Family not in love with all my planning?!

[Melissa8905]

What?! Not everyone in the world loves to scour DISboards, read tip guides, subscribe to every Disney blog out there, talk about strategies with total strangers 7+ months in advance?

I'm going in October with extended family vs. our usual immediate-family-only trip. My Dad and I are all about DIsney planning, little-known "nuggets" and researching. Some of the others can get interested in the conversation for a bit, and a few including my DH, mom and 6yo son! are already tired of hearing it!

Despite not being asked to DO one single bit of planning, they are tired of even being in the room when the topic comes up (and it ALWAYS comes up!

I know they are frustrated with the feeling that ADRs FP+ and touring plans make it all seem so structured and more like a workday than a vacation. HOWEVER, I also know they'll be darn glad I did all this planning when we go and have a great time!

I'm going to need tips on how to use a touring plan without letting them KNOW I'm using a touring plan, or they'll revolt. THey'll totally "go with the flow" if they think I've just come up with an idea on the spot, but probably rip a plan out of my hands if I bring a printed one

Maybe I'll have it printed in miniature on the backs of my sunglass lenses

Anyone else travel with family who's not *quite* as invested as you are?

I'm the only person in my family- both immediate and extended- who plans for our trips to WDW. I've learned to keep my mouth shut, and then when we finally get there I get everyone going to where I've planned on going without letting on that it was all planned in advance. They all succumb to being ushered around by their free tour guide and I've even had family members (like MIL) gush at how they would've had a disastrous trip, if it weren't for yours truly

So go ahead and spend endless hours on DISboards, change your ADR's fifty times, map out just how you're going to view Wishes and research each and every Disney Resort! Your family would be lost without you, and deep down inside they really know it.

Carry on!

 

[Melissa8905]

I am doing the planning, since no one wants "what are we going to do now? I don't know, what does everyone else want to do" confusion while we are in the parks.

THIS, exactly! Especially with my in-laws, who I adore, but...

 

[luvthemouse71]

I plan ADRs and FPs. Even the FPs are subject to change though. I dont do spreadsheets or anything crazy like that.

 

[MinnieMouse100]

So glad to know I'm not the only one with a color coded spreadsheet!

 

[MichaelaF]

Note this is coming from someone who truly believes that planning for Disney is half the fun....

But, speaking from some experience, here's what you don't want to happen:

1) You don't want your family to feel like they've been "tricked" or deceived
2) You don't want them to feel rushed going place to place on vacation if that's not their thing (it sounds like it's not)
3) You don't want to a revolt - which, I have learned can include sneaky-type revolts (as I will explain below)

So given that, I'll throw a few things in....

-I really love TALKING about Disney and upcoming trips. Now, thankfully, my husband doesn't usually mind this, but I know that at times I have probably taken advantage of that kindness. He loves Disney parks, but he doesn't care much about them if we aren't there - he'll never be a Diser. My mom and stepdad (who went with us last time) will happily listen to a point - they don't complain - but they will change the subject when they are over it. So I've just learned...it's okay to not talk about it all the time, for their sake. That's why I enjoy the boards, and I love talking to the few "in real life" friends I have that are also Disney geeks. I get to get all of that talking out with them! (Also, you have your Dad, so you talk focus on talking to him!)

-What you DO want is for them to get excited about the trip, not anxious about how you might be controlling their life for the whole thing. So this is where some finesse comes in. Find whatever their "thing" is and stick to mentioning those things. Is someone a foodie? You can mention a specific dessert that you heard has amazing reviews at a restaruant you'll be at. Is someone a golfer? Book 9 holes for them. Someone else love to relax by the pool? Mention the great drink someone recommended that is at your resort bar. Etc. Note, this only works if you haven't worn out your welcome in their ears already, so that's where maybe giving everyone a break on talking about it all the time comes in.

-Ask them questions, instead of just talking at them about the trip. What was the first Disney movie you remember seeing? What is the one ride you don't want to miss? What do you think will be your favorite park? What can I do to help you have a better vacation?

-Plan some "time off" for your non-commandos. Like, significant chunks of time to go off plan and be free. Maybe just do your FPs in the morning, have lunch together, split up and do your own thing, and meet up again at dinner. Plan whole evenings where couples can go have some alone time without the rest of the group.

