Gender Reveal parties

[HopperFan]

Personally, I think video evidence of his reaction would probably be something we’d look back at with laughter.

Yes, look back on as adults. I don't think it is the same as a child watching from very young, having that image in their head, possibly manifesting itself over years as how their parent felt about them.

We had a neighbor child who kept insisting they used to be a dog. Over and over. We asked him why he thought he was a dog and he said he is in the family photo albums and he is a dog. Photos, videos etc are something kids really absorb. Well I was babysitting him and asked him to see the family photo albums where he was a dog. And sure enough Mom, Dad, older brother and a dog ... WITH THE SAME NAME AS HIM.

Sure enough the family had a dog named Markie before he was born and then they named him MARK. For YEARS growing up he thought he was a dog. We should never dismiss the power of photos, videos etc on kids sponge brains.

I think anyone who goes ahead and posts a video that clearly shows a disappointed parent .... well I'll just say it speaks loudly about them.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Dang, you all would positively hate me in real life. There were 5 showers thrown for my first ds (the only people invited to more than 1 was my mom and sister.) Then someone threw a very small sprinkle for my second ds.

Not me! - I had 3. MIL threw a surprise party at her house for family and friends here. Some far-away family members on my side had a small get-together and sent me a video tape of well-wishes (because I couldn't travel due to complications) and work did a cake at lunch for me.

Yep, I'll take the bait. Five showers is excessive and greedy. Don't care who threw them At some point you say no.

This

As for baby showers and multiple showers they don’t bother me since in my circle baby showers are surprises. No one asks “can I throw you a shower.” It’s almost always a surprise. So you could have one thrown by your family, your spouses family, your friends, your coworkers. How do you say no? You walk into your shower and refuse to partake?

Why hurt people's feelings?

 

[Cadiewampus]

Just got invited to another gender reveal. (For my niece, the dad is my husband’s brother, who he is medium-close to.)

I do not understand the point of these parties. Yes, I am excited that my niece and her husband are expecting. My daughter and I cannot wait until her registries are online, so we can start shopping! But I also feel like for any gender reveal, the people who care the most are the new parents. I really do not care if it is a boy or girl.

So-do others feel this way? Or am I just a party-pooper?

To be honest, there is only a 50% chance we will be there, my husband starts a 6 week pretty intense medical treatment tomorrow, so we will only attend if he is feeling ok.

Whatever happened to just saying" hey we are having a boy or girl? These things are so stupid. One man's opinion

 

[Starport Seven-Five]

Yes, look back on as adults. I don't think it is the same as a child watching from very young, having that image in their head, possibly manifesting itself over years as how their parent felt about them.

Yep. As adults it wouldn't be an issue but an impressionable child who is trying to find their place in the world can take that parent's reaction all sorts of places.

 

[Uncle Coaster]

Yes, look back on as adults. I don't think it is the same as a child watching from very young, having that image in their head, possibly manifesting itself over years as how their parent felt about them.


I think anyone who goes ahead and posts a video that clearly shows a disappointed parent .... well I'll just say it speaks loudly about them.

I’ve known since I was a kid. My father has always been an excellent father.

I get it, I really do. I just don’t agree with the blanket judgment. It could also be a great bonding opportunity. I’m picturing a parent with a child on their knee watching the video saying look how disappointed I was and now look at how much I love you. Can’t believe how wrong I was. Blah blah blah.

 

[TiggerTrigger]

I’m really not a fan. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever even been invited to one. Although, this was left on our table at dinner the other night. Not sure why the servers didn’t clear it. DH asked if there was something I needed to tell him

 

[HopperFan]

I’m really not a fan. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever even been invited to one. Although, this was left on our table at dinner the other night. Not sure why the servers didn’t clear it. DH asked if there was something I needed to tell him

View attachment 840963

Guess it was revealed to be a girl ..... Team Boy lost.

 

[TiggerTrigger]

Guess it was revealed to be a girl ..... Team Boy lost.

I had all kinds of questions! Like were they all Team Boy and everyone got blue bracelets, or was there an actual game and Team Boy lost?

