How Do I Comfort My DGF After A Really Difficult Decision?

[ashley0139]

How do you comfort her? You tell her to take the job. I can't believe this was even a decision. WDW will always be there. She needs to take the job. Wow. And you supported her decision? My mind is blown.

 

[Hrhpd]

Not sure what DGF is, but I would be convincing her to go to the shoot. This may be a once in a lifetime opportunity for her and to throw it away for Disney is just insane. Is there any reason you couldn't find someone else to go with?

This.

By you saying that taking the role is out of the question, it sounds like you have a strong opinion. She may have made the decision based on what she thinks you wanted.

I would definitely be supporting her in taking the role. It is only money and Disney will always be there.

But the opportunity to advance her career - this may not happen for a long time.

It is not a good decision to choose a vacation over a potential major career move.

Uch...huge huge problem...

My DGF is an actress. She just got a call that she got a great role in a television show! But the producers moved the shoot from mid-October to this Thursday. The problem is...We are going to WDW on Wednesday morning! Her taking this role is out of the question, because together we would be losing over two thousand dollars (or more) on a non-refundable flights, hotel days that have already been paid for, vacation days from work, etc. This was completely her decision and I 100% agree (since we saved for four years to be able to afford this vacation) She is very upset about the situation and as much as I tried to comfort her (since they loved her so much, she may actually have a chance as a series regular, rather than a day player) I know this is going to bother her the entire trip.

Does anyone have any idea what I can do to comfort her or help her cope with such a terrible situation? I know it must have been really hard for her to choose, but she would be losing more money than she would be gaining in the long run, and we would be missing out on something we have been planning for years... Thanks everyone.

Sounds like you are putting your needs over your girlfriends. A true DBF would eat the cost of the vacation and would be encouraging her to no end to forget the vacation, to not worry about the money and to go follow her dreams.

 

[TinkerBelled]

If she's serious about being a professional actress, she has to realize that all moveable parts in her life have to come second. This is one reason that so many actors are waiter/bartenders--it's a skill that transfers easily but where you can leave when needed. Many of my actor friends will work at a location for three or four months and then leave for anywhere from a couple weeks to several months to do a show.

In essence, as everyone else is saying, not taking this job is a bad decision. Even if it's only a day's work, it's an important step for a professional actor.

If she hasn't called, she should seriously reconsider. You could certainly change the trip dates/go for fewer days if needs be.

Even if you had to cancel entirely, the payment for the work and the chance for exposure would be enough to make me lose out on the money. I doubt she's SAG, but even if she's not making scale, TV pay isn't terrible and would cover at least part of her tab. (If she is SAG, she'd make back almost half of your expenses in a day.)

 

[goofyintoronto]

How do you comfort her? You tell her to take the job. I can't believe this was even a decision. WDW will always be there. She needs to take the job. Wow. And you supported her decision? My mind is blown.

Mine too!!

 

[sam_gordon]

Yeah, I agree with everyone else. She's made a career changing decision based on 2000K?
Tell her to go.

I would. 2000K = 2,000,000

I'm sure it's a typo. I just think it's a funny one.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Not sure what DGF is, but I would be convincing her to go to the shoot. This may be a once in a lifetime opportunity for her and to throw it away for Disney is just insane. Is there any reason you couldn't find someone else to go with?

I agree. To heck with the vacation!

 

[rgf207]

Mind = Blown

Stupid decision to turn down a job because of a trip to WDW. Not just any job but the possibility of a reoccurring role in TV.


This has to be a joke. Are we on some sort of hidden camera show here??

 

[moon]

This has to be a joke. Are we on some sort of hidden camera show here??

I'm thinking that too. This can't be real

 

[DebD4T]

She is very upset about the situation and as much as I tried to comfort her (since they loved her so much, she may actually have a chance as a series regular, rather than a day player) I know this is going to bother her the entire trip.

Does anyone have any idea what I can do to comfort her or help her cope with such a terrible situation?

