How Much Freedom Do We Give The Kids?

[NHKristy76]

Hello! I'm looking for some thoughts on a hot-button issue... Hopefully we can all be adults and handle the discussion.

I'm going to WDW with my friend and our two daughters, age 12 and 11. Both girls have cell phones, have been to The World several times, and are very responsible and mature so I'm wondering how much freedom we should allow them during our vacation.

The question then becomes how much independence is enough but not too much?


For instance, we are staying Club Level. Is it okay to let them head down a few minutes before us?

Should we let them get their own table at a TS restaurant? (We have done this at a restaurant close to home - given them their own money and let them experience the whole thing without our intervention. We were in the same restaurant and could see them. We were impressed with their behavior and interactions - the waitstaff praised them too!)

What are your thoughts about letting them go on a ride while we shop nearby? Or experience a different interaction?

Are there other scenarios we could permit that I'm not thinking of yet?

We plan to spend a lot of time with the girls but I know that they are at an age where they crave some independence. I just want my friend and I to talk before we leave home to ensure we are on the same page and set the parameters for what we are comfortable with!

 

[Bean786]

I remember being at that age and my parents letting us pick rides we wanted to do and if they could see the lines all the way, we could get in line. If we all wanted to ride, they'd let us go first and maybe let 3 or 4 family's between us. ( so we still had 'space') Also I see nothing wrong with two tables and even letting them go to the pool and such. Maybe walk down with then to the pool and let then know you might check in on them so they better be were they say they are!

 

[parkhopping]

Based on what you've described about your girls' maturity level, I see no problem with letting them roam freely in the same park you are in - provided that they have a cell phone, check in with you frequently, and stay together. I think letting them sit at their own table at TS restaurant is a great idea! Personally, I wouldn't want to do this at every meal, because I think those are great family times. But once or twice during the trip would be fine.

Of course, take what I said from the perspective of someone who is not a parent. I am not that far removed from being a teenager, though, and I have always been very independent. I think your DDs will enjoy getting to spread their wings a bit in some controlled ways

 

[MomofDisneyLoversx3]

I let my 7yo and 12 up go to the CL lounge several times on our past trip before us. They were well behaved. I also let them go back to the room to grab stuff and bring it back to the lounge. I let them explore the resort w/out us (but together) I love the idea of dinner 'by themselves'. It sounds like these are mature girls used to acting age appropriately and doing things w/ out direct parental interaction. I don't think wdw should be any different. I would let them go into a store w/out you, go onto rides w/out you and have designated meeting places. I would also tell them they have to stay together.
Have fun and enjoy!

 

[parkhopping]

One other thing I should mention - this has probably already occurred to you, and your girls sound smart, so they may already know this. But in addition to having a phone, I'd make sure they have your number memorized in case the phone is lost or the battery dies. Also, make sure they know to find the nearest CM in case of an emergency.

 

[ThreeBeans]

I have four kids, but my oldest is only 8, so take it with a grain of salt

I think what you are describing is very reasonable, and a great 'introduction' to freedom. I would do it with a neurotypical kid.

 

[nchulka]

I think everything you described should be fine. I let my kids 10 & 9 run around at Six Flags with their friends when we go with friends. We have season passes and go all the time so it's more of a friend place, not a family time place to us. At Disney we pretty much stayed together because it was a family vacation, but since this is a friend trip for you guys I don't see any problem with your DD and her friend having some time to themselves.

 

[drinkme]

I know this is a hot topic here on the DIS!

I would definitely let me kids go alone when they were that age. As long as they knew that if they didn't check in when they were supposed to then they couldn't go off on their own anymore.

On our last trip, dd14 (was dd13 then), and her friend went to eat lunch by themselves. They ate at a TS restaurant instead of a CS restaurant. We were on the dining plan and they didn't realize how much that screwed up our upcoming ADRs. I got really mad at first, but it wasn't that big of a deal. They just didn't get to go with the rest of us when we went for another TS (they had to eat CS instead).

HTH

 

[rpbear]

I think the freedom you are going to allow the girls sounds perfect. I have two daughters ages 19 and 25 and I liked to give them freedom in the parks. Since there was an age difference I waited to the oldest was 14. However once I did let them ride RRC 10 times in a row without me when they were 12 and 6. I couldn't keep up with them. LOL

 

[growinupdisney]

I remember the summer before I went into 7 grade I went to WDW with a friend and we went to MK all day by ourselves. We stayed at the CR only other park was Epcot. No cell phones back then I then we just had to meet at a certain time. I though at this point I had been going to WDW every year with my family too since I was about 7 so I knew my way around.

I think they are fine to do all you suggested, my older kids have since they 10 and 12 gone and rode certain rides without us we had meeting places as well as cell phones. They didnt want to watch Wishes anymore but instead ride rides.

 

[lorli]

Our dd is 11 and we have been doing some of this last few years on our trips. The only thing I would caution about would be table services. Especially if it is a heavy season. I would not want to take up 2 tables when most restraunts don't have 2 tops or many of them.

