Homecoming - is this a common thing now?

[KimR]

It seems that no longer is it just a question of who asked whom to homecoming but in recent years it's all about HOW the asking was done. When I was in high school a guy simply approached a girl and asked her if she'd like to go to the dance. Not anymore. It has to be a production, done in a unique and creative way, preferably with gifts (flowers, balloons, candy, shoes, jewelry) and often with an audience.

I get that it is fun and exciting for the girls, but I can't help but feel bad for those boys (assuming it is the boy doing the asking, which around here 90% of the time that is the case). Not only do they have to drum up the courage to ask a girl, but now they have to come up with a brilliant idea of how to go about it, plan and execute the whole thing, often risking rejection in front of their classmates. YIKES! Although I imagine they often know in advance that the girl will accept, I can't help thinking that they find the whole ordeal to be a huge PITA. I don't know, though, as I have all girls and they just LOVE it.

Is this a common thing elsewhere?

 

[Mizzoufan]

What happens if the girl says no. then he has to put on a show again.? I can see Prom but not homecoming.

 

[jrmasm]

Not Homecoming but asking for Prom has been a huge deal around here for years. I think it's silly and I blame the mothers.

 

[porschegrl]

A girl asked my DS to a Sadie Hawkins type dance last year, and yes, it was a production. So it's not just the boys you need to feel sorry for!

 

[Miskey]

I don't think it's the boys as much as the boy's pinterest obsessed mothers.

So glad my kids were grown before the pinterest "I've got to top everyone else" explosion started taking place

 

[cabanafrau]

Apparently the promposal excess plague has a big appetite. I thought the over the top marriage proposal epidemic was bad enough. Nothing is enough anymore, including Disney vacations. "How can I make our upcoming trip super special?" I really love those questions when it's directed to making an eight year old's visit to Disney more special.

 

[mjkacmom]

It's been like this for several years. I don't feel sorry for the kids - who do you think decided to do this?

 

[Art 1]

Starving for attention.

 

[Happy_Haunt999]

Nothing can be simple anymore.

 

[Jaya]

Over the top wedding proposals, "promposals", homecoming dance proposals. This is really getting out of hand. Back in my day, the guy just came over to the girl's cave, grabbed her by the hair and dragged her off to the clearing where the dance/bonfire/wooly mammoth roast was being held. No worry about whether the "invitation" was elegant enough or whether she would reject his proposal...unless she was stronger than he was.

In high school, if a boy and a girl were a "couple", there wasn't any question about a big will you? session....it was just assumed they would be going to the dance together. Otherwise, the guy just got up the nerve, mumbled "wanna go to the prom with me?" and she either accepted or said she was washing her hair that night.

And what's with these hugely-orchestrated Disney park proposals? I remember one person who said that she and her boyfriend had been together for 10 years, had two or three kids, but she was planning a gigantic Cecil B. DeMille production for his "proposal" at WDW. She couldn't decide whether she wanted the waiters to dance in with the ring (which she had been wearing for years already) on a platter or to have Cinderella and the Prince part the crowds for them (OK, I'm exaggerating here a little.)

Things were so simple "back in the day". I recall my late husband asking me "Well, I guess you want to get married, huh?" No fireworks, no dancing fountains, no prancing waiters. I said yes, and that was that for 37 years.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

At my son's school, they just ask. No crazy proposals. If these kids are doing this for Homecoming, what are they going to do for marriage???

A friend of mine got married a couple of years ago. Her fiance planned a 24 hour "proposal" and spent thousands of dollars on a scavenger hunt-type thing, taking per from place to place; hair, nails, pedicure, massage, even a shopping appointment with a personal shopper to pick out something to wear that night when they finally met. He stood her up for their "dinner" (with a note the waiter gave her when she arrived), then the limo took her back home to her bedroom where she heard something hit her screen. She looked out and he was there with a boombox radio like that Say Anything movie.

A little over the top, IMO, but whatever. She liked it. I personally thought he could have just started and ended with the Say Anything scene since she gushed about that more than the rest of the day!

My proposal was 20 years ago on Christmas Eve and the ring was in my stocking. I pulled out a ton of filling and the ring was in the bottom. Stockings are my favorite part of the "gift" aspect of Christmas, but my DH never got stockings as a child, so he didn't know how awesome they are. I loved my stocking that year because of the proposal of course, but do have to say that he has gotten better in the stocking stuffer department over the years

 

[Wala&Shoonoo]

Reminds me of the elaborate bridesmaids "proposals" that some people choose to do now. I don't understand what is wrong with simply asking in person, or a nice handwritten note? Why does everything have to be so over the top?

 

[Miskey]

Reminds me of the elaborate bridesmaids "proposals" that some people choose to do now. I don't understand what is wrong with simply asking in person, or a nice handwritten note? Why does everything have to be so over the top?

Because unfortunately it's very important to have the MOST likes, shares, views, etc.

 

[mamamary]

I haven't heard about any over the top invites for homecoming around here - at least not yet anyway.

 

[KimR]

It's been like this for several years. I don't feel sorry for the kids - who do you think decided to do this?

You know, I was wondering how this even got started. I imagine some guy (my guess is a theater kid) decided he would impress his girlfriend and her friends by coming up with some cool way to ask her to the prom, someone filmed it and stuck it on youtube and now it's become the new norm.

 

[powellrj]

I am so glad there was no pintress back when I was in HS and when most of my kids were in HS. Now it seems the parents are involved in all of this. I couldn't even tell you who my DD went to Homecoming with or even if she went to the dance. I know we bought her dress on-line because she was up for Homecoming Queen and had to have a nice dress, but thats about all I remember about it.

While I hope DD and DS both find wonderful people to marry, I really don't want to be there when they have a proposal, I feel that is private and personal.

 

[mjkacmom]

I am so glad there was no pintress back when I was in HS and when most of my kids were in HS. Now it seems the parents are involved in all of this. I couldn't even tell you who my DD went to Homecoming with or even if she went to the dance. I know we bought her dress on-line because she was up for Homecoming Queen and had to have a nice dress, but thats about all I remember about it.

While I hope DD and DS both find wonderful people to marry, I really don't want to be there when they have a proposal, I feel that is private and personal.

What makes you think parents are involved? Every one my teens have been involved in these things did so without my knowledge (dd19 asked her then boyfriend to the senior prom by writing in her theater bio in the play program - I didn't know about it until opening night). I can't even remember how ds18 asked his girlfriend to the junior formal although he told me after the fact, when I asked. Teens spend so much time online, they have way more access to ideas, videos, pictures, etc., than adults.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

I'll never forget the time I rented out Lucas Oil Stadium to ask my now wife out for coffee.

 

[alicat8]

I blame the internet. Makes me tired just thinking about it.

 

[powellrj]

What makes you think parents are involved? Every one my teens have been involved in these things did so without my knowledge (dd19 asked her then boyfriend to the senior prom by writing in her theater bio in the play program - I didn't know about it until opening night). I can't even remember how ds18 asked his girlfriend to the junior formal although he told me after the fact, when I asked. Teens spend so much time online, they have way more access to ideas, videos, pictures, etc., than adults.

Because the parents are all over facebook with pictures of the proposals. They have these plans and then invite the parents to take pictures which I really think is over the top. I think these don't need to be something you need pictures of.