Family Trip Planning Dilemma

[DiznEeyore]

I have a trip dilemma that I'm looking for input on (slightly DVC-related, but mostly a family issue).

Mil has been with us to WDW twice -- first trip we had her, her sister, my best friend, and her mom with us. Second time mil came we stayed in a 2-bdrm at VWL -- dh's brother and mil's best friend also came.

My parents have never come with us (never had any interest) but yesterday I called my mom while the Travel Channel's special on the WL was on to show her our "home away from home". She thought the WL was really nice, but became completely enthralled with the cabins at Fort Wilderness!!

I mentioned that we're planning a January trip (in a couple of years) for dh's 40th and ds' 16th b-days. I asked if they'd like to join us, with them at FW and us at VWL. She thought that sounded great! She said she really wanted to see "Epcot, and that park with all the countries in it."

Dilemma is this -- I feel like we should also invite mil (we'd get a 2-bdrm and she'd stay with us), since it's her son's 40th and her only grandchild's 16th.
But ds has recently begun having "issues" with mil (she can be slightly .... irrational at times) and he wants to experience WDW with his other grandparents alone, as he's done with her. I can totally understand that, but still feel like inviting her is the right thing to do.

All 3 parents get along fine (but aren't buddy-buddy or anything) and would probably even golf together. But mil might also feel like the odd-man-out at times, having no spouse. My folks are totally fine with her coming, and my mom agrees we should probably invite her.

Any thoughts??

 

[Doctor P]

Boy, that's a tough one. Here's is something to consider. Why don't you see if your DS could stay with your parents at FW. That makes it a special trip for him, allows him to have some time alone with them, but also allows MIL to be invited. Perhaps this would be a way to have your cake and eat it too.

 

[cinderminnie]

Sounds like my extended family.
We invited my parents and MIL to Christmas at SSR. Now they get along but have their differences. MIL is hard to get along with at times. She is picky! But all are excited about going. MIL invited her longtime friend so she will not be alone. They are doing things on their own as well. It is going to be an interesting week!
I have to agree that you should invite MIL only because my DH would want me to do the same. Whether she decides to go is her choice. Just let her know that your parents are going for the first time. I agree also with Doctor P and have ds stay with your parents and you and DH stay with MIL.
AW, FAMILY....don't you just love them?!

 

[CarolMN]

Sounds like your trip isn't until 2007 or 2008. My advice is to just sit tight - no need to decide right now. Maybe your DS's issues will resolve themselves before it's time to actually make the reservations. Kids are like that!

Best wishes -

 

[married@wdw]

What about telling MIL the truth...nicely, that is?!?! Ask if she'd like to join you for the "second half" of your trip and explain that your son would really like to show his other grandparents -- who've never really been before -- around WDW alone for the first few days, but that you'd love it if she joins you after your son has gotten a chance to show the "newbies" around? Would that work? Would that appease everyone? Maybe MIL could bring her best friend if she didn't want to travel alone?

Good luck! The toughest part of planning a trip with extended family is, well, extended family!

 

[DiznEeyore]

All very good advice! I especially like the idea of having ds spend time with my folks at the cabin.

In talking a bit further with my mom, it seems that she and my dad think they'd only stay for a few days, so it may be possible to "overlap" our guests, rather than having everyone there at the same time.

Also, if we plan our point usage properly, we could actually get a 2-bdrm and a studio for that trip, so if they were interested, mil, bil and either my sil or mil's friend could come. That way, mil and her guest (her daughter or a friend) could have the studio, and then ds and bil could have the 2nd bedroom of our villa.

Thanks again for the input -- it's appreciated!

 

[rocketriter]

You never owe anybody an invitation. Take some relatives on some trips and other relatives on other trips. Sculpt who's in your group to make sure it's a fun combination. Don't feel you have to haul everybody (or anybody) along out of guilt.

 

[NJOYURLIFE]

I agree that inviting your MIL for her son's 40th birthday is a very good idea. I know if it were my husband, he'd be very happy to have his mom there for that occasion.

You have received alot of good ideas. Good Luck!

 

[wilderness01]

I agree with another poster, sit tight. No need for any decision now since your trip isn't right around the corner. The situation may change so I would wait to see how relationships are before inviting anyone anywhere.