Hi There,
As a former flight attendant for People Express Airlines in my younger days, the trick with the cups DOES work!! Here's what you do:
1. Get 2 hot liquid disposable cups (the ones used for coffee)
2. Take paper towels and fold them into small squares that will fit completely in the bottom of the cups. They should be several layers thick when folded (to hold the water when saturated).
3. Fill with VERY WARM, not hot, water. Water should not be hot enough to cause scalding if it comes in contact with your skin.
4. Pour the VERY WARM water into the cups until the paper towels are saturated. You don't want too much water that will run out of the towels and onto your ears. Just enough to fully saturate the towels.
5. Then, place both cups over your ears, with the saturated towels inside them, and hold firmly. Do this before take off, during the climb to cruise altitude, and during the decent. You might look funny, but the warm water in the cups creates a different air pressure that helps balance inner ear pressure (at the middle ear) with outer ear pressure that is in the cabin.
The decongestant is also a good idea. I prefer Sudafed because its non-drowsy and easily assimilated. You may want to do both. That way, you'll be sure of having a more comfortable flight.
Also, be sure to move around during the cabin. Get up and out of your seat. Have you been reading about the sudden deaths of otherwise healthy people who developed fatal blood clots as a result of being too sedentary during flight? This is entirely avoidable.