 

[DisNikki]

I went on a class trip to WDW in 4th grade. We were supposed to stay in groups of 4 but frequently it was just two of us together in a park for an entire day. We paid for all our own meals and then just met back at the bus after the fireworks. It was 1986 (no cell phones!) and my parents willingly sent me to FL from CO with 20+ other kids and just 4 chaperones. Crazy, right?

All that to say I see no problem with the freedoms you're giving them. Our kids are a little younger but we're definitely working our way up to the point you're at. They love the supervised freedoms like sitting on their own at a restaurant. I think if they've shown they can make good choices and know what to do when things go slightly wrong (a ride stopping, for example) then it's no problem. Seems like Disney is one of the best places to let them experiment with a bit more freedom than usual!

 

[SarahKate]

Sounds like a great idea! Give them a little freedom, it sounds like they can handle it. I like the other posters idea of having them memorize phone numbers or have them written down in case their phones dies. Small chance but still worth doing. Last fall we let our DD 10 have a tiny bit of freedom at Epcot. We were looking around some of the countries and she wanted to start her next Agent P mission, I think it was in Japan and DH and I were in Germany. It made me a little nervous at first, seeing her go into the crowds but she is a responsible kid, had a phone and has been to Epcot lots of times so she was familiar with where things are. We kind of watched from a distance until we saw her turn off into Japan so we knew she arrived safely but. We met up with her a little while after and she was having a fun time, even all by herself!

 

[ForMyBoys]

I think what you are stating is totally reasonable. In fact I'd be comfortable giving them a few hours alone in the park as long as they stay together. Just pick a meeting time/place a few hours later.

 

[ttintagel]

My sister and I were turned loose at 12 and 13, before the age of cell phones. We had pre-arranged meetup times. We didn't do table service at all when we were kids, so I don't have any experience to share about that part.

 

[khaoskat]

When we got this year, I will have an almost 10 yo and a 8 1/2 yo. My kids are really used to theme parks as we are season pass holders for King's Island and Cedar Point and frequent them on a regular basis. I know neither of those parks are as huge as Disney, so I am modifying what we do there...we have allowed our older 2 a bit of freedom last year there and gave them a cell phone to use while (and both have our phone numbers memorized).

We allow them to stand in ride lines by themselves while we are at a ride right next to where they are (and can see them) and let their two younger siblings ride something or we are at the food stand right next to the ride getting a drink or popcorn refill. (Again, I am sure the rides are closer at KI/CP than at WDW, so we will have to alter this depending upon how close.)

Right now, our plan for Disney is to play it by ear. We may purchase a straight talk/no contract/month to month phone so each can have their own. If there are rides we cannot ride as a family (or split into smaller groups and ride) we will allow them to stand in line together w/o us being right with them, but where we can see them. If there is a ride we wouldn't be able to watch the whole line, one of us would just go "observe" at a distance.

I don't think I would let my kids at their current ages sit at a TS by themselves, but maybe at a QS.

As for the pool. I would probably go down to the pool to keep an eye on them, but allow them to freely roam about as long as they checked in every so often. I could keep an eye on them and work on my tan.

 

[leeg229]

I'm not a parent, yet, but I'd think 11 and 12 are right on that borderline of being ready to exercise some freedom and not being ready to. BUT having cell phones like you said would put me more at ease and I'd feel comfortable letting them wander about the parks as long as they sent you a text every now and then letting you know what's up so I say go for it.

I'd remind the girls that while Disney is a very safe and friendly place they need to keep a close eye on their purses and personal belongings because there are some people out there that would snatch something left behind in a heartbeat.

 

[fla4fun]

I was allowed to go solo in the same park when I was 13 (pre-cell phone days) - well, there was only one park, lol! My younger sister wasn't allowed to accompany me until she was 10 (two parks by then, but no cell phones) and we were allowed to be in a different park at that point. We never had any problems. But we were both mature for our ages and knew we had to behave ourselves. That's the big thing - knowing when your kids are mature enough to handle the freedom. Some kids can do it at 10 and some can't do it at 18. It sounds like the OP's kids can handle it.

 

[disnut8]

Should we let them get their own table at a TS restaurant? (We have done this at a restaurant close to home - given them their own money and let them experience the whole thing without our intervention. We were in the same restaurant and could see them. We were impressed with their behavior and interactions - the waitstaff praised them too!)

While everything else you said was fine, this would bother me. I think meal times should be when everyone is together and can talk about what they've been doing during the day (if you aren't together). Plus, as someone else said, you would be taking up another table that other guests could have used. And, there's no guarantee that you would be able to be close enough to the kids to witness their behavior.

 

[serene56]

Should we let them get their own table at a TS restaurant? (We have done this at a restaurant close to home - given them their own money and let them experience the whole thing without our intervention. We were in the same restaurant and could see them. We were impressed with their behavior and interactions - the waitstaff praised them too!)

While on vacation- dinner together as a family is mandatory. My kids are 32, 30 and 28 with their own families too---lol
heading out on our first family vacation since 2000 so we are in the process of making plans where we should dine.

The girls will be old enough soon enough-- use that time to dine as a family.
Its a nice thought though..