How do you get past a bad trip?

PlutoTheDog89

DIS Veteran
Joined
Sep 19, 2011
Maybe "bad" isn't right right word for it.

Let's rewind back to last January. We're fresh off our Christmas trip and feeling especially nostalgic. The Post Disney Depression was hitting really hard. My cousin had been talking about bringing her two little ones down to Disney for a while. We always figured she would one day - but didn't think it'd be so soon. She asked me to break out my planning skills and crunch some numbers for her. Long story short, she settled on Halloween. We had never been for Halloween, so when she asked if we'd wanna join them, we quickly said "yes." We debated Halloween over Christmas for a little while, as we didn't think we'd be able to swing both vacations. Then it happened. We logged onto southwest.com and saw flights for Easter at a little over $100 each way.

We joked for a while "let's celebrate all three holidays at Disney!"

Then I crunched the numbers and sold my family on APs. We bit the bullet and booked Easter, Halloween and Christmas.

Easter was fun. It was a less-than-ordinary trip as we focused on eating and enjoying EPCOT, rather than getting on all the rides. It was as short 4-day trip that we really liked and enjoyed. We've talked about going back.

Halloween was fun, but chaotic. Our cousins and their little ones joined us and in the moment, it felt underwhelming. We very much catered the trip to them and the little ones. Looking back, it was fun—just different.

For Christmas, another family joined us. They joined us a few years ago and it was fun, but this trip was different. Their styles clashed with ours. They liked to hang at the hotel; we like to go to the parks; they barely eat; we love to eat. I tried to build an itinerary around them and to their likings—grabbing FP+'s to the rides and building an efficient day at the parks, while allowing for plenty of time to kick back and relax. And still, they never really seemed happy. It put us on edge — they weren't happy about waiting for Illuminations or the shows; they didn't let their hair down and looked at us in disgust while we enjoyed our food; and whenever we'd recommend something, they'd act as though we were forcing them. We weren't. In fact, midway through the trip we asked if they liked the trip and they said "yes." We urged them to throw out ideas and they had nothing...

Anyway - it wasn't a bad trip, it just felt incomplete and all over the place. We usually spend our last day at Disney discussing plans for our next trip, but everyone just couldn't wait to get home. I'm thinking of letting a few days pass, then bringing up the fact that our APs expire after Easter and it'd be worth it to head down one last time—just the four of us, as a family.

I think we also struggled with—during Easter and Halloween, we didn't mind missing a ride or two, because we knew we'd be back. Now we have no plans set and we didn't really get to do everything we wanted.

So I guess my question is—how do you rebound from a less-than-stellar trip? I'm afraid the overall feeling of it not living up to expectations may tarnish Disney for the time being. In other words, I'm afraid the bad memories will override the good ones and we won't be so quick to go back. Maybe the lack of excitement over "getting back to Disney" is indication that we need some time off? I was chatting with my sister one night and brought up how in years past, we'd have an entire year to look forward to Disney and the anticipation would push us to do more. This trip we spent a lot of time at the resort and I think going so often was the main cause.

Any advice? Any feedback?
 
I chalk it up to an experience and move forward!

My cousin and I dreamed of going to Disney together for years. We finally did and due to different stages in life it ended up being much different that we intended and not as much fun as we anticipated. In the end we put it behind us and moved forward choosing not to let a few disappointing days change our relationship or our thought about Disney.

I agree with @mom2rtk in that the more people you try to 'please' during a trip the more difficult it will be.

My DD and I are often at Disney at the same time as family and/or friends. I make it very clear from the beginning that we may book a couple of things together and possibly a day or 2 in the parks but besides that we'll be on our own. It's worked out really well for us and others to do it this way as you're not trying to meld too many personalities, ages, styles into a single one-size-fits-all trip.
 


I cannot overstate how much I dislike doing Disney with a group other than my immediate family. And, that includes siblings, in-laws, etc. About half our trips have been with extended family. I've told my wife 'Never Again'. Going forward, Disney belongs to her, I, and the kids only.
 
My first step would be to stop traveling with others outside my immediate family.

Yes, this. We don't travel with anyone, at all.

Beyond that, not every trip is going to be as good as the last. If you make multiple trips, some just by nature are better than others. We've made probably 10 trips to WDW in the past 2.5 years. All were wonderful, but some more than others if I had to "rank" them. For the one I'd rank last, really not a big deal. Just chalk it up to not everything going perfectly and look toward the next trip. Really that simple for us.
 
My first step would be to stop traveling with others outside my immediate family.
And even immediate family can be a bore sometimes... :duck:
Now seriously, OP, I think it's really complicated to cater to others' likes and dislikes, especially in a place like Disney. I know some days I wanted to kill my 21 y.o. niece, who seemed to come to life only when it was shopping time. But in the end, she's family, and I knew I could say whatever I felt.
Looking forward to doing just with your family the things you say you've missed may be a good start, IMO.
 


