? For Middle School Theater Parents

[Amy]

My boys are long out of high school now, but to anyone who's child is participating in plays/musicals/shows at their schools: PLEASE get involved! Especially for the bigger productions, they really, really need help from parents. Our high school does a wonderful musical each spring. DH got involved building the sets when our oldest DS was a freshman. Our youngest DS graduated 5 years ago, and DH is STILL helping with the sets. They're doing West Side Story this year. Looking at the program, the list of adult volunteers for stage crew lists 10 adults; only TWO of those adults have children in the show. The rest are adults whose children graduated years ago, but they return year after year because (a) they enjoy the work (like DH) and (b) because the school can't get enough volunteers from the parents of the kids involved. We talked to a former neighbor whose daughter is in the show this year, and he said he didn't volunteer because it was too much hassle to get all the paperwork needed to work at the school around the kids - the child abuse and FBI clearances, etc. (thank you Jerry Sandusky ). Yes, it's a pain to do all the paperwork, but when you see what those kids can do, it's totally worth it. It's for YOUR kids, so GET INVOLVED!

 

[HM]

My kids did the back of house stuff, as they didn't want to perform. I usually ask my child which night they think I should come. They usually chose Closing Night.
The theater only has so many seats and some of their productions were sell-outs. I wanted other people to have a chance to see it.

 

[mnrose]

My boys are long out of high school now, but to anyone who's child is participating in plays/musicals/shows at their schools: PLEASE get involved! Especially for the bigger productions, they really, really need help from parents. Our high school does a wonderful musical each spring. DH got involved building the sets when our oldest DS was a freshman. Our youngest DS graduated 5 years ago, and DH is STILL helping with the sets. They're doing West Side Story this year. Looking at the program, the list of adult volunteers for stage crew lists 10 adults; only TWO of those adults have children in the show. The rest are adults whose children graduated years ago, but they return year after year because (a) they enjoy the work (like DH) and (b) because the school can't get enough volunteers from the parents of the kids involved. We talked to a former neighbor whose daughter is in the show this year, and he said he didn't volunteer because it was too much hassle to get all the paperwork needed to work at the school around the kids - the child abuse and FBI clearances, etc. (thank you Jerry Sandusky ). Yes, it's a pain to do all the paperwork, but when you see what those kids can do, it's totally worth it. It's for YOUR kids, so GET INVOLVED!

I help with sewing costumes. One of the women has been sewing costumes for this high school's productions for 30 (!!!!) years....her last graduated from high school more than 15 years ago! Thank goodness for parents like her. There is no way the shows would happen without parents, the unsung heroes of middle school and high school theater (and choir and band and on and on and on). If you are looking for something to do (I'm looking at you retired people!), contact your local high school. I guarantee they will find a role for you in the theater department.

 

[mjkacmom]

My two oldest have been in many productions (school and community), and have had leads, and I usually go once (heck, some were $25 a ticket). When they were in middle school, I would volunteer to work backstage. They have very busy siblings, so I usually needed to be elsewhere. I've never missed a single night concert (school choirs, regional, all-state, college), and I try to make sure there in someone in the audience for multiple day shows (even if DH and I don't go together).

 

[richmo]

Unless there was a seating capacity issue, we tried to go each night. I agree with some of the others that mentioned you could take a night or two helping to sell tickets, sell snacks, etc. The thing is as they get older, you may get to watch them doing something less and less...enjoy it while you can.

 

[crazymama]

If my DD15 is in a theatre "class" production (for example is currently doing Footloose) I will try to hit 2 of the usual 4-5 shows. If she is doing something more mainstage I will go at least twice and occasionally three times (but there are 18 shows running $50-60 a seat so cost and time are a major factor.) When I do shows she and DH usually do the same. Twice is usually sufficient... one near the opening and one closer to closing. (For example, I just finished The Addams Family and she came opening and closing nights. Both emotionally charged shows for completely different reasons... Good nights to provided Mom with support and love).

 

[slo]

My 16yr old DD is very involved with theater in highschool and was in middle school too.
I/we ALWAYS go on Opening Night.
I do not go the other nights. It's not because I don't want to see her, but her friends may think it's a little odd that mom and dad are in their minds "hovering around" all the time.
Now if my DD asked me to go more than one night, than I absolutely would (and she knows that).

