dear "Dr. Phil,"

I have this strange rash. It started out on my lower arm then spread to the rest of my body. It's purple and blue with this weird swirly pattern. No one seems to know what it is and now people are starting to avoid me. I've tried everything to get rid of it but nothing seems to work. How can I get people to come near me again and rid myself of this horrible rash?

Sincerely,
Avoided rash girl

 

[Zbaby]

Is it true that you and Oprah gave birth to an alien baby that howls at the moon?

 

[MuNkY]

My Science teacher is 4'8" and I'm 5'5"......How can I convince her to wear platform shoes so I can hear what she's saying...?

She is YOUR teacher. You should be kneeling down for her.

I am paranoid and OCD...this is my second letter. You haven't answered my last one.
WHERE ARE YOU???

You never really asked a question.

You suck at being Dr. Phil is there anyone esle you know that can help me
Your Friend,

Oprah.

I have this strange rash. It started out on my lower arm then spread to the rest of my body. It's purple and blue with this weird swirly pattern. No one seems to know what it is and now people are starting to avoid me. I've tried everything to get rid of it but nothing seems to work. How can I get people to come near me again and rid myself of this horrible rash?

You don't have a rash. You are simply an alien spawn. All Alien children of this race looks like humans, until they go through their Alien puberty. A good thing about this is though, is that the normal life expectancy for this alien race, is 10 times longer than humans, so yeah. Be happy.

Is it true that you and Oprah gave birth to an alien baby that howls at the moon?

(see previous question)

Yes, but she doesn't howl at the moon. I don't think.

 

[U Just Got PUNKD]

Oprah.

wow. I guess your not useless anyway lol j/k

 

[Miss_Will_Turner]

I am me, what should I do? ( laughs at demented question)

 

[Princess Ash]

Dear Dr. Phil

I have a very very very bad head cold. I had to stay home from school today, but I never miss a day of school. How can I get rid of this guilty feeling? Also, should I be doing work today? Or just laying around doing nothing?

Sincerely,
Germ-Ball

 

[AllyGirlie]

You don't have a rash. You are simply an alien spawn. All Alien children of this race looks like humans, until they go through their Alien puberty. A good thing about this is though, is that the normal life expectancy for this alien race, is 10 times longer than humans, so yeah. Be happy.

Oh so that explains the strange visitors I get every night..

 

[CASTAWAYCAYCUTIE]

Dear Dr. Phil,
i am anorexic. i weigh 50 lbs and am 13. what should i do? keep losing weight? please help me dr. phil!
sincerely,
anorexic girl who thinks dr phil is a fake but is so desprate to get answers she would ask anybody

 

[dragonfly75]

Dear Dr. Phil,
I don't have a boyfriend. I haven't had one since may. Its very sad, If you don't help me I may just go jump off the roof of the senior citizens home and traumatize all those old people
Sincerely,
so-desperate-she-has-to-ask-an-imatation-dr.phil

(j/k of course )

 

[MuNkY]

I am me, what should I do? ( laughs at demented question)

Be happy.

Dear Dr. Phil,
i am anorexic. i weigh 50 lbs and am 13. what should i do? keep losing weight? please help me dr. phil!
sincerely,
anorexic girl who thinks dr phil is a fake but is so desprate to get answers she would ask anybody

Go to the nearest steakhouse and order one of those 48 oz. steaks they all have. Eat it all. Do this every night until you get back to normal weight.

A better idea would be to consult a doctor.

Dear Dr. Phil,
I don't have a boyfriend. I haven't had one since may. Its very sad, If you don't help me I may just go jump off the roof of the senior citizens home and traumatize all those old people
Sincerely,
so-desperate-she-has-to-ask-an-imatation-dr.phil

I havn't had a girlfriend in a loooooooooooooooooong time, so don't feel too bad. Someone will come around.

 

[AllyGirlie]

Dear "Dr. Phil,"

I recently found out that I am an "alien spawn" and I am totally confused. I went to my parents today and they said that they found me in the middle of a crop circle 18 years ago and that they are not my real parents. My world is coming to an end. To top it all off my true parents came to visit me in my room this afternoon and said that they will be back later to take me "home." I am very scared and I don't know what to expect. Should I stay at home in the world I thought I knew, or move on into a completely different world?

Sincerely,
Totally Confused Alien Girl

P.S. The rash has totally taken over and I really need to know if there is any way I can get rid of it..

 

[MuNkY]

Dear "Dr. Phil,"

I recently found out that I am an "alien spawn" and I am totally confused. I went to my parents today and they said that they found me in the middle of a crop circle 18 years ago and that they are not my real parents. My world is coming to an end. To top it all off my true parents came to visit me in my room this afternoon and said that they will be back later to take me "home." I am very scared and I don't know what to expect. Should I stay at home in the world I thought I knew, or move on into a completely different world?

Sincerely,
Totally Confused Alien Girl

P.S. The rash has totally taken over and I really need to know if there is any way I can get rid of it..

Go with the Alien parents. Their world is a lot better than ours. How do I know this? Well I was abducted by them. (How do you think my head got so shiney?) Everything there is free. There is no world hunger, and they have eliminated desease. There is no war either. Not as we know it at least. All conflicts are resolved through a game of rock paper scissors, a coin flip, and "enie mieni miny mo". And don't worry about the rash. When you reach the age of 20, you gain the ablility to change colors like a chamelion. You could change back to the way you looked before again. (although I would advise against that).

 

[AllyGirlie]

Dear "Dr. Phil,"

Your kind words about the alien race has really made me think about which life to choose. I have chosen to go with my "true" parents. They said they will be picking me up at 8:30 (eastern) and to have all my things ready (they even said I could bring my cat!). I am still a little uneasy about the new life I am taking on, but I will be sure to keep you up to date on my long, strange journey. Wish me luck.

Sincerely,
Homebound Alien

 

[Princess Ash]

Dear Dr. Phil...

You ignore all of my questions, and answer everyone else's...why?

Sincerely,
Very-Ignored-By-Dr.-Phil-and-is-threatening-to-switch-to-dear-abbey