-Have a back up plan for a revolt. My parents were sneaky about this, and we paid for it. We had several mornings when I'd ask if they were okay with leaving at 8am for the parks, and they'd say "Sure!" and then wouldn't even emerge from their rooms til 9. So we lost some critical morning time at the parks just waiting for them. Other times we needed to be places, and they would goof around and pretend like it wasn't a big deal. So finally, we just decided we'd let them do what they wanted. We left without them some mornings and told them we'd meet up later. It was a little discouraging, because we really wanted to spend more time with them in the parks than we ended up doing, but I also didn't want the friction of "YOU MUST DO WHAT I SAY!" to kill our family vacation. In the end, I realized the vacation was not really all about ME and how I prefer to "do" the parks.

Like others have said, your knowledge will of course come in handy when you are there, and they will likely be grateful for at least some of it. But definitely remember - it's their vacation too, and you want them to feel like they have vacated and that everyone still loves each other at the end of it.

 

[agavegirl1]

I plan ADRs and FPs. Even the FPs are subject to change though. I dont do spreadsheets or anything crazy like that.

Spreadsheets are crazy???

 

[Micca]

After 50+ visits I no longer make extensive plans. I pick the best park day, make the FP+ reservations, and that's it. I used to plan extensively, but my family ridiculed me for it. I simply became more discreet about the planning, and kept it to myself. Unlike most guys, I have zero interest in anything related to sports, so I tell myself to discuss Disney in a way that I wouldn't mind others discussing "the game."

 

[disnut8]

What?! Not everyone in the world loves to scour DISboards, read tip guides, subscribe to every Disney blog out there, talk about strategies with total strangers 7+ months in advance?

I'm going in October with extended family vs. our usual immediate-family-only trip. My Dad and I are all about DIsney planning, little-known "nuggets" and researching. Some of the others can get interested in the conversation for a bit, and a few including my DH, mom and 6yo son! are already tired of hearing it!

Despite not being asked to DO one single bit of planning, they are tired of even being in the room when the topic comes up (and it ALWAYS comes up!

I know they are frustrated with the feeling that ADRs FP+ and touring plans make it all seem so structured and more like a workday than a vacation. HOWEVER, I also know they'll be darn glad I did all this planning when we go and have a great time!

I'm going to need tips on how to use a touring plan without letting them KNOW I'm using a touring plan, or they'll revolt. THey'll totally "go with the flow" if they think I've just come up with an idea on the spot, but probably rip a plan out of my hands if I bring a printed one

Maybe I'll have it printed in miniature on the backs of my sunglass lenses

Anyone else travel with family who's not *quite* as invested as you are?

Quite honestly, they just don't want to hear about the planning all the time. I was the Disney planner for my family trips (still am but the family is just two people now). My husband and son did NOT want to talk about Disney World every day. So, I learned to still do the planning but not tell them every single detail all the time. Instead, I asked their opinions on things that would affect them and they had control over. Like, making a dining reservation. I would do the planning and then give them the options and they would pick. But, I didn't involve them in the planning before then. I just gave them the choices. They also did not want to have a daily schedule presented to them before they left our house. So, I planned and had a schedule but didn't tell them. Each day while on vacation (not before), I would say something like "today (or tomorrow) would be a great day for *fill in the blank*, does that sound good?" They would agree because they knew I already had a plan and it worked. I just hadn't badgered them with it for the last six months.

My advice - back off with the constant talking about the trip to those who aren't into the planning. Trust me, they will have a great time and they will be a lot happier before you leave and the only thing you will need to do is temper the conversation. It will be a win-win for everyone and it's a good compromise.

 

[bella2117]

when I say to my husband "hey can I ask you something?' and he says "I swear to god if it has to do with Disney I'm going to scream" I know that he hit his limit lol He just wants to know three things "when where and how much" anything in between he leaves up to me and doesn't want to know until we arrive in Disney

 

[Melany502]

when I say to my husband "hey can I ask you something?' and he says "I swear to god if it has to do with Disney I'm going to scream" I know that he hit his limit lol He just wants to know three things "when where and how much" anything in between he leaves up to me and doesn't want to know until we arrive in Disney

LOL!!! My husband says something similar. He doesn't realize how much planning is involved and I wish he'd put in more input, but what can you do!

