Edge experience 2/22 Fantasy

[Lisa F]

So I also wanted to post about our experience with the Edge on our cruise.

I had read some of the recent reports and tempered my 11 year old son's expectations about it, but it was still not great and is definitely Disney's weakest area. I just want to stress that it did not in any way ruin our cruise except for a few brief moments of feeling bad and honestly I did not mind that it encouraged my ever increasingly independent 11 year old to want to spend time with mom but I would say it was a pretty poor experience overall (and I did express that on the survey.)

My son is on the spectrum but super high functioning and seems to do pretty well in most social situations, but is also exceedingly kind and caring toward others and has zero understanding or tolerance for mean kids. He has run into relatively few here at home but we do run into more outside of home.

I was still hoping he'd make a friend or two. We had late seating and the first icebreaker session was during late dinner. I think this is exceptionally poor planning on the part of Disney - why would they do that especially when older kids are more likely to have later seating? I overheard another mother commenting the same thing and sounding a bit distressed about it - presumably she had read the same things I did about how critical those icebreaker sessions are to a kid's overall experience.

There was another one at 10am the next morning and I made sure the kiddo was there but he came back a half hour later saying "It didn't happen." I am not sure what that means, he is a man of few words lately but regardless of what actually happened he didn't seem to get anything out of it.

He still went to the edge a few times and mostly played video games (as I've seen reported here) which was fine for a little bit when I was off doing my adult stuff, as long as he was happy I was happy (he does not get a ton of down time at home and I kind of took the attitude of "it's vacation, whatever you feel like doing is fine!" rather than trying to squeeze every bit of value out of the cruise) but that came to an abrupt end when some kids were mocking him for using Pichu on Super Smash Bros. Again I was not there, I have no idea what really happened but that pretty much brought an end to free time at the edge and he instead preferred to stay in the room and play how he wanted to by himself on his own switch while watching disney shows on the tv. This is not as bad as it sounds as he is an only child and down/alone time is valuable to him but of course it made ME feel bad, he seemed to shake it off pretty quickly.

I did also encourage him to do some of the scheduled activities because he liked the couple he did at the kid's clubs 2 years ago (but hated open play - the screaming littles was just way too much chaos and sensory overload for him and he flat out refused to go at all even for scheduled activities because of that this time.) He was looking forward to Brains and Brawn and being a bit of a self proclaimed "nerd" wanted to be a Brain but was assigned to be a Brawn. He claimed he asked to be a Brain but again I was not there, I do not know how much he advocated for himself, but regardless he has poor muscle tone and coordination and did not have fun being a Brawn. I got texts from an upset child during the end of one of my brunches that he had been "abandoned" by his team because he wasn't any good at it and that was the end of Edge for us. I tried to get him to do other activities he had been excited for before the cruise but he was too afraid of it going south after that.

Again this did not ruin our cruise at all, he snapped out of it pretty quickly and he hung in the room for any other scheduled adult activities I had (and seemed happy to do so.) I did not get any more time in the spa outside of a scheduled massage as he wanted mom time (and again I can't say that selfishly I did not mind that he wanted to spend time with me.)

But I would say I am super unimpressed with the Edge. I try to let him be as independent as possible and advocate for himself so I did not get up there and make a special case out of anything... at this age he would rather just not participate than have a mom who does that, so we just let it go and did other things and had a great vacation (just like last cruise 2 years ago when he didn't care for kids clubs it was no biggie.) I also don't have first hand knowledge of how aware the staff was of what went on (the mocking during the video game - I think he was abandoned outside of the Edge space during Brains and Brawn) or how strongly he advocated for himself about what he wanted so I hesitate to lay it at the feet of the staff. I know it is a tough age. But last year he went to sleepaway camp for 2 weeks and the staff there was able to navigate that age and make it a positive experience for the kids so I don't think it is impossible - but at the Edge I would not expect that level of supervision/intervention.

