Girl Scout Drama - 1 week in!

[Bianca and Bernard]

We're new in town, so I thought I'd sign my two older girls up for GS. Within a couple of hours of registering them on the website, I got information from my oldest's troop leader. First meeting is in the books, and she's happy. Everything is going really well.

After a few days, I contacted the council about my middle daughter's Daisy troop because I hadn't heard anything. They gave me her contact info, so I sent an email. I got a reply a day later saying that they'd added a bunch of new girls, she'd just had a baby, had a slow start...etc.

So tonight I get an email with information about the first meeting for this troop and at the bottom I find this lovely bunch of loveliness...

Our Troop is a first year Brownie Troop and the curriculum is intended for 2nd grade girls. If you've been placed in our troop by accident because your daughter is older or younger than this let me know and I will work with getting you pointed towards the right age group.

Are you freaking kidding me? All this time and frustration and she's not even in the right troop? How does this happen exactly? Honestly though, I have to admit that I'm kind of glad we're not in this woman's troop because I can already tell there's going to be drama.

Lord help me come cookie time!

DD#2's first Daisy troop was horrible. The girls were just there for playmates for the "co-leaders". They didn't even sing songs or anything, just played Barbies and house; then the "co-leaders" would get upset about all the girls leaving without cleaning up the toys (knowing parents were picking up at XX time, you would think at 10 minutes 'til, they would have the girls clean up, but no).

Her last GS troop (first Junior year) was worse. We had just moved to the state, and signed her up. Got in a brand new troop that met at the leaders apartment in our complex. Paid the dues, paid for a camping trip, paid for another meeting they were doing at a museum (about $100) at the first meeting. 2nd meeting, cancelled. 3rd meeting, cancelled. 4th meeting and camping trip that weekend, MIA, and no responses from leader/co-leader. 5th meeting MIA. 6th meeting and museum trip, MIA. Apologies from the council and a list of troops in the area (most of whom weren't accepting new scouts as they were full) after the 7th MIA meeting; no response from council when offering to start up the new troop (I did co-leader for her Brownie troop; there were 4 of us and we alternated so no one would burn out; plus I was cookie mom for 2 years for my nieces and 1 year for DD#2), and no refund of the $100 we spent (as council never received the funds...after the leader was arrested for cashing the checks and spending the money, she sent everyone a "so sorry I ruined your kid's experience but I needed money to pay my electric bill and food" email.

No more GS for DD after that.

 

[aprilgail]

Really? I honestly don't know anyone involved with kids' activities that would prefer a phone call. Email, text, and depending on the group, other messaging / social media platforms (GroupMe, for example) are the way everyone communicates. Nobody, and I'm not exaggerating, nobody uses the phone in any activity my kids are in. Actually, that's 100% true for the activities my husband and I are in, too.

I HATE when people call me- I tend to just ignore if they do and I will shoot them a text or email.

 

[firecracker725]

I HATE when people call me- I tend to just ignore if they do and I will shoot them a text or email.

I agree. But at the same time I realize that a lot can be misconstrued via written communication. I got the distinct feeling that the troop leader was annoyed that there were so many new girls in her troop. After I contacted her about the Brownie/Daisy mixup, she was much friendlier, so it could have just been the way it read to me.

 

[MSLRAC]

Oh my word! Tell the story. This should be good.

I'll try to keep this short and sweet...the troop had apparently been running amuck when it came to their finances all year but it didn't come to light until the end of the year.

The leaders had manipulated cookie and nut sales to make their daughters top sellers. They then awarded their daughters 'scholarship' money from the troop to the tune of $2500 each while giving all the other girls participation patches and pencils that came from the service unit. They also told the parents that the girls had earned certain petal and Journey patches and those could be purchased at the SU store (while their girls were sporting decked out vests). That did not go over well at all with the other parents.

Then they claimed on their end of the year financial report that the troop lost money on the cookie sale. That's not going to go over well with any service unit when they know the troop sold so many cases of cookies that they had to rent a U-Haul truck to pick up their initial order.

