Help needed—Senior Citizen money issues

[4kids4karen]

Replying to the elderly comment only. No idea the percentage. My mom was 90 when when she moved into a RCFFE.....and there was a guy who was 61 there with Alzheimers.

My neighbor is 92. Wife is a few years younger. One of their daughters just passed away. She had early onset Alzheimers and moved to our area for a experimental program that probably did exend her life some. She was renting a home down the street. She was in her mid-60's.

 

[barkley]

i suggested an elder law attorney b/c they generally have the greatest/most current knowledge and expertise in dealing with issues that ideally most people don't have to deal with until later in life (social security, medicare, medicaid, survivor's pensions....). as far as defining 'elderly'-60 is the magic age wherein you are protected under elder abuse statutes and someone can call adult protective services to evaluate your living situation.

 

[jen7233]

She owns the house, mortgage free. But, other debt, taxes, insurance, upkeep will be a chore. She is 64 and the house is on a large lot, over 1/2 acre with lots of mowing and landscaping. Probably too much for her long term and we live 90 miles away, so not just a quick drive over either.

Lots of good and useful information here and places for us to start. I appreciate it.

OP, glad you got some good starting ideas! There is no such one "best advice in the thread", everyone gave opinions from different walks of life and experience and hope for your MIL she can get whatever help she needs!

 

[tvguy]

Start asking for it! Lots of places offer senior discounts at age 55! For auto insurance, depending on the state, the mature driver discount and senior defensive driving credit is age 55!

When I was in Vegas, I saw senior discounts at age 55 up and down the strip. My spoue will be 59 this year and he has the mature defensive driving credit on our auto policy.

Wish I could get an auto insurance discount! Voters banned discounts because they discriminated against others!

 

[tvguy]

My neighbor is 92. Wife is a few years younger. One of their daughters just passed away. She had early onset Alzheimers and moved to our area for a experimental program that probably did exend her life some. She was renting a home down the street. She was in her mid-60's.

My mom spent the last 13 months of her life in the hospital, rehab center and the biggest portion in a Residential Care Facility For The Elderly. She was 88-90, and the youngest at that last facility. I got a lot of comments in all three because I visited her every day. So many elderly people have no relatives in the area, or have outlived them. At the Care Facility, 2 ladies had children that had died from old age.

 

[Nebraska_Disney]

I didn’t know I’d throw off my entire thread with one word...instead of “elderly” would “senior citizen” make the world happier?

Dug into a little more today and not good news. Will be on the phone Monday digging more. The suggestions provided have been great, thanks.

 

[punkin]

I am retired Air Force Human Resources. My husband is also retired Air Force, and has been a DoD Civilian for about 13 years. I already told DH when I pass away, to hire an attorney familiar with Veteran and Federal benefits. It's just way too much to keep up with and there are so many rules, etc. I buried my son last June and he didn't have an estate or assets and that wast still a lot of stress.

She will be best served and ensure no benefits are overlooked by having an attorney. If he didn't leave a will, and depending on the state, things may need to go through probate anyways.

I am sorry about your son.

 

[tvguy]

I didn’t know I’d throw off my entire thread with one word...instead of “elderly” would “senior citizen” make the world happier?

They are the same thing to me.

 

[davper]

You need to get facts before you can make any decision. Running around that the sky is falling without knowing if it actually is will only cause you unnecessary stress.
A mountain of debt can be $5,000 to a person who has never paid a bill.
Private pensions are required to provide benefits to a surviving spouse.
All paperwork needs to be gone through to see if there is any life insurance and to locate all assets.

because death can be sudden and unexpected, I have a notebook filled with all important documents and shrink wrapped. I gave one to my wife and one to my sister. They are to open it should anything happen to me. It contains a letter of how to proceed through the next few months, a will, detailed list of all assets of value, life insurance, and contact numbers. Everyone should have this. I call it the 'Honey, I love you binder'.

 

[Southernmiss]

How about "Need help with widowed MIL's finances". Whole different connotation there than senior and elderly.

Even in Nebraska, the Senior Care Directory website does not define 64 as elderly. Ages 16 to 64 are working aged.

MIght be some good info for OP here. https://www.seniorcare.com/directory/ne/

 

[Ciao Mickey]

I didn’t know I’d throw off my entire thread with one word...instead of “elderly” would “senior citizen” make the world happier?

Dug into a little more today and not good news. Will be on the phone Monday digging more. The suggestions provided have been great, thanks.