I am very glad I read some not so great reviews recently because my expectations were in check and I believe this allowed us to move past any negatives very quickly and not let it impact our vacation in any way. My kid just shrugged and said "this is a tough age" (I know he was parroting me when I had a talk about it beforehand with him.) If I'd been expecting a better experience it might have been harder to make the shift. We had an absolutely amazing vacation and the great thing about the Disney cruise is even IF the kid activities are a bust there are so many other fun opportunities, it really is just a blip!

 

[lklgoodman]

Sorry your son had those experiences at Edge. My dd also went to Edge for the first time last month, also on the Fantasy. She is very independent and outgoing. She also didn't care for Edge. She would go at different times each day for activities she wanted to do, only to be told they weren't doing them(this happened a lot, not just once or twice). We had early dinner, a few times she rushed through dinner for an activity that didn't happen. Just like you we still had a lot of fun. My dd didn't seemed too bothered about it, but I was sad for her. Our cruise next year is on the Magic and I'm hoping she will have a better experience. How did you like the SW day?

 

[Lisa F]

Sorry your son had those experiences at Edge. My dd also went to Edge for the first time last month, also on the Fantasy. She is very independent and outgoing. She also didn't care for Edge. She would go at different times each day for activities she wanted to do, only to be told they weren't doing them(this happened a lot, not just once or twice). We had early dinner, a few times she rushed through dinner for an activity that didn't happen. Just like you we still had a lot of fun. My dd didn't seemed too bothered about it, but I was sad for her. Our cruise next year is on the Magic and I'm hoping she will have a better experience. How did you like the SW day?

We had a lot of fun on SWDAS! I am cc gold so was able to prebook all of the activities we wanted and it was a nice low-key day for the most part. Kiddo is an early riser and was pooped after dinner most nights, so we missed the takeover but he did jedi training and liked it but not as much as when he was younger at HS, but I think he was glad he did it once last time (honestly he is just growing up too fast for me. )

The character interactions were very good and low wait - Chewie was fun, he tried to eat the Porg off of his shoulder. Darth Vader at 5:15 pm was EMPTY, no wait. My kid was very serious about the whole thing. The droids were fun too.

We really enjoyed Star Wars at lightspeed but that is right up his alley, lots of campy humor - I would highly recommend, the cast (also of the major shows) were super talented.

They had the millennium falcon popcorn buckets too so he was THRILLED to get one as we didn't see any at disney the day before.

The one thing that was different than previous schedules I saw online is that bb-8 races happened basically during mealtimes and once in the morning (which happened to be during our scheduled jedi training), but we caught the tail end of it in the morning and controlling that thing through a maze would have been frustrating for him and he didn't really want to do it (we have done similar activities at school on STEAM night.)

We enjoyed the deck party, it is the only later than dinner activity he made it up for the whole trip (he is an early riser) and I like that they have everyone sitting because it makes the whole crowd thing a whole lot more tolerable and also easier for everyone to see.

We had some great random character run-ins too, the storm troopers were always a hoot and they are around so much you have to try to not run into them.

Overall it was a nice day although honestly I kind of wished they hadn't eliminated the behind the scenes talks they used to have - that would have been a great addition for him and a do not miss since he loves that stuff.

 

[fishingfool999]

Don't forget about the Jawas wondering around the decks. Remember to take some 'trinkets' to trade with them. Sometimes they will trade you really cool things. The most fun is just meeting them and the interactions with them. The interactions with all the random Star Wars characters are a lot of fun!!!!!

 

[Chiasgirl]

I’m sorry your DS didn’t love it. My kid really enjoyed it. It is hard to meet the needs/expectations of all the kids at the same time.

Is your DS in middle school or upper elementary? I feel like Edge is much more for the middle schoolers than the elementary kids. (Likewise, Vibe is a better fit for high schoolers than middle schoolers.)

 

[Rob1872]

We had late seating and the first icebreaker session was during late dinner. I think this is exceptionally poor planning on the part of Disney - why would they do that especially when older kids are more likely to have later seating?

I'll start off by saying my youngest is on the autism spectrum so I understand fully what you are saying.

However, I'm not sure I agree with saying that it is poor planning on the part of Disney to have the first icebreaker during late dinner as "older kids are more likely to have later seating". More people have early dining, so statistically more younger and older kids (and people in every age category) probably have early dinner.