The troop was audited and it came out that parents had also been roped into doing other unauthorized fundraiser...doughnut, coupon book, and tumbler sales and spaghetti dinners. The leaders had split all the profits from those while telling the other parents the money was for supplies...including petals and patches.

They were taking craft supplies from the church where they met each week and those spaghetti dinner fundraisers were supplied by the churches food pantry.

They were also running their MLM side business money through the troop account which was apparently some sort of fraud and that's ultimately what got them banned.

 

[CarolAnn856]

I agree. But at the same time I realize that a lot can be misconstrued via written communication. I got the distinct feeling that the troop leader was annoyed that there were so many new girls in her troop. After I contacted her about the Brownie/Daisy mixup, she was much friendlier, so it could have just been the way it read to me.

I do think that's the case, given what you copied from her email in your first post. It's direct, but nothing beyond that. And if there was frustration on her part, I can guarantee it was directed at Council, not you or other new Daisy moms. As you said, it looks like she was given more girls than she should have been given, she just had a baby, and she's trying to get her troop up and running. I'm glad you talked to her and are getting it worked out.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Really? I honestly don't know anyone involved with kids' activities that would prefer a phone call. Email, text, and depending on the group, other messaging / social media platforms (GroupMe, for example) are the way everyone communicates. Nobody, and I'm not exaggerating, nobody uses the phone in any activity my kids are in. Actually, that's 100% true for the activities my husband and I are in, too.

I SAID former Leader. I prefer text and calling to email because I hate email.

 

[VandVsmama]

We're new in town, so I thought I'd sign my two older girls up for GS. Within a couple of hours of registering them on the website, I got information from my oldest's troop leader. First meeting is in the books, and she's happy. Everything is going really well.

After a few days, I contacted the council about my middle daughter's Daisy troop because I hadn't heard anything. They gave me her contact info, so I sent an email. I got a reply a day later saying that they'd added a bunch of new girls, she'd just had a baby, had a slow start...etc.

So tonight I get an email with information about the first meeting for this troop and at the bottom I find this lovely bunch of loveliness...

Our Troop is a first year Brownie Troop and the curriculum is intended for 2nd grade girls. If you've been placed in our troop by accident because your daughter is older or younger than this let me know and I will work with getting you pointed towards the right age group.

Are you freaking kidding me? All this time and frustration and she's not even in the right troop? How does this happen exactly? Honestly though, I have to admit that I'm kind of glad we're not in this woman's troop because I can already tell there's going to be drama.

Lord help me come cookie time!

Drama? Definitely sounds like there's a lot of potential for drama with that troop! I would have been really annoyed if after all of the signing up my kid and everything and getting assigned to a troop, you find out that it's not even the right troop because it's limited to kids in only one particular grade level.

...which is really dumb, in my opinion. Isn't Brownies supposed to be for a range of grade levels/ages?

When my ODD was younger, I fell to peer pressure from a friend and signed ODD up for Girl Scouts. It was a brownie troop. Big mistake. I was told that the troop meetings would be after 5pm (which I needed since I work full time outside the home). At the first meeting, the very first order of business was to reschedule the troop meetings to earlier in the day. Plus I was asked to be coleader of the troop and cookie mom. So I said no thanks and unenrolled ODD in Girl Scouts and we never looked back. We had the kids do other activities instead.

I hope that your daughter can get into a troop that has spaces available for kids her age!

 

[NHdisneylover]

Drama? Definitely sounds like there's a lot of potential for drama with that troop! I would have been really annoyed if after all of the signing up my kid and everything and getting assigned to a troop, you find out that it's not even the right troop because it's limited to kids in only one particular grade level.

...which is really dumb, in my opinion. Isn't Brownies supposed to be for a range of grade levels/ages?

