Here we go again. Trip less then 2 weeks now on the line

[Dznypal]

We have a DVC stay booked for the 1/23. On 1/4. DH had to have an unstructef kidney stone taken out. Everything went good.
Dr said to come back either the Thurs before or after the trip.
Now he’s having a little discomfort yet he’s supposed to sub for a class the whole week before we go and have a meeting at church the night before
Yet our trip is in limbo
Because of the discomfort. I told him to call the dr. He said he’d call tomorrow. I told him to call today why wait
Yet he’s not saying anything about canceling any of those things
Now things are changing dr is now saying he’ll take out the stint when he takes care of the other stones. Which means now he’ll have the stint in on the trip and like I said earlier hrs having discomfort
The way it sounded before he’d take the stunt out and a little later work on the rest.
And of course I’m the one that will have to cancel and maybe rebook which isn’t always the easiest
With how this is going I really feel like a second banana. The subbing and meeting seem to come before our trip Thst we planned a year ago.
Yet if I bring anything up about it. I’m the bad one so I usually just crawl in my shell

And this isn’t the first time trips have gotten messed up. We went on the British isles cruise. About a week before he noticed it was going to be 90 degrees in London. He doesn’t do well in heat. So I had to listen to him complain about that we it should have been a fun getting ready.
Oh well sorry for rambling I tend to do that when I’m worked up thanks for listening

 

[focusondisney]

We have a DVC stay booked for the 1/23. On 1/4. DH had to have an unstructef kidney stone taken out. Everything went good.
Dr said to come back either the Thurs before or after the trip.
Now he’s having a little discomfort yet he’s supposed to sub for a class the whole week before we go and have a meeting at church the night before
Yet our trip is in limbo
Because of the discomfort. I told him to call the dr. He said he’d call tomorrow. I told him to call today why wait
Yet he’s not saying anything about canceling any of those things
Now things are changing dr is now saying he’ll take out the stint when he takes care of the other stones. Which means now he’ll have the stint in on the trip and like I said earlier hrs having discomfort
The way it sounded before he’d take the stunt out and a little later work on the rest.
And of course I’m the one that will have to cancel and maybe rebook which isn’t always the easiest
With how this is going I really feel like a second banana. The subbing and meeting seem to come before our trip Thst we planned a year ago.
Yet if I bring anything up about it. I’m the bad one so I usually just crawl in my shell

And this isn’t the first time trips have gotten messed up. We went on the British isles cruise. About a week before he noticed it was going to be 90 degrees in London. He doesn’t do well in heat. So I had to listen to him complain about that we it should have been a fun getting ready.
Oh well sorry for rambling I tend to do that when I’m worked up thanks for listening

Ugh, so sorry, for your husbands medical issues & the way he seems to undervalue your feelings. I’m sure you don’t need advice but just this

 

[Dznypal]

Thanks for the hugs. I really appreciate

If this was the first time this happened I wouldn’t feel the way I do
One as a surprise I booked a trip to Vegas. Paid for it out of my own little slush fund.
I told him when I gave it to him if he truly didn’t want to go I would rather cancel it then rather then later. He was fine with everything until the night before. Rather then leaving for the airport I was up early waiting for AAA to
Open so I could cancel.
His reason he just didn’t want to go
We’ll see I guess

 

[princesscinderella]

The possibility of having to cancel a trip you were looking forward to is upsetting, hopefully it will all work out over the next week so you can go. I hope your husband feels better with his kidney stones, that pain is intense. As for the Vegas trip where he didn’t want to go, I think I would have went without him if he wanted to be a fuddy duddy.

 

[fla4fun]

As for the Vegas trip where he didn’t want to go, I think I would have went without him if he wanted to be a fuddy duddy.

I would have too. Solo traveling is fun! With so many last minute cancellations, it almost sounds like he dislikes travel for the most part, while the OP enjoys it. Sometimes it’s better to go alone than to go with someone who doesn’t want to be there. Plus, planning solo travel would likely mean fewer last minute cancellations.

I give him a little more grace when it comes to medical issues though. He may feel obligated to others regarding the teaching and meeting, neither of which may be as strenuous as a theme park vacation. It seems like men often push through illness so they don’t look bad in front of others. It is also possible that the doctor may not recommend traveling so far from home anyway, depending on how the recovery is going closer to the departure date.

OP, I hope your husband recovers soon, and that you do not have to reschedule or cancel your trip.

 

[Meriweather]

I sympathize!!

We leave Sunday and DH had chest pains Monday. He spent the night in the hospital.
He has blood clots in his lungs. They put him on a blood thinner. Released him Tuesday and said he could go!!
Last January, I fell and broke my hip and couldn't go on a Disneyland trip.

Hope things work out well for you and your husband

 

[Darcy03231]

I feel your pain. We were scheduled to go to Hawaii for three weeks. 2 weeks before the trip we found out DH had to have a pacemaker. Good news is he's doing fine and Hawaii will always be there.

 

[cabanafrau]

IMO medical considerations take top priority in the situation. I don't honestly understand the correlation between the subbing for the class and the church meeting and the trip? Was it the plan to have some sort of downtime leading up to the trip, or simply downtime ahead of the trip because of the health issues?

I do agree that I would feel frustrated in your shoes when he was dragging his feet about calling the doc. For that issue I would have simply said, my dearest love of my life, you know my need for pre-trip prep and how my anxiety runs amuck, please do me the favor of calling your doc today and get clarification to ease my mind. At that point if there is a specific reason he had to wait the day he could let me know and perhaps I would be able to understand and see his point too.

Are you perhaps more of an eager traveler than your husband? Maybe he says yes to trips that are far off, convincing himself he'll want to go when the time comes, yet in actuality just comes to cold hard reality of not wanting to go when the time comes? Depending on the reality of the situation that's a conversation I might explore with him and make alternate arrangements in the future if it boils down to travel not making him happy.

Could be I'm misunderstanding you, but I think things could be resolved more easily with more communication about feelings and expectations between both of you. Wishing you a healthy bon voyage.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Does traveling trigger anxiety for your husband? Why do you think he has this habit of backing out of trips last minute?

 

[holden]

Sorry this is happening to you. I've had to cancel many trips at the last minute for various reasons. It really made me upset, but that's life. Sometimes you just have to roll with it.

Because of all of the things that have happened in the past, we don't plan vacations in advance anymore. Pretty much anything we do is last minute. It's not my preference, but it saves having to cancel.

 

[Ensusieasm]

Try a solo trip to Disney. You might really enjoy it!

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Just an extra and healthy prayers Dznypal.