 

[NY Pirate Princess]

My husband does not want to hear one second of planning. He was irritated when I printed a couple of menus and made him choose one of our dining reservations. However, he literally strutted down the FP line and gloated how much we got done and how much fun we were having compared to all those people waiting in huge lines for headliners. Laughed his way into our BOG lunch reservation. We all had a wonderful time and thanked me every day. Plan away! Just keep it to yourself!!!!

 

[Bilierka]

My experience has been that non planners get overwhelmed easily and freak out about being "over planned". My husband hates to hear the planning so I just don't tell him about it. When we're at the park he's happy I've done it because he benefits.

Keep the TP on your phone. Just tell them you're consulting ride wait times.

My husband in in charge of paying, I do all the planning, I just tell him where, when and how much . I love to talk about disney , my family not so much. Made daughter do the fast pass booking because no one will ever mistake me for Steve jobs or bill gates, love the planning,hate the computer!!!!

 

[BabiesDaddy]

I can say when on vacation with a group of people, everyone has different tastes in what they want to do. If you try and go at it as a big group, your vacation will suffer and you will not get to do everything you planned to do. I'd plan your trip and everyone on board can roll with you and your group, everyone else, meet for lunch and dinner.

 

[jemlover]

I was really upset this week when I realized that my husband was sick of my planning for this trip. I decided to keep quiet about it for awhile. I thought I was the only one that had this problem. He also complained that he feels like we are always rushing when we are in the parks. I'm still not letting him sleep in when we're there but I am planning some down time. I sure don't want him to refuse to go again.

 

[iheartbklyn]

Not only does my fiancé give me crap for how far in advance I have planned this trip but I also have to hear about it at work! I don't really "plan" there but they see the hoards and hoards of packages I receive (dresses, autograph book, MNSSHP tickets, Halloween costume, etc.) all for WDW. They can't believe that something that is almost 5 months away is something I am investing this much time in. My fiancé seems to appreciate it at least. He doesn't tell me to stop, he just makes fun of me a bit. Same with my coworkers. They simply don't "get it."

However, I am like this with EVERYTHING. If we weren't going to WDW I would be over planning my DD's birthday like I do every year. This year her birthday is going to be celebrated at WDW so I get to invest all my time into this trip instead of a party.

 

[iheartbklyn]

I was really upset this week when I realized that my husband was sick of my planning for this trip. I decided to keep quiet about it for awhile. I thought I was the only one that had this problem. He also complained that he feels like we are always rushing when we are in the parks. I'm still not letting him sleep in when we're there but I am planning some down time. I sure don't want him to refuse to go again.

I think my fiancé's only issue will be the not sleeping in thing. Although, on our third day we will be able to. Just not the other 4

 

[Mikie]

when I say to my husband "hey can I ask you something?' and he says "I swear to god if it has to do with Disney I'm going to scream" I know that he hit his limit lol He just wants to know three things "when where and how much" anything in between he leaves up to me and doesn't want to know until we arrive in Disney

Ha ha ha ha! I think my husband might like to meet your husband. I also like that his limit (in your mind) doesn't come until all the way at "I swear to god, woman. . . !"

 

[Kaylars]

I'm making brochures for each park day to keep information on what rides and shops we don't want to miss and our reservation info for that day. My fiance just laughs at me. It's fun and something to look forward to, especially being our honeymoon and first time to wdw

 

[Mikie]

I think my fiancé's only issue will be the not sleeping in thing. Although, on our third day we will be able to. Just not the other 4

We've never been RD people (me too - I want to relax on vacation!) but this time I want to get started early enough to need an early lunch at BOG, another day try to get Jedi Training, and we have Akershus at 8:30 one day. . . I'm going to have to ease them into these concepts gently!

 

[iheartbklyn]

We've never been RD people (me too - I want to relax on vacation!) but this time I want to get started early enough to need an early lunch at BOG, another day try to get Jedi Training, and we have Akershus at 8:30 one day. . . I'm going to have to ease them into these concepts gently!

Were you able to book a lunch reservation for BOG?