 

[#1hoosierfan]

Yep, I'll take the bait. Five showers is excessive and greedy. Don't care who threw them At some point you say no.

You have NO idea what I went thru to have my kids. My ex-husband and I spent years and thousands upon thousands of dollars to try to get pregnant. Nobody understands that stress and heartache unless you have gone thru it. It ultimately ended my marriage.

I found myself divorced in my early thirties and honestly thought that my chance to be a mom might be gone. I found myself married again at 33 and we were quickly able to get pregnant. I had my first son at 34.

My 5 showers? a friend shower, a family shower, and a work shower. The other 2? My husband's work threw a surprise shower and my 1st grade class threw a total surprise shower. Several of the moms in my class got together and did this for me. It was precious how excited my 6 year old students were.

I am one of the very last people you could ever consider greedy in this world. You need to step back.

 

[NAB]

Never went to one . I like the surprise when they go into labour than have the baby and everyone is waiting to see what you had.

Showers are fine even if you have more than one . I had one on each side nothing like today where people rent rooms and have a ton of people etc. Mine was at my sister’s house.

I’m surprised no one mention the push presents people get these days. Where did that start…

 

[Tink-osophy]

I think that celebratory events are a more frequent part of American culture? Of course, we all have them, but not to the same extent. So, I can see that while they're fun for some, they're more fatiguing for others.

 

[DisneyHardin]

Never heard of this Sprinkle thing - always seems to be a baby shower.
If first kid with a second\third husband (or significant other) a shower as well? How does that work?

We have a fairly young staff at work, so we have had lots of showers in the last 10 or so years. When it is a 2nd baby, we have a "Diaper Shower" and instead of gifts of clothes/toys/equipment, everyone just bring diapers and wipes.

 

[mjkacmom]

You have NO idea what I went thru to have my kids. My ex-husband and I spent years and thousands upon thousands of dollars to try to get pregnant. Nobody understands that stress and heartache unless you have gone thru it. It ultimately ended my marriage.

I found myself divorced in my early thirties and honestly thought that my chance to be a mom might be gone. I found myself married again at 33 and we were quickly able to get pregnant. I had my first son at 34.

My 5 showers? a friend shower, a family shower, and a work shower. The other 2? My husband's work threw a surprise shower and my 1st grade class threw a total surprise shower. Several of the moms in my class got together and did this for me. It was precious how excited my 6 year old students were.

I am one of the very last people you could ever consider greedy in this world. You need to step back.

I’ve had several friends who’s marriages broke up due to infertility, it really scared me.

 

[bsmcneil]

I sometimes feel like it all goes back to the participation trophy generation. Everything had to be celebrated even if it was nothing special. There isn’t anything wrong with simply sharing the news with friends and family informally, or through the items you might place on a gift registry. It’s not really something that requires a party, and certainly not those dangerous stunt parties. If the parents-to-be want to give a reveal party, fine, but I probably won’t attend.

Just a reminder - it was the parents (and not the kids/recipients) who insisted on participation trophies

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

You have NO idea what I went thru to have my kids. My ex-husband and I spent years and thousands upon thousands of dollars to try to get pregnant. Nobody understands that stress and heartache unless you have gone thru it. It ultimately ended my marriage.

I found myself divorced in my early thirties and honestly thought that my chance to be a mom might be gone. I found myself married again at 33 and we were quickly able to get pregnant. I had my first son at 34.

My 5 showers? a friend shower, a family shower, and a work shower. The other 2? My husband's work threw a surprise shower and my 1st grade class threw a total surprise shower. Several of the moms in my class got together and did this for me. It was precious how excited my 6 year old students were.

I am one of the very last people you could ever consider greedy in this world. You need to step back.

I actually do understand as I can't have children due to treatment for childhood cancer despite desperately wanting children. I don't need to step back. 5 showers sounds excessive. Your explanation makes more sense. But when you just say I had 5 showers how do you not think people are going to think that's a bit much?

