Dear Divas,
Obviously the last two weeks has been a trying time within our group. Things have been said, feelings have been hurt and relationships have been damaged. Apologies have been made on the thread and personally by some of those involved, but it seems that many people (myself included) are still hurting due to the divide that has formed within the group.
We are at a crossroad and the choices we make right now will affect the entire future of the Divas. Thus, with your support I would like to ask for a DIVA DO OVER and a chance for our group to start anew, beginning with a new thread and another shot at selecting the dates for next year’s Annual Trip. I believe that there is a better way of selecting a trip date that is more inclusive and conscious of people’s legitimate scheduling conflicts.
Many of you know that I advise sororities and fraternities as my professional job. What you may not know is that a lot of what that entails is comprised of event planning & coordination responsibilities, managing group dynamics, and conflict management/mediation training. I also spend a good bit of time doing assessment of events and services that my staff and student provide. So, when I found myself thinking through the crisis that our group is facing from my professional lense, I realized that it wasn’t the voting process that was flawed but rather the data that we collected was not what we needed in order to make an informed decision.
Each of us was asked to vote for their favorite of four sets of dates based on the general timeframe that had been established 3 years ago as Diva Annual Trip time. And, many of us took it exactly that way—vote for the one that works best for you. But, because it was a public poll you got to see exactly what the vote count was , and you may have been swayed to vote for the one that you liked best that also appeared to have a reasonable shot at winning. Or, you may have felt that you needed to vote a certain way because of friends within the group who particularly wanted one date or another.
With a group of over 50 women that have attended at least 1 of the previous three trips it is nearly impossible to find a time that everyone wants to go because of all of the personal variables (some like it to be cooler, others want the trip to be when it’s warmer, etc.) However, we should be able to find a time when as many Divas as possible are free to attend, whether or not it’s their top preference time for the trip.
That being said, what we really should have been asking is “when can you go on the trip?” or more importantly asking the inverse—“when can’t you go?”
In an effort of goodwill and trying to make our Annual Meet as amazing as it has been in the past 3 years, I am asking that we abandon both the currently set Annual Trip and the F&W Mini Meet/Alternate Trip & try again to set a date when a majority can attend using the following process.
I have provided a list of the 11 potential trip dates starting in mid February and running until the end of April at the end of this message. Please review the list carefully and PM or FB message me a copy of the list with only the dates that you absolutely CANNOT attend marked as NO. In order to make this work we need to be open to dates that may not be your first preference but when you could attend if that is the best time for the group as a whole.
For example I do not prefer to attend over President’s Day due to high crowds, but if that is the best date for the group I could attend, so I would not mark the set of dates from Feb. 17-21 as a No. But, I have a mandatory work event during the dates April 14-18, and I cannot attend over Easter due to family commitments, so I would mark both of those choices as a NO.
Each Diva and Friends of Divas/Diva Moms who have previously attended at least one Annual Trip gets to submit their dates to me privately by 8:00 am next Sunday morning. As everyone submits their availability, I will transfer it all into a spreadsheet with the dates listed across the top and each Diva’s name running down the side. The column that ends up with the least amount of NO votes would win. In the case of a tie between more than one date with an equal number of Divas available to attend, we would then have a conversation regarding the pros and cons of each option.
I realize that the chance of finding a time that every single Diva is available to attend is very unlikely. But, I think we can and should do better than we did in our first shot at picking dates for next year. We are not contestants on Survivor who need to Outwit, Outlast and Outplay one another as we build our coalitions and strive to make it to the winner’s circle. We are Divas—we are classy, mature and amazing women who came together to build each other up, not tear each other down.
I also recognize that some people are feeling that they no longer want to be a part of this group, and as much I will personally miss you, I respect your choice to walk away if the Diva experience no longer makes you happy. But, I do ask that if you are walking away that you are doing so of your own accord because you no longer want to be a part of the group. And, I also ask that you do not judge those Divas who want to still make a go of the group.
I have been tossing this idea around in my head for the past several days and I do not come to you with this proposal lightly. I recognize that by doing this I may now become the proverbial bad guy in the group, and this is risk I’m willing to take. However, you should know that I have floated this idea out to a preliminary focus group of Divas including some who have been involved in some of the ugliness and misunderstandings of the past 14 day. I am happy to say that I have garnered all of their support in terms of a willingness to mend fences, build bridges and move on. Hopefully, this can be the start of something new.
Diva Love,
Jane
Feb. 3-7 (Chinese New Year)
Feb. 10-14 (Valentine’s Day)
Feb. 17-21 (President’s Day)
Feb 24-28
March 3-7
March 10-14 (Daylight Savings)
March 17-21 (St. Patrick’s Day)
March 24-28
March 31-April 4
April 7-11
April 14-18 (Palm Sunday)
April 21-24 (Easter & Passover)
April 28-May 2
, but you can request a team that's more laid back if that's not your style. We have a committee that works on the hunt each year and as it gets closer sign ups will start for that and they will break us into teams. 
It is not an organized tour group, which means that you are free to come and go as you please. You can stay all five days or which ever days work best for you. There is a schedule but that's only a guide and no one is required to do anything they don't feel like doing. 