I would say that the better comment would be that they shouldn't have the icebreaker sessions during EITHER dinner period. However, I'm also sure that it is probably impossible to find a time that works for everyone. On the first night, you are going to dinner right after the sail away party; if they waited until after all of the dining was complete then you are starting the ice breaker way too late. By offering a 2nd icebreaker the next morning, DCL is trying to accommodate everyone. I don't know if, "it didn't happen" means that DCL cancelled it, or just that there weren't enough people who showed up who wanted to do the icebreaker. If it was the latter, than that isn't Disney's fault.

Not to minimize your issues, but did you talk to the counselors on the first day about your son's condition? When we registered our kids, I made sure to discuss with the counselors on duty about my youngest's condition, how he was unlikely to join in most of the organized activities and would not feel unhappy about it unless he was forced to do something he didn't want to do, etc. (We also had the advantage of having his older brother in there to provide an additional layer of watchfulness on his sibling and to ensure that he was the only one picking on his younger brother!)

 

[Darryl111]

My son has no time for the edge. He tried it once and like the previous posters noted 1/2 the time the activities were cancelled. He tends to be an introvert and it seems that the club is geared to kids that already knew each other or extremely extroverted kids. No matter though he found his own things to do on the cruise. There are a ton only them!

 

[Lisa F]

I’m sorry your DS didn’t love it. My kid really enjoyed it. It is hard to meet the needs/expectations of all the kids at the same time.

Is your DS in middle school or upper elementary? I feel like Edge is much more for the middle schoolers than the elementary kids. (Likewise, Vibe is a better fit for high schoolers than middle schoolers.)

He's in the 6th grade but tends to relate better to kids who are slightly older. Middle school is 5-8 here.

I have read a lot of reports of not such a great time in edge recently and was glad to have read them so that my expectations were properly set for what kind of experience it could be ... that activities often didn't happen because kids were not interested in doing them and it was highly dependent on the group who was there. I tried to encourage him to give more of the organized activities a try but after being dumped by his group in brains and brawn (again I am not 100% sure what that entailed but I am pretty sure they were outside of the edge and not under direct supervision in there) he was not really willing to put himself out there again.

 

[MarkLT1]

Thanks Lisa, for reviewing your kiddo's experience at Edge. My oldest will be turning 11 on our cruise, and a couple years ago, felt that the Oceaneers Club/Lab was "too young." (He tends to think he is a little more mature, than perhaps he really is ). I was excited that he'd get to give Edge a shot on this cruise, but with your report, as well as others I've seen on here, I too am starting to temper my expectations. He is pretty outgoing, but quite sensitive, and connects better with one or two close buddies than a big group. It sounds like a lot depends on the other kids on the cruise, and how the activities are handled. Hopefully he finds a couple buddies to have fun with, and enjoys it, but if not, he is still an age that he can do some of the Oceaneers stuff, and we always have a blast as a family, so we'll still have plenty of fun. Glad you enjoyed your cruise overall!

 

[Lisa F]

I'll start off by saying my youngest is on the autism spectrum so I understand fully what you are saying.

However, I'm not sure I agree with saying that it is poor planning on the part of Disney to have the first icebreaker during late dinner as "older kids are more likely to have later seating". More people have early dining, so statistically more younger and older kids (and people in every age category) probably have early dinner.

I would say that the better comment would be that they shouldn't have the icebreaker sessions during EITHER dinner period. However, I'm also sure that it is probably impossible to find a time that works for everyone. On the first night, you are going to dinner right after the sail away party; if they waited until after all of the dining was complete then you are starting the ice breaker way too late. By offering a 2nd icebreaker the next morning, DCL is trying to accommodate everyone. I don't know if, "it didn't happen" means that DCL cancelled it, or just that there weren't enough people who showed up who wanted to do the icebreaker. If it was the latter, than that isn't Disney's fault.

