Well, as my one friend said,'"I am so done with this. "
I am sick of asking for help and getting none, from online boards to actual doctors to family.
I am currently like a beached whale. I rely on my almost 65 yr. Mother to get of bed, to feed me and to take me places. I actually weigh less than before, but still have 50 magical pounds to get back to the me before diagnosis.
My shoulders both scream in pain everytime I have to reach for something. My knees, which have never worked right are about to go. Headaches are near constant. My legs feel like they are made of stone. I have an inflammational issue which may be causing my white blood cell levels to rise. I can only use a cane while out.
So, I am done. I realize that this illness(s)I have are different for each person, but i am still done! I can no longer take the silence or the pain. Once I decided that I would go on a planned trip in September for my birthday...my legs swell even more so.
Last time I used a wheelchair as a walker and a seart. Thought about trying an
ecv this time, but then the doctor discovered calcification in my right shoulder, probably in the left too, so no holding a throttle down.
I want to remember how much fun we had last trip and not have my last trip (which was going to DLR for Halloween as a bucket list item) as way less than steller. Too many questions...is it worth a day off a non expering ticket worth it for the 3fp+s...ect...ect...ect.
I am well aware I am venting and have a feeling I won't even earn a mention or reply, but if I do than I thank you and hope I get a chance to read it. Many tests are coming that my proclude me from reading the boards (which only make me want cry now ) or the tests may say that I am to ill to oo anyway.
I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.