Ending a relationship over Disney

[jennyst]

Has anyone ever ended a relationship over love/hate of disney?

I have been dating a girl for about 1.5 years and she doesn't like disney. She can tolerate it but isn't a huge fan. When I floated the idea of annual or twice-annual trips to WDW I was laughed at. She would prefer to go to a beach or walk around some city. I'm actually concerned that this could cause long-term problems, as I don't want to take vacations that I don't like.

Any thoughts?

I didn't think this would actually be a problem for me and hasn't seemed to have happen yet, so I guess I'm lucky. My boyfriend and I love the vacations we take and both agree upon them

 

[nealfreakinporter]

If you can convince her, to try 'A' vacation at WDW, try that. I grew up as a Disney fan as a child. But by 10 all I cared about was sports and music. The conversation of honeymoon came up, as the wife and I prepared for our wedding. I mentioned going to Wizarding World of Harry Potter. My wife said heck yes, so long as we go to WDW too. I agreed, but could care less.

I had an amazing time at Wizarding World...but am now obsessed with WDW, and we took a return vacation so I could do all the parks.

I say ease her in, and see how she responds.

 

[CraftyMommy]

I took several solo trips before the kids were born. I love Disney, he doesn't. In 2012 when I was planning a trip with my son (a last trip with him being the only child) DH finally jumped in and wanted to try it out. While he wasn't completely converted I was shocked when he started talking about where he wanted to stay on our next trip. I have made it very clear that I am ok with occasional trips to other places but my #1 vacation priority will always be Disney. I will go with or without him. He has decided to jump on board rather than be left out of every trip. I think I'm slowly converting him one baby step at a time.

Maybe if you make it clear to your significant other that Disney is not an option in your relationship. She needs to be onboard with it or accept the fact that you'll be vacationing separately...that may open the conversation to seeing where both of your priorities are.

 

[Agent7]

I like Disney but my boyfriend LOVES it. I'm the type than can go years (like 3+) between Disney vacations and be happy, he isn't. But he will take vacations with me to other places and be happy about if. Just like I'll go to Disney and have fun. It's about compromise. If a vacation is more important than your partners happiness than you probably don't care that much about them, IMO. It sounds like you were suggestion multiple trips a year, would that use up all vacation time/money? Because I wouldn't be happy about that either especially if I was 'meh' on Disney. Nor would he be happy with no Disney trips at all (I could go to Europe every year and never get tired of it).

Honestly, if you haven't done so, you should sit down with your partner and have a honest heart to heart about vacation expectations. No yelling, no anger, just honest. About how much time you can take off work, ideal cost, how often you would like to repeat a location, if you're okay with traveling alone, etc. Get her ideas and see if she's willing to compromise. But don't expect her to compromise of you don't. And don't expect to magically convert her into a Dis lover. Maybe try and find out what she has problems with - is it the cost of a Disney vacation, quality of food/shopping, things to do, your touring style (ie commando is not for everyone), transportation, hotels... It might be simple things that could increase her enjoyment.

But if neither of you will compromise on anything (location, time, taking separate vacations) it's probably a pretty big red flag.

 

[Leah12]

Seems she's already made up her mind not to like it, which is certainly an issue. I have a friend who detested Disney, where her husband really liked it. They had kids. The kids are now 6 and 4 years of age. My friend now loves Disney because all of the rest of the family love the place/s. She's a definite convert. Mind you, this scenario is perhaps not a good enough reason for having kids, although in their case, it's really worked wonders.

 

[littleaussie]

I guess I will throw in my $0.02 also.

I divorced in 2007. My exH was fine with catering to my Disney obsession but he didn't have an opinion on anything, really. We divorced for other reasons. . .

I had a serious relationship sometime after that and I took the bf to Disney, along with my 2 children from my marriage. BF was of the opinion that we went to Disney, so never again He didn't like traveling. . . period. I realized our value systems were too different. I was willing to compromise but he wasn't.

My DH now, has never traveled. So, while we were dating, I was anxious to see what his reaction was to Disney. We booked a trip before we got engaged. He liked it just fine but also didn't see the need to go back again if I didn't care either. Even if he didn't like Disney, he was still willing to at least go to Florida on vacation.