Not to minimize your issues, but did you talk to the counselors on the first day about your son's condition? When we registered our kids, I made sure to discuss with the counselors on duty about my youngest's condition, how he was unlikely to join in most of the organized activities and would not feel unhappy about it unless he was forced to do something he didn't want to do, etc. (We also had the advantage of having his older brother in there to provide an additional layer of watchfulness on his sibling and to ensure that he was the only one picking on his younger brother!)

We'll just have to agree to disagree about the poor planning. If they had icebreakers the first day during BOTH planned dinner seatings (so that people from either seating could attend) I think it would have been more fair. Then you'd just be faced with the normal "do i do this activity or that activity" choice. But planning it so that kids who go to one seating or another are excluded on the first day seems like poor planning to me and I do think especially at that age group you are more likely to have kids in 2nd seating than for the little kids. Not that most kids would be 2nd seating but by that age a lot more parents are choosing 2nd seating than with little ones so that should really be kept in mind by those who make the schedule.

I did not intervene with the counselors because my son is very independent and very aware of what is going on around him and doesn't want mom micromanaging his life, and I try to respect that. I believe that is part of the reason that he IS so independent, because I follow his lead and let him be. I'm involved where I need to be in school but I also have spent a lot of time teaching him now to and encouraging him to advocate for himself and his own needs. I am pretty sure that the issues he had were outside of the direct view of the counselors. As far as being teased about video games, by this age I honestly feel like adult intervention more often just makes things worse so I have mostly been working with him about how not to take mild teasing so hard, but on vacation and out of your element it is more difficult. As I said before, being dumped by his team during an activity happened outside of the Edge and I don't think there was any way to have really prevented that.

This is just my experience and I wanted to share it so that others could have realistic expectations. I was very disappointed in the scheduling of the icebreaker activities that basically excluded him at what may have been a crucial time for making friends. Or not, maybe he wouldn't have made friends then either, but I basically felt like he didn't even have a chance with how things panned out and I don't think this is great planning on Disney's part. Of course if it works for your schedule you think it's just fine.

 

[Lisa F]

Thanks Lisa, for reviewing your kiddo's experience at Edge. My oldest will be turning 11 on our cruise, and a couple years ago, felt that the Oceaneers Club/Lab was "too young." (He tends to think he is a little more mature, than perhaps he really is ). I was excited that he'd get to give Edge a shot on this cruise, but with your report, as well as others I've seen on here, I too am starting to temper my expectations. He is pretty outgoing, but quite sensitive, and connects better with one or two close buddies than a big group. It sounds like a lot depends on the other kids on the cruise, and how the activities are handled. Hopefully he finds a couple buddies to have fun with, and enjoys it, but if not, he is still an age that he can do some of the Oceaneers stuff, and we always have a blast as a family, so we'll still have plenty of fun. Glad you enjoyed your cruise overall!

haha, yours sounds a lot like mine (thinks he is more mature than he really is.) Definitely give it a shot because you never know who he might hook up with. Especially on the SWDAS a lot of sweet friendly kids started random conversations with him about his tshirt (I had a stitch and baby yoda tshirt made for him online) and I kind of felt like the potential was there on that cruise with that crowd for him to have made a friend or two. I don't know for sure how crucial missing the first day icebreaker activity was because I don't know how it went down or if anything would have been remotely different if he had attended but I have read how crucial the icebreaker activity is for kids to make friends and was not expecting the scheduling to fall the way it did (and as I mentioned I overheard another mom express the same sentiment.)

I think realistic expectations are crucial to any experience honestly and although initially disappointed when I read some reports that ended up mirroring my own experience (especially reports of very recent cruises on the Fantasy) I was at least grateful to keep my expectations in check... But as I said, we had a great time on our cruise anyway. The kiddo bounces back pretty quick from that kind of stuff and was I was super happy to spend the time with him, and by the time he was done with going there for good I had most of my scheduled solo activities done and out of the way anyway. I do hope yours has a better experience but you'll have a great cruise regardless! I was a little disappointed that my kiddo couldn't stand the club/lab either on the dream 2 years ago, but just because I wanted those experiences for him. But he was so sad when that cruise was over that he was inconsolable the last night so I guess he had a great time anyway. It's tough as a parent because you want to make everything great for your kid but by this age especially you kind of have to let the chips fall where they may and let them have their independence and figure it out on their own. It's a tough age as I am learning the hard way.