I would also not recommend going with members outside immediate family. With that said, my family has done it before. The trick is to split up and spend a few days with them and a few days by yourself. Do what you like but still spend time with them. You may find you'll like the new experiences they prefer.
 
I agree. We've found a great rhythm just the 4 of us. My inlaws have been dropping hints about joining us next time and I really don't want them to. I like them fine, but I know it will totally change our rhythm.
 
My first step would be to stop traveling with others outside my immediate family.

I agree with this - to a point. We've been fortunate to visit WDW several times a year the last few years, both with and without family, and traveling with others is vastly different than when it's just DH and I. Most of our trips are just the two of us, but I'm already trying to figure out how we could get both of our kids plus their spouses and the DGKs to WDW in 2020 or 2021 to see Galaxy's Edge! In the meantime, I'm pretty sure that our trip to VGF this coming February won't be the last until that big family trip....

I go again...

Yes, I agree. Even if it will be several years away, I think that beginning to plan your next visit - your family only - will help overcome the downsides of the last ones.

Edited to add - when we do go with extended family or friends, we plan some joint activities such as one TS meal a day and some FP that all can enjoy but we don't plan to spend all the time together. Each family group has abundant time on their own - including us!
 
I would also not recommend going with members outside immediate family. With that said, my family has done it before. The trick is to split up and spend a few days with them and a few days by yourself. Do what you like but still spend time with them. You may find you'll like the new experiences they prefer.

Yeah, we tried that. They'd just text us or "bunk into us" after about an hour and we'd be back to square one.

Sadly enough, my favorite moment was when we went to Disney Springs. It was crowded and I tried to sell them on Polite Pig. The mother from the other family said "I don't care for this kind of food." Fair enough. We all went to WPE, but I was annoyed and not hungry at the moment. I just ordered a drink and sat with them. After, they all went shopping. I snuck away to Polite Pig and ate by myself. The peace and quiet was amazing...as was the food.
 
I agree. We've found a great rhythm just the 4 of us. My inlaws have been dropping hints about joining us next time and I really don't want them to. I like them fine, but I know it will totally change our rhythm.

yeah that's the thing - we argue on trips, don't get me wrong, but I wouldn't trade a trip with my immediate family in for anything in the world. As my parents get older, they can't move as fast as they used to, but we are all on the same rhythm and routine. We all love our food and never judge one another if we want an extra cupcake.
 
My first step would be to stop traveling with others outside my immediate family.

We were joined by a couple, relatives actually, in Oct of 2013 and 2015. We get along well otherwise but they just couldn't physically keep up so from then on it's the 2 of us, occasionally joined by our vigorous adult children and grand kids. The 11 of us had a great time this past Nov.

Bill From PA
 
Yeah, we tried that. They'd just text us or "bunk into us" after about an hour and we'd be back to square one.

Sadly enough, my favorite moment was when we went to Disney Springs. It was crowded and I tried to sell them on Polite Pig. The mother from the other family said "I don't care for this kind of food." Fair enough. We all went to WPE, but I was annoyed and not hungry at the moment. I just ordered a drink and sat with them. After, they all went shopping. I snuck away to Polite Pig and ate by myself. The peace and quiet was amazing...as was the food.

Stay in different hotels. That's what we do. But to be fair, our family friends are considerate and they also are experienced Disney fans so it's easy for us.
 
Put on some mellow tunes and drink some orange juice, maaaan.

Oh wait...
 
We don't travel with anyone else. Ever. The ILs have talked about wanting to join us a couple of times, and I love them dearly, but this will not work for so many reasons. Finally, my DH told them no. Nicely.
 
Well you have taken the 1st step, you have analyzed what went wrong. Now to step #2 immediately begin planning your next trip with all of the lessons you have learned fresh in you mind. Its never to soon to start planning. We are going on trip #5 to AKL in June and I am already beginning to plan trip #6. I already know hotel choice will come down to whether or not the Star Wars Hotel is complete. I might even schedule the trip around the hotel opening (if possible).
 
Our most recent WDW trip was not great and didn't capture the magic of our first trip with DD for a number of different reasons.

One of the ways we moved past this was branching out beyond WDW. This year, we've visited Disneyland and taken a Disney Cruise, and both of those trips helped make up for our less-than-stellar 2016 WDW trip.

I'll be back at WDW this fall, but my family isn't planning to visit WDW again until 2020 because we have another Disneyland trip and another cruise in the works! It's been nice to branch out and try new things.
 
And even immediate family can be a bore sometimes... :duck:
Now seriously, OP, I think it's really complicated to cater to others' likes and dislikes, especially in a place like Disney. I know some days I wanted to kill my 21 y.o. niece, who seemed to come to life only when it was shopping time. But in the end, she's family, and I knew I could say whatever I felt.
Looking forward to doing just with your family the things you say you've missed may be a good start, IMO.
by immediate family we mean your partner and children. I personally hate to travel with friends or relatives to disney. Is very hard to please everyone, my husband and children are used to my way of touring, actually it’s OUR WAY of touring.
 

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