I'm willing to travel to Disney alone but I am also willing to compromise. I think in a relationship, that's important. My DH races snowmobile. It's kind of a pain to travel many weekends in the winter and be outside in the cold watching him. But I do it because I love him. I take photos, videos, give up weekends at home to support him. And I don't complain or act inconvenienced. Because it's important to him. I like taking photos so it gives me something to do and be engaged in his sport.

I hope he's willing to do the same for me. He might not care about Disney as much as I do but if he's at least willing to travel to Florida/California with me, I'm happy with doing 1 day at the park (with or without him) and then doing something else with him. This past January, he came with on a trip to Florida but didn't do anything Disney and left early to race snowmobiles. I got my Disney fix after he left early. I was happy with that. I got a Disney fix, a vacation with him and neither of us felt unhappy about it.

I've also found that since he isn't a Disney freak, our trips have been cut back out of respect for him. I find that I appreciate the less frequent Disney trips I DO take even more. Sure, I'd love to go to Disney twice a year but it's not going to happen. So I'm appreciating it more on my end too.

This won't work if your partner compromises for you but then acts all angry/crabby that they HAVE to compromise. That ruins it for everyone.

 

[jezebel73]

Don't get me wrong, I definitely agree with all of the people here saying you both should compromise on this (and everything as needed) in a relationship or marriage. I also firmly believe in each having some individual interests that the other doesn't participate in but at least supports.

*BUT* if you have an interest or tradition or whatever in your life that is right at the top of the importance list for you and your partner has it all the way at the bottom of theirs, compromise is going to be extremely tough. Doing Disney one year and something else the next when one or the other of you will be miserable on every vacation is not compromise. It's torture.

I broke up with a BF a few months back becuase he didn't like food. I am obsessed with food. I like to buy it and cook it and eat it and talk about it. I can read menus for hours at a time. I think it plays a huge role in family and celebrations and general life enjoyment. This man literally went whole days without eating because he really didn't care, he wasn't hungry, didn't feel like it. He fed his children and then went in another room while they ate dinner alone. I tried so hard to get him to convert, even a little bit, but it became clear over the year+ of dating that he just didn't care or care to try. When I talked about anything food related, he would just glaze over.

Now maybe people will read this and think I'm nuts, but like I say above - if something in my top five things I love in life holds no interest to my partner, whatever that thing is, it might just be a dealbreaker.

 

[skittlesfirehawk]

I love disney I love the cruises I love world.i go annually to either.disney is my happy place.I cannot date a man who dosen't like disney.Disney is number 2 on my list of must likes my first is my family.

 

[jagfanjosh3252]

Don't get me wrong, I definitely agree with all of the people here saying you both should compromise on this (and everything as needed) in a relationship or marriage. I also firmly believe in each having some individual interests that the other doesn't participate in but at least supports. *BUT* if you have an interest or tradition or whatever in your life that is right at the top of the importance list for you and your partner has it all the way at the bottom of theirs, compromise is going to be extremely tough. Doing Disney one year and something else the next when one or the other of you will be miserable on every vacation is not compromise. It's torture. I broke up with a BF a few months back becuase he didn't like food. I am obsessed with food. I like to buy it and cook it and eat it and talk about it. I can read menus for hours at a time. I think it plays a huge role in family and celebrations and general life enjoyment. This man literally went whole days without eating because he really didn't care, he wasn't hungry, didn't feel like it. He fed his children and then went in another room while they ate dinner alone. I tried so hard to get him to convert, even a little bit, but it became clear over the year+ of dating that he just didn't care or care to try. When I talked about anything food related, he would just glaze over. Now maybe people will read this and think I'm nuts, but like I say above - if something in my top five things I love in life holds no interest to my partner, whatever that thing is, it might just be a dealbreaker.

Who the heck doest like food!?!?

 

[peachiepie]

I'm actually concerned that this could cause long-term problems, as I don't want to take vacations that I don't like.

And she doesn't want to take vacations she doesn't like.

My husband is not as keen on Disney as I am, so we compromise taking it in turns to decide destinations.

I'm sure it wouldn't be much fun for either of you if one of you always picks. Hopefully with a bit of compromise you'll get it worked out.

 

[jezebel73]

Who the heck doest like food!?!?

I really didn't think it was possible for such a person to exist. It was like dating a unicorn or the chupacabra. I would tell people about him and they would just smile and nod and back away.