The way you comfort her is to tell her to take the job!!

 

[anna_chronistic]

I agree with all the others. She should absolutely take the role. How many auditions or calls has she attempted where she didn't receive a callback at all, much less an offer? I'm not joking - seriously have her do the math. How many auditions has she done in the past four years (since you've been planning the trip)? How many have led to offers for a job? If acting is what she actually wants to do as a career and isn't just a whim, she needs to see it as work in this instance. Would she quit a job with great career advancement opportunities because she wants to take a vacation (especially if she could reschedule the trip for another time)? I assume the answer is no. Disney will be there in a week, a month, a year, a decade, but this role will not.

 

[TheRose227]

Also, if she's spent enough time in this industry she should know everybody knows everybody. She could miss out on other work because they'll see her as someone who would pick vacation over a career opportunity.

she will be getting paid and possibly get more work. You'll probably make up the money you'd lose by skipping the vacation all together.

 

[Ilivetogo]

This IS a joke, right?

I'd most definitely take the role! If she did get the series regular, imagine how many WDW trips you could afford then!

Tell her to go to the shoot!!!! It's a no-brainer.

.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Also, if she's spent enough time in this industry she should know everybody knows everybody. She could miss out on other work because they'll see her as someone who would pick vacation over a career opportunity. she will be getting paid and possibly get more work. You'll probably make up the money you'd lose by skipping the vacation all together.

:thumbsup

 

[RitaE]

I agree with the others. It sounds like all she really has to do is delay the vacation by a couple of days. Isn't your vacation like 12 days long or something?

I know one thing, she's never going to get noticed as an actress if she doesn't even show up when she has the opportunity.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I would. 2000K = 2,000,000

I'm sure it's a typo. I just think it's a funny one.

I thought the same thing.

Mind = Blown

Stupid decision to turn down a job because of a trip to WDW. Not just any job but the possibility of a reoccurring role in TV.

This has to be a joke. Are we on some sort of hidden camera show here??

This too.

 

[Nancyg56]

I cannot believe that there was discussion about this. Even if she offered to turn it down to go on a vacation, Which I cannot even believe was an option, the fact that you did not insist that he take her opportunity is absolutely shocking to me.

If it is not too late, take back that guilt trip you sent her on and do the right thing by encouraging her to accept the opportunity she has been working towards. If this is an indication of how this friendship works, I am

 

[JRawkSteady]

OK guys... I really don't think you understand what's going on here. This is a small role in one episode for a big show - NOT a series regular. I reread my post and I see how I was misunderstood. Sorry. I had meant to say that I consoled her by telling her "if they liked her so much, hopefully they will call her back and give her a bigger part"... Unfortunately...we are not fortunate enough to say that $2,000 is nothing. It is a pretty huge something. It was four years of savings for us. And this job does not pay as much as one would think...

It's funny...I asked a question about consoling my girlfriend and instead got barraged with people telling me she made the wrong decision.

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

This cannot possibly be true. Everything you hear about aspiring actors and actresses...she'd be nuts to pass up ANY role. Unless she just has so many offers out there she can pick and choose.

 

[RitaE]

Yeah I'm sorry but my answer really doesn't change. She has a chance for a role on a TV program.

Unless ... you know .... she's just getting offers left and right.

And again, isn't your vacation fairly long? She isn't losing $2000. You go down as planned and she pays whatever change fee is required on her airline ticket and joins you 3 or 4 days later.

 

[U2_rocks!]

OK, I know next to nothing about the TV industry, but unless she is doing very well as an actress, which it doesn't sound like to me if it took so long to save for this vacation, wouldn't she want to take almost any role just to get her name out there more? Yes it's a bit role, but who knows who will be watching that day and like her? It could lead to more work.

If it truly is a role that she isn't keen on, and she might have passed on it anyway in hopes of a bigger role in the same show, then why was it such a difficult decision?