 

[Lisa F]

My son has no time for the edge. He tried it once and like the previous posters noted 1/2 the time the activities were cancelled. He tends to be an introvert and it seems that the club is geared to kids that already knew each other or extremely extroverted kids. No matter though he found his own things to do on the cruise. There are a ton only them!

true that! He's an only child so he is sort of used to entertaining himself. He really did enjoy his relative freedom on the ship but he has a fair amount of freedom at home too - I tend to keep him a lot closer in vacation locations in "the real world" though and he loved his freedom on the ship. My perception may be off but the Vibe seems to do a better job of fostering on-ship relationships - this is what the girl next to us who was in the vibe also told us basically and what I have gleaned from numerous posts here. So we'll give that a shot when he is old enough. In the meantime there is a great big world out there and we are going to try some different things now that he is old enough to make travel a little easier with him - Disney has been my "comfort zone" since I started traveling solo with him at 6 because I know it so well but we are ready to branch out. Didn't stop me from booking a placeholder though, "just in case" lol.

 

[Lisa F]

Don't forget about the Jawas wondering around the decks. Remember to take some 'trinkets' to trade with them. Sometimes they will trade you really cool things. The most fun is just meeting them and the interactions with them. The interactions with all the random Star Wars characters are a lot of fun!!!!!

we did miss out on the jawas (passed by and saw them but i hadn't brought anything to trade) but we DID randomly run into Dr. Strange one night. he was just standing on the 4th floor looking over into the atrium, and I was wondering if he was some guy in a great costume or the REAL Dr. Strange and we kind of circled him for a while... as it turned out he WAS the real Dr. Strange and there for the Dr. Strange stuff in the kid clubs and just out and about one night. I did try to convince the kiddo to register for the club/lab at that point so he could do some of that stuff and promised he could come and go as he pleased so he wouldn't be "stuck" there (he did not like being stuck there 2 years ago but my dad is extremely overprotective and I didn't feel like fighting that battle) because I think waiting to be picked up was pure sensory overload for him. But anyway it was a random meeting, no one seemed to know he was even there and he had a nice, long, private interaction with him and I got some great pictures. It made me want to do a Marvel day at sea cruise honestly because of how amazing that interaction was - it was so much more personal with a face character and the marvel characters are some of the few who are male and not part of the whole prince/princess thing (which he is not that into.) It was a truly magical moment (one of many) and utterly unexpected.

 

[soniam]

Our son did Edge on our last cruise in 2017. He was 11.5. He likes the video games but was looking forward to some of the other activities. They did seem to cancel a lot of them. In fact, he spent more time in the cabin on that cruise than he did in 2014. We couldn't drag him out of the kids club then. Although, he had the freedom to come and go last time. So, he probably bailed a lot quicker than when he couldn't leave without us. Our son's not necessarily shy, but he can be quiet. He's definitely not loud, boisterous, or rambunctious. He tends more towards screens than physical activities. He didn't seem upset by it, but I could tell that he was slightly bummed about the canceled activities. He will be going to Vibe this summer. I guess we will see how that goes, since he will be between 8th and 9th grade.

 

[FigmentSpark]

When my DS was 12, he was bullied in the Edge. He had the Oceaneer's band on, in case he wanted to do things there, (but everything was too young for him) and the kids called him a baby for it. Once the reingleader had his sites on my son, he kept on him, even though we talked to the counsellors. He didn't do anything in the Edge when the counsellors were watching, but he did when they weren't and on the stairs up to the Edge, where this kid and his posse congregated. They were 14, so I don't know why they weren't in the Vibe.

Anyway, I think the problem is the kids' club (Oceaneer's) is too huge an age range, so older kids want in to the next step up. But age 11 -14 is a huge developmental difference.

All that said, my DS did make a couple of great friends that year and the next year, he had no problems at the Edge at all. He even loved it. But he knew the ropes by then.