And also, I am genuinely so happy for you that you were able to have a child. And I'm sincerely sorry your first marriage ended the way it did. It's heartbreaking. I had to have the very uncomfortable conversation with my second (now) husband who is a bit younger than me that I wasn't going to be able to give him children before we made the decision to get married. It was scary. Thankfully he was good with the idea that we would just spoil any nieces and nephews we had.

 

[#1hoosierfan]

I actually do understand as I can't have children due to treatment for childhood cancer despite desperately wanting children. I don't need to step back. 5 showers sounds excessive. Your explanation makes more sense. But when you just say I had 5 showers how do you not think people are going to think that's a bit much?

And also, I am genuinely so happy for you that you were able to have a child. And I'm sincerely sorry your first marriage ended the way it did. It's heartbreaking. I had to have the very uncomfortable conversation with my second (now) husband who is a bit younger than me that I wasn't going to be able to give him children before we made the decision to get married. It was scary. Thankfully he was good with the idea that we would just spoil any nieces and nephews we had.

I did not give further explanation in my first post because I genuinely had no idea that anyone would come right out and say I am greedy. I said it as more of a “tongue in cheek” thing. Honestly, most people I know have at least three…. Friend, family, and work. I just had 2 extra “surprise” showers.

I am sorry you had to deal with cancer as a child. I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in October 2021.So, so many setbacks and complications since that time. I have been very open about my journey both on this forum and Facebook. I now try to help guide others through their diagnosis with cancer. I have also fostered unwanted, neglected dogs in my home for 10 years, and I am involved with our community homeless population and cook and deliver a meal every Sunday to a local park for a potluck. These are just a few things I do to give back. I know this sounds like bragging. It truly is not. I’m the stupid one for getting my feelings hurt by a complete stranger on an Internet forum for calling me “greedy.” My self worth should only be defined by myself and those who know my intent.

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

I did not give further explanation in my first post because I genuinely had no idea that anyone would come right out and say I am greedy. I said it as more of a “tongue in cheek” thing. Honestly, most people I know have at least three…. Friend, family, and work. I just had 2 extra “surprise” showers.

I am sorry you had to deal with cancer as a child. I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in October 2021.So, so many setbacks and complications since that time. I have been very open about my journey both on this forum and Facebook. I now try to help guide others through their diagnosis with cancer. I have also fostered unwanted, neglected dogs in my home for 10 years, and I am involved with our community homeless population and cook and deliver a meal every Sunday to a local park for a potluck. These are just a few things I do to give back. I know this sounds like bragging. It truly is not. I’m the stupid one for getting my feelings hurt by a complete stranger on an Internet forum for calling me “greedy.”

I am genuinely sorry I hurt your feelings. I really do apologize. You're not stupid.

Ans I'm so glad you survived what you did. It's not an easy battle. I hope for easier times ahead.

 

[jimmymc]

Just a reminder - it was the parents (and not the kids/recipients) who insisted on participation trophies

As a millennial, I frequently have to remind people of this. Boomer and Gen X parents are the ones you see on Youtube or Facebook videos freaking out because their special little child lost the game, wasn't picked for the team, or failed a test.

 

[jimmymc]

It's an excuse for a party, and I don't see any problem with that. It's especially nice for the pregnant mother, who probably doesn't feel like going out to bars or more traditional parties when she can't fully participate. I feel like they get way too much hate for what's ultimately a bunch of friends spending time together. But the way people describe it online, you'd think it's some kind of punishment.

I'm replying to my own comment because as I read more of this thread, it seems like people are really focusing in on the parents to be wanting to brag about the sex of their child. That was never the point of gender reveal parties. The point is to get your friends and family together and celebrate a big occasion in your life, having a baby. It's the same idea as a birthday, wedding, or graduation party, and I rarely see people hating those the way they do gender reveals. If the idea of going to a party your friends are hosting is such a horrible burden that you need to complain about it online, I frankly think you need new friends.

 

[ronandannette]

Yep. As adults it wouldn't be an issue but an impressionable child who is trying to find their place in the world can take that parent's reaction all sorts of places.

It would literally be years between the time such a video (or whatever) was made, and the child would be old enough to have any understanding of it. How would they even ever see it?