 

[ThroughLookingGlass]

It's not just about vacation. I drink out of a disney mug every morning, decorate my electronics and car with disney, listen to the music from time to time, frequent the disboards, cook and bake with disney recipes/cookbooks, watch the movies, and I am always planning another trip. I want to explore disney cruises soon.

Disney is almost a part of daily life for me and my ENTIRE family so I could never see myself with a partner that didn't get it. It'd be like having a huge chunk of my personality rejected, we just wouldn't bond properly.

 

[MsMamaBear]

Recently divorced (ink has just dried )--Forever is a long time. I'm not saying compromise isn't important, but red flags like this concern me. Life is too short to be with someone you aren't 100% happy with. And I'm certain this isn't the only thing you're having some concerns over...

But thats just me...I settled the first time and I won't be doing that again!

Also...for the record--how do you think she would take it if she read this post online or found out about this. Maybe not the best place to seek advice...just saying...

THIS! Exactly what I wanted to say, but better. I've been there. Not anymore.

 

[nealfreakinporter]

Who the heck doest like food!?!?

Sometimes I wish I didn't like food (aka currently losing weight on a diet... Due to loving food haha)!!

 

[fifthrider]

I've always loved Disney, I couldn't imagine a bad day at any of the resorts. I had my first bad day about 5 years ago. The woman I was going out with seemed okay but I knew there was a childhood of messed up events that was out of my control. Apparently at some point in her childhood there were parental arguments at Disneyland and her parents both went two separate ways, leaving her alone at the park. This affected how she would see going to DL forever. On the drive up to DL from San Diego she was already wound up about the past. She was going off over any little thing she could find to be upset about. This was pretty abnormal for a normally pretty mellow and easy going person.

The ride up was pent up anger, blowing up over any small issue she could find, all the way from the Mickey and Friends garage into Main Street. When she asked what I wanted to do I told her there was no way I was making any such choices, it was her day today, I'm not choosing a thing. Although I don't regret saying that ( she'd given me 2 hours of reasons to say it ) it was the last thing her childhood issues needed to hear. How dare I point out that she was a seething volcano and tell her I was backing off from any choices. She stormed off to the hub and sat on a bench fuming for 15 minutes. When when I came over to sit next to her she got up and left the park, driving back to San Diego, leaving me at Disneyland.

That was really the only bad day I ever had at Disneyland, and even then it got better once she left. Thanks to my smart phone I found friends at Disney that day and hung out with them, even getting a ride back home later that night.


Needless to say, the relationship ended over this and I've never been happier. People make you happy, some by coming, others by going.

 

[aVASTGrl]

I broke up with a BF a few months back becuase he didn't like food. I am obsessed with food. I like to buy it and cook it and eat it and talk about it. I can read menus for hours at a time. I think it plays a huge role in family and celebrations and general life enjoyment. This man literally went whole days without eating because he really didn't care, he wasn't hungry, didn't feel like it. He fed his children and then went in another room while they ate dinner alone. I tried so hard to get him to convert, even a little bit, but it became clear over the year+ of dating that he just didn't care or care to try. When I talked about anything food related, he would just glaze over.

Now maybe people will read this and think I'm nuts, but like I say above - if something in my top five things I love in life holds no interest to my partner, whatever that thing is, it might just be a dealbreaker.

Whaaaaaaaaaaattttt???? How does he....live? Like...literally and biologically??

haha I get seriously nauseous and hangry if I don't eat a little something every few hours!


Since I'm currently searching for my "prince charming" (and beginning to seriously doubt he exists for me) I highly doubt his apathy or dislike of Disney would be a dealbreaker. I feel like there are more important compatibility issues to take into consideration, and I have no problem going by myself or with my family. I WOULD have a problem if he tried to get me to stop going.

 

[LaLalovesWDW]

It's funny, I never even thought this would ever be an issue for me, or anyone else that I knew that loved Disney, until it happened to me in the August of '99. I was engaged to be married and for the most part, he was a good guy. I was surprising my 2 godchildren with a trip to Disney and I asked him to come along. I kid you not... not 10 feet into MK, he starts yelling and cursing about the heat and how big it is and we better know what we are doing because he's not walking around all day and it was just a total nightmare that for the first 3 days we were there. Finally my bff, and godchildren ended up leaving him at the hotel while we enjoyed the rest of our trip. I was mortified and felt totally disrespected. I do a lot of WDW trips alone, or now with my daughter...there is no way I could see me sharing a life with someone who didn't at least have an appreciation for Disney. I'm all in for compromise, but to just flat out "hate" Disney and vow to NEVER step foot in the place... no thanks.