When my ODD was younger, I fell to peer pressure from a friend and signed ODD up for Girl Scouts. It was a brownie troop. Big mistake. I was told that the troop meetings would be after 5pm (which I needed since I work full time outside the home). At the first meeting, the very first order of business was to reschedule the troop meetings to earlier in the day. Plus I was asked to be coleader of the troop and cookie mom. So I said no thanks and unenrolled ODD in Girl Scouts and we never looked back. We had the kids do other activities instead.

I hope that your daughter can get into a troop that has spaces available for kids her age!

Just to answer the grade level issue, everythign changed a couple of years ago. Now Brownies is limited to grades 2-3. Daisies is K-1. The new computerized system (when working) makes it really easy for even a very inexeperienced ledader to plan meetings for a single age level--it will basically write meeting plans for you (based on samples I have seen). Speaking as someone leading a troop of 4 different levels (we have Daisies, Brownies, Juniors and Seniors) it takes tons of planning and work to find ways to have multiple levels earning badges while working on the same things or at least related things in a space. I really wish we had enough girls and leaders and space to have single level troops.

 

[CarolAnn856]

Drama? Definitely sounds like there's a lot of potential for drama with that troop! I would have been really annoyed if after all of the signing up my kid and everything and getting assigned to a troop, you find out that it's not even the right troop because it's limited to kids in only one particular grade level.

...which is really dumb, in my opinion. Isn't Brownies supposed to be for a range of grade levels/ages?

When my ODD was younger, I fell to peer pressure from a friend and signed ODD up for Girl Scouts. It was a brownie troop. Big mistake. I was told that the troop meetings would be after 5pm (which I needed since I work full time outside the home). At the first meeting, the very first order of business was to reschedule the troop meetings to earlier in the day. Plus I was asked to be coleader of the troop and cookie mom. So I said no thanks and unenrolled ODD in Girl Scouts and we never looked back. We had the kids do other activities instead.

I hope that your daughter can get into a troop that has spaces available for kids her age!

My daughter is in high school and GS troops were been split by ages in our Council well before she started kindergarten. A leader following the age guidelines certainly isn't any reason to assume that there will be drama.

As for your experience, it's possible that a previous leader had 5:00 meetings, but a new leader - who is a volunteer - needed to chsnge the time. I'm not sure why asking you to help out would have you running for the hills instead of just saying "I'm sorry, I can't, but I would be happy to support the troop in other ways," but I'm glad your kids found activities that work for you.

 

[mom2rtk]

I am not a fan of email, to be honest. I prefer calling with most things. I always assume email goes to never never land. I am surprised you actually GOT a response. I see no drama here really either.

My husband was a Cub Scout den leader and rec league sports coach for many years for many groups, before everyone could reliably be reached by email. You have NO IDEA how much time of his was sucked up making call after call after call to parents. If I was a leader today, there is zero chance I would be contacting people by phone. It's hard enough to volunteer your time for meeting/practice prep and the meetings, practices and games themselves. The phone calls were just .

 

[VandVsmama]

My daughter is in high school and GS troops were been split by ages in our Council well before she started kindergarten. A leader following the age guidelines certainly isn't any reason to assume that there will be drama.

As for your experience, it's possible that a previous leader had 5:00 meetings, but a new leader - who is a volunteer - needed to chsnge the time. I'm not sure why asking you to help out would have you running for the hills instead of just saying "I'm sorry, I can't, but I would be happy to support the troop in other ways," but I'm glad your kids found activities that work for you.

They were changing the meeting times to be at 3:30 in the afternoon and meeting location was not at my daughter's school. Logistically, there was just no possible way for me to get her there to the meeting on time when both DH & I had to work full time and there was no one else (yes, even other parents, because I asked) willing to pick her up from the after school program, take her to the meeting, and then watch her at their house until 5:30-6:00 pm when I could get there to pick her up.

It would have been a logistical nightmare.