A good way to go more often and not seem like your hovering is to volunteer to help.
I was a backstage mom for the Spring Musical and had so much fun
When it was DD's time to sing her 2 solos, I went and watched that real quick while another mom covered my position and I did the same for her. I already told the director that I would be happy to do this again next year. It was a great way to get to know some of DD's friends better too.

Theater is alot of fun - my DD loves it!!

 

[elgerber]

If it's less than a week's run, I go to all the shows. My daughter is in a musical opening soon with 8 performances. I'll go to opening night, then two other shows during the run. But back in middle school, for the three night runs, I went to all of them.

This is about what I do. In high school they had 4 shows I went to all (I should add though, I didn't have to buy tickets for all 4, because I am president of the booster club and I was running the house). But I loved watching it 4 times. When she has done community theater, sometimes they do 12 show!!! Then I usually go opening and closing nights.

 

[cabanafrau]

I was a dance mom for 13 years. At that age I was there for every night, whether watching or in a backstage support role. In a school production they may not require as much backstage support, so you might be in the audience.

 

[JanaDee]

If my kids are in an activity where parents are welcome (concerts, plays, sporting events, awards banquets, etc,) they know I will be there.

 

[Flight]

Absent some commitment that required you to be somewhere else, you should attend all the performances. I was always there in support of my kids.

 

[stsomewhere]

My son is a junior and I have attend every night. the only exception was when he was in Midnight summer's Dream. It was at very small community theater and sold old every performance. His high school has a huge auditorium and never sells out.

If my kids are in it, we are there supporting them. If there is a conflict with two activites, my husband and I each go to one.

 

[WorldWacky]

I come at this from a few perspectives. As a performer during my school years, my mom was at least at every performance. (Dad would be there for two out of five performances.) She would have a different group of family or friends with her each night. And even on those nights where it was just my mom in the audience, I knew SOMEONE was out there for me.
As a mom, I do the same for my children.
As the director of the Junior High productions I can tell you that while it very well may be true that your son doesn't mind not having a family member out in the audience, I have seen first hand the disappointment on the kids' faces when there is no one for them to share that moment with after the show. Sometimes the best performance isn't opening or closing night. Our most electric performance was on a Monday night. I NEVER would have guessed that for a Monday night! Each performance will have little moments that are a bit different and special. Please tell you son to "Break-a-Leg" and to enjoy every moment up there. It goes by way too quickly.

 

[LifeWithLouie]

My son is older now but when he was in Middle school and high school he was in shows. You could ask if they need help backstage one of the nights. I know for the middle school show we NEVER had enough help back stage. It's not like you do much but keep the kids quiet and help them with a costume if they need help. There was one show that this one kid was not behaving at all and his mother wasn't back stage at all. She had decided to sit for all 3 shows and let those back stage deal with her son. I wasn't happy. I usually only sat for 1 show. If it was a really good show I liked to watch the first and the last to see the difference.
Honestly I don't know if there is a right answer. You know your kid best and ask him what show he wants you at.

As a music teacher - YES! Ask if you can help with anything backstage!! Or in a back room. I would have LOVED to have people WORKING (not gabbing) for us. If nothing else but, keeping the kids quiet and back from the "audience sight lines", running last minute lines with nervous actors, last minute costume, hair, make-up checks, running off last minute programs, etc. SO much to do. Help is always appreciated!

 

[goofy4tink]

Theatre mom here....dd has been doing this since she was 8 years old...she is now almost 22. I was at all of her shows right through high school. I worked the house in a lot of them, concessions, etc. Most of us did...parents got to be very close then.
Now, she's in college....almost 90 mins away. She was just in 'The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee'.....Fri/Sat/Sun/Wed/Fri/Sat shows. I missed the Wed and second Fri shows. Yes, I drive almost 3 hrs total to see a 2 hr show. I usually drive down with people that want to see the shows but don't want to drive. I enjoy the drive. There are times when I'm by myself though.
I figure that there are only so many times I'll be able to see her perform. When she's out of school and has moved away (hopefully to WDW) I won't be able to do it. Not to mention that I know all the kids she's in shows with....she says they thing something's wrong if I'm not there!!!! Of course, I do tend to bring baked goods with me!

Go if you can..but it's not going to be a good thing if you go only because you think you 'should'. Believe me...some of my dd's shows have been less than thrilling to see once...let alone 3 times!!! But I did.

As a performer, I love it when I know I have someone in the audience. It's just nice. I know that a lot of people that don't have anyone in the audience feel a bit let down.