Graduation Decorum Rant

[Christine]

My son just graduated a few weeks ago. They had about 1,000 kids to get through and I was SUPER impressed by the decorum displayed. OP, I'm not disagreeing with you. I was expecting the worst because I've seen it too many times, but I was surprised at how well behaved everyone was. Not antics from the grads on stage, nothing much to speak of from the families. One family did have one of those things that makes a super-loud noise (I hear it at sporting events and don't know what it is). I darn near came out of my seat but it was over with in a flash and that sat down and were quiet.

 

[amberpi]

I leaned over to my wife and said, "We had to sit through your kid butcher their three songs - they should have to sit through ours butcher his!"

At little kid dance recitals I don't even know which kid is doing the choreography. It's cute as hell, but what is even going on?

 

[ronandannette]

Contrast that to my nephew's graduation from high school on Friday night from a Christian school with a class of 19 students in a church. He had 30 family members present for his graduation and the church was full of other family and friends of the other graduates. We all noticed and remarked how much more dignified and enjoyable the graduation was simply because the "crowd" was polite and considerate. (The ceremony itself was much like my other experiences in design and format.) My brother and sister who have younger children joked that they would start sending their kids to private school just for the respectful graduation.

Sounds very similar to our DS’s grad. There were a few more students (graduating class of 60-something) and the ceremony was open to anyone who wanted to attend. The church sanctuary held 400 or so. The ceremony was very joyful and upbeat with about a 30 second personal address to each graduate by the principal when they walked. Nobody’s family hooted or hollered, nor did any of the graduates cartwheel or strut or whatever. I’ve actually never been to the kind of grad ceremony the OP described but I would hate it, I think.

 

[cabanafrau]

There were a few problem families at our daughters' HS graduations whose behavior resulted in some other kids' families being completely unable to hear their kids' names. A couple times the speaker at the time caught it and attempted to wait it out, a couple times another speaker didn't. It was such a shame and caused a lot of anger. When our oldest received her bachelor's it was in an arena at the university and there was a lot said, printed and on the electronic boards around the arena about avoiding that behavior. Given the size of the crowd I had very low expectations. Surprisingly families seemed to have gotten the message. There was however a problem whenever graduates from a specific fraternity or sorority were called. Wound up causing a lot of tension that I was glad didn't boil over.

 

[SteveH]

Surprisingly families seemed to have gotten the message.

I know at the high school my boys went to the school district and all the high schools has said they will eject people for certain thing, air horns and other noise makers. My understanding was that 2 years before my oldest graduated they did it remove some from two of the high schools. Since then people seem to behaving themselves and know that the district will do what they said they will do.

 

[DISNEYSQUIRRELS]

So very rude & tacky, I am screaming swear words in my head about what you described, especially these savages getting up & leaving in the middle of the ceremony

 

[mummabear]

That's the one that got to me last week - I noticed two or three families get up and leave after their kids were done (along with their children) with their part of a middle school concert. Keep in mind, the whole concert wasn't more than about 45 minutes.

I leaned over to my wife and said, "We had to sit through your kid butcher their three songs - they should have to sit through ours butcher his!"

Circumstances can really depend on whether it is ok or not. My daughters dance recital was 3 hours long!
For our youngest she was well bored, had they all not been in the finale we would have left at 1/2 time.

 

[verleniahall]

I know at the high school my boys went to the school district and all the high schools has said they will eject people for certain thing, air horns and other noise makers. My understanding was that 2 years before my oldest graduated they did it remove some from two of the high schools. Since then people seem to behaving themselves and know that the district will do what they said they will do.

They told us about that for ours about that Silly String stuff - it would stick and dry to the mats they used to cover the gym floor and anyone who used it would be coming in on Monday to clean it up - and sure enough - the WHOLE football team did it, and they were in on Monday to clean the mats! (they came up to the principal afterwards and turned themselves in)

 

[kimblebee]

Sounds very similar to our DS’s grad. There were a few more students (graduating class of 60-something) and the ceremony was open to anyone who wanted to attend. The church sanctuary held 400 or so. The ceremony was very joyful and upbeat with about a 30 second personal address to each graduate by the principal when they walked. Nobody’s family hooted or hollered, nor did any of the graduates cartwheel or strut or whatever. I’ve actually never been to the kind of grad ceremony the OP described but I would hate it, I think.

My daughters HS convocation is at the end of June and I don’t expect to see any of these antics either.

I can’t imagine how embarrassing it would be for the student. I would have disowned my family if they had stood up and cheered. Cowbells? Air horns?