I think in your case, you are the best gauge of the relationship. If she's perfect in every single way but this, then she will be perfect enough to at least compromise. And if she loves/respects you enough, it won't be a problem for you to work out a vacation schedule where you both are comfortable and happy. However, if she is not open to that, it may be a dealbreaker.

 

[nealfreakinporter]

It's funny, I never even thought this would ever be an issue for me, or anyone else that I knew that loved Disney, until it happened to me in the August of '99. I was engaged to be married and for the most part, he was a good guy. I was surprising my 2 godchildren with a trip to Disney and I asked him to come along. I kid you not... not 10 feet into MK, he starts yelling and cursing about the heat and how big it is and we better know what we are doing because he's not walking around all day and it was just a total nightmare that for the first 3 days we were there. Finally my bff, and godchildren ended up leaving him at the hotel while we enjoyed the rest of our trip. I was mortified and felt totally disrespected. I do a lot of WDW trips alone, or now with my daughter...there is no way I could see me sharing a life with someone who didn't at least have an appreciation for Disney. I'm all in for compromise, but to just flat out "hate" Disney and vow to NEVER step foot in the place... no thanks.

I think in your case, you are the best gauge of the relationship. If she's perfect in every single way but this, then she will be perfect enough to at least compromise. And if she loves/respects you enough, it won't be a problem for you to work out a vacation schedule where you both are comfortable and happy. However, if she is not open to that, it may be a dealbreaker.

Man, these stories are all so sad! I mean, even my best friend, who has been vocal in life about despising Disney with all his heart, briefly mentioned taking his wife there soon (she is a fan, where he obviously isnt), because he thought he should get the experience, before they start having kids. If he could make that decision on his own, I'd think anyone could...but from what I read, here apparently not

 

[LaLalovesWDW]

Man, these stories are all so sad! I mean, even my best friend, who has been vocal in life about despising Disney with all his heart, briefly mentioned taking his wife there soon (she is a fan, where he obviously isnt), because he thought he should get the experience, before they start having kids. If he could make that decision on his own, I'd think anyone could...but from what I read, here apparently not

You know, I think it really has a lot to do with how deep the obsession runs lol... and for the OP, I couldn't really tell if he was madly in love with Disney and/or the gf so its hard to say. For me, Disney is really a very regular part of my quality of life. I am not super obsessed however it is enough a part of my life that anyone that shares this life with me, cannot just be "tolerant" or pretend it doesn't exist... for instance, if you smoke, we can't go together. Period. I don't judge anyone that smokes but it is just not something I could ignore, tolerate or compromise on. If you worship the devil... sorry but, check..please. IF you don't like fluffy women, then I probably won't be someone you could compromise on... its that simple. We all have our very special funky wiring and mine just happens to be very magical, thank you.

 

[nealfreakinporter]

You know, I think it really has a lot to do with how deep the obsession runs lol... and for the OP, I couldn't really tell if he was madly in love with Disney and/or the gf so its hard to say. For me, Disney is really a very regular part of my quality of life. I am not super obsessed however it is enough a part of my life that anyone that shares this life with me, cannot just be "tolerant" or pretend it doesn't exist... for instance, if you smoke, we can't go together. Period. I don't judge anyone that smokes but it is just not something I could ignore, tolerate or compromise on. If you worship the devil... sorry but, check..please. IF you don't like fluffy women, then I probably won't be someone you could compromise on... its that simple. We all have our very special funky wiring and mine just happens to be very magical, thank you.

AMEN! I just think its sad people aren't a bit more open minded to trying the Disney experience. I was a person, who wasn't anti (I was raised a Disney kid), but had a good friend tell me, he would do every vacation at Disney..and I thought he was nuts. Now that I know the experience, I couldn't agree more! In fact the only reason we aren't going this year is, we have family to visit...because if we don't I'd feel guilty of going to WDW twice in a row, without having seen family. Haha...WDW is now a part of who I am...and I was that person who thought going there was a "rip off", and for chumps.

I had a complete role reversal, so I get bummed reading about how significant others are so closed to the idea!