When your FIL filed his paperwork for retirement, your MIL would have had to sign and have notarized what she was entitled and agreed to receive from his annuity.

Maybe you can ask her and it will jog her memory.

My husband has two different pensions and I have a FERS annuity and we both had to sign and notarize paperwork each time.

 

[tvguy]

How about "Need help with widowed MIL's finances". Whole different connotation there than senior and elderly.

Even in Nebraska, the Senior Care Directory website does not define 64 as elderly. Ages 16 to 64 are working aged.

MIght be some good info for OP here. https://www.seniorcare.com/directory/ne/

LOL. This article kind of shows the differences of definition. Free elderly tax help for the elderly starts at age 60 from the IRS. Age 55 if you live in Hawaii. Some consider anything over 40 elderly since you are past midlife! Many Golden Handshake offers from employers start at age 55. And in California, many state agencies set retirement at 30 years service and age 55!

https://www.npr.org/2013/03/12/174124992/an-age-old-problem-who-is-elderly

 

[Southernmiss]

LOL. This article kind of shows the differences of definition. Free elderly tax help for the elderly starts at age 60 from the IRS. Age 55 if you live in Hawaii. Some consider anything over 40 elderly since you are past midlife! Many Golden Handshake offers from employers start at age 55. And in California, many state agencies set retirement at 30 years service and age 55!

https://www.npr.org/2013/03/12/174124992/an-age-old-problem-who-is-elderly

Yep. Read that article yesterday.

 

[robinb]

My father in law just passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. Just today, my wife was talking with her mom and learned their finances are in a shambles and she has never been involved with anything and is lost. She now finds herself a widow, owns her house, and a mountain of debt. At this point, how big that mountain is is not known to me or my wife, but we are guessing it could be $100K. Her house is worth about $180K and she works PT at a fast food place. It is not known yet if my FIL’s pension will continue to my MIL or not. The big question is, how does she deal with the debt? Options, such as bankruptcy? Anyone go through something similar?

A very similar thing happen to my mother over 10 years ago. My mom was in her late 60's, her partner died and she was in the hospital in a coma. She eventually woke from her coma but by then I know the how much in over her head she was. She owned her house free and clear (or so I thought, but that's a different conversation), she had over $70K in mostly credit card debt, she was late on her taxes and hadn't paid her utilities in months. I stepped in to sort things out with a handy-dandy power of attorney. Her partner's social security and VA went to servicing the debt and they lived on her SS and VA. Now that he was gone there was no way she could afford to go on. I contacted an attorney in Chicago who provided free advise to elderly people and I took her advise. I know this won't go over for most people, but I quit paying the credit cards cold turkey. One company sued her and received a judgment but none of the other credit cards did anything except send bills and then offers to settle. I contacted the city assessor's office and the utilities and arranged payment plans. I spent hours on spreadsheets that worked her out of arrears and also saved money in escrow for the next year's taxes so they could be paid when they were due. I did this primarily by opening up another account connected to her bank account and paid the bills first and then transferred the remaining money to the account that she (and my sister who was living with her) had access to.

We DID NOT sell the house. That would have left her no where to live and no money to live on. I was able to work her out of all of the past due utilities and taxes and at the end I was paying her current bills and saving for her property taxes for the next year.

When she died all of her debts, including the ones I stopped paying, essentially came due to be paid by the estate. I hired a shark of a probate attorney who told the credit card companies and everyone else with their hands out to go pound sand. They were all welcome to sue us through the probate court but none of the chose to do so. My attorney negotiated with the company with the judgement and they settled for 50% of what was owed to them. We sold the house (and found out in the process that my uncle's family actually owned half of it) which was in very poor condition but that meant there was a little money left in the estate after paying off the remaining regular bills and the judgement. More to the point, my mom was able to stay in her house until she died.

 

[wishuponastar1984]

I don't have much advice for the original poster but this should serve as a reminder that we should all be checking in with older parents finances, especially if one person is not part of the finance mechanics of the couple. I was so grateful that about 10 years ago I got involved and made sure I understood their finances and knew where all relevant paperwork was stored. Dad is now deceased and I don't act as a gatekeeper per se but I did move all their money to the same bank as me and am now a cosigner so when I log into my account I can browse hers as well. This allows me to make sure things are chugging along and she isn't sending large sums of money to televangelists or other flim-flam men. Also understanding the finances made the process so much easier when dad died. I didn't have to go prying, digging and guessing through the paperwork. We just had calm rational conversations. Now I am able to help my mom and pay most of her bills online.