In the first meeting, before they started discussing the topic of changing the meeting time, they asked for volunteers. At first, they asked for somebody to go to the cookie orientation meeting. I said ok, that I would do that if it just meant going to the cookie orientation and presenting the info to the other parents for whoever was going to be the "Cookie Mom." But then the leader changed her tune and said that whoever goes to the cookie orientation IS the Cookie Mom. And I knew how much time that would take based on what a friend of mine had told me about her yearly experiences being the cookie mom for her kids' troops. I also knew based on what my job was at the time that there was no way I would be able to spend that much time on consecutive weekends for such a long period of time coordinating cookie sales (again, based on my friend's detailed description of the work & time involved from her being a Cookie Mom for almost 6 years).

 

[clh2]

As a former cookie mom, troop leader, camp volunteer, and volunteer on "cookie day", my only response was : if you don't like how things are running, Girl Scouts is always looking for volunteers!

 

[RangerPooh]

Former troop leader, current troop volunteer, past service unit cookie manager, current troop cookie manager, current service unit fall product manager here...

Keep in mind that this is recruiting season for troops. Depending on how big your Service Unit is there may be few troops that have spots available right now. Plus the new online registration system is notorious for glitches. Our recruiting coordinator (a volunteer position and leads two GS and one cub scout troop as well) is easily spending 15 hours per week on registration alone. From attending recruitment events to contacting parents and leaders to see who can take additional girls. Leaders are volunteers, when they reach the number that they feel comfortable with they stop accepting new girls. It could be possible that your daughter was placed into what had previously been a multi-level troop but it now only 2nd grade Brownies. Having led a multi-level troop for years I will say that one grade is much easier on the volunteer leader. The best thing to do is remain patient. If another week goes by and you still do not hear back then contact the service unit or council and ask for an update.

FYI- If you're transferring to a troop in a new community like we did then it's going to be a bumpy road! Prior to even moving across the country both DH and I contacted our new Council about being connected to a new troop. It was an ordeal in itself. Phone calls and emails going unanswered and finally when I did hear back they told me to contact troop leaders to see if they'd take my girls. And of course those who actually returned my inquiries were full or the wrong levels. The one that we did get connected too (was not ideal by any means) submitted our transfer paperwork with took 3 months to be processed! And was discovered only because cookie sales were about to start. The following year we were able to transfer to a MUCH better troop in the same council and due to the online registration system took another 5 months to process and was only fixed because of cookie sales.

 

[RangerPooh]

That sounds like one of the former leaders in my old service unit. Apparently she cashed out the troops cookie and nut profits and ran away wit the money. Used it to pay bills and then skipped town. Every year I seem to hear about a leader (somewhere) doing this. Just isn't right.

 

[Magpie]

I SAID former Leader. I prefer text and calling to email because I hate email.

I strongly prefer email over phone, because with email there's a clear written record of who was told what, and when. As a sender, you can even set it up to alert you when the email has been opened (and hopefully read). While "tone" can indeed be hard to read in an email, that's easily solved by always assuming good intentions on the other person's part.

When it comes to communications "disappearing into the void", telephone is the clear winner in my opinion. "You never called me." "I gave you that information on the phone!" "I never told you that." "But you said...!" "I called three times and you were never home!" etc.

 

[tnkr_bell]

Um, if you think this is Girl Scout drama, you have a looonnnng road ahead of you. When my oldest (now 22) was in scouting, we had a troop of mixed ages, which worked for us. But I've noticed that, since my scouting days back in the Stone Age, troops are much more likely to be a single age these days. I think there are advantages to both. I don't think this leader or the council are doing anything unusual or out of line here.

As for actual drama, some troops just seem to attract it. Lord help the mom who gets in a troop of girls whose moms want scouting on their college applications. IME, those tend to be clique-y, Mom-focused, and all about who you know--Troop Snowflake, as opposed to working on developing skills, helping the community, and so forth.

This is the type of troop I just took my daughter out of. The mom wants her kid to be able to get scholarships for college, so she counted things like PE in school and playing a sport as "earning" the Healthy Lifestyle patch. My daughter must have earned 20 patches last year. Plus she had no patience for the girls being silly, running around, or being noisy and was always yelling at them. We're doing our own thing this year.