How do you know when it is over?

[a1tinkfans]

Is it when you are no longer attracted to your spouse? Is it when you aren't sure you love your spouse anymore? Is it when your trust in your spouse has been broken? After 25 years and a teenager later, do you stay because everyone expects you to, because you do have a teenager and try to pretend all is okay for a couple of years until teenager graduates or do you throw up your hands and say I am done? I need something different in my life because this life no longer feels good anymore. How do you know?

I have no answers, just want to wish you clear thoughts as you decide what to do with your family and marriage.

 

[tiggerlover]

love is a decision. you have to decide that you will love your spouse even during the times that the flame is low.
just make up your mind to be in love.

I think you are partially right in this statement. And the problem is I don't know if that is the decision I want for me, but I certainly agree that is a part of the solution.

 

[mickeysgal]

I think you are partially right in this statement. And the problem is I don't know if that is the decision I want for me, but I certainly agree that is a part of the solution.

You can't have any doubt. What does your gut instinct tell you? Often we push our instincts aside and don't listen to that inner voice.

I would imagine "knowing" would be different in each and every person. I agree that marriage has it's low points but when the low points become the norm, then I would think that it's time to take a good hard, soul-searching look at the big picture and the paths before you.

Wishing you the best...

 

[tiggerlover]

We have definitely had some high points and low points in this marriage, but I think what is really weighing on me now is that I am tired of pretending that things are alright, I am emotionally exhausted. All he wants to do is to put a bandaid on it and clean the slate, not so easy when there is a patten of lying, forgiveness, trust and then it is taken away again. If only I would win the lottery, then my decision to leave would be an easy one.