 

[Debonna]

I appreciate all the comments here. We are sailing on the 4 night to Bahamas (Dream) in May. My son is 13 and on the spectrum with mild ASD. He wanted so badly to go to the Oceaneer Club/Lab, but we just couldn't swing a cruise before he "aged out." I know he can go to Open House, but I would really feel better if we have him somewhere supervised without self checkout. But DCL won't budge on that. They will let kids on the age cusp move up, but not back. His still loves all the characters, animated movies, etc. But at the same time, he loves to play video games and is looking forward to doing that in the Edge. He is not one to make friends or get involved in activities. I am a bit fearful that he will get picked on while playing video games, or want a turn at a game and not be given one. (The latter happens often at school.) He's not great at speaking up for himself, and he's small for his age. (He's the same height/size as his almost 10 year old sister.) I suspect he will spend a good deal of his downtime in the stateroom when we're not doing family activities. I don't worry about him leaving the room b/c that's where he's most comfortable, and with his Nintendo Switch, tablet, and TV, he won't get bored. I am thinking about researching what it's like in the Vibe area. DCL did tell me since he's 13, he can go there. He may enjoy the loungy, outdoor pool area since it seems more low key. He would love their "pods" for playing solo video games too.

 

[gotomu212]

I’m sorry your DS didn’t love it. My kid really enjoyed it. It is hard to meet the needs/expectations of all the kids at the same time.

Is your DS in middle school or upper elementary? I feel like Edge is much more for the middle schoolers than the elementary kids. (Likewise, Vibe is a better fit for high schoolers than middle schoolers.)

I think this is a good point. The Edge has been a real game changer for my son and he has loved it, which was a relief because for years he didn’t like the Oceaneers Club/Lab and I struggled with all the great reviews from other families.

I also think due to the smaller number of kids in the Edge, a few jerks really can make a difference. I think it’s a good idea, like OP said, to sort of set realist expectations and hope It might blow you away. (That said we’re finding that at this age our son swings from everything is fantastic to everything stinks so things he loved one day are not out and vise versa- ugh tweens)

 

[Tehanna]

May I just make a plea here for everyone who clicked on this thread because their children fall into the age group to visit Edge to have a conversation with their kids about kindness?

Sometimes when kids are in a new group of friends it's tempting to join in bullying behaviors because they're really wanting to fit in, especially in an unfamiliar place.

Wouldn't it be great if everyone talked to their kids before their cruise and discussed acceptance of those that may seem different? And maybe even engaged in a healthy discussion on how to stand up for others, or at least ask for help from a CM if they see bullying behaviors?

Almost every bully has parents who think that their kid isn't capable of bullying. Any teacher will tell you about the shock and denial they experience from parents when they hear that their child has engaged in such behaviors.

Let's all do our best to make sure our children are kind to others. A Disney Cruise shouldn't be a vacation from kindness or decency.

 

[plethera1]

Great thread. Will be on the Fantasy on the 14th of this month (hopefully) with my 11 year old who is really looking for to it. But I will definitely temper his expectations and also reiterate the importance of being nice to the other kids no matter what. Thanks everyone.

 

[Lisa F]

Our son did Edge on our last cruise in 2017. He was 11.5. He likes the video games but was looking forward to some of the other activities. They did seem to cancel a lot of them. In fact, he spent more time in the cabin on that cruise than he did in 2014. We couldn't drag him out of the kids club then. Although, he had the freedom to come and go last time. So, he probably bailed a lot quicker than when he couldn't leave without us. Our son's not necessarily shy, but he can be quiet. He's definitely not loud, boisterous, or rambunctious. He tends more towards screens than physical activities. He didn't seem upset by it, but I could tell that he was slightly bummed about the canceled activities. He will be going to Vibe this summer. I guess we will see how that goes, since he will be between 8th and 9th grade.

Mine was looking forward to some of the activities too but most of what he was looking forward to happened either during or after late dining and he was pretty much done by then (he is an early riser) - unlike previous navigators where they seemed to happen at other times throughout the day. Everyone seems to love vibe, fingers crossed he has a great time!

