Etiquette Question: Planning for 2017

[MikeandTier]

Hi Everyone,
The last time I was really active on the DISboards was when we planned our first WDW trip and cruise earlier this year! (We are DLR AP holders but FL is a whole other beast!) Well, that trip ended up being our engagement trip! Squeeee! So now, we are planning a Disney wedding (naturally)!


Anyhow after doing some research DLR's options would break the bank and not get us what we want.
*Sad Panda*

So we looked into WDW and found that the new Mini-Wishes option would be just the ticket! (Ok so we didn't just find that out by ourselves, a FB group, constantly stalking Disney Wedding Podcasts, and the Passporter (which I'm still reading) guided us toward that option.)

Our current hope is to do the following:
-Have a mini-bachelor/bachelorette party at EPCOT
-Rehearsal at Ohana or at a Dessert Party
-Get married at EPCOT reception for brunch at Boardwalk and do an unofficial dessert thing in the park after in the place he proposed.

The kicker is that we want to do all of this in 2017 so we can't plan yet but we want to get our guests thinking about this/saving now etc so they aren't freaked when they get the invites!

Our current cap (that we want to stick to for our budget is 50 people) we have 58 on the list and know that some won't come. Currently estimating that ~30-35 of that group would make it. But we wouldn't be surprised if more made the trip. We also have a B list of people who we love a lot but can't afford to invite if a higher percentage of the A list says yes than we are anticipating.

Our hypothetical solution: Send out Save the Dates now, to the 58 and request a Yes or No so we can invite the rest of the people. Tacky? No-no? Other ideas? Help please!

 

[elphie101]

Congrats on your engagement!!

A lot of people do send out save the dates super early (especially those planning internationally) and request a Pre-RSVP so I don't think it's "tacky" to send them out 2 years in advance (one of my favorite quotes from wedding planning was "everything is tacky to someone" - remember that!!) The only thing that would give me pause is just the fact that so much can change in that amount of time - by the time you actually start to speak with DFTW what you want or what you are able to have could look wildly different. You should also be prepared that a pre-rsvp might stress some guests out (having to decide what they'll do in 2 years) but do what is best for you overall - again, it is 100% impossible to please everyone!

If I were in your shoes (aka this is what we did ) I would do lots of verbal communication with your must have guests in advance to get the ball rolling. Also saves on postage/printing costs! An A/B list is tricky. Good luck!

 

[MouseJen]

Hi, we are planning the same. As we are looking to ask 18 people to travel half way across the world we want to make sure they have enough notice as possible. We are making a little personalised pack to send with it, with fun websites to explore and helpful tips (none of our guests have been to WDW before). I don't think it is tacky, I think it's thoughtful and keeps your guests informed

 

[sambycat]

from experience i can just tell you that really only people recently deep into wedding planing "understand" what STDs are or are supposed to mean? as a PP said, your plans can change 1000 times over 2 years/until you confirm with WDW. i would just float it out there with people. we could have had 40 people, we ended up with 28. my main regret was not being a tad more liberal with the invitations and the whole thing is just kinda weird!! i feel your pain, its hard to know how/what to do. at some point, you make the leap and have to draw lines somewhere. no answers for you except that other folks won't necessarily understand the STD thing - people will or won't save or plan or be able to go. i think i would probably be telling the 100% "A" list non negotiable family members all along, and then just send invites at whatever time (4 months out?) that you can confirm with WDW and have it all confirmed for sure. and let the chips fall! theoretically, a retina percentage of invitees don't come but then some people say more people come to a WDW destination wedding. good luck!

 

[MikeandTier]

Thank you three for the tips and words of advice!
We really appreciate it!

With your words of wisdom we've decided to wait until we can pencil in with Disney (January of 2016) to send anything out. We're going to send save the dates with reply cards and very few details, just that it will be at the WDW resort and the dates that wedding events will take place with a link to our website where we'll post more information. And then do the full invites in May of 2016 once everything is 100% confirmed.

Also, new favorite wedding planning quote right here!!!

(one of my favorite quotes from wedding planning was "everything is tacky to someone" - remember that!!)