Farting Etiquette

[JodyLynC]

I'm crying over this thread!!!

My girls call DH "Daddy, the king of farts." When either of my DDs fart, they look to daddy for approval. If any of us have a loud or rumbling fart, the girls will exclaim "Wow! That was a Daddy fart!"

In our house, depending upon the sound effect of the gas bomb, we have experienced Fireworks (or firecrackers), stepping on a duck or frog, blowing kisses (the little ones), or dolphin farts (the high, squeaky ones).

 

[Handbag Lady]

Yes, we do have barking spiders in our household.

Farts are funny. I'm just not allowed to release them in public.

 

[RVGal]

My girls call DH "Daddy, the king of farts."

My boys call DH "Gas Master"

 

[The Paint Nazi]

This is hilarious. I have to add my horried fart experience. I was at work and the lady who was filling up the cookie display in the cafeteria bent over and literally farted right in my face. Everyone just sort of looked it was so loud. I dropped my tray and there was corn all over the floor. I will never ever forget that embarrassing episode of being farted upon.

I'm really hoping the corn came from your tray!

 

[lacy1101]

I realize I'm in the minority here and people probably think I'm weird, but my ****ing etiquette beings with not using the word ****! I just can't stand that word.

 

[agentpleakley]

First period this morning, my 6th grade students proved me right! Right before a spelling test, this girl went, "EWWWW! Somebody farted and it's so disgusting, can I please move?" I immediately thought of this thread and was trying not to laugh, but then all the kids were laughing and I couldn't help it.

I got them settled down for their spelling test and started giving them their words in sentences. I get to the word, "impolite" and started giggling to myself as I said, "It is impolite to fart in public." We all lost it and spent the rest of the spelling test in tears as I tried to incorporate other little gems into the test. "It is inappropriate to pass gas in school." I was crying by the end of the test, as were they.

I confess. I'm a middle school boy in disguise.

(And I'll probably be in so much trouble!)

You can probably be the topic of an entire thread here -debating the pros and cons of bathroom humor during spelling tests

I realize I'm in the minority here and people probably think I'm weird, but my ****ing etiquette beings with not using the word ****! I just can't stand that word.

Mom, is that you???? I'm 39 and she still yells at me for using the f**t word. And yes, I try to use poot or stinker -- but sometimes a fart is just a fart.

 

[Luv2Scrap]

My darling DH has a habit of farting in store aisle, then leaves me standing there so it looks like I did it. And it's always bad - real bad. For some reason, he almost always does it in a Hallmark store. Ticks me off, but I do love him so!

my DH will fart in a store aisle, and then very slyly ask me to come over by him to look at "something he wants to show me"

 

[JodyLynC]

I realize I'm in the minority here and people probably think I'm weird, but my ****ing etiquette beings with not using the word ****! I just can't stand that word.

My MIL is the same way. My children make her read Walter, the Farting Dog, but she changes everything to flatulence or passed gas.

 

[JodyLynC]

:
but sometimes a fart is just a fart.

Is that your next tag??????

 

[Metro West]

Is that your next tag??????

Hey...I would vote for that!

 

[mylightshines]

When I sneeze, I also tend to fart. My family calls it the sneeze-n-fart. At home, it's okay, but not when I'm at work. I always try to stand up against a wall or sit down. Consequently, I try to hold my sneeze and everyone's always laughing at my pitiful sneeze. I've never had enough courage to admit it's because I'm trying not to fart!!

 

[MOMTOCUTESTDOGEVER]

This reminded of a guy I sat next to in high school. He took great pride in his farts because he knew how disgusted I was. I finally had enough one day so I brought a small can of Ozium with me. He let 'er rip, and I nonchalantly bent over to get my can and sprayed him for about 5 seconds. That's a lot of Ozium. He wasn't happy, but it solved the problem.

 

[JodyLynC]

When I sneeze, I also tend to fart. My family calls it the sneeze-n-fart. At home, it's okay, but not when I'm at work. I always try to stand up against a wall or sit down. Consequently, I try to hold my sneeze and everyone's always laughing at my pitiful sneeze. I've never had enough courage to admit it's because I'm trying not to fart!!

 

[Mellie2162]

there is

toot
and one of my favorite crop dusting

Oh my heavens. Our pediatrician always asks the kids if they toot and every single time they laugh so hard they cry. She thinks they're insane.

 

[Mellie2162]

My brother once tried to light up a fart and caught his britches on fire. It was quite the show watching him dance the jig and pat the inseam of his legs frantically.

I could go on forever about DH and farting. He comes from a long line of farters who used to hold contests for 1.00. His mom always won and apparently has passed the trait down to him.

 

[tinkbutt]

I love that people still say britches it's such a fun word

 

[Amelia Peabody]

When we were kids we "left a stinker" or "shot a bunny".
My personal favorite "a kiss for your grandmother".

 

[wardfamily1]

.... sometimes a fart is just a fart.

OH TAG FAIRY, AGENTPLEAKLEY NEEDS A TAG!!!

 

[Mellie2162]

I love that people still say britches it's such a fun word

what else are they called? My mother always called them britches.

 

[tinkbutt]

pants or underwear I am not sure what he was wearing....I hope he was wearing pants