When my DS was 12, he was bullied in the Edge. He had the Oceaneer's band on, in case he wanted to do things there, (but everything was too young for him) and the kids called him a baby for it. Once the reingleader had his sites on my son, he kept on him, even though we talked to the counsellors. He didn't do anything in the Edge when the counsellors were watching, but he did when they weren't and on the stairs up to the Edge, where this kid and his posse congregated. They were 14, so I don't know why they weren't in the Vibe.

Anyway, I think the problem is the kids' club (Oceaneer's) is too huge an age range, so older kids want in to the next step up. But age 11 -14 is a huge developmental difference.

All that said, my DS did make a couple of great friends that year and the next year, he had no problems at the Edge at all. He even loved it. But he knew the ropes by then.

I'm so sorry your son was bullied. I think mine just had a few passing mean things (though I will tell you my absolute least favorite part of the cruise was getting a text a half hour into the brains and brawn activity saying "my team abandoned me because I was no good at being a brawn")

Definitely agree about the large age range - even at 9 my son was completely in sensory overload by all of the yelling, screaming and chaos of all of the littles. He told me at that point that I'd better not expect grandchildren, lol. I do think that the old age ranges of 3-9 and 9-12 were much better but then I am the parent of an only child. I understand that parents of siblings might not like the separation when they are close to that border. I guess no matter what someone has to lose out and there were probably way more sibling complaints and issues than older kids who did not enjoy being around little kids.

I'm so glad that your son was willing to give it another try. Mine is too but wants to be 14 so he has the vibe as a backup - I am kind of worried he is building up the vibe in his head too much. I really wish I could have gotten him to try some of the scheduled activities at the oceaneer club/lab though but he was happier in the room and my motto this vacation was "no planning, no rules, let's do what feels right in the moment" so I didn't push too hard.

I appreciate all the comments here. We are sailing on the 4 night to Bahamas (Dream) in May. My son is 13 and on the spectrum with mild ASD. He wanted so badly to go to the Oceaneer Club/Lab, but we just couldn't swing a cruise before he "aged out." I know he can go to Open House, but I would really feel better if we have him somewhere supervised without self checkout. But DCL won't budge on that. They will let kids on the age cusp move up, but not back. His still loves all the characters, animated movies, etc. But at the same time, he loves to play video games and is looking forward to doing that in the Edge. He is not one to make friends or get involved in activities. I am a bit fearful that he will get picked on while playing video games, or want a turn at a game and not be given one. (The latter happens often at school.) He's not great at speaking up for himself, and he's small for his age. (He's the same height/size as his almost 10 year old sister.) I suspect he will spend a good deal of his downtime in the stateroom when we're not doing family activities. I don't worry about him leaving the room b/c that's where he's most comfortable, and with his Nintendo Switch, tablet, and TV, he won't get bored. I am thinking about researching what it's like in the Vibe area. DCL did tell me since he's 13, he can go there. He may enjoy the loungy, outdoor pool area since it seems more low key. He would love their "pods" for playing solo video games too.

For whatever it is worth, not getting a turn was absolutely not one of my son's issues. I think they have 5? (I just glanced over at check in) controllers set up at once and it seems like he was able to play when he wanted to - I do think that IS something counselors can pretty easily monitor and I would guess they do - that was definitely not one of his complaints. Sometimes he didn't like the game they were playing but of course part of taking turns is taking turns at what games is being played too. Although I try to not be an overprotective helicopter mom and have people fawn over him, this IS the kind of thing that I think is good to talk to the counselors about because it's the kind of thing they can address without singling him out if that makes sense... just being a little more aware it could be an issue.

I would love to hear what he thinks of the vibe at 13 - mine said he doesn't want to go back until he is 14 and can go to the vibe and we didn't really discuss it beyond then but I might be able to use my placeholder if he can go at 13.5 (I would go same time of year in 2 years, he will be 12 in very early June so he is closer to 12 than 11 - he is also huge for his age, he is pretty much my height already, I'm 5'4".)