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

High School Graduation is this wednesday weather permitting - otherwise it gets moved to Thursday. The High School has already sent out notices that no loud noise objects will be permitted. I have no idea how they would police that when we'll be in grandstands and there are over 800 students.

When my son graduated they told everyone who had balloons that they had to sit at the top of the Grandstand to not block any one elses views and even had someone walking up and down telling people that if they had a balloon. They also sent out notice about no loud noisemakers. Everyone was respectful and polite and you could hear all the graduates names. That was 4 years ago.

I'm expecting this years to be bedlam. I'm buying the DVD just so I can see my daughter graduate and hear her name since they record close up and I'm sure I won't be able to hear a thing in the stands with folks ignoring the instructions. They have ignored instructions at every other thing at thing at the High School this year that I attended.
I'll be pleasantly surprised if we have a polite group of spectators.

 

[SteveH]

They told us about that for ours about that Silly String stuff - it would stick and dry to the mats they used to cover the gym floor and anyone who used it would be coming in on Monday to clean it up - and sure enough - the WHOLE football team did it, and they were in on Monday to clean the mats! (they came up to the principal afterwards and turned themselves in)

Hey at least they owned it and cleaned up!

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

They told us about that for ours about that Silly String stuff - it would stick and dry to the mats they used to cover the gym floor and anyone who used it would be coming in on Monday to clean it up - and sure enough - the WHOLE football team did it, and they were in on Monday to clean the mats! (they came up to the principal afterwards and turned themselves in)

They use to tell us that we would end up in detention if we misbehaved.

One of the students let the administration know that after we graduated, we would no longer be students and detention would be a joke. The administrator got kind of flustered and told everyone, "Just behave."

 

[verleniahall]

They use to tell us that we would end up in detention if we misbehaved.

One of the students let the administration know that after we graduated, we would no longer be students and detention would be a joke. The administrator got kind of flustered and told everyone, "Just behave."

Some of the guys had detention left to serve - they received empty holders and had to serve out their detention to receive them - our school didn't joke around with it and those guys knew it

And if THEY hadnt' turned themselves in - I was going to; I was was also the one to turn in underage parties and drinking and served on Teen/Youth Court as a Juror

 

[SteveH]

They use to tell us that we would end up in detention if we misbehaved.

One of the students let the administration know that after we graduated, we would no longer be students and detention would be a joke. The administrator got kind of flustered and told everyone, "Just behave."

Our's reminded us that we had to pick up our diploma the next week, they could/would/did withhold it for some students.

 

[SteveH]

So very rude & tacky, I am screaming swear words in my head about what you described, especially these savages getting up & leaving in the middle of the ceremony

Trust me I had some choice thoughts in my mind, instead I just sat there shaking my head.

 

[mousehockey37]

OK... too late.

1. People who talk during the concert. SHUT UP! IT'S A MUSIC CONCERT!
2. People who yell or call out their child's name after a solo.
3. People who wave at their student when they are getting on stage. Your child should not be waving back, they should be getting ready to play their instrument.
4. USING FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY.
5. Getting up in the middle of the concert because your child is done with their portion of the concert.

I was a band director. I had the scores memorized. When parents tried to do things, they got a glare from a guy who's back was turned to them, all while he didn't miss a thing with the kids. It was always a good time.

 

[AuntieMe3]

My daughters graduation was done at another school gym since her school didn't have a space big enough for the ceremony. The audio was so terrible you could hardly make out what any of the speakers were saying...including my daughter who had a speech. But what made it worse was the large family sitting next to us who talked the entire ceremony!! The small children in the group were better behaved than the adults. I was so mad!!

And worse yet, after the ceremony, a mother and father(I'm assuming divorced or separated) got into a physical alteration while everyone was trying to take photos....I felt so terrible for the poor graduate.

 

[gotomu212]

We had no doubt that if we ever waived back, our choir director would skin us alive.

My son’s school started something a few years back. They have all the kids file in and then the director says “okay now”, all the kids smile and wave, and then the performance starts. It’s actually really adorable even when it’s the high school kids to see them all smile and wave and it eliminates all the sly side waves.

 

[msjprincess]

That's the one that got to me last week - I noticed two or three families get up and leave after their kids were done (along with their children) with their part of a middle school concert. Keep in mind, the whole concert wasn't more than about 45 minutes.

I leaned over to my wife and said, "We had to sit through your kid butcher their three songs - they should have to sit through ours butcher his!"

That happens at our middle school concerts every year and it drives me crazy.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

Ha, several kids' families at my high school graduation blew air horns when their names were called. #Klassy (ok, this was long before hashtags were a thing, but still)