Also I will say that my son did fabulous with the freedom. There is not really a lot of trouble a basically good kid can get to in the ship. He carried his phone (it is a broken screen older phone of mine that is not activated on the cell network) and it worked pretty well for messaging. He had to tell me where he was going when he left the room and I never lost track of him for very long. He spent a good deal of downtime after the edge bust in the room as well and I felt kind of bad about it but I didn't want to project my feelings on him, if that was his happy place then let him be in his happy place on vacation. We did a lot of great stuff including excursions, rode the aquaduck a ton, did the midship detective thing which he LOVED, saw the major shows... honestly it makes me feel better that other kids enjoy their downtime in the cabin as well because I kind of felt like I was letting him down doing some adult stuff on my own. But it's been a very rough year for me at work and dealing with social stuff at school and I am a single mom and was DESPERATE for some downtime as well but I felt a bit guilty leaving him behind... but he didn't seem to mind and we always did something fun after and by the last 3 days of the cruise he expressed he wanted to spend all the time with me even when he had downtime in the room, so I just hung on the verandah with him and my book.

I think this is a good point. The Edge has been a real game changer for my son and he has loved it, which was a relief because for years he didn’t like the Oceaneers Club/Lab and I struggled with all the great reviews from other families.

I also think due to the smaller number of kids in the Edge, a few jerks really can make a difference. I think it’s a good idea, like OP said, to sort of set realist expectations and hope It might blow you away. (That said we’re finding that at this age our son swings from everything is fantastic to everything stinks so things he loved one day are not out and vise versa- ugh tweens)

I was really hoping this would be the case with my son as he didn't like the oceaneer's club/lab either. Also it seems like they have a lot more "competitive" stuff going on than the oceaneer club/lab which is also an opportunity for bad feelings even if the kids aren't jerks. I still don't know what the abandonment thing was all about because he doesn't want to talk about it but I know my son can be a bit dramatic at times too so his perception of something might be worse than it is. Regardless he is at the age where he kind of needs to figure it out and mom hovering and fixing for him is only going to make things worse so it is what it is. I will say that I read some very recent reviews on the fantasy in particular that kids were not having a good time so I was prepared but still hoping for an experience more like your son's. but, out of my hands!

May I just make a plea here for everyone who clicked on this thread because their children fall into the age group to visit Edge to have a conversation with their kids about kindness?

Sometimes when kids are in a new group of friends it's tempting to join in bullying behaviors because they're really wanting to fit in, especially in an unfamiliar place.

Wouldn't it be great if everyone talked to their kids before their cruise and discussed acceptance of those that may seem different? And maybe even engaged in a healthy discussion on how to stand up for others, or at least ask for help from a CM if they see bullying behaviors?

Almost every bully has parents who think that their kid isn't capable of bullying. Any teacher will tell you about the shock and denial they experience from parents when they hear that their child has engaged in such behaviors.

Let's all do our best to make sure our children are kind to others. A Disney Cruise shouldn't be a vacation from kindness or decency.

Thank you so much for this reminder. I think actually most kids are pretty good but just thoughtless (not the bullies of course and there are some cases of true bullying in this thread but I am honestly not sure that what my son experienced rises to bullying, just lack of kindness and consideration for others.) A reminder could help them to be less thoughtless and be their best selves in a non-routine environment.

Great thread. Will be on the Fantasy on the 14th of this month (hopefully) with my 11 year old who is really looking for to it. But I will definitely temper his expectations and also reiterate the importance of being nice to the other kids no matter what. Thanks everyone.

Thanks, I was a little afraid it was going to go south there for a while. This is just MY experience but I realize that everyone's experience is dependent on a set of random and completely impossible to control factors. At this age your kid could end up being bullied or they could end up meeting the best friend of their whole life. No way to know! I do think as far as theming, engagement and activities go that those reviews before mine that said that the Edge was a bit of a no-man's land for the tweens are spot on and that Disney could do better for that age group - even recognizing it as a tough age group. But I hope your son has a great time! if not just know that honestly I think this bothered me way more than it bothered him, he had a great vacation - we both did, it was amazing and if I had all the money in the world I'd book it again without hesitation even if his only choice is the Edge. I am encouraged by those whose kids were brave enough to give it another try and had better experiences the second time around! Maybe that MDAS in